Quinn told the men in the back to watch for his signal. Several men had entered through the front and kitchen door that had remained open and accessible. Since the bottom floor was a large circular floor plan, there was easier access but less hiding angles. Finally, everyone in place with the expectation of the 'go' signal any moment, a woman came out of the hall closet and called the attacker by name.
Quinn expelled his pent up air. "What the hell?"
The attacker held Jocelyn tighter and the woman spoke to her as though they were well known to each other.
"Anna, what are you doing still here?" Jocelyn's words were calm, but Liam could hear the fear.
"I thought that if Roger wanted me, then he could have me. I don't have any family left. I have never protected my babies well enough to deserve them, and this man is a maniac. It's my fault for having children, for not protecting them, for letting this man terrorize them." Her stance became one of determination and triumph. She had finally succeeded in protecting her children.
Anna turned to face Roger. "Let her go, Roger. You are angry with me, so take me. She has done nothing but feed your children, give them a place to lay their heads and protect them. The things you should have done for them. Instead, you have destroyed any family we could have had. I have sent the children away, Roger, they aren't here. You can't hurt them any longer."
Roger held Jocelyn tighter. Ciarán was standing next to Liam and heard several well-chosen words spoken in both English and Irish, and once again, he placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, as much for restraint as comfort.
"Yeah, well go get them back. They're my kids and I want them back."
"Well, are you going to feed them? Love them?"
"I love them. And you always find a way to feed them. They are my kids and I'm going to get them back. This bitch took them and hid them." He turned to shake Jocelyn and demanded, "Where are my kids."
Jocelyn was wearing out, but she thought of something that Katie had done when Stuart was holding her captive. She'd brought him outside. She knew there was law enforcement outside somewhere, so she needed to get him outside.
"Anna, let us take Roger to see the kids." She gave Anna a look that she hoped relayed that she had a plan and it would be all right. She watched Anna hesitate, and then something must have reached through because she said okay.
"Roger, I have to grab my bag because my keys are in it, then we can go," Jocelyn assured the angry man.
"Just call them and have them brought back here."
"Well, they are in our safe house and it has no land line phone. I can try to call them on the cell. How about that?"
"No. No phones and no cars."
"Roger, what are we supposed to do then?" asked Anna.
"Shut up. I don't know."
"Let Jocelyn go. Either you let her take you to the children, use her cell phone to find someone with them, or you let her go. I'll stay with you, Roger."
"Be quiet. I can't think."
"You need to decide what you want." The woman was forcing her husband to respond.
"Shut up!" Roger reacted as he always did as autopilot took over and he reached out to strike her hard across the face, letting go of Jocelyn at the same time. Quick as a heartbeat, the room was filled with men, Jocelyn was swept out the back door, and Anna was swept to the other side of the room while Roger was tackled and disarmed.
When Katie could see that Jocelyn was safe as Liam brought her out of the back door of Bhaile Haven, she sighed with relief and started to go home before her husband realized she was not there all ready. Then her cell phone rang and Ciarán said, "Katie, everything is fine. Jocelyn is safe and no one got hurt except the security guard."
"I know. I mean, I knew you would be able to keep her safe. Are you coming home soon?" she asked cautiously.
There was a pause and Ciarán's voice got intensely quiet. "Katherine, where are you?"
"Huh? Why would you ask? You just called me."
"Hold a moment." Ciarán asked Liam a question, she heard Liam speak for a moment, and then he repeated, "Katherine, where are you?"
"Home."
"Really? Why aren't you at Liam's with everyone else?"
"I'm… I mean I was, I just am driving over to the house now."
"You weren't going to wait until you heard from us? Are you feeling ill?"
"No, I was just tired and there were no places at Liam's with everyone else there."
Then, Ciarán swore so loud that she heard his voice permeate the air around her. It was so forceful she looked up, and stared straight into his eyes, eyes that even from this distance she could see were the blackest hazel eyes she had ever beheld. He had been walking towards Katie while speaking to her on the phone, keeping her occupied until he could get to her.
Katie's hands shook like an earthquake. Then he was walking towards her, no longer speaking on the phone but still connected. She could hear his heavy breathing, see his hot anger and for the first time in her life, she wondered if she should have some fear of her husband, not him but of his emotional state.
She was still sitting in the driver's seat and Ciarán growled at her over the cell phone again, "Move. Over." When she just sat, frozen in place, he said, "Anois, Katherine, Now!"
Hearing him demand in two languages while using her full first name meant that if she had any doubts as to the state of her husband's mind, they were gone. He was livid. She scooted over quickly before he could get to the driver's door but when he did, he jerked it open, tossed his hat onto the dash, threw himself in the seat, and slammed the door. He characteristically raked his hand through his hair. Then just sat and breathed. He didn't speak, he didn't move, he just breathed.
Katie knew that she would have to sit there because if the other two men, Quinn or Parker, saw she was still there, they would take turns making sure sitting was not something she could do, possibly ever. She figured Liam was gearing up for his shot all ready. She was not too pregnant to wallop for something as insane as this stunt. Which, in hindsight, which was always 20/20, she contributed nothing but fuel to encourage Ciarán to control her movements even further. She had just proven to him that she had no more brains than God gave a billy goat and she wouldn't be safe even at the White House.
Ciarán disconnected his cell phone call and clicked his seat belt on. The area around his mouth was white and his hands were gripping and releasing the steering wheel as though he were pumping a heart in his hand. Finally, he looked at her and said, "Buckle."
Hearing how heavily controlled Ciarán's voice was, and how menacing the undertones were, she jumped to comply. She couldn't stop the shaking of her hands enough to put the buckle in place and she began to cry as she frantically tried to connect the belt.
Ciarán watched for a moment and then let out an exasperated sigh, realizing that he was panicking his wife with his lack of controlled anger. Reaching his hand to cover her hands, squeezing them to stop their frantic, ineffectual workings, he tried to calm her movements. Katherine actually began to cry harder then.
"Move your hands, Katherine," Ciarán said with as much gentleness as he could muster in his present mood. He waited for her to comply and then added "Anois," when she seemed to be unable to move. "Now, Katherine." She allowed him to push her hands out of the way and he snapped the buckle, being gentle over and under her baby bump, creating a safe surrounding for the baby and her. They drove home without saying a word, but Katherine was crying hard the whole way home. Ciarán was afraid she would make herself sick. However, he knew he was entirely too furious with her to do more than drive them back. While it tugged at his heart that she was so worried about his anger, he wanted her to be a bit concerned, to anticipate the outcome, so did nothing.
As they pulled up to the house, he turned the truck off, and with a stern voice, he told her to go upstairs and take a nap. "Ciarán," she began between sobs.
"Katherine, I'm too angry to speak to you right now, but I know it has been a long afternoon,
so you will go upstairs and take a nap."
Between hiccups and sniffles, she responded with a nod, "Okay, but can I get something to eat first?"
Ciarán was feeling so exhausted that he just stared at her for a moment. "Katherine, do what you need to do. You aren't a prisoner, but once you have, I expect you to take a nap. Because when I'm no longer so angry that I see red, you and I are going to have a long, painful, conversation that won't be pleasant for either of us."
"But I'm pregnant, Ciarán," she wailed.
"And this is long overdue, Katherine. Go."
"Where are you going? You're coming back today, aren't you?" The fear in her voice was tangible.
"Lord, I hope so, baby. I need some brotherly advice and some time to think. Go on inside anios, mo chroí."
Katie wanted to complain about the fact that her brother in laws were going to know all about her little defiance today and probably would be discussing her punishment. She was also worried that Ciarán was unsure whether he was returning today. That was scarier than if he was coming back to warm her bottom, so she said nothing that would make his anger grow. There was comfort in the fact that he had called her endearments in both English and Irish, but also he had used Katherine several times. She began to cry again as she left the truck, unable to control the tears.
*****
Ciarán had been driving around for a nearly an hour when he reentered the ranch's main gate and drove up the lane to Liam's house. He had put in a call to Quinn and asked him if he could come out because he had a hard issue to deal with and needed some clearer thinkers than himself to help him work it out.
Over coffee, because Ciarán wanted nothing to take away his clarity if he decided to deal with Katie tonight, he told his brothers everything. The fights they had been having over Katie doing things he felt was risky in pregnancy, his agreement to be more understanding and try to see things from her point of view more, what had happened during that morning and then the incident this afternoon.
Quinlan whistled and said, "Son, you have a big problem stewing and you need to get things under control."
"I know, but I can hardly do much when she is pregnant. I'm just about ready to punch a hole in the wall because I know what I need to do, but she is six months pregnant. I just look at her with those tears in her eyes and I'm lost. She is just so damned independent that sometimes it seems as though she is running things on her own and I give in too much. Lord, and those hormones… she is always crying, yelling, something."
Liam let his brothers talk for a bit and then he said, "Ciarán, these are safety issues. She could have gotten hurt severely in several of these situations, and while she says she knows you will protect her, she needs you to show it. She needs to believe it unconditionally because that is how you protect her. I know she isn't a child, but she is sounding like she is insecure about submitting to your authority; as though she would lose herself by submitting to you. She needs to know that no matter what, she has to listen to you when it's necessary, even if she does not want to follow your lead because it's your responsibility to protect her and you take it very seriously. Trust is a big piece of this, even if she says she does, she doesn't truly if she cannot just do as you ask when it's important."
Quinn added, "This afternoon, for instance, you were very clear about the actions you expected, the danger was real, and she acknowledged your authority just hours before, but then didn't respect it when it was important. That isn't acceptable. How are you to know she will ever be safe if she does not follow you when you need her to?"
Liam nodded. "Her being pregnant is a concern, but making love is more intrusive to a pregnancy than warming her butt. The two things you need to make sure of are that she absolutely understands the issues of safety, trusting you enough to submit to you as her husband and head of household, and making sure you aren't too angry when you do it."
The brothers talked for a while longer before Quinn asked, "Where is she now?"
"Home. Napping."
Quinn shook his head and laughed, "Are you sure?"
"Why?"
Quinn nodded out the window and saw Katie walking in the yard with Jocelyn.
"Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a submissive woman?"
Liam and Quinlan laughed. Quinn said, "I tell you often, it's because we have to have the spice in our lives. We would be bored without it. Yours is extra spicy these days."
"Yes, well your day is coming whenever you and Cheyenne decide on starting a family, it will be you who needs the personal session and I'll be sure to remind you of the extra spice."
Liam laughed and nodded towards the women. "I remember this same conversation between you and me over a year ago. Go and set your house in order, Ciarán. You have a long spring and summer ahead."
Standing in the cool spring air outside, Katie was asking Jocelyn about how to be more compliant with her husband without giving up her whole being.
"Katie, it's really not a giving up of you. In the bedroom, when you give the power to your husband and he concentrates it only on you first, making sure your needs are satisfied, do you complain?"
"Not on your life."
"Why? You are doing what he is asking you to do, your stated desires are put last, and your choices are taken away."
"True, but I have so much power when I give into him in the bedroom, all my needs are addressed. How I respond, because he is so in tune with me, he adjusts to meet my responses and I never want to be the lead in the bedroom. I'm responsible for nothing but to experience the pleasure he gives me."
"It's the same for the rest of your day. When you allow him to take control, you are responsible for nothing you don't want to be responsible for. Katie, your husband, brings in so much income from the ranch and the businesses he oversees, that you would never have to work a day in your life and you would never want for anything. So why do you work?"
"Because I want to. It makes me feel as though we are sharing the load, but I don't worry about paying a bill; Ciarán does all that. I just work for the pleasure of it."
"That is the joy of submitting to him and his authority. You use your training and intellect because it brings you joy and fulfillment, but it isn't your responsibility to do more than that. The responsibilities to keep you safe and happy are his. The control as to whether you work or not, is yours. If you don’t want to work, then step out of bounds; if you want to work, stay within the bounds. His reactions are based on your actions."
"Okay, but what about him not wanting to let me go to the mustang roundup because of safety when I want to so badly?"
"He says he doesn't want you to be around kicking wild horses, right? What is wrong with that? No one intends to be near a kicking wild mare, especially when pregnant. So if that is the only issue, he isn't asking you to do something out of the ordinary, he is just voicing his concern."
Katie was quiet for a moment, and then she said, "So, submitting, in this case, is merely agreeing that I don't want to get kicked either and I could stay a goodly distance away, even in the truck if need be. But I could still control whether I go, by agreeing with him because I do agree."
"Exactly. Now, this afternoon was just plain dumb. You should have gone where you were needed most and where you were out of harm's way. Ciarán would have been distracted with worry if he had known you were there. Instead of figuring that it was the best thing anyway because you could have helped with the children, you chose to defy your husband by putting yourself in danger just because he told you to go home. Kind of like a stubborn, willful child and I bet that he sees it that way."
"I wasn't in any real danger, but I could have put him at risk if he knew I was still there because he would have been worried about me. Lord, Jocelyn, he was enraged. I have never seen him so angry, ever."
"I bet. I'm sure that is why you are still able to sit down. He was too angry to flip you over right then and there. So can you see that he isn't just putting roadblocks in your way because what he wants
to do is to control you? Because, it's you, as the one who is being protected that has the control. And if it's something that makes sense, then let it happen and don't fight it just because he says it aloud. Asking his opinion more on things will let him know you respect his authority and value his opinion and he will be less likely to put on the brakes. See? Control. Liam said in some ways, you can top from the bottom if you do it right."
"What is topping from the bottom?"
Jocelyn laughed. "Well, you know when you are giving control in the bedroom and are in some way directing how things should be done instead of just letting him run the show for your pleasure? That is topping from the bottom. Liam hates that and while I used to do it a lot, I have now learned how to get my needs met without directing him openly. I just let my responses talk; he can hear them well."
"Also, if something they want turns out to be a wrong decision, you have no part of it and they have to clean up the mess themselves. Then, if you offer to help them because you are sympathetic to their plight, brownie points, and more control.
"If you go home now, and offer to do whatever he wants to make this right, you are choosing when and where it happens. He will be more likely to think you have agreed to submit and you have more control. The retribution will be much less, I promise you, again, more control."
"Jocelyn, I will be lucky if this ends in one talking session and if it does, I will consider myself well-loved. I can see him doing a series of meetings because he was so angry. One last thing before I submit to donating strips of skin from my butt, how do I explain that I'm not at home right now napping because I think I have been discovered?"
"Did he say you had to stay home?"
"No, but he implied it. He said it had been a long afternoon and I would need to feel rested for later so I needed to take a nap."
"Well, then, you are fine. You needed help understanding why this submitting issue is such a hard thing for you, letting your husband be the authority. Because you know you hurt him when you don't, like today. You need to fix this. You needed another woman's perspective, someone you trust."
Katie Consents (Ciaran O'Connor Book 3) Page 12
