by Dani René
“Do you want to come, slut?” he asks, I think he’s laughing, but I’m too delirious to tell.
“Yes, Sir!” I cry out.
“No. You’re a horny little fuck toy that I need to use some more.” His words only send me spiraling into the abyss of dark desire, and dangerous lust.
Once again, he starts his assault. My ass smarts. My clit feels as if it’s about to explode. My body is wound so tight, everything south of my belly button feels as if it’s being gripped in a tight fist.
My knees wobble, my thighs tremble. I bite down on my lip, I can’t hold on anymore and he knows it. As soon as I feel myself slipping, the command comes. “Squirt for Sir. Soak the floor in your sweet cunt juices.” He growls and I do. My body releases from the coil and I snap. My cries are so harsh, so loud I’m sure the people from seven floors down can hear me.
I shut my eyes so tight, all I see is white, harsh and bright, but it only makes me squeeze them tighter. My knees shake, my hands slide down the window as I collapse onto all fours, slipping on the wooden floor where I’ve drenched it in my slick release.
“Now lick up the mess you made, then come and kiss me.” He settles beside me on the floor waiting as I lick up what I can. My body trembling from the orgasm. As soon as he’s happy with what I’m doing, he pulls me into his arms, cocooning me from the hurt and pain of life, giving me the affection I crave in that moment. My mind isn’t here. It’s floating far above us. The moment is perfect. His arms are warm, he offers affection, safety and I know as I come down from that place, he’ll be there to hold me. Giving me the aftercare of a caring, affectionate Dominant.
When I wake from the dream, the memory of that night when I had his arms around me, I find the bedroom draped in darkness. Carrick must be at work. My ass is still sore from when he whipped me. In a way, I’m glad he didn’t take me. Yes, I wanted it. Wanted him, but in my heart, I know I’ll never belong to any other man, but Nathan.
I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, pushing up onto wobbly limbs. I’ve slept more in the last two days than I have in months. Deciding I need something warm to drink, I head down the long hallway to the kitchen. The place is meticulous and I almost feel bad for dirtying a mug, but I set it on the counter, turn on the kettle, and watch the water boil through the glass jug.
My mind has been in turmoil and my body has been in pain. Nothing can prepare you for having someone you love walk out on you. But deep down, I have a feeling that Nate wasn’t telling me everything. Perhaps he really doesn’t love me, but why wait three long weeks to get rid of me. I don’t understand why he didn’t just break up with me, like a normal person would, tell me to move on. Why try to hurt me. It doesn’t make sense that he wanted me to feel anger, or even hatred toward him.
There’s one thing I know about him is that he doesn’t do something without reason. That means there’s more to this whole situation than he’s told me. Determination is a dangerous thing when you’re in pain. It makes you do things you probably shouldn’t. My mind reels with confusion. I need to do something. Force him to tell me the truth. But how? The kettle clicks once it’s boiled, and I fill the mug with steaming liquid.
“He still loves you,” a voice from behind startles me and I spin around to find Carrick leaning against the door frame looking ever the sex god in his charcoal suit and silver dress shirt. His hair is messy, sticking up in all directions making it look like he’s been pulling at it in frustration.
“What makes you think that?”
Sighing, he pushes away from the door, shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “I called him. I needed to know what the fuck is going on. Something doesn’t sit well with me and I wanted to know how he could let you go. Granted, I don’t care, because I’d rather have you in my bed than his, but I can see you’re broken up about this.”
“You had no right—”
“I have every fucking right, Eva,” his voice is steel. Hard and cold like the man himself. Carrick is a cold-hearted bastard and I don’t understand how he can care for me when I’ve never seen him with a woman more than once. He fucks around like it’s his job. He over-indulges with women in this club like they’re all here for him. As if he wants to test every submissive in the country so he can boast about having her first.
With me he can.
“I didn’t mean to get angry, I just don’t like seeing you hurt,” he confesses, his tone gentler now. I stalk toward him, gripping my mug. The heat of it warming me, but I’m still cold. It feels as if it’s seeped into my bones somehow and I don’t know how to change that. How do I find warmth again, when it walked out of my life?
“I’m not yours to care for, Carrick. You let me go years ago. We may still be friends, but you need to let me fight my own battles. If he wanted to leave, then I couldn’t stop him.”
“Six years I’ve watched you, Eva. I’ve seen you flourish from that broken teenager to a woman who can hold her own. Do you not think somewhere in that time I’ve come to care for you?” He grips my hips, holding me steady because I feel like I’m about to faint. His touch is something else entirely, not lustful, but kind, affectionate.
“You told me when I was seventeen that you couldn’t be with me. Even though I wanted you. I was ready to submit to you,” I tell him, meeting gentle eyes.
“You were a child,” he hisses.
“I wasn’t a child when you fucked me on the hood of your Mercedes Benz that night,” I counter quickly. I know I’m pushing him, but I have nothing left. Only him.
“Don’t tempt me to put you over my knee and spank that sass out of you, girl. Because I will and I’ll enjoy it.” His feral growl is enough to send a shudder racing down my spine. Those deep honey-colored eyes bear down on me, staring into me, seeing my anguish. “This isn’t you. It never was. Yes, you may enjoy kneeling, spanking, and submitting, but you’re no slave.”
“I was to him,” I say, lifting my chin in defiance. I may not have been used to the kink that Nathan enjoyed, but I wanted to because of him. I wanted the man, the monster, all the sides of him he kept hidden beneath a suit and tie. He had a polished exterior, but was so broken inside. Just like me. We were two halves of the same broken glass. We fit together seamlessly. Only, the glue that once held us somehow disintegrated and we’re once again left forgotten shattered pieces.
“To him you were a fucking toy!” He roars, pivoting so fast, I feel dizzy. His fist slams into the wooden door, breaking through the surface. When he pulls it back out, blood oozes from his knuckles. Grabbing the tea towel, I race to him, taking his hand in mine. When I dab at the blood he hisses. Gently, I pull a splinter from his finger causing him to growl like a rabid dog. “You see what you are?”
Snapping my gaze to his, I stare at him for a moment before asking. “What?”
“You my sweet girl,” he whispers, cupping my face with his other hand like I’m fragile, “are a submissive. You want to please. That’s why you did what you thought he needed. Did you enjoy when he fucked other women with you right there?” I shake my head, biting my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I’m a Dominant, I can give you what you need,” he assures me. His gaze imploring, and as much as I want that, as much as I crave to be needed, wanted, desired, there’s only one man that pulls at my heart.
“Carrick,” I breathe softly in a gentle warning. I know we can’t do this. I wanted it before, but now that it’s right here in front of me, I know we don’t belong together. My emotions are all over the place, playing with me in ways I can never fathom, but I can’t fuck up my friendship with Rick. So, I offer a small smile. “I can’t. I’ll always belong to him.” Moments pass. Then he nods.
“I’ll go. Make yourself at home. I need space.” Then he turns and leaves me standing in his kitchen with a bloody tea towel and my heart thudding against my ribs. Sighing, I drop the cloth on the countertop and head into his bedroom to find my belongings. Pulling my phone from my purse, I scroll down to Nate’s number and hit dial.
I’m not sure what I’m going to say to him, but it’s time we sit down and talk like adults. On the fourth ring, I’m about to hang up when he finally answers.
“What?”
“Nathan?” His breathing hitches at the sound of my voice. He must’ve answered without looking at his phone, or he’d already deleted my number. The latter makes my heart ache.
“Eva, why are you calling me?” He sounds like he’s walking. The noise from the traffic sounds over the line and I can’t help wondering where he’s going. Jealousy tingles through me, taunting me. Perhaps he’s going to meet another woman. Someone who can give him what he needs.
Steeling my voice, I breathe deeply before responding. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing more to say. We don’t work. This is finished, Eva. I made myself clear, or did you not feel degraded enough when I left you thoroughly fucked with cum dripping from your cunt?”
His words are meant to hurt and sting. Instead they enrage me. “No, clearly I didn’t. I guess I’ll take Carrick up on his offer then since you’re—”
“What?” he demands. His voice is shrill, losing his confident cocky edge. I can hear the fear lacing his shocked grunt.
My mind works quickly. I’m about to goad the beast and I know it’s wrong, but I’m angry. I need to finally fight for what I want. And I want Nathan. If that means taunting him the way he did to me, then so be it. I’m no longer the scared little girl that’s happy to take his shit.
The man I want is a monster, but I’ve seen him in another light too. I’ve gotten glimpses of his romantic side, the tender, gentler side. That’s the Nathan I want and that’s what I’m about to go to war for.
“You heard me. Carrick offered me his Dominance. He’s told me that he’s prepared to collar me.” My confidence slips when a sound falls from his mouth that is inhumane. I know I’m about to put myself in a world of hurt, but I no longer care. Suddenly, a door shuts somewhere and I hear an engine rev in the background.
“If you go anywhere near him, mark my words, I’ll cane you. Not only your ass, but your tits and cunt too. You’ll be in so much pain, for so fucking long, you’ll forget that any other man exists but me. Do you understand me, Eva? I’m not playing around. His cock, his hands, any of his fucking toys touch you in any way, I’ll make sure you pay for it.”
“Jealousy never did look good on you, Nathan. It doesn’t feel good being played at your own game, does it?” I don’t know where I find my self-confidence, but it seems to spark me into action. I’m pulling on a pair of jeans and my trainers by the time Nate hangs up in a fit of rage with threats of killing Carrick. I race down the stairs only to slam into Mason’s hard body. He’s built like a goddamn wall. Tall, dark, and handsome, he’s all sorts of exotic with his European ancestry.
“Woah, pretty lady.” His hands grab me, holding me from falling back onto my ass. “Are you okay?”
Nodding quickly, I ask. “Where’s Rick?” My breath coming out in short spurts. Fear than Nathan will harm Carrick sets me into a panic that is too confusing to think about.
“He’s in the office. Are you okay?”
I don’t respond, but offer a small smile. As I push past him, I head straight for the dark wooden door at the end of the hallway. Shoving it open, I gasp when I find Carrick balls deep inside Jessie. The same girl that Nate made me go down on.
“Shit,” Rick hisses, pulling out of the bent over brunette. “Leave.” He growls at her, and I notice the glare she pins me with. She quickly pushes the hem of her dress down which was bunched around her waist and scurries by me with a huff. Once we’re alone, and he’s safely tucked in his slacks, he pins me with a questioning gaze. “You want a ride as well? Bent over or…?” He laughs, amusement written all over his face.
“I told Nate you offered to collar me,” I inform him, ignoring the question. He reaches up, running his fingers through his already sex-mussed hair.
“Jesus, Eva.” He flops into the chair as I close the door with a resounding click.
“He’s on his way here to kill you.” My teeth pull on my lower lip, biting down hard in fear at the thought of what Nathan is capable of. Carrick watches me for a moment before rising confidently. He heads toward me, gripping my shoulders, he holds me to him, pulling me into a warm embrace. He’s so calm and my anxiety is spiked. My stomach is in knots with thoughts of what is about to happen. I wanted a reaction from Nathan, I’m sure to get one now.
“I’ll move mountains for you, Eva. And trust me when I say, I’m not scared of him,” he assures me as the door flies open and we both turn to find the livid, rage-filled mocha eyes of Nathan Ashcroft.
Nate
“Get the fuck off her,” I roar. My vision blurs in anger at seeing another man’s hands on what’s mine. Even though I walked away, Eva will always belong to me. Stepping into the office, I slam the door shut, pinning my glower on Carrick. He doesn’t look worried that I’m about to rip him a new asshole.
“Nate, please?” When Eva’s voice cuts through my anger, I snap my gaze to her. She’s staring at me like I’m the bad guy. Perhaps I am, but she pushed me to do this. To be here fighting for her.
“What? You want to fuck him?” I gesture to Carrick who’s standing there with a knowing smirk on his face. He did this on purpose. Overconfident fucking asshole.
“Carrick, please give us a moment?” She turns to him, looks at him like he’s her knight in Armani armor. He nods once, leaning in, he plants a kiss to her forehead, keeping his eyes trained on me. Taunting me. When he strides by me, his eyes never leave mine. He leaves us in his office without a word, but the warning was clear in the look he gave me. I know he doesn’t trust me with her. I don’t blame him. The door clicks closed behind me, but I don’t move. This is her doing, so she’s in control, for once.
When I finally turn to face her again, I meet her stare. “What did you do that for? Did you want me to come here and hurt you again?”
“No, Nathan. I wanted to see if you even felt something for me. And you being here, shows how much you care for me, and don’t fucking look at me like that.” She waves her hand in the air. “As much as you deny it, your racing here to rip me from Carrick’s arms shows how much you actually want me. So, why don’t you quit playing games and tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Her body visibly shakes. As the tremors shoot through her all I want to do is go to her and pull her into my arms where she belongs, but I can’t. I need us to sort through this shit to get to that point. “I can’t take the thought of another man touching you, Eva,” I confess honestly. It’s the most I can give her, I wish she’ll let it go. But I know her too well.
“That doesn’t make sense. You don’t want me, so nobody can have me?” I’m being unfair. I know this. Who knew it was so difficult to let go. “You’re happy to share yourself with other women while I watch, but if I went to another Dominant, it didn’t matter who, you’d be jealous. And we’re not even together. How is that fair?” She stalks toward me then, raising her hand, she swings, slapping me hard across the face. “Do you know what it did to me watching you fuck other women? Using them. Letting them suck your cock? Let me tell you one thing, Nathan, you’re a fucking coward. You can’t even get hard without hurting me. Without breaking me down. That doesn’t make you a Dominant. Or a Master. That makes you a fucking pussy ass coward. That’s what you are,” she spits the words at me, fire blazing through them, flames licking at me as she tears me down, and I deserve every fucking moment. “And until you decide to change, to give me the honesty you owe me, we are done. And I will go to Carrick and ask him to take me on as his submissive.”
Her words fuel the anger inside me, but I don’t lash out, I don’t respond because everything she says is true. I see our relationship through her eyes and I wonder how she doesn’t hate me. How she’s standing here talking to me.
“I’m a selfish bastard.”
“Yes, that you are,” she tells me confidently, in her r
aging, yet honeyed tone. Even when she’s livid she’s beautiful, a fucking diamond in my darkness. My jewel.
“I’ve had a problem for a long time. My greed, my addiction, it made me blind to everything around me. Including you. When I walked into Seven Sins, I saw you and I had to have you,” I tell her with more honesty than I’ve ever allowed myself to give anyone. I should tell her. She needs to know what I’ve done. Why I found her, but I can’t because she’s right, I am a coward.
“Look, I can’t be yours if you’re going to go out fucking other women. I can’t share you. I gave you me, all of me and you took it and flushed it down the drain. I watched with each scene how you enjoyed those women. Sadly, I can’t give you what you need. And I know that’s why you left. I—”
“NO!” I halt her words immediately. “That’s not why I walked out. I…” This is it. Do or die. If I tell her the truth, she’ll hate me, but at least she’ll know I did love her enough to leave. “I left because I’m not good enough for you. Because I lied to you when we first met.”
“What?” she asks, shock dripping from the word, burning through my heart. Her eyes are wide, big blue orbs filled with pain. “You mean the night you asked Carrick to send me to room one?” Her question is filled with confusion. I nod, looking out through the glass at the club below, I can’t help watching the people move around, sip their drinks, enjoy their time with partners, subs and Doms.
This life, it’s not for the feint hearted. It’s a cold, cruel world and I’ve turned into that. I’ve become closed off. But when Eva strolled into my life, she did something no other woman could. She broke through those high walls I’d built, she’d seen the ugliness inside me and she loved me anyway.
“Two years ago, I was in financial debt. I was about to lose the company, but it wasn’t just mine because my best friend trusted me enough to partner with me and if I went down, Asher would too. I didn’t have a choice, I was pushed into a corner and I made the wrong choice. My greed sent me spiraling down a dark hole and when I saw light, it was in the form of a check. Attached to that piece of paper was an agreement.” I allow my words to stop for a moment, for her to hear what I’m saying. To try to piece together my past.
