by Penny Wylder
“And I don’t know what to do because they’ve known each other forever,” I add, sighing, “So it could get weird—”
“Wait, wait, they know each other?” Nita raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah, they grew up together, and they’re both on the lacrosse team—”
“Oh my god, you like two best friends?”
I bite my lip, stare down the camera.
Nita reaches out to wrap her hands around either side of the screen, pretending to strangle me.
“I didn’t mean to!” I protest.
I think I might have broken Nita. She doubles over for a minute, and I can’t tell if she’s hyperventilating or what.
“Hello? Need some advice here!” I admonish her.
When she straightens again, I realize she’s been doubled over with laughter. She wipes tears from her eyes, still shaking with silent giggle fits.
“It’s not that funny,” I huff.
“Yes, it definitely is, Cass.” She breathes in deeply, rubbing her eyes. “Shit. Ah, okay. That is more complicated, yes.” She shakes her head, studying me. “Look, Cass, it’s only the start of the semester. Give it some time. See which of the hot guys drooling after you you prefer more.” She sticks out her tongue. “Which, by the way, cry me a river.”
I snort, unable to help myself.
“But honestly, if you really want to do this, you just have to go for whichever one you like more. Just be real with them. They’ll understand. Especially if they’ve known each other forever and have similar taste in girls. I’m sure they’ve run into this situation before.”
You have no idea, I think, my lips firmly clamped shut while I nod. It’s good advice. Figure out which one I like best. Except, I don’t know either of them super well yet. From what I can tell, if I met either Vin or Anthony in another situation, I’d have liked them instantly. I can’t tell who I like more, because I like them both, at least from what I’ve seen so far.
But also… That’s kind of beyond the point. Because the boys don’t want me just for one of them. They want a ménage-à-trois. From a girl they don’t even know is a virgin. I’ve never slept with one guy, let alone two at once.
How could I possibly let this happen? How could I even be considering it?
And yet, Vin’s words echo in my mind, too. You have no clue what you would do in the heat of the moment.
I really, really don’t.
“Thanks, Nita, that helps,” I say, even though my mind is still racing, jam-packed with a confusing jumble of thoughts.
After I hang up and head back to the room, my stomach twisting itself into knots as I worry about possibly finding Anthony there, or Vin half-naked instead, or even more terrifying, both at once.
But when I creak open the door to our room, it’s dark and quiet. Only when I flick on the light do I see the book on top of my bed. The newest Jeanette Winterson, one I haven’t read yet, the pages white and the spine unbroken. Brand new. From Anthony, I’m sure.
I sit on the bed and hold the book in my lap, tracing the cover as I try to wrap my mind around this mess I’m tangled up in.
Four
The guys’ first lacrosse game of the season is that Friday. I finish my homework in time since I promised myself I would only go if I got that out of the way first. Then I dress in the sportiest outfit I have—basically the one school sweatshirt I own, paired with tight jeans and some boots since it’s finally fall for real.
I sit with a couple of girls I met in Chemistry, who seem nice enough, though we haven’t really talked about anything except for comparing notes after class and complaining about how fast our prof speeds through the slides.
As soon as the lacrosse game starts, though, I forget all about the girls beside me. I have eyes only for the field—and specifically, for numbers 9 and 11 on said field, one blond and one dark-haired, both sprinting every which way as they compete with the opposing team. They’re clearly two of the best on our team—constantly taking passes from other players and racing ahead of the pack down the field. When Anthony nears the net, I find myself on my feet cheering with only the most involved of our spectators.
Then Anthony whirls at the last second, faking out the goalkeeper, who dives to block him. But he wasn’t aiming for the net. He threw the ball high, in a graceful arc to Vin, who seems to catch it without even looking, and in a whip-fast move, hurls it toward the goal instead. It sinks into the back of the net, and the opposing goalkeeper curses as the boys whirl away to high-five before they’re buried in a crush of their teammates celebrating.
The way they work together, seamlessly mirroring one another, racing up and down the field, is beautiful to watch. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that their muscular arms are on display in their short-sleeved jerseys. I could watch them play this game all day.
But before I know it, they race toward another goal—Vin passing to Anthony this time, who fires a speed-shot past the goalie’s head into the net, a tie point just in time—and the game is over. We won.
I’m still sitting in the stands watching, mouth slightly ajar, when one of the Chem class girls nudges me.
“Aren’t you coming to celebrate?” she asks.
That’s when I notice the flood of people jumping the fence and racing onto the field, chanting. Most of the girls make beelines for either Vin or Anthony, and pretty soon, the guys disappear in a sea of cheering women.
My stomach tightens at the sight, and I feel vaguely nauseous watching all of those beautiful, hot ladies high-fiving Vin or grabbing Anthony in hugs. I’m too far away to make out their faces, to see if they’re enjoying this attention, but how could they not be? Those girls are all hot as hell. Vin and Anthony could have their pick, anyone they wanted.
So why me?
With a start, I realize that I’m actually jealous. Of both of them. What is wrong with me?
I shove out of the stands and hurry down the bleachers, though not toward the field. I need to get out of here. I did my duty, came and supported my roommates in their game. Now I need some air. And to not watch them get hit on anymore.
But before I can make it to the exit of the stadium, I hear my name being shouted. I turn around to find both Vin and Anthony jogging toward me, the crowd abandoned behind them. I catch more than a few glimpses of girls pouting as they leave, though the girls pretty quickly turn toward the guys’ teammates instead.
I linger at the fence dividing the stands from the playing field as the guys skid to a halt on the other side.
“You came!” Anthony says, his voice bright and a little too surprised.
“Of course I did.” I bite my lip, glancing between them. “I wouldn’t miss your first game of the season.”
“How did you like it?” Vin asks, eying me carefully.
“It was…” I shrug, breaking into a smile. “Really impressive, actually. Where the heck did you guys learn how to play like that? You’re so fast…”
They both break into grins. It’s funny when they look so dissimilar otherwise, but somehow their smiles are exactly alike. Bright and open and completely addictive.
“Practice,” Anthony says.
“Lots and lots of practice,” Vin adds.
“Well, it definitely shows. Great game.” I hesitate, not sure if I should offer a high-five or a hug. Would that be weird?
Vin reaches across the barrier to rest a hand on my shoulder, removing any sense of awkward tension. His hand feels warm against my arm, the pressure reassuring. “What are you up to now?” he asks, and I know I should leave, get myself out of this situation, but when I gaze up into his dark, sincere eyes, all I can say is,
“Absolutely nothing.”
Anthony beams. “Great. Let’s grab dinner. As soon as we get changed.” He hops the fence and reaches over to squeeze me in a quick hug. Not long enough to mean anything, but definitely long enough for me to feel like my whole body is catching on fire, exploding with tingles from the brief but close contact.
“Meet you b
y the gym exit?” Vin adds, joining Anthony on this side of the fence. He doesn’t go for a hug, just brushes my arm lightly, and yet somehow that lingering, faint touch makes me burn just as hot.
I can’t handle these two. Not individually, let alone together. I’m a virgin, for Christ’s sake. I don’t know how to do this. But I feel myself smile, my body reacting before my brain can get a word in edgewise. “Sounds great,” I say, and with those two words, I seal my fate.
My stomach won’t stop fluttering as we settle into a booth at the nearest diner. Vin sits across from me, his legs stretched beneath the table, touching either side of mine. Anthony, on the other hand, plops down right next to me in the booth, sliding closer until his arm brushes against mine. Between the two of them, I feel like I’m about to catch fire—and part of me, a part I don’t want to admit existing, loves that sensation.
“What’s your poison?” Vin asks, menu propped in front of him, though his dark eyes are on me as he speaks. In fact, they almost never seem to leave my face. And I don’t need to turn my head to feel Anthony watching me just as intensely.
“Whatever you guys are having sounds good,” I reply, flushing as I study my own menu, just for an excuse to look elsewhere.
Anthony orders for all of us, burgers and fries and milkshakes. “Vanilla for me, chocolate for these two,” he tells her, pointing over his shoulder at Vin and me.
“How do you know I didn’t want vanilla?” I ask him as the waitress leaves our table.
He smirks. “You don’t seem like you have very vanilla tastes, considering.” His arm nudges mine, and my belly tightens, a shiver of anticipation racing through my body.
“That’s presumptuous of you,” I respond, trying to cover up the way my heart is racing and my panties already feel wet. I squeeze my thighs together, willing myself to ignore the sensation. But that’s impossible when I’m pressed into this booth, sandwiched between two of the hottest guys I’ve ever met. Guys who both want me. Who want to share me.
“Am I wrong?” he counters, one eyebrow raised.
I bite my lip.
Vin laughs. “I’d say that’s a no.”
“I like chocolate, okay?” I roll my eyes, trying to grin. Trying to act normal.
As dinner progresses though, I find it surprisingly easy to do. Aside from the constant sparks in my nerve endings every time Anthony reaches across me for the napkins, taking care to let his arm brush my chest, or when Vin catches my feet under the table and runs his leg along mine, it’s actually pretty easy to chat with the guys. We talk about the book series Anthony is reading now, another one I’ve been meaning to start.
When Vin makes a quick bathroom run, Anthony asks me if I started reading the book he loaned me yet. I’m almost embarrassed to tell him, but I admit it, cheeks burning. “I already read the whole thing,” I say. Once I started, I couldn’t stop—I snuck it into classes, read it under the desk, sped through the last pages at dinner.
His smile widens, bright and open. “I knew you’d love it. It reminded me of you.”
I swallow hard, thinking of the last few chapters. The heroine in the book did remind me of myself, almost embarrassingly so. She was a 1940s war-time doctor, fighting against stereotypes about women only being nurses at the time. And yet, when she fell for one of the majors she was treating, it didn’t read like a cliché or a dumb plot hook. It felt real, the way the author described their slow-budding romance… And then the sex they had later, only a thin curtain separating them from the real world, and all the people out there waiting to judge them for what they wanted.
I think again of Vin and Anthony, having both of them at once, and I feel just like that doctor must have. Torn with desire, longing for something society wouldn’t want me to have.
“I love the way the heroine eventually defies expectations,” Anthony is saying, eyes boring into mine. “The way she just decides not to care about what others think anymore, and fight for who she wants.”
I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry.
But then, luckily, Vin returns, and we shift topics to bio class, an easier subject. Anthony keeps watching me, though, his eyes too piercing, too knowing. I feel like he understands me after sharing that book, and it scares me how much I enjoy that feeling.
We talk about the game eventually, too.
“You guys were incredible,” I gush. “Just the way you move together, like you already know what each other are thinking, where you’re going to be at any given second…”
“We do,” they reply in unison, and we all laugh at that.
“But really,” Vin adds, “It’s all just a matter of keeping your eye on the goal. Taking advantage of opportunities as they arise…” His legs shift under the table to trap one of my legs between them. His calves are bare, and warm against my skin.
“And never losing sight of what you really want,” Anthony adds, his finger trailing up my arm, tracing the outline of my bicep.
I shiver. “You know, it’s really not fair when you two team up on me.” I glance back and forth between them.
“Who said we play fair?” Vin asks with a little wriggle of his eyebrows.
I narrow my eyes and nudge his leg playfully. “Pretty sure that’s bad advice. Not playing fair when you’re trying to get a girl to like you.”
“Says who?” Anthony continues to trace my arm lightly, his fingertip setting my nerves on fire. My stomach tightens with desire, and I clench my thighs together tightly, trying to ignore the pulse of lust between my legs. “All’s fair in love and war.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Is this love or war, then?”
Vin tightens his legs around mine, trapping me between. “What do you think?” he asks, smirking.
“Bit of both?” I reply without thinking.
Both guys laugh, and Anthony wraps a warm, muscular arm around my shoulders. “We would never war with you,” he murmurs, and he’s so close to me, I can feel his warm breath on my cheek. My pulse skips a beat and my pussy clenches. It feels like there’s a heavy weight between my legs, my clit throbbing with every pound of my heart. His lips brush my cheek, not quite a kiss, but enough contact to set me off, breathing faster.
“It feels like I’m being tag-teamed, though,” I reply, maintaining just enough of my brainpower to speak. “You’re playing against me the way you played against that opposing team’s goalie.”
Vin leans forward, reaching across the table to wrap his hand around mine. His heat feels different from Anthony’s, more subtle. But his hands are just as strong, curled around mine, our fingers intertwining. “Is it working?” he asks, that little smirk still at the corner of his lips.
My blush is probably all the answer he needs. But I jut my chin higher and stare down at him, trying to regain some high ground, a leg to stand on. “What do you think?” I ask, one eyebrow lifted.
Anthony grins. “I think we should get out of here.”
I laugh, but I don’t disagree. Before I can even make an argument about splitting the check, Vin flags down the waitress and pays. I don’t even have time to reach for my wallet.
“Also not fair,” I complain as we step out of the restaurant into the cool fall evening air.
“What, we can’t treat our beautiful new roommate to dinner?” Anthony’s smile is all innocence, though his eyes betray him—they’re on fire when they meet mine, and he doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s checking me out, his eyes doing a slow crawl over my body. I shiver.
Vin sees, and wraps an arm around my shoulders, hugging me to his side. “Chilly?”
“A little,” I admit since I didn’t bring a real jacket, just a sweater for the game earlier.
Over my head, Vin shoots Anthony a look. Next thing I know, Anthony is pressed against my other side, sandwiching me between them, as he wraps his arm around me too. Between both guys’ warmth, I don’t feel the night air at all anymore. In fact, if anything, I’m too hot now, in danger of boiling over.
But my
brain isn’t directing the show anymore. I couldn’t pull myself away from the guys now if I wanted to—and I definitely don’t. Standing between them, I wrap my arms around their waists. My hands find the edge of Anthony’s hip, and the middle of Vin’s waist.
“Is that better?” Anthony asks. When I glance up, he’s looking at me with concern, his hand rubbing along my arm gently, tracing the outline of the goose bumps rising along my skin.
Little does he know, those aren’t from the cold. “Much better,” I say, unable to tear my gaze from his deep blue eyes.
That is until Vin leans against my other side and brushes a stray strand of hair from my forehead. His hand lingers against my cheek, and I find myself lost in his dark eyes next, the rest of the world seeming to fade away.
That feeling only increases when he leans in, slowly, slowly. I feel like I’m falling, but I don’t want to stop, so I let my eyes flutter closed as his lips touch mine. He kisses me long, softly, and even as Vin’s mouth is still on mine, I feel Anthony’s hands against my back, tracing my shoulders.
“Wait,” I protest faintly, glancing over my shoulder at the campus. But we’re far from the beaten path, shadowed in the trees, and Vin is kissing my cheek, my jaw, as Anthony keeps his hands moving over me.
“Relax,” Vin replies, his eyes following my gaze and lighting up with amusement. “Nobody walks this way.”
“Even if they do, they won’t stop to stare too long,” Anthony adds, before he kisses the nape of my neck, his lips tracing around, up my neck to that sensitive spot right below my ear. “All they’ll see is a guy and a girl entwined…”
I squirm, still torn, my heart beating way too fast from their touches, but also the faint, lingering fear of being seen.
“We can stop if you prefer,” Vin whispers against my lips, right before he leans in to kiss me again, harder this time.
“Don’t stop,” I gasp, surrendering completely. They’re right. Nobody ever walks this way. And even if they do, they would need to walk right up to this tree to tell what’s happening. To see that it’s me here, and not one but two guys…
