Jules sensed it wouldn’t do to push for answers and gave in, resting her head against his strong shoulder. If only she could just stay here forever, she thought. If only she didn’t feel gripped with fear at even the idea of climbing on a horse again. How could she have any future with this man if she couldn’t conquer that fear?
WITH HIS HAND on the wooden door, Tanner leaned down to speak into Jules’s ear. “They can be a pretty rowdy bunch after a day of rodeo. So stick close and ignore most of it.”
“I’ve been in a bar before, Tanner,” she answered with a chuckle. “We were introduced in one.”
“Not like this one.” He pulled open the door and let her walk ahead of him into the raucous room. Shawn followed and disappeared immediately. She stopped, and Tanner slipped an assuring arm around her. “Told ya.”
The place was wall-to-wall people in a rainbow array of western wear. Hats of all colors topped the heads of every person in the room. Boots scuffed amid the sawdust on the floor to music that seemed to bounce over, under and through the crowd, while colored lights twinkled and twirled.
“What about Shawn?” Jules asked, looking around for him.
Tanner sighed. “Don’t worry. The bar is in a separate area. No alcohol in this part of the place tonight. Come on.” Keeping her close, he made his way through the mass of bodies to where he’d spotted Dusty, just as Shawn obviously had. Hailed by a large number of people, he acknowledged them with a smile or a wave, but didn’t stop until they reached the table where the other two sat.
Dusty took a long look at Jules before shifting his attention to Tanner. “So this is the lady Shawn was telling me about.” A wicked grin spread over his face. “Don’t I know her from somewhere?”
Tanner pulled out a chair for her. “Ada,” he answered without looking Dusty in the eye. “She was with Beth.”
Dusty gave her a charming smile and winked at Tanner. “Uh-huh.”
Tanner sat next to Jules and leaned closer, but he made sure they all heard him. “Remember what I said about ignoring most of it?”
Jules nodded.
He jerked a thumb at Dusty. “Start with him.”
Dusty threw back his head and laughed. “That’s classic down and dirty.”
“You bet,” Tanner returned with a grin. “Jules, meet one of the best bull riders in the country, who once claimed Desperation as his home, Dusty McPherson.”
Dusty raised an eyebrow at Tanner before turning to offer her a smile.
“Jules Vandeveer,” she said, offering her hand. “Are you competing in this rodeo, too?”
Tanner placed one arm along the back of her chair and reached out with the other to remove her hand from Dusty’s. He’d held it a little longer than Tanner liked. “He’s taking some time off to heal.”
“Heal?”
Dusty leaned back in his chair and looked at Tanner, a twinkle in his eye. “I see you’ve staked a claim.”
Tanner ignored the comment. “He’s got a couple of broken ribs, so he needs to take it easy.”
Dusty laughed again. “I get the message. But you won’t mind if I ask her for a dance, will you?
Leaning across the table, Tanner clearly stated, “She doesn’t like country music.”
“Tanner, I never said that,” Jules protested.
Dusty scooted his chair back and stood, grinning. “That’s because she hasn’t learned to appreciate it yet. I’ll give her a quick lesson.”
Shawn jumped up from his seat. “Jules, let me teach you the Electric Slide. It’s real simple.” He smiled at Tanner and quickly led her to the crowded dance floor.
Tanner didn’t take his eyes off her. And neither, he noticed, did several other cowboys in the room. Dusty had only been trying to rile him, but the others looked as if they might be a problem.
“I knew you had a thing for her back in Ada.”
Dusty’s comment brought him to full alert. Dusty might be his best friend, but he wasn’t ready to tell him anything. “What can I say? She’s different.”
Dusty kept his eyes on the beer bottle he rolled between his palms. “It’s nice to see you taking a real interest in a lady. Don’t believe I’ve ever seen you so…”
“So what?”
Shrugging, Dusty shook his head and didn’t say more.
Tanner’s attention drifted back to watch Jules and Shawn trying the dance steps. Her long, blond hair swayed seductively across her back, and he realized she didn’t know how beautiful she was.
“Is this going somewhere?” Dusty asked. “Is it serious?”
“Can’t say. She’s from a different world than you and me.”
“But that’s what gets your attention. She seems like a real nice lady. And Shawn sure has taken a liking to her.”
Tanner turned back to watch them. The music had changed to a more upbeat rock tune and they’d joined the line dance. The steps had turned her to face in his direction, and he saw the pure joy on her face. It clashed with her lady-lawyer image. “Shawn’s crazy about her.”
“Reckon he’s not the only one.”
Tanner wasn’t sure how to answer. He hadn’t given any serious thought to a future with Jules. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. “Commitments aren’t my style,” he reminded his friend. “You know my past record. First my mother, then Tucker. And let’s not forget how fast Marlene took off when Shawn came to live with us.”
“Marlene was a mistake you were lucky to be rid of.”
Tanner couldn’t have agreed more. To think he had almost married her made his stomach queasy. As soon as she’d learned Tanner had taken on the job of raising his brother’s child, she couldn’t get away fast enough. But Marlene was the past, and Jules was the present. Whether she would be the future was something he couldn’t know.
“Jules is different,” he said again, even though he hadn’t planned on telling Dusty anything. “But who knows what will happen when the novelty wears off for both of us?”
“Maybe it won’t.”
Tanner met his gaze squarely. “Maybe you ought to find a lady of your own.”
“Plenty of time,” Dusty said with a wink and a shrug. “But it looks like you’ve found yours.”
Tanner took a long drink of Dusty’s beer and fixed his friend with a hard look. “She doesn’t like rodeos.”
“You can’t ride broncs forever.”
Tanner shook his head. “She had a riding accident when she was a kid and is scared to ride again. What kind of a future could an old cowboy think of having with someone like that?”
“People change. If it’s important enough.”
Tanner wasn’t sure if he meant him or Jules.
The dance ended, and Shawn and Jules returned to the table. Tanner got to his feet and held out his hand. “I guess it’s my turn,” he said, and led her onto the dance floor. Pulling her into his arms, he looked down at the same time she looked up. Her smile alone could have melted the polar cap.
When he felt a tap on his shoulder a few minutes later, he was about to tell whoever it was to get lost. But it was Dusty.
“Shawn’s pretty done in,” his friend said in a quiet voice. “If he’s gonna get some practice in with me tomorrow, he needs to get some sleep.”
Tanner nodded and started to let go of Jules.
Dusty laid his hand on Tanner’s shoulder and grinned. “I’ll take him back to the motel and make sure he has enough sleep. You stay here and enjoy yourself.”
“Thanks.”
As Dusty walked away, Jules looked up at him. “Maybe we should go back to the motel, too.”
“No need. We’ll wait a bit until Shawn gets settled. A couple of hours of sleep will do me. I don’t sleep much when I’m riding.”
She frowned at him. “You probably should.”
Without thinking what he was doing, he kissed the tip of her nose. “Okay, mother hen. But I’ve been doing this most of my life.”
Concern filled her eyes. She started to speak, then shook her head, look
ing down.
He slowly ran his hand up and down her back. “What is it, darlin’?”
She hesitated. “I was going to ask something.”
“So ask.”
“It isn’t important.” She looked up with a smile. “Really it isn’t.”
“You look tired. Maybe we should call it a night.”
“I am tired,” she admitted. “This is the first time I’ve had a chance to relax since I returned to work. Then there’s that small detail of your appointment with a horse tomorrow.”
“A horse that doesn’t like a cowboy on his back,” he said, chuckling, as he led her off the dance floor and toward the door.
The weekend had only begun, and already he was feeling good about it and his decision to see where this would take him. Tomorrow would be the proof. Would she be a mental distraction for him, causing a poor ride, weakening what Rowdy referred to as his “edge”? Or would the opposite happen? He was willing to find out. Now. Before the relationship they were forming went any further. After that, there would be other things to deal with.
HURRYING AROUND behind the grandstand, Jules searched for Shawn. Only three more riders before Tanner’s final ride of the rodeo, and the teenager had disappeared. It wasn’t like Shawn to be gone at such an important time.
She’d expected him to join her earlier, but she hadn’t seen him for quite some time. Not since Dusty had joined her in the stands for a while. She liked Dusty, but his presence had made her nervous, afraid he would sense her uneasiness around so many horses and riders.
Worried, she scanned the area, and then widened her search. She found a group of teenagers congregated in the parking lot and asked if they’d seen him. None of them had. Panic began to set in. She was responsible for him while Tanner was busy getting ready for his ride, and the boy was nowhere to be found. Tanner would never forgive her if anything happened to his nephew.
Cautiously entering the area behind the chutes near the stock pens, she heard someone call her name.
Dusty’s worried frown was out of place on his usually grinning face. “What are you doing? You shouldn’t be wandering around back here.” He looked behind him as he took her elbow and led her around the pens. “Tanner expects you to be in the stands, not back here.”
She looked up at him in the slowly fading daylight. “I can’t find Shawn.”
His fingers tightened on her arm, and he swore under his breath. “Tanner’s ride is next. Come on, we’ll watch the ride from here. Shawn knows to stay on the grounds. He’s probably watching from the other side of the chutes. We’ll catch up with him after Tanner’s ride.”
When Jules nodded, he steered her between a small group of cowboys to a fence that looked out into the arena. “If you sit on the fence, you can see really well.”
“That’s okay, I can see fine from—”
“Jules?” Dusty said.
She halted her retreat from the fence and looked at him.
“Does it scare you to watch him ride?” he asked.
Seeing the concern in his eyes, she hesitated. Reluctantly, she nodded.
He shook his head and sighed before pinning her with a serious look. “This is gonna sound cruel, but…”
She needed to hear what he had to say, even though she suspected she wouldn’t like it. “Go ahead. Please.”
Determination and apology joined the concern in his eyes. “Either learn to get used to it or get out of his life now.”
His words hit her hard. She turned to gaze out at the arena, but didn’t see anything through the threatening tears. He was right. Each time she watched Tanner ride, it was driven home to her a little more that she couldn’t keep fooling herself. She either needed to accept who he was and what he did, or she should go back to her life before she met him.
Tanner was announced as the next rider, and she swallowed the tears blocking her throat, nodding to let Dusty know she’d heard him. He put his hand on her shoulder.
“If you need somebody to talk to, Jules, I’m here. Maybe I can help. My wife—” He broke off and offered a crooked smile. “My ex-wife felt the same way about my bull riding. I don’t want to see anything like that happen to Tanner. Or you.”
In front of them, the chute opened, and Tanner’s ride began. Jules knew Tanner had given her the power to hurt him. She had seen it in his eyes. It was the last thing she wanted to do. But she didn’t know how to avoid it. No matter what she did, she risked hurting him.
Chapter Seven
Tanner growled into the depths of his equipment bag and ignored the other cowboys around him. He’d won the Dodge City bronc riding, but the joy over that hadn’t compared with the joy of having Jules there. Since then, he’d spent the week on a high, and now he was coming back down. Jules was back in Wichita, and here he was in Ponca City, competing again. He was lonely. And that was strange, because he’d never felt that way before. In fact, it was usually the opposite. He never had a problem with being away from the ranch and enjoying his freedom, so he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this new sensation.
“Damn,” he muttered into the bag, clawing through the contents.
“Lose somethin’?”
Frowning, he looked up to see Rowdy standing nearby, tossing the rosin bag in the air. Tanner straightened and took it from him.
“Found it in the pickup,” Rowdy said.
Tanner mumbled his thanks, picked up his bag and turned to walk away.
“You know,” Rowdy said from behind him, “you did real well last night. But if you don’t stop thinking about that woman, you won’t even make it out of the chute tonight.”
Tanner stopped in his tracks and swore under his breath. He didn’t need Rowdy needling him. And Rowdy knew it. Swinging around, he leveled his gaze on his foreman. “Her name is Jules. And she doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
“You can’t tell me she doesn’t have anything to do with this black mood you’re in.”
Rowdy’s words stung, but Tanner wouldn’t admit how close to the truth he’d come. “Everybody’s entitled to a bad day,” he answered, taking off again.
Rowdy grabbed his arm. “You can’t have a bad day when you’re planning to climb on the back of a bronc. You know that. When are you going to act like it?”
Tanner started to shake Rowdy off, but the fight went out of him. He did know better. He’d watched his own father slowly self-destruct because of a woman. A good ride didn’t hinge on whether Jules was there to watch him or not. He’d be smart to keep his feelings about her—whatever they were—out of the arena.
Without turning to look at Rowdy, he nodded. “You’re right.”
He could feel Rowdy’s satisfied smile.
“I’ll meet you back at the motel later,” Rowdy told him as he walked away.
The hot August sun beating down on him didn’t lighten Tanner’s mood as he climbed into his truck to head back to the motel. He hadn’t slept well the night before, and memories of the ups and downs of his father’s short career haunted him.
Brody O’Brien had wandered the circuit looking for his young wife, Sally, who’d run off and left him with two young boys. He never did find her. The hoof of a bull had connected with his skull and put an end to his quest and his life.
Brody had had the talent to be one of the best bull riders in the country, but because of Sally, he’d wasted it on small-time rodeos. His dream of someday making the National Finals faded with his obsession to find his wife.
Tanner wasn’t a fool. He wouldn’t do the same thing. Love, he’d learned at an early age, could destroy a man. Oh, he loved his nephew, his aunt Bridey and even his irresponsible brother, Tucker, even though he didn’t know where he was or even if he was. But except for that love of family, he didn’t believe in any other kind. Not for him. Love was something that destroyed. He had tried it once, and it had turned around to hurt him. Rowdy didn’t need to worry. What he felt for Jules wasn’t love. It was…well, it was…
It was just that s
he was good for him. That was all. And, damn it, he missed her.
Tanner threw his hat on the seat beside him and started the engine. He slammed the pickup into drive and hit the gas, spewing loose gravel from under his tires and making the rear end of the truck fishtail. He’d left Shawn back at the motel to take advantage of the amenities, and Rowdy was spending the afternoon with some old friends.
He slowed at the drive leading to the road, looked right, then left—and hit the brake pedal.
The car turning into the parking lot stopped next to him. Leaning his arm on the window edge, he waited for Jules to roll down her window.
Her eyes were hidden by a pair of dark glasses and her smile was tentative. “Hello, Tanner.”
“Afternoon, darlin’. Out for a Saturday drive?”
Jules’s lips turned up in a smile. “I, uh, thought I’d come down and watch the finals.”
It wasn’t that he wasn’t pleased to see her, but the last time they’d talked, on the way back from Dodge City, she was certain she couldn’t take the time off to come. Now she was here.
“For somebody who doesn’t like rodeo all that much, I have to say this is a surprise.” When her smile disappeared, he hurried to assure her. “Not that I’m not happy to see you. I was just headed back to the motel for a swim, a rest and Shawn. Follow me on over.”
Jules smiled and nodded before easing her car forward and making a circle in the parking lot to stop behind him. With a quick glance in his mirror, he pulled out onto the road and headed toward the motel.
When they arrived, she pulled in beside his pickup, and he waited for her to get out of her car. When she didn’t, he stuffed his hat on his head, climbed out of his truck and strolled over to meet her. Placing his hands on the roof, he leaned down to look at her through the open window. “I’m glad you came.”
“I wasn’t sure it was a good idea,” she said. “Surprising someone like this doesn’t always work out for the best.”
He stared at his reflection in her sunglasses, unable to see her eyes. Reaching in, he slid the glasses down with one finger and caught her gaze with his. Uncertainty filled her green eyes. Popping open the door, he helped her from the car. “That’s not something you have to worry about.”
The Rodeo Rider (Harlequin American Romance) Page 10
