“Oooookay …” Katya let her voice trail off, still a little scared of what was going to be said.
“And while I'd like to say set all their shit on fire and key their cars, I think what you need to do is figure out what it is you really want. Just you. Not what Eden wants, and not what Wulf-man wants. Deep down, what you really, really want. If you want to forgive them and move on, then go for it – I've got your back. If you do want to set their shit on fire and key their cars, I've got a lighter in my back pocket. If you want to play your own game and push their buttons, then have fun, sister. Just make sure it's what YOU want to do,” Tori urged, tucking her loose hair behind her ears.
While Katya absorbed all that, let it roll around her brain for a bit, her best friend reached across the table with a fork and began eating the rest of the stroganoff.
“Just do whatever I feel like,” Katya mumbled.
“Yeah. I mean, look how far it's taken you. This time three months ago, you'd be sketching right now. Or crocheting something. Or watching one of those cooking videos. Honestly, it was kind of sad. Now you're all 'I'm a vixen', and 'look at me be a badass', and … I don't know. Feels like you're finally …,” Tori struggled to find the right words. Katya smiled.
“Growing into myself?”
“Yeah! Like you're finally becoming comfortable in your skin. Saying the shit that you usually keep bottled up inside. It's good for you! Sometimes screaming and throwing cake at a dude is good for you. And sometimes sleeping around and being selfish is good for you, too. But you know, like, in moderation,” Tori amended her speech. Katya laughed.
“Gotcha. Alright – do whatever makes me feel good, as long as it's in moderation.”
“Well, duh. What if you decide coke makes you feel good!? Moderation is key.”
Katya laughed for so long, Tori had finished the last of the food by the time she stopped.
*
Friday afternoon. Katya had stayed late at the bakery, finally finishing everything for Lauren's cake. In the morning, she'd go down and put it all in place, then deliver the massive dessert to the event hall. She'd miss the actual wedding service while she went home and changed, but she'd be done in time for the reception.
On her bus ride, Katya thought a lot about what Tori had said. Thought a lot about how she felt, about the things she wanted for herself.
It was hard to be honest with herself – a common problem for most people, she knew. She kept a lot of things buried, too ashamed or embarrassed to admit them to herself. Right that moment, though, she decided to lay them all out in her mind, not caring if they were “right” or “wrong”. All that mattered was how each thought made her feel.
Okay, so let's think about Liam.
Thinking about him caused a pain in her heart. It was strange, how much she secretly longed for him. How badly she wanted to call him and tell him some funny story from work, or to have drinks with him on her roof. In a short time, he'd become a very large, very important presence in her life. Almost invaluable. If she was being totally honest, she didn't want to picture her life without him.
He'd done something awful. Terrible. Unforgivable, really. But she wanted to forgive him. She wanted him to apologize – which he had, and she wanted him to mean it – which she was pretty sure he did. She wanted to cry, and she wanted him to hug her, and she wanted them to get to a place where they could be okay together. Maybe not that day, and maybe not the next. Maybe not for a while. The wounds were still too fresh. But maybe someday.
Yeah. That's what I really want.
She let out a rush of air so fast, the person sitting next to her glanced at her. Katya couldn't explain it, but again, it felt like a weight had been lifted. She'd been so ashamed to even admit to herself that she wanted to forgive Liam. Embarrassed, like she was letting down all of womanhood. But Tori had been right, she needed to do what she felt was right for her.
She felt so good about her decision, so proud of her self-analyzing abilities, that she barreled into the next thought without pause.
Let's do this with Wulf, now!
Her relief ran straight into a brick wall and she almost groaned.
If Liam was a pain in her heart, Wulf was a full body ache. She'd been closer to him in different ways, and his betrayal had cut a lot deeper. She'd shared her life with Liam; she'd shared her heart with Wulf. She could always get her life back.
A heart, though, wasn't as easy to recapture.
She was frustrated that she couldn't untangle her feelings for Wulf as easily. Forgiveness wasn't as simple, nor was being able to tell if she even wanted to forgive him. Keeping him at bay would be even more necessary than with Liam, but also harder. Wulf didn't like being told no, and he would never settle for being just friends.
She chewed on her bottom lip and stared out the window, watching cars slide by the bus. She didn't think she wanted to be Wulf's friend, and she certainly didn't want to date him ever again. She wanted … she wanted him to feel. Something. Anything. Feel a tenth of the pain he'd inflicted on her. Wondered if that was even possible. She wanted …
… I want him to love me the way he made me love him.
Shame, rolling over her in waves. Such a silly, girly revenge fantasy, but there it was – the stark, raving truth. She wanted him to fall in love with her, so she could look him in the eye and tell him she didn't feel the same way. That it was all just for fun, for laughs. She wanted him to know what it felt like to lose someone.
It was all ridiculous, anyway. She wasn't into playing games. She wasn't going to lure Wulf into any elaborate plot, that much she knew. But … if he continued pursuing her, which she was sure he would, she could just let it all unfold however she wanted. Slam her door in his face one day, and invite him in for coffee the next. React in whatever way she was feeling in whatever moment. Keep him on his toes. Drive him crazy.
Wulfric Stone, crazy. It might be good for him.
She was so caught up in her little vengeance daydream, she almost missed her stop. She wasn't used to that bus route, so she hadn't been looking out for it. She wound up pulling the stop chord at the last moment, jumping up as the bus squealed to a halt. She hopped out onto the sidewalk and opened her umbrella, trying to protect herself from the downpour. Then, as she heard the bus roll away, she took a deep breath and turned around.
Wulf's apartment building.
She'd only ever been there once before – and on accident, at that. She hadn't been positive of the exact address, since he'd basically carried her there. She'd had to retrace her steps from that long-ago night, then use Google maps to track down the actual building.
It was well away from downtown San Francisco, and so tall, it looked like it was slicing into the sky. All dark metals and mirrored glass. Cold and ominous, exactly like the man who owned it.
She hurried across the street and into the building. A doorman held open the entrance for her, and as she shook out her umbrella over the marble floors, a man behind a desk cleared his throat.
“Can I help you?” he asked, smiling pleasantly at her. She smiled back.
“Yes – I'm here to see a friend,” she explained.
“Of course. The elevators are on the right,” he offered, extending a hand in their direction. She nodded.
“Yes, I know, but she's staying on the top floor.”
“I'm sorry, which floor?”
Katya took a deep breath.
“Wulfric Stone's home. I'm here to see Genevieve Stone,” she told him. She spoke in even tones, hoping to sound professional. Wulf's apartment was only accessible via a key card, and Katya didn't have Vieve's phone number. Her only way up was to hope the attendant would call and announce her.
“And your name?” he asked, tapping away at a computer that was hiding behind the desk.
Crap.
“Katya Tocci. She doesn't know I'm coming, so if you could just call and -”
“Ah! Ms. Tocci, I have you in here as an approved guest,” he told her. H
er jaw dropped.
“I'm … what?”
“It says here you are a pre-approved guest, to be allowed access to the apartment at any time. Did Mr. Stone not tell you that?” he asked. She gasped so hard she choked on air.
“No,” she coughed out. “No, Mr. Stone did not. Can I, um, does it say when he put me on the guest list?”
“Of course, Ms. Tocci. Let me see … ah, yes, almost a month ago now,” he told her, prattling off a date. Katya did some math – Wulf had given her full access to his home before they'd even gone to Carmel.
Why didn't he ever tell me!?
“Oh. Yes. I … uh … that's great. Um, I'd really love to go up there, but could you let Vieve -, erm, Ms. Stone, know I'm coming?” she asked.
“Of course.”
A couple seconds later, and he assured her that Ms. Stone would be delighted to receive her. Katya was shuffled onto an express elevator and the man used his card to grant her access to the top floor. Then he smiled and stood stiffly while the doors shut between them.
As soon as the lift started moving, Katya sagged back against a wall. She wasn't sure how to deal with that new information. She had begged Wulf to take her to his apartment, and he'd always said no. If she'd ever gotten fed up and just shown up on her own, she would've been let right in, regardless of whether or not he was even home.
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
She couldn't figure it out. Wulf had always been hard to read, even when he'd been the grumpy teenager living next door to her while they'd been growing up. She'd been wrong more than once when trying to guess his thoughts and feelings.
Had it been a preemptive move? Give her access then, so he wouldn't have to bother with it later? Hmmm, didn't seem like him. Everything he did was calculated. If he'd given her access a month ago, it was for a specific purpose. Maybe … just maybe, even that long ago, he had been feeling something. Maybe he'd been starting to see her as part of his home, and so of course, he'd given her access to it. Not like he had to discuss it with her – he never discussed anything he did with anybody.
No, this is ridiculous. You are not now, nor were you ever, a part of his home. He was probably just hoping you'd show up in nothing but a trench coat, or something.
Before she could dwell more on that particular mystery, the elevator lurched to a stop.
Genevieve Stone was waiting outside the doors. She was only twenty-one, yet Katya had always been a little in awe of the other girl. While they'd never been best friends, they had been two girls of a similar age growing up next door to each other – they'd been to their share of slumber parties together. They'd gone to the same private schools. But after Katya had graduated, they'd only kept in contact through social media, and sporadically, at that.
Through her own mother, Katya had heard about Vieve going into med school. Turned out Wulfric wasn't the only one with brains in the family. Vieve had graduated high school a year early and had immediately gone to college. But after only one year, she'd dropped out. Apparently the Stone family had been rocked by that announcement, but not half as much as when they found out it was because she'd fallen in love.
Vieve got married three weeks after her eighteenth birthday. Katya had received an invitation, but school had prevented her from attending. Then, about six months ago, Katya's mom had mentioned that the man had passed away. Brain cancer.
Man, a widow by the time she was twenty-one. I can't even imagine.
And yet still, with all that in her past, Vieve stood there looking as cool and collected as could be. Despite the large age gap, she and Wulf could have been twins. They were both pretty tall, with fair skin and dark hair, which was all topped off with a matching pair of striking blue eyes. Wulf had been a swimmer, then had gone on to dominate the real estate industry in California. Genevieve had been a skilled equestrian, and there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she would've gone on to become an amazing doctor. Two peas in a pod. It made Katya feel small in comparison. Like if she stepped too close to the other woman, she might sully her with her presence.
“Katya, it's been so long!” Vieve breathed out, stepping up close and hugging her. Katya was a little surprised, but she hugged her back.
“I know, not since … wow, my graduation party, huh?”
“I guess so. Feels so long ago now,” Vieve sighed, then stepped aside and gestured for Katya to enter the apartment.
It was hard being there. She'd only been there once before, and though it had seemed like a magical time, everything had come crashing down right afterwards. So the space made her feel uncomfortable. In a short span of time, she'd made a lot of memories in that home. Ones she now worked very hard to forget.
“Yeah, but sometimes, it kinda feels like it was all just yesterday. So what brings you to San Francisco?” Katya dove right into her twenty questions. Vieve blinked her eyes in surprise, then quickly got control of herself and glided into the kitchen.
“I've been needing a change. A month or two ago, I had mentioned to Wulf that I was thinking of moving. He offered to find me a place. I was going to come here for a sort of extended visit, see if I liked it enough to relocate here,” she explained.
“Oh. So you're thinking of moving here,” Katya clarified.
“Maybe. I like it a lot, and it's nice to be close to Wulf. Is that why you're here? Were you hoping to catch him? He said he wanted me to have space, to really get a feel for living on my own here, so he's staying somewhere else,” Vieve told her. Katya coughed out a laugh, maybe a little too forcefully.
“What, Wulf? Looking for him? No, no. I, uh, found out you were here, and thought it would be fun to catch up,” she said quickly. Vieve smiled again. She had such a gentle smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. For someone so young, there was something about her that seemed so old. A person could just feel how weary her soul was; Katya wanted to wrap her up and take care of her.
“He told me about you two.”
“He did?”
“Yes. When I called about looking for a place, he mentioned that living here would bring me closer to you. I was surprised he even knew you were in San Francisco,” Vieve said, and Katya gave a genuine laugh. “He told me you guys had been seeing each other. I thought it was … nice.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it was nice, for a while.”
“He also told me it ended.”
“It did.”
“Do you … want to talk about it?” Vieve offered. Katya snorted.
“I don't think you want to hear it.”
“I don't mind. I mean, he is my brother, so I'm going to love him no matter what. But that also means I know how difficult he can be.”
“Difficult isn't a big enough word for what your brother is.”
“Tell me about it. I lived with him, remember?”
Katya laughed again.
“He didn't tell you how it ended?” she asked.
“He mentioned that it didn't end well, and that he'd made some bad mistakes,” Vieve replied.
“That's kind of downplaying it. Nothing else?”
“Not really. You know him, he's not a big talker. But then when I got here, after a couple days, I finally asked about you. He said not to worry, that you'd be speaking to each other soon. So that's why I assumed you were here for him,” Vieve said. Katya groaned.
“No, I came here to see if you were in on his little plot to drive me batshit insane,” she explained.
“Oh. Um, that would be a no. I have not heard any plan for insanity. Maybe you should tell me what, exactly, is going on between you two.”
“I really don't think you want to hear about all that,” Katya waved her hand as she spoke. “I've been awkward enough, I should just go. I just … I don't know, like I said, I had to know that this wasn't all some Illuminati master plan to destroy me.”
“Nope. I forgot to pay my Illuminati dues. But I'm an exceptional listener, and I like to help people, and I know Wulfric pretty well, I could offer some insight. It's not good to leave it
all bottled up,” Vieve insisted in that earnest way she had.
So Katya did just that – leaving out the dirtier and nastier details. She figured a sister didn't need to hear the kind of nasty language and activities Wulf was prone to. She also didn't want to make him out to be a monster to his family, Katya wasn't that mean.
She explained how she and Wulf had met, him tricking her into that first date, then just showing up at her house or job whenever he felt like it. Forcing his way inside her life. Into her heart. Then she glossed over the horrific train crash of an ending and wrapped it up with the current events.
“And then I walked downstairs yesterday, and found him moving into my building. He told me you were living here, and he was giving you space, so of course I kind of thought maybe you were working together,” Katya finished explaining. Vieve nodded. She'd moved to sit on a stool next to Katya.
“We're not, uh, 'working together', but I have to ask you – if we were, if this was some elaborate plan for him to get you back, do you think I'd work against him and help you?” Vieve asked. It wasn't said with any malice or in any sort of tone, just a genuine question. Katya was pretty sure Vieve didn't have a mean or nasty bone in her body.
“No, and that's not what I'm here to ask or anything. I just wanted … I don't know, a heads up. To know where you stand. We're sort of friends, I'm sure we would've wound up in each others space at some point. I would hate to think someone else was keeping crazy secrets from me. It was … the worst feeling. If you're his new best friend, fine. If you don't plan on spending a lot of time with him, cool. I just want to know so I'm not caught in the middle again,” Katya explained. Vieve smiled.
“I don't think Wulf's ever had a best friend, and if he did, it certainly wouldn't be me. There's no diabolical plan to get you back and I'm not keeping any crazy secrets for him. Though to be totally honest, I gotta say, I'm kind of rooting for him. He sounded … happier when he was with you. I hope things work out.”
The Neighborhood (Twin Estates #2) Page 5
