by Kim Law
“I needed to make sure no one like Celeste Kavanaugh stole you away from us,” she told Kayla. Not that she thought Celeste would try, but someone could — and Seaglass needed Kayla.
“Like Ms. Kavanaugh stood a chance.”
They grinned at each other across the table, then both dipped their heads and sucked tequila up through their straws. Andie blinked at the brain freeze and did a little pucker for the tanginess. Then she went back for more. She made a mean frozen margarita.
Kayla swiped salt from the rim of the glass and licked it off her finger. Her grin got a little wider. Good tequila worked fast.
And apparently two people did make a party.
They giggled together as they continued working on the drink, warmth heating Andie with every sip, but a few minutes later the ever-studious Kayla pulled her spreadsheets back in front of her.
“We don’t have anyone arriving until Thursday for next weekend’s wedding, but they have a lot going on. We haven’t worked out which events you’ll be handling and which ones I will.”
She shoved the page over so Andie could see it, but Andie held her hands aloft. “Talk to my mom. She’s not going to learn until she does it.”
“Come on, Andie. You can’t just drop out that fast. I need you.”
The sentence struck Andie as odd. She’d felt for a long time that Kayla was the backbone of the business, but it was nice to know she was needed, too. She nodded. Of course she wouldn’t just leave the two of them in the lurch. “I’ll help out with whatever Mom’s in charge of, but I want you to work out the details with her. You’re far better at this than I am. You love it more. After this weekend, though, I’m considering a long vacation. Maybe Australia. I’m thinking snow.”
She wanted to get away in hopes of having a minute or two when she didn’t think about Mark. Of course, sitting alone somewhere would probably only make it worse. But getting away would give her time to think about her life in general.
And Mark.
And how much she missed Mark.
She sighed. “I’m also going to be spending more time working at the bar,” she told Kayla.
Though she was still trying to figure out just what she wanted to do with her life, she did know that what she enjoyed most was being around people. And not necessarily high-strung brides and bridesmaids. She’d leave that work to her aunt, her mother, and Kayla. She was going to find other ways to be successful.
Offering more classes at the senior center was another option. Granted, it didn’t feel like a big, successful career, but it was needed. And she enjoyed spending time with the older residents.
Maybe she’d get into charity work, too. She was good at coming up with ideas, and putting together the right team of people to make things happen. Possibly Seaglass could eventually expand into handling charity events.
All were good ideas. Even if she did still feel her path was a little “less” than what her mother might expect from her. She’d come to grips with the fact she wasn’t her mother. And she’d come to grips with the fact her mother didn’t seem to care.
Though it was all still very odd, and still made her pause on occasion.
Now if she would just quit crying herself to sleep every night.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
At least you haven’t lost your touch in the courtroom.”
Mark looked up from his open briefcase to find Gray standing on the other side of the counsel table. They’d been on opposing sides today, and Gray’s team had not come out the winner.
“I’ve got what it takes, I guess,” Mark muttered. He returned to shoving folders inside the case, ignoring Gray. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Hadn’t been all week.
It was Thursday afternoon, and he still had four days’ worth of work to do before the weekend. That’s what happened when one took almost two weeks off, he supposed.
Which, of course, made him think of Andie. Again.
She’d pretty much been top of his mind since he’d walked out of Whitmore Mansion five days ago with little more than a stilted good-bye.
The wedding had gotten canceled. Kayla had organized travel plans to get everyone out of there. Some had stayed for the weekend.
Mark hadn’t seen the point.
Andie had told him no. And then she’d walked away. She didn’t want him. She wanted her business more. Just like always. Only this time she was blaming it on him and some trumped-up excuse that what had happened with Tiffany played some sort of role in his life.
It continued to piss him off every time he thought about it.
“Want to grab a drink?” Gray asked.
“No.”
Mark snapped the locks on his case and grabbed the handle. Everyone had filed out of the courtroom. Only he and Gray remained. He was normally one of the first out, but not lately. Lately he sat around and spent every spare minute thinking about Andie.
Damn it!
He’d gone down to Turtle Island for closure. And he supposed he’d gotten it. He just hadn’t expected it to involve having his heart handed to him on a platter.
How could she just say no? He’d given her the ring she’d wanted. He loved her. She loved him. They were great together. He could offer her the world.
What in the hell was the problem?
He started down the aisle, and Gray fell into step beside him. She’d said she wouldn’t throw her life away by coming to Boston with him.
“Go away, McTavish,” he growled. She wouldn’t be throwing her life away!
Gray chuckled. “You’re a breath of sunshine aren’t you?”
The word sunshine made Mark think of Andie. He gritted his teeth.
He slammed his palm flat against the wooden door, and it swung open with a crash. “And you’re a wiseass.”
He supposed he should be grateful Gray wasn’t the kind of friend who would make a move on Andie when Mark’s back was turned. As Rob had apparently done four years ago when he’d gone to the church to cancel the wedding. What the hell had that been about? He’d offered to give her a “good time”? If Mark had found Rob before they’d whisked him away Saturday, he would have put another fist in his face.
What he should do was catch a flight to Chicago and kick his ass now. Andie didn’t deserve being treated that way.
“At least I’m not an idiot,” Gray said. His cavalier tone pissed Mark off.
Mark turned, aware they now stood in the hallway of the courthouse where they could easily be overheard by anyone walking by. “I’m sure you’d like to rephrase that,” he suggested, his tone clear that his buddy needed to back off.
Gray scratched at the underside of his chin, making a face as if thinking it through. “Nope,” he said, shaking his head. “No rephrasing. You’re an idiot. What in the hell happened down there?”
“None of your business.” Mark walked away.
“She spent all day Sunday crying.”
Mark stopped. He silently counted to five, telling himself the whole time he didn’t care. It was her own fault she’d had anything to cry over. “How would you know?” He kept his voice low and steady but did not look at Gray.
He’d asked Andie to marry him. He’d darn near begged her to. She shouldn’t have been the one upset.
“I didn’t leave until late Sunday night,” Gray said. “Roni filled me in.”
The sight of Andie standing in Mark’s cabin Friday night, telling him he was afraid to take on the responsibility of a family, flashed through his head like a disco ball spinning in a nightclub. Did she really think he would balk on her again?
He could hear her as if she were standing right there. “I am not your responsibility.”
“You hurt me.” “You took advantage of me.” “You thought you were more important.”
He hadn’t.
He didn’t.
Did he?
“I will not toss away my life and head on up to Boston.”
“I have a family, too.”
“I’m not going
to walk away from them when they need me.”
Mark shook his head, trying to shake Andie free, then walked back into the empty courtroom. Gray followed.
“How did you just let her walk away, man?” Gray asked when the door closed behind him. His voice changed from smart-ass to concerned friend. “She’s the best damned thing to ever happen to you. And you lost her twice.”
“I need more from you, Mark.”
“Or I need nothing.”
What did she want?
He had no idea.
Looking at Gray, Mark wasn’t sure what to say, but he felt certain of one thing. “She wants something else.”
That’s why he hadn’t gone after her Friday night. Deep down he knew he could never give her what she wanted.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Rain threatened the late-afternoon sky as Andie bent her knees and tucked into position, ready to snap the football on Hunter’s call.
“Blue forty-two!” the kid yelled.
Andie watched the group of boys and girls across from her waiting to charge. They were local kids, ranging from ages eight to thirteen. All regulars for the Sunday pickup games there on the beach. Andie showed up whenever she could, and Roni and Ginger had even started joining them.
“Blue forty-two!”
She looked to the side where Maggie stood, their lone cheerleader, and winked at the little girl. Maggie giggled and raised a bedraggled blue-and-white pom-pom in the air.
“Hut!”
Sixteen people scrambled as Andie passed the ball between her legs.
She blocked as best she could, then took off down the beach as the football went sailing overhead. It shot toward one of the older kids. Hunter was no idiot. He knew who stood a chance at scoring.
A streak of pink flashed to Andie’s right, and she saw Ginger charging on the kid, her hand outstretched so she could grab the flag if she caught him.
“Go! Go! Go!” Maggie jumped up and down, arms and legs flailing. It didn’t matter who had the ball — she cheered for everyone. It was one of the most beautiful things about young kids. They were exuberant about everything.
It made Andie wonder when that kind of enjoyment started to fade. When did kids begin to grasp the reality of life and that everything wasn’t always happy?
And then she thought of Mark again, and her throat clogged up with tears.
Dang, it had been over a week now. When was it going to stop hurting, even just a little?
She hadn’t talked to Mark at all. Nor had she expected to. She’d made herself clear. She couldn’t do what he was asking. He couldn’t promise forever. She wouldn’t put her life on hold to wait and see how things between them turned out.
And anyway, she still didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself.
Life had been mostly good this past week. Her mother had moved into her own room in the house, and the two of them and Aunt Ginny had been getting along really well. Andie had even insisted that her mother take the ankle bracelet back. After all, it represented the bond between her and her sister. Cassie had begun wearing it every day, same as Aunt Ginny.
Andie had kept the sea turtle charm Mark had given her, though, and had stupidly put it on a necklace she currently had around her neck. She’d bought a long chain so it hung down between her breasts, hiding from everyone, but she also wore it every day.
Mark may be out of her life, but she wasn’t quite ready to let him go.
She would get there. She had to. But she was giving herself permission to take her time.
At least this time she knew why they couldn’t work.
“Andie?” Roni jogged up beside her. “Where’d you go?”
Andie looked around and realized everyone had gotten back into position, yet she was standing several yards away, her mind in the clouds. Or more like, in Boston.
She started to return to the game, but suddenly couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to laugh and enjoy the afternoon. There was nothing inside her that felt joyous anymore. She shook her head as her throat tightened. This had to stop. She had to move on.
Instead of rejoining the game, she headed to the edge of the water. Roni yelled for them to continue without them and then followed along with her.
“You okay?” she asked as they separated from the group.
Andie shook her head again. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be okay.
They reached the edge of the water and stopped, letting the waves touch their bare feet. A gray cloud moved overhead, and Andie tilted her head back, watching it, wondering if she would ever have any answers. Was she going to go through her whole life like her mother, living but knowing she was just out of reach of…something?
“I’m not happy,” she finally admitted to her friend. A sigh leaked from her chest, and she repeated the words, more slowly this time, “I’m not happy.”
Roni slipped an arm through hers and lightly squeezed. “I know, hon. Not deep down, you aren’t. You haven’t been in years.”
Andie looked at her friend and thought back over the twenty-one years they’d known each other. They used to have the best times there in the summers. They were twelve when they made the pact that they would all someday live on the island. At the time only Ginger was a permanent resident. Andie smiled. Now they all were. Other than during those innocent early years, she’d never believed it would happen.
“I was happy when we were kids,” she confided.
Roni nodded. “You were.”
“And during part of my college and graduate years,” Andie added. “I loved being in school.” She just hadn’t loved the thought of getting out of school and having to prove herself to her mother.
“You were always the smart one.”
Andie laughed. She’d never thought of herself that way, but that’s what she and her two friends had always said as kids. She was the smart one, Roni the musical one, and Ginger the homemaker. From an early age Ginger had wanted a husband and kids. And now she ran her dad’s business all by herself, and Andie had never seen her happier.
She studied Roni.
Roni was hiding secrets herself, but Andie hadn’t pushed her. Something had happened to send her back here. Yet generally speaking, Roni was happy, too.
It was only Andie who had an issue.
They turned the opposite direction from the football game and began slowly walking along the shore.
“I’m going to start babysitting the wedding kids more,”Andie said. Since she was stepping away from the day-to-day activities of the company, she’d offered to take on more of the responsibility to watch after guests’ children. It would save Seaglass money they’d otherwise spend hiring sitters.
Plus, she enjoyed it.
“That’s good, sweetie.” Roni nestled her head on Andie’s shoulder as they walked. “What else?”
“What do you mean?”
“You like to fill your hours when you’re searching for answers. What else do you have lined up?”
Andie laughed again. Her friend did know her well. “I signed up to teach another class at the senior center. And I talked to the historical society. I’m thinking maybe Seaglass can partner with them for a fund-raiser.”
“That sounds good.”
They turned around and splashed back the way they’d come. Andie knew what was going on with the impromptu questions. Roni was helping her work through the madness inside her head.
Roni, Ginger, and Andie had gotten together several times over the past week just to talk. About Mark, about life in general. About her mother and how everything there seemed to be magically falling into place.
But her friends hadn’t pushed her. They’d merely let her be. Ready to be there for her when she fell. Because Andie knew she would fall. She might have had a good cry that first weekend, but she hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. She couldn’t start climbing out of the hole until she hit bottom.
“What do you enjoy doing?” Roni asked.
The question caught Andie off guard. “I lik
e kids. I like volunteering. I like making a difference. I just…I want to take care of people.”
Andie grew quiet as a realization began to dawn.
What she wanted to do was take care of people.
Kids.
A husband?
She swallowed against a lump in her throat.
Mark?
A pain the weight of a semi pushed into her chest as she fought for a deep breath. She wanted to take care of kids and a husband.
After all this time, and all those fights, this was what she wanted?
She glanced at Hunter and Maggie, at the other children running around the sand, shouting out to one another, and she smiled. She began to breathe faster and tears started trickling from her eyes. That was what she wanted.
Toss in some volunteer work, maybe help out with a charity or two, and she would be content. She would thrive. She would be happy.
Andie knew it as deeply as she knew she wasn’t going to get over Mark.
She’d fought the exact thing she wanted because it had seemed beneath her. She was supposed to be like her mother, supposed to be somebody. Have a career.
Yet that hadn’t made her happy.
Heck, it hadn’t made her mother happy, either.
Though her mother was already happy here, working with Seaglass. That had become clear the instant she’d started helping last week. She was a force. And she and Kayla would make an exceptional team.
And Andie wanted to be a wife and mother.
She wanted Mark.
She dropped to her knees and let the water roll up over her hips as more tears came.
“Oh, Roni,” she whimpered.
Roni dropped beside her. Ginger appeared from nowhere and settled in on Andie’s other side.
Soon the three friends were soaking wet, with their arms woven together.
“I love him,” Andie admitted.
“I know.” Ginger murmured. She stroked Andie’s hair and cooed softly.
“You did before he ever showed up here,” Roni added.
“But I pushed him away. I turned down his proposal.”
