6. Do you agree with the author when she says, “Goodness is of God; we cannot make ourselves good through an act of will”? Is it possible to be a “good person”? Look again at her thoughts on goodness in this chapter. What do you think about the idea that calling oneself “good” is an act of separation from the rest of the universe, and is therefore a disaster?
7. The author claims that we all, like Jacob, have altars in our lives, even if we are not particularly religious. What does she mean by this? What altars do you have in your life?
8. Why is asking questions important? What does this chapter say about the importance of asking questions? Are there areas of your life in which have you stopped asking questions? Spiritually? Politically? Emotionally?
Chapter 4: What Are You Looking For?
1. What do you think the author means when she calls the Bible a “living book, not a dead one”? How should we “go beyond its pages” as we apply it to our lives?
2. L’Engle says that the Bible is not the only book in which she looked for truth. She cites a passage from the Koran her parents had framed and hanging in their home, as well as fiction and fairytale, and even science. Where do you look for truth? How do you seek truth? In literature, art, travel, conversation over coffee? When you encounter truth in unexpected places, how do you recognize it?
3. Do you take the Bible literally? Do you take some of it, but not all of it, literally? How do you decide what is literal and what is not? Do you agree with L’Engle when she says, “The Bible is a book which urges us to keep our concept of God open, to let our understanding grow and develop as we are illumined by new discoveries”? What does this mean to you?
4. Throughout this chapter the message that whatever you look for, you’ll find is repeated. If you look for the devil, you’ll find him. If you look for the swear words in a book, you’ll see them. Have you found this to be true in your own life? On what do you focus? How does your perspective change when you consciously try to find goodness instead of something else?
5. “It is not a simple thing to accept God’s love, because if we do, we must return love,” L’Engle says. What does this mean? Why is returning love difficult? Is there a situation in your life that challenges your ability or desire to return love?
6. Have you ever been fed up with Christians? What was it that rankled you? How can you live your life differently, so as not to become the type of “Christian” that troubles you?
Chapter 5: Rooted in Cosmos
1. Here, the author discusses the importance of myth, and how myth prompts us to ask questions we might otherwise avoid. How does myth help us to see truth? In what way has myth touched your life, grown your perceptions, or expanded your understanding?
2. Where did the author encounter the notion of “universe-disturbers”? Do you believe you have the capability to disturb the universe? Who do you consider to be “universe-disturbers”? How do these people encourage or challenge you?
3. Why is it important for us to “move with change”? What does the author mean when she says this? To what type of change is she referring?
4. Do you struggle with the idea of a God who can keep track of everything—every galaxy, every atom—all at once? Why or why not?
5. What does L’Engle mean when she talks about the perception of God as “out there” versus an “in it” God? Which idea feels more accurate to you?
6. L’Engle says, “How do I open my heart in prayer? In love? The fact that I don’t do it very well doesn’t mean that I don’t have to try.” Do you believe you need to try and pray for those whose actions or words frighten, disgust, shame, or offend you? How do you try to pray for them, even if you don’t do it well?
7. In what ways does the author believe we insist on sameness in the church? What does the insistence of sameness do to the Body of Christ?
Chapter 6: Angel Unaware
1. Have you ever encountered an angel in your life, either literally or figuratively? How did that encounter change you? Do you think you’ve ever had the opportunity to be an angel to someone else?
2. The author claims that prayer is an act of vulnerability. What does she mean by this? How does prayer unite us to those for whom we pray? How does it connect us to the stars, to the universe, in a universe-disturbing way?
3. “We are not all called to go to El Salvador, or Moscow, or Calcutta, or even the slums of New York, but none of us will escape the moment when we have to decide whether to withdraw, to play it safe, or to act upon what we prayerfully believe to be right, knowing that with all our prayers we may be wrong, and knowing that we will probably be punished by those who do not want universe-disturbers to stand up and be counted.” Have you ever had to decide between playing it safe or standing up for something, as described here? How was that experience manifested in your life? How did it challenge or change you?
4. L’Engle says that any part of creation can be a messenger, or an angel from God. She implies that anything—a storm, a song, a question—can “allow us to grow and develop and change in our understanding of ourselves and of God.” Do you agree with this? Have you ever experienced communion with God in a place or thing or way unexpected?
5. Do you think community and individualism are conflicting ideas? How do we retain “self” as we intersect with those around us?
6. “It was easier for Esau to forgive Jacob for his treachery than it was for Jacob to believe in or accept Esau’s forgiveness.” Has this ever been true for you? Why is it sometimes difficult to accept forgiveness? Do you find forgiving is easier than being forgiven? Why or why not?
Chapter 7: Bless the Bastard
1. Speaking specifically about various translations of the Bible, as well as creeds and other sacred texts, L’Engle says, “In trying to use inclusive language, we have blundered into inconclusive language.” What does she mean by this? What might be considered “inconclusive” language in a certain translation, and how is this damaging?
2. Reflect on this statement: “Religion and language are like rivers, constantly flowing from the same source, as we respond to all that is happening in the world around us.” Do you agree? How does this image shape your perception of language? Think of the ways language has changed in recent years, especially with the advent of text, chat, tweet, and other forms of virtual communication. How do these forms of communication influence the idea the author expresses here?
3. Are words alone what matters, or does the intent behind the words give them more weight? L’Engle says, “Those of us blessed with a good education have the responsibility to use vocabulary judiciously, not carelessly.” Do you agree? Can words in and of themselves become harmful, despite the intent behind them?
4. What view of the Second Coming horrifies the author? Why? How, instead, does she think about the Second Coming? What is the difference in these views, and why is it important?
5. Though still angry and hurt after being falsely accused of sharing a friend’s secret, L’Engle found herself praying a blessing over the true, unknown offender—“Oh, God, bless the bastard.” She says that, once given, a blessing cannot be retracted; and she says that she did mean her words in that moment. Have you ever been in a similar position? How do you offer a blessing instead of a curse to those who hurt you?
6. What does the author say we might be missing if we “are demanding specific blessings”? Have you demanded specific blessings? In your prayers for your family, your future, your financial state, for political changes, the people in your church, or the conflict you have at work—in any of these, have you demanded specific blessings? Is there a chance you’ve missed the actual blessings God has sent? Take some time to reflect on this, and ask God to reveal his blessings which you might not have noticed.
Chapter 8: A Sense of Wonder
1. Where does the author seek God during times of intense loneliness? Why is it important to her to seek and find el in this way?
2. Have you ever experienced glory in a surprising pla
ce, surrounded by imperfection or heartache? What, to you, is a glimpse of glory, or “flash of heavenly understanding”?
3. The author once advised a young girl to “remain a child forever, and grow up, too.” What do you think she meant by this? Is it possible to be both a child and a grown-up in the same moment?
4. What does L’Engle say about losing our sense of wonder? How does this loss affect us? Have you ever lost your sense of wonder? Were you able to get it back? How does wonder help you to accept change with grace?
5. Is there power in naming? In this chapter, the author lists the many names she has for things she loves—trees, rocks, even her home, Crosswicks. Have you ever named anything (aside from a pet or a child)? Did offering a name to something somehow change your relationship with it? If so, how?
6. Are you willing to question God, to question your own beliefs or convictions? Do you agree with L’Engle when she says, “Questions are disturbing, especially those which may threaten our traditions, our institutions, our security. But questions never threaten the living God, who is constantly calling us, and who affirms for us that love is stronger than hate, blessing stronger than cursing”?
7. When you feel separated from the stars, as L’Engle describes it, how do you reconnect? How do you nourish your spirit and reawaken wonder?
Chapter 9: Breaking the Taboo
1. What does L’Engle say about pain in this chapter? Is pain a blessing or a curse? Have you ever experienced severe pain, or witnessed it in others? How did it affect you?
2. In what ways did Jesus shock those who strictly followed religious law? L’Engle says, “Jesus never broke the law simply to break the law, never as an act of rebellion, but always to obey the higher law of love.” Have you ever felt compelled to obey the higher law of love, even if it meant shocking those around you? What are some ways we can follow Christ’s example of “being Love” to our friends, neighbors, and community today?
3. What revelations did the author have about blood? How did this change her perception of hymn lyrics? Why was her revelation important?
4. L’Engle equates grief and pain, saying both are a type of warning. One, pain, is physical, whereas grief is a type of spiritual pain. She says, “Once I was able to grieve, rather than to be angry, and sorry for myself…then healing became possible, healing which cannot occur without love.” How does grief usher us into healing? Is it possible to get stuck in grief and never be healed?
5. What does L’Engle say about those who have never experienced pain? Why does she believe pain is important? She says that the capacity for pain is equal to the capacity for something else—what? Do you agree with her?
6. How do you know when you need a “transfusion” of the Blood of Christ? In what ways do you receive this “transfusion of love”?
Chapter 10: Let the Baboons Clap Their Hands
1. What does L’Engle say about heaven in this chapter? Do you agree it is possible that those like Gandhi, despite not being “Christian,” are welcomed into heaven after death? Why or why not?
2. “What any civilization says about God tells us more about that civilization than it does about God.” Do you agree with this statement? If so, what does our civilization say about God? What does that say about our civilization?
3. Where does L’Engle say she often sees Christ in her life? Do you see Christ in your life? Do you see him in unexpected, perhaps even unorthodox, places? Can you see him in places and things which are not necessarily “Christian”?
4. What do we reveal about ourselves in our acts of worship? L’Engle says that we often worship what we fear. How so? Can you think of examples? How are our religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices reflective of us instead of God?
5. “To wipe out anyone from God’s love is a form of murder, even if it is not literally acted out.” What does this mean? How do we wipe people out of God’s love?
Chapter 11: Redeeming the Symbols
1. Are symbols important to the author? Are they important to you? Why or why not? Where do you see symbols in your life, and how do they draw you to God or Creation, if at all?
2. What is the difference between destructive and constructive criticism, according to L’Engle? Have you received one or both in your life? Which has inspired the most change in you?
3. “There are people, however, who seem so plagued by terrible things that it would indeed seem that they have been damned. In their lives one tragedy follows another. It is a terrible mystery. But do not come to me when something terrible has happened saying, ‘It’s God’s will.’ No! Death, disease, murder, may be from man’s error, but never God’s will. In the face of suffering and tragedy, we can only have faith that somehow, ultimately, in God’s time all wounds will be healed.” Do you agree? How do you reconcile a loving God with the reality that some lives are plagued by tragedy? Do you believe that all wounds will be healed?
4. What does the author mean by “I would rather dwell on the bright side, not the dark side, of a symbol”?
5. Do you see God and interconnectedness in the universe? Does the discussion of time, particle physics, symbols, and faith in the chapter enhance your understanding, or challenge you in new ways?
6. The idea of interconnectedness is a central theme in this book. If, as L’Engle argues, all of Creation is interconnected—if the wings of a butterfly really can cause chaos in another galaxy—how should that knowledge shape our relationship with the world around us? Does interconnectedness imply we must acknowledge and work toward the good of all—from the health of our oceans to the health of our neighbor’s soul? Discuss these words: “We can no longer separate ourselves from the rest of creation, nor think of ourselves as more important in God’s eyes than stars or butterflies or baboons. We are part of a whole which is so intricately balanced that the smallest action (watch that butterfly) can have cosmic consequences.”
7. What is the meaning of mu? Do you agree that Jesus often gave mu answers to questions asked of him? How is a mu answer positive or negative? What does it teach us? L’Engle claims that mu answers are “redemptive, never destructive.” How so?
Chapter 12: Echthroi and Angels
1. What does L’Engle mean when she says, “It is not easy to understand that love is the most powerful of all weapons, love in its very weakness”? How is love powerful? In what way must it be weak in order to be powerful?
2. Here, the author frequently raises the question about whether or not, in the end, Satan and the fallen angels may be reconciled to God. She wonders if they, “like the rest of creation, may be redeemed and blessed.” Have you ever thought about this? Do you think reconciliation for all creation, including fallen angels, is possible? Does this idea bother you? Why or why not?
3. L’Engle describes prayer as “simply a holding out of whoever it is, friend or foe, to the love of God.” This act, she says, also draws her into the pain of the one for whom she prays. Does this idea challenge your own prayer life? Are you willing to hold someone out in prayer, even someone with whom you disagree or have a deep grievance? Why is the interconnectedness found in prayer important?
4. What does the author say about blessing in this chapter? Do we have a role in the act of blessing? How does offering blessing to those who disappoint and hurt us change us?
5. What qualities within you are a blessing and what are an of echthroi, as the author says? How do you deal with the very paradox of your nature?
6. What does the author say about protection in this chapter? Does the quality of goodness assume protection? How does this challenge your faith and your idea of God? What one protection does God offer that Satan cannot? Why is this, as L’Engle says, “the only protection worth having”?
7. Do you believe that God allows harm so that he can bring blessing, or that he uses harm to bring blessing? What is the difference between these two ideas? Why is the difference important?
8. “Perfection of virtue is not required of me. Perfection of love is, and
that is a very different thing.” What is perfection of love? How do we perfect love in our lives?
A Stone for a Pillow Page 23
