“I’m not—”
“It may be just what he needs,” Tanner went on, watching the riot of emotions play over her face. “I can’t get through to him. He just closes right up. But with you…”
“He’s a good kid.” But she still appeared undecided.
He had to convince her. For now, she was the only person he knew who might be able to help. Besides, he…No, he wouldn’t think of himself. Not right now.
“What kind of trade-off were you thinking of?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
“I have a feeling you’re thinking of something that has to do with horses.”
“It just might.”
She shook her head. “Think of something else.”
This wasn’t the time to argue or to ask what it was about horses and rodeos that she had a problem with. It was time to get her to agree. “Whatever you decide, as long as you say yes.”
She looked across the dance floor to where Shawn was talking to Beth’s fiancé. “Oh, Tanner, I just don’t know. From what I can tell, he’s a normal adolescent.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. All I’m asking is that you try.” If it meant that he would have to beg, he’d do it. Whatever it took to keep Shawn from running off like his daddy had. As nearly everyone in his family had. “Please.”
She hesitated for a moment, and then she nodded. “All right, I’ll talk to him, see if he’ll open up to me.”
A flood of relief swept over him. “That’s good enough for me.”
Later, when the crowd had begun to thin and a soft breeze cooled the night, he walked her home along the tree-lined, quiet streets to Beth’s house. At the door, she pulled a key from her pocket.
Behind her, he leaned down close to her ear. “Jules.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath as her hand froze at the lock. She turned to look up at him, and he took the key from her. Moving a step closer, he tipped her hat off her head, then placed his hands against the door on either side of her and leaned closer until her lips were no more than an inch from his.
“I’ve been dreaming of doing this since the first time I laid eyes on you with my hat in your hands,” he whispered.
“Doing what?” came out on a delicate sigh.
The sound of laughter drifted from close by.
He pulled away and silently cursed the distraction and then himself. A quick look into her wide eyes told him all he needed to know. “It seems the celebration is over,” he said, stepping back. “You’ll come out to the ranch tomorrow?”
“Make it Monday morning.”
Nodding, he reached for her hat at their feet and placed it on her head. After unlocking the door, he pressed the key into her hand, bid her good night and retreated.
The voices grew louder.
“Evening, Beth, Michael,” he said as they passed on the path, lined with fragrant bushes, to the house.
“Leaving already?” Beth asked.
He smiled. “Yep. It’s gonna be a long weekend.”
Chapter Four
“Your uncle asked me to speak with you.”
Shawn shifted in his chair and met her gaze. “Why?”
Sitting in the sunlit living room at the O’Brien ranch, Jules saw the wariness in Shawn’s eyes, along with the stubborn streak she’d seen in the parking lot two weeks before. Both were familiar to her, and she added a smile before answering, “I don’t know if your uncle told you, but I’m an attorney.”
“Oh, yeah?” His smile was almost a smirk, but not quite. “I knew you were smart.”
She felt the warmth of a blush and laughed to cover her embarrassment. “Yes, well, that’s not the point, but I can tell you that I studied a long time before I passed the bar. When I was about twelve, I saw how hard things were for some kids. I was lucky. I had parents who loved me and were able to provide me with the best, but it isn’t like that for many. I decided then that I’d find a way to help those who weren’t as fortunate as I was, so a few years later, I decided to become a lawyer and help that way. Now I work in the juvenile court, helping kids who’ve gotten into trouble or whose families aren’t able to take care of them.”
Shawn shrugged, but looked a bit uncomfortable. “I’m not in trouble, and I have a family. Uncle Tanner, Aunt Bridey, Rowdy. They’re my family.”
Although Jules had briefly met Rowdy while decorating for the Fourth of July celebration, she didn’t know his relationship to the family, only that he lived and worked on the ranch.
“Yes, and it’s clear they all care about you,” she replied, making a mental note to ask Tanner about Rowdy.
A sullen expression appeared on his face. “Sometimes.”
“Only sometimes?”
Another shrug, and he looked away.
It was clear from his body language that this wasn’t easy for him, but she hadn’t expected it to be. Boys tended to close themselves off and pretend everything was okay. Girls were sometimes easier to talk to, but most children and teens who were dealing with emotional issues tended to keep them locked inside. It had taken her months of patience and trial-and-error to get Joey Martin to open up to her, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the same with Shawn.
“Like when?” she asked.
“When I want to compete.”
Instead of answering, she waited for him to explain.
“You know, in a rodeo,” he said. “Uncle Tanner says school comes first, but school isn’t going to do me any good on the circuit.” He looked her square in the eye, as if waiting for her to side with his uncle.
“You don’t think school is important?”
“Well, sure, but other guys do both.”
“Other boys your age?”
“Yeah, some I go to school with. And others who…” He broke eye contact. “Who aren’t in school.”
“They dropped out?” When he nodded, she began to see the situation a little more clearly and understood why Tanner might be concerned. “Is that what you want to do?”
His shoulders went up and down a third time. “I don’t know.”
She had lost count of how many times she had seen children shrug, no matter their age or gender. With some, it was a sign they weren’t willing to talk. With others, it meant they didn’t know how to communicate their feelings. And the sharing of feelings with those who wanted to help was vitally important.
“So tell me about the ones who are in school,” she said, hoping to open the door to some real communication. “How do they manage to compete in rodeos during the school term?”
“They belong to NHSRA.” He looked at her and smiled, obviously knowing she didn’t understand what he was talking about. “National High School Rodeo Association.”
“I wasn’t aware there was such a thing,” she admitted. “Tell me about it.”
Shawn explained that it was an international organization for young men and women in high school who participated in or were interested in rodeo competition. He also told her that attending school was mandatory and members must keep passing grades in four subjects. Desperation High School also had a rodeo club, of which he was a member, but hadn’t attended meetings since before Christmas.
“Why not?” she asked.
“It’s kid stuff,” he said with yet another shrug.
Jules laughed softly. “I hope being in a club isn’t kid stuff, because I belong to several. We call them organizations, but it’s the same thing, where people who share a common interest or career get together. Isn’t your rodeo club like that?”
“Well, yeah,” he admitted.
“Aren’t the other members active in rodeo?”
“Sure they are, it’s just—” he shook his head “—I don’t know. I don’t hang around with the bunch at school. Uncle Tanner doesn’t like my other friends because they’re older than me. And, well, he’s afraid I’ll be like my dad and run away to travel the rodeo circuit.” He leaned forward, his blue-gray eyes bright with passion. “But when I ask him ab
out my dad, he doesn’t say much. And there’s stuff I want to know, but I know he won’t tell me.”
Jules was surprised. Tanner didn’t strike her as the type who wouldn’t answer his nephew’s questions, and answer them honestly. Not when he was so concerned about him. “He’s refused to answer something?”
“No,” Shawn said, shaking his head furiously. “But I just know he won’t.”
“Why do you think he won’t?”
“I…” He ducked his head, hiding his face. “I just do.”
Jules saw a classic teenager, unable to know how to ask and afraid if he did, the answers might not be something he would like or might turn his world upside down. She didn’t know what had happened with Shawn’s parents or why he wasn’t with them. But whatever it was, she didn’t think Tanner would keep that information from Shawn, especially if he was asked directly.
Sensing that Tanner wasn’t the complete problem, there was only one thing she could do. “Would you like me to talk to him?”
Shawn looked up at her, and she could see the battle raging within him. He was scared, she understood that. It wasn’t easy being a kid, especially those years from ten or twelve to as far as eighteen and sometimes longer. Shawn fit in the middle of those ages. How long had he been afraid of asking questions he had every right to have answered?
Reaching out, she placed her hand on one of his as he gripped the tops of his knees. “I think you should ask whatever it is you want to know.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think…”
She offered him what she hoped was an encouraging smile and leaned back in her chair again. “You won’t know until you try it. Believe me, Shawn, it won’t hurt nearly as much as you think it will. The anticipation is worse than the actual deed.”
If only she could convince herself of that, she thought. She badly needed to get over her fear of riding, but every time she imagined herself climbing on the back of a horse, she relived the fall she’d taken when she was twelve. That was her anticipation.
“Maybe,” Shawn said. “Maybe I’ll talk to him.”
Feeling she had done all she could for one day—and perhaps much longer, if everything went as she hoped it would—she stood. “I think you may be able to work out your differences about rodeo, too.”
He looked up, his eyes wide. “Really?”
“Well, in time. But this is a first step, and you’re the one initiating it. That alone will show your uncle that you’re growing up and that the two of you can begin to really talk about rodeo.”
Nodding, he finally smiled. “Thanks, Jules.”
“That’s why I’m here,” she said, half joking as she walked to the door. Opening it, she had to cover her soft gasp. Tanner waited on the other side. Had he been listening?
TANNER SAW Jules’s eyes narrow in suspicion and did some quick thinking. “How’d it go?”
Instead of answering, she pressed a finger to her lips. Closing the door behind her, she stepped farther into the hallway. “You were listening?” she asked in a hushed voice and glanced toward the door.
“Only for a minute,” he said, aware of how guilty he sounded. “He’s my nephew. I want to know what’s going on. I’m concerned.”
“Spying is never a good idea.” She turned and walked away, and he followed, until she stopped and faced him again. “Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”
“Sure.” He knew he probably looked surprised, but he shouldn’t have. There was no telling what she’d learned from talking to Shawn. He just hoped the news was good, and he wouldn’t have to worry about his nephew anymore.
As he started for the ranch office at the rear of the house, he realized it might not be the most private. Motioning for her to follow him, he led her outside. There was a better place where they could talk.
“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” she asked as they walked across the drive to the barn.
“Not a thing. Rowdy handles a lot of the ranch work.”
“Rowdy?”
“Rowdy Thompson, our ranch foreman. He’s been with the family since I was a kid. Knows more about cattle ranching than anybody.”
They reached the barn and he opened one of the big double doors, letting her pass inside in front of him. She stopped for a moment after stepping out of the bright sunshine and into the dimmer building. “There’s a small office down there,” he said, pointing to the end of the aisle between the two rows of stalls. “We don’t use it much, so there shouldn’t be any interruptions.”
Nodding, she started in the direction of the office, but she stopped suddenly at the sound of a horse whinnying.
“It’s just one of the horses,” he said, wondering why she was surprised by it. “This is a ranch, remember?”
Her laugh held a touch of nervousness, but she continued on. “Of course it is. I wasn’t thinking about that, though, just Shawn and our conversation.”
Reaching the door to the small room, he opened it and decided not to needle her about her reaction. He’d think about it later. Right now, Shawn was uppermost in his mind. “It’s a little dirty,” he warned her.
“I don’t mind.”
“Have a seat.” He indicated an empty chair by the old, scarred desk, then pulled another chair from the corner for himself.
She settled on the chair and waited for him to do the same. When he had, the first thing she did was smile. “Just so you know, Shawn isn’t any different from any boy his age. And in case you don’t remember, fifteen is a hard age to be.”
“He won’t be fifteen until November,” Tanner pointed out. “But I guess that doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.”
She shook her head and laughed softly. “No, not a lot. Like most his age, he’s eager to grow up, but he simply isn’t emotionally mature enough to be an adult. Basically, he probably needs you as much, if not more, than he ever has.”
Remembering Tucker, his brother and Shawn’s daddy, Tanner was aware of that. “I understand. I just don’t know how to handle it. Or him, obviously.”
“It’s a difficult time for everyone,” she agreed. “I probably deal with more teens than the younger ones because they have so many things going on inside. They’re pulled in a lot of different directions. Parents, peers, their own individual wants and needs…And they don’t know how to communicate with others, especially adults. They aren’t always truthful with their friends, either, so don’t feel too left out.”
“I do try to talk to him,” he said, thinking of all the times his nephew had turned sullen when he did.
“Let him pick the time. Be available. Don’t judge, just listen. That would be a good start.”
Tanner trusted her suggestions and knew he hadn’t been doing those things. When he talked to Shawn, it was often after he’d let things go too far, and even though he tried not to do anything in anger, it was sometimes anger that drove him to speak up. “I’ll keep that in mind. I admit I have a lot to learn.”
“Everyone does, so don’t feel alone.” She leaned toward him, her expression earnest. “You’ve done a good job. Too many parents and guardians don’t even try.”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming on,” he said.
Leaning back again, she nodded. “He has questions.”
Her face was a mask, giving away nothing, and he had a feeling this was more serious than he’d imagined. “Questions about what?”
“His parents.”
The air in his lungs seemed to vanish, and the room grew smaller. The subject of Shawn’s parents was difficult to explain. He wasn’t sure how to approach it with his nephew, so he hadn’t done it. In fact, he’d avoided it. “What about it?” he asked, feeling defensive. “His family loves him.”
“I don’t doubt that,” she said, “and I don’t know what he wants to know. He wasn’t specific. But I can tell you that he feels you won’t answer whatever it is he needs to ask.”
“I’ve never refused to answer anything,” Tanner said. “I’ve always answered, a
nd I know Bridey has, too. But we aren’t the kind of people who dwell on the past. We move forward.”
Jules was quiet for a moment, as if considering what he said. “Nobody should dwell on the past, but you have to agree that our past is what shapes us into who we are today.”
“Well, sure,” he said, shrugging. His own experiences had made him wary of commitment. He admitted it and lived his life accordingly. “I just don’t want Shawn getting bogged down in all the stuff he didn’t have any control over and forget about what he has now. The way he’s been lately, I can see that happening.”
“He’ll learn about the past at some point, and it might not be the way you want him to learn it or from the best person.”
Nodding, he mulled that over. “And I suppose it would be better to hear it from me than from a stranger. You’re right, that could happen.”
“Sometimes the truth isn’t easy to hear, but in the long run, it’s better to know than to learn at the wrong time and from the wrong person, who may not know the important things.”
“So you think I should just sit him down and tell him everything?”
She smiled and tilted her head to one side. “Not necessarily. I think he’ll come to you with the questions he has. Maybe not all at one time, but little by little, especially because he doesn’t know if you’ll be willing to be honest with him.”
Tanner jerked his head up at the last few words. “He doesn’t? Now that’s wrong. I’ve always been honest with him, and I’ve been there for him every day since his mother left. It’s just that over the past six months or so, I haven’t been able to reach him when he’s needed it the most.”
“I hope this will make things easier for both of you.”
“Not easy,” he said, imagining the conversation and Shawn’s reaction. “But just knowing what the problem is makes it easier, in a way. Thank you.”
Standing, she offered him her hand and he took it. “I’m glad I could help.”
The Rodeo Rider (Harlequin American Romance) Page 6
