by Andre Dubus
The Lieutenant
Andre Dubus
FOR PAT
she steered well
My thanks to the Writers’ Workshop
at the State University of Iowa,
and to Florence Unash.
An if we live, we live to tread on kings;
If die, brave death, when princes die with us!
KING HENRY IV, PART I
Contents
1
2
3
4
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7
A Biography of Andre Dubus
1
EVEN AFTER HE had been aboard for nearly six months Dan Tierney did not feel that he was part of the ship: an aircraft carrier, the USS Vanguard, which weighed seventy thousand tons and had a flight deck a thousand feet long. He viewed it with awe at times, but more often with scorn. He was a first lieutenant, executive officer of the Marine Detachment, and in his fourth year of service; he had come to the Vanguard from land, after a year’s tour he would return to land, and one of the only pleasures he drew from sea duty was the honor, the prestige, of being chosen to represent the Marine Corps aboard the largest ship in the Pacific. It was an enviable tour of duty for a young officer. Senior officers had assured him, again and again, that this tour would advance his career: he would profit, they told him, each time a promotion board studied his record, that chronological list of functions assigned him during his professional years.
Dan believed this was true, because seagoing Marines are considered elite: traditionally they are at least six feet tall, firm-muscled and sunburned, the kind who stare at you like your manhood’s conscience from recruiting posters. In the Vanguard Detachment there were short ones, and some who only needed to shave three or four times a week, and one or two with acne. And Dan himself was by no means six feet tall; he was three inches under that and slender (lean but hard, he thought, and it was true: he exercised daily); he had dark bright eyes, sometimes appearing black, and black hair which the officers’ barber cut very short each week.
If upon first reporting aboard he was somewhat disillusioned by several beardless or acned or puny Marines, he was soon cheered by what he recognized as the essence of his profession: their spirit. They reminded him of his college baseball team and, with a couple of exceptions, he loved them all. So besides the honor attached to his duty, he had that too: serving with troops he admired more than any he had ever known. He was proud of them, and loyal—the pride and loyalty becoming steadily more intense, sustaining him in loneliness and the frustration of sea duty spent largely below decks, among seemingly labyrinthine passageways where strange levers and pipes and switches confronted him daily with his own alienation—and once in a bar at Yokosuka a plump ensign had sung the “Marines’ Hymn” to the tune of “Clementine” and Dan had knocked him off his bar stool. The ensign rose quickly, angered even more by the cause of the blow than by the blow itself, but other officers had moved between them.
Midway through the Vanguard’s seven-month cruise in the Western Pacific, she pulled out of Yokosuka on a bright November day, leaving Dan’s commanding officer in the Naval hospital ashore. He was Captain Raymond Schneider, who had joined the Marines in 1947 when he was eighteen, and had gone into the Korean War as a corporal, a squad leader in an infantry platoon. He was commissioned during the war and now, in 1956, was in his tenth year of duty. Since he had led a squad and then a platoon in combat, he gave Dan the experience which he himself no longer needed: he stayed in the background and let Dan run the Detachment. Dan kept him informed daily, asked for advice and sometimes gave it, and after serving with Captain Schneider for only a month Dan looked on him as a father. He could never forget that while he had been a sophomore, breaking up with his first college girl friend, Captain Schneider had been a corporal in the Chosin Reservoir. Dan had missed the war: on the day it ended he had been a second lieutenant, firing on the rifle range at Quantico, Virginia.
On that first day at sea out of Yokosuka, Dan wrote to his girl in California. Sitting at the desk in his stateroom, he could hardly feel the motion of the sea, for the Vanguard was, to him, more like a hotel than a ship: air-conditioned, and it rarely dipped except those times when they had left the breakwater at San Francisco and once when they pulled out of Kobe to run from a typhoon. It had dipped a little then. And sometimes, making a sharp turn into the wind for planes, it shuddered a bit.
He told Khristy that Captain Schneider had a serious ear infection, was in the Naval hospital in Yokosuka where a specialist could treat him, and he would join the ship when it reached Iwakuni. This, Dan wrote her, meant that he would have command of the troops for the next two weeks at sea; for the first time in his career, all the responsibility would be his.
When eight bells sounded next morning, Dan was on his way to the Marine barracks (the Navy referred to their own living quarters as spaces, but the Marines stubbornly called theirs a barracks). The troops were finishing the morning clean-up, and as Dan went down the ladder someone called them to attention. He moved through them, toward his office, and told them to carry on.
The barracks was two large rooms: a long one which they used for a classroom, containing the Corporal of the Guard’s desk, rifles stored in racks along two bulkheads and, in stands centered at one side of the room, American and Marine Corps flags. The other room was the berthing area; it was separated from the classroom by a bulkhead with a doorless curtained entrance. Dan’s office was at one side of the classroom and, adjacent to the office, was the First Sergeant’s stateroom. The office was small, had three desks, and four standing people would crowd it. First Sergeant Tolleson was drinking coffee at his desk; he rose—a man of Dan’s height, slender and paunchless after nineteen and a half years of service—and told Dan good morning, then said:
“Unit punishment sheet’s on the Lieutenant’s desk.”
Dan picked it up: in a short paragraph written in language taken from an example in the Manual for Courts-Martial it told that Private First Class Theodore C. Freeman had been disrespectful to a corporal during the morning cleanup: . . . on or about 14 November 1956 use disrespectful language to Corporal Bradley R. McKITTRICK 1464203
USMC, to wit, “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Mac” or words to that effect.
“What the hell got into Freeman?” Dan said.
“Well, sir, I guess he figures the Captain’s orderly don’t have to buff the decks.”
“Maybe. Was McKittrick harassing him?”
“No sir, I don’t think so. McKittrick’s a corporal irregardless, sir.”
Dan nodded and read the unit punishment sheet again. Pfc Freeman was one of those who had to shave only every other day and he could use an electric razor for that. He was very slender, had an almost girlishly pretty face, and the troops often teased him, calling him Teddy-Baby; but he was a conscientious sentry, he wore the uniform well and, Dan recalled, he was an expert rifleman. Above all, he had spirit and pride and he had told Dan in a counseling interview that he wasn’t sure whether he was a career Marine or not—sometimes he thought he’d like to be—but before he made up his mind he wanted to become a corporal and see what sort of NCO he would be. Because of that, Dan had made him an orderly for the Vanguard’s Captain. The duty was considered an honor. Dan knew that Freeman was a parade field Marine, and could probably be a competent seagoing NCO; but it was doubtful that Freeman would ever have the drive required of an infantry leader. Still, Dan hoped that by assuming shipboard responsibilities, Freeman could gain some of those tougher qualities he lacked.
This was Freeman’s first official offense and Dan was disappointed; but he was also relieved because the case was a simple one, and he repeated the old joke:
�
�Let the wheels of justice begin to spin; bring the guilty bastard in.”
Tolleson grinned.
“Aye aye, sir,” he said, and went out.
Dan sat at his desk and opened the Manual for Courts-Martial to Article Thirty-one; Freeman marched in and reported in a high, tense voice and stood at attention; First Sergeant Tolleson stood at ease behind him, and the office door was closed. Dan knew the troops would be listening from the classroom benches on the other side of the door. This was his first office hours in three and a half years of service and he didn’t know if the troops were aware of that, but he thought they probably were, and he was nervous.
It was the performance that bothered him. There were several ways to handle office hours: you could try to be understanding and therapeutic; or you could be as detached as a civil judge; or you could try to scare them. Dan preferred the last; he thought that a man sent to his commanding officer should go through an experience which would send him fearfully and rapidly back to an obedient way of life. And the Marines sitting in guard school should resolve never to do anything that would bring them before Lieutenant Tierney’s desk.
So he was preparing himself for the performance, not the sentence. There were only four sentences he could give at office hours: two weeks’ restriction to the barracks (a meaningless punishment at sea); two weeks of extra duty; seven days of confinement in the brig; or, because they were on a ship, the only place in the armed forces where this punishment was still used, three days in the brig on bread and water. That was the sentence he had chosen when he first read the unit punishment sheet. Bread-and- water had an aura of the old and traditional. He had heard about it from Staff NCO’s when they spoke of the days before military justice had been revised (and ruined, they believed), the days when any company commander, on land or sea, could put a man on bread and water:—had a CO once, any time a shadow passed his door he locked him up—those days, you went to see the Old Man, you brought your shaving gear with you ’cause you knew you wasn’t coming back—Hearing these stories he had always thought of the Old Corps when officers wore Sam Browne belts and riding boots and carried swagger sticks. Only the swagger sticks had remained and now the new Commandant had publicly belittled them and you didn’t see them anymore; Dan carried his, though. He was afraid the Corps might evolve into something totally different from his concept of it: already it had jet planes (he didn’t mind propeller planes; he recalled that Lieutenant Cunningham was the first Marine pilot; that Marines had first used dive-bombing in the Banana Wars) and missiles and technicians and administrators who hadn’t worn a haversack in years; in the face of this, no tradition should be allowed to die—if the swagger stick went, the blue uniform might go next and Lord knew what would follow.
Now, looking up at Freeman, he had already forgotten the insult to Corporal McKittrick and was ready to avenge those honored and colorful dead of past wars and skirmishes and musketry from wooden ships.
He read Article Thirty-one aloud.
“That means you don’t have to say anything that might incriminate you. Do you understand that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“All right. Initial here.”
Dan turned the unit punishment sheet toward him and started to give him a ballpoint pen but stopped, for it was a blue one and official documents had to be signed in black ink. He opened his drawer, got a black one, and handed it to Freeman, the pen for an instant joining their hands. Leaning over, Freeman slowly wrote his initials in the place Dan had shown him; then he stood at attention again and Dan read the charge aloud.
“Is it true?” Dan said.
“Yes, sir.”
“Why?”
“Sir?”
“Why is it true? What gave you the idea you could talk back to one of my corporals?”
“No excuse, sir.”
Dan paused, looking at him: Freeman’s fists were clenched at his sides, his jaws pressed together, and his eyes stared blinking at the bulkhead. Dan watched his eyes: sometimes you raised your voice at a Marine and his eyes were suddenly angry or sullen or hating, but Freeman’s eyes—seeming younger than ever now—were as fearful as a child’s, and the anger which Dan had so recently generated began to fade. He quickly reminded himself that the Marine Detachment was the only truly disciplined unit on the ship.
“Is that all you’ve got to say? No excuse?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well you’re Goddamn right about that, lad. You’re a United States Marine. You know what that means? It means discipline, it means devotion to duty, it means you do as you’re Goddamn told. Do you know that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then act like it, Goddammit. You told me you wanted to be a corporal, didn’t you! Well how in the hell are you going to be a corporal if you can’t be a Pfc! Can you answer me that?”
“No, sir.”
“You can’t. Well neither can I, Freeman. You figure that one out. You go down to that brig for three days and eat bread and water and you think about it. You think about what made you join the only military organization in the United States. You figure out why you wanted to be with the best. And you better come out of there squared away.”
“Yes, sir.”
“One other thing, Freeman. I made you the Captain’s orderly, didn’t I. And there’s maybe twenty Marines out there who want that job. No night watches. Prestige. Helps you get promoted around here. You want to keep that job?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then don’t let me down again, Freeman. Now get out of here.”
For an instant Freeman stood stiffly; then he about-faced and marched toward the door; Tolleson opened it for him and followed him out. Dan went to the door.
The troops were crowded onto benches in the classroom, pretending to listen to a corporal who was explaining the special orders for each post. Some looked furtively at Dan or turned to glance at Freeman standing at the Corporal of the Guard’s desk at the rear of the classroom: he stood at parade rest, staring at the bulkhead inches from his face. Tolleson was talking to the Corporal of the Guard, who nodded and rose and went through the curtains into the berthing area. He came back with a Marine wearing a duty belt and carrying a nightstick. He was a prisoner chaser and he would take Freeman to the brig.
Dan smoked a cigarette, giving the chaser time to get Freeman out of the barracks, then he went through the classroom, into the berthing area, and inspected the bunks and deck. He stopped at Freeman’s bunk. It was an upper bunk and on a shelf at its foot was an eight-by-ten photograph of his girl. Her hair was long and a wave fell over her forehead above her right eye; it was red hair, though it looked brown in the picture. Dan knew this because Tolleson had told him; Tolleson had also told him that she had a job in Oakland and Freeman was sleeping with her. Ever since learning that, Dan had always stopped to look at her picture.
She knew how to pose. At the instant the picture was taken, she must have been thinking of Freeman—or whomever she originally took the picture for—and you could not look at her face without believing in her fidelity and promise, and when Dan turned from the picture he desperately wanted a woman to look at him that way, to speak to him, and he hoped the mail plane would come soon and there would be a long letter from Khristy; he would not even open it until he was in his stateroom, where he would be alone. For three and a half months now, he had been faithful to Khristy.
He finished inspecting the berthing area and the head, then went back through the classroom to his office. Pfc Burns, the clerk, was there now; Tolleson was helping him with the morning report.
“I’m going to see the Captain,” Dan said, “and tell him about Freeman.”
“Aye sir. Did the Lieutenant have a good time on the beach?”
“Fair.”
Tolleson grinned.
“I believe I saw the Lieutenant walking down Thieves Alley with what appeared to be one of them little Jo-sans. Maybe a week ago, sir.”
“Me?”
Dan blushed
and Burns grinned at him, then went back to his typing.
“Yes, sir. I believe she’s employed at the Bar Montana.”
“Oh: that girl. She was helping me buy a kimono. For my Stateside girl, First Sergeant.”
“I see, sir.” He grinned and sipped his coffee. “I’m glad to see the Lieutenant buying presents for the ladies back home.”
“You should try it, First Sergeant. It’s good for the soul.”
“Yessir, I guess it is. My old lady thinks so anyway.”
Dan was still smiling as he climbed the ladder. Tolleson was the only Staff NCO he had ever been successfully friendly with. As a platoon commander at Camp Pendleton he had, on long field problems or landing exercises, given in to the need for companionship. He had done this with two different platoon sergeants and each time he had regretted it. For he found that when he lowered the barriers of rank, he let in subtle but definite problems: it became harder for him to give orders—especially the distasteful ones, the ones which came from his superiors and which he had to relay as his own—and his orders were sometimes questioned. Then he would become uncertain and on some days he would feel that everything he did was wrong, that he was a totally incompetent misfit. By nature he was not a man who exuded strength and dignity (as Captain Schneider was, drunk or sober, laughing or angry) and he knew that. He often cursed himself, told himself that he was nothing but a frisky puppy in a world of serious men and he would never be a general or a colonel if he didn’t learn to maintain the position of his rank and exercise his authority from that fragile height. He supposed many officers were like that, and it was one of the reasons they said a commander was the loneliest man in the world. He was prepared to believe that.
But First Sergeant Tolleson was different. Dan was able to talk with him, had even drunk with him a few times, and their professional relationship remained unharmed. It was not Dan, though, but Tolleson who protected that relationship. On the nights when they got tight in Japanese bars, Tolleson always managed to make Dan feel that he was an intelligent and respected officer. Dan remembered one night when they had sat in a bar for hours, drinking Japanese beer and talking about the Detachment; when they left they were drunk, walking stiffly down the sidewalk, Tolleson on Dan’s left. They got a taxi to the Vanguard and Tolleson still addressed him in the third person and saluted him good night as Dan turned to the officers’ brow and Tolleson went aft to board the ship at the enlisted brow.
