“That’s crap.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“You were just around some miserable human beings. Love isn’t conditional like that, Ruin. If they’d cared for you, if she’d loved you, it wouldn’t have mattered that you couldn’t bring their brother back. People live. People die.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she wanted to beat him to any self-recrimination. “I don’t blame you for not bringing my brother back. It’s not your fault he died. These things happen.”
Snapping his mouth shut, he nodded.
Phoebe waited for him to say something, but eventually the silence got to her. “So, that was your last relationship?”
“That was it. I’ve been with women now and again, but never for long. They get emotional and attached.” He wasn’t meeting her eyes anymore. That couldn’t be good, could it? Not for anything more than friendship between them, anyway. “They might expect things—like they’d expected me to marry Magda. I never intended to.” He met her gaze.
It stung, but she weathered it with a wry smile, even if her heart hurt. “Well, I certainly don’t expect that.” Though, she might have settled for what he’d termed a “physical companionship,” as pathetic as that was. She had it bad for Ruin Angelus and the story he’d just told her had the moral of: don’t pin your hopes on Ruin Angelus because he’s not the type to stick around.
“Because we’re just friends.”
“Yes.” Damn him. It was like he’d opened up a wound and poured lemon juice in it. She flashed her super bright, near-neon smile at him before leaning forward and grabbing the remote from the coffee table. “How about we watch TV? I think if I had that pumpkin pie right now, I might explode.”
“We wouldn’t want that.” His smile looked as pasted-on as her own.
“No, we wouldn’t want that.” Operation Seduce Ruin had some... flaws. Time to plot out a new course of action.
Sharing that story with her seemed to clear the air between them. She finally understood why it was inadvisable for them to have a relationship. In his opinion. On most days.
Then there were cold December days where he watched her at her brother’s graveside and wanted to break every rule he’d set in place. Like when she looked so beautiful and ethereal as she knelt in front of Phillip’s grave. The light wind kept picking up her hair and tossing it in her eyes. She gathered it, twisted it, and pulled it onto her shoulder, but the wind picked it up immediately. He could watch her for hours... and he had.
It was still a bad idea.
As much as she’d said her brother’s death wasn’t his fault, he knew he was to blame. He’d killed her brother. There was no way she’d stay with him if he told her and so he was greedily spending time with her before it was too late.
She looked around and spotted him on the hill.
Usually he kept out of her sight, but he was making less of an effort to stay away from her as their time wound down. Two weeks left. They had two weeks left.
Phoebe gestured him to join her—which he hurried to do with a pathetic eagerness.
“I didn’t want to intrude,” he said when he reached her.
She rolled her eyes. “As if you could.”
This casual acceptance of him was going to end soon and that made him feel hollow inside.
“I wanted to tell you my big news.”
“What big news?”
She was almost dancing in place and her smile was wide. It made him smile. “I won a trip to this lodge up in the mountains—it’s like a nine or ten hour drive from here. For me and a guest. It’s for Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day. It looks fantastic. They have all these cool activities and the lodge is all decorated from floor to ceiling.”
“You won it?” Well that was... lucky.
She nodded. “We just have to get there and the rest, including most meals, is included.”
“We?”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Well, that’s what I wanted to ask you.” He’d never seen her shy like this. She was avoiding his gaze and biting her lower lip. “I was thinking that it’d be boring to go by myself, and Lia has her family and her husband and you don’t have anything to do... as far as I know. I mean, I guess you do plenty of stuff when you’re not around me, so maybe you do.”
“So, we’d go together?”
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “As friends I mean.”
“As friends,” he repeated.
“Lia said she’d watch Poseidon. So, you don’t have to worry about him.”
Ruin nodded. There was no reason he shouldn’t go, and he couldn’t give up on these final two weeks with her. It was unthinkable. On the other hand, how could he keep his emotional distance in close quarters? “There’s one room?”
She nodded. “But two beds.” She twirled her finger in a strand of her hair. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I could go by myself. I could take a bunch of books with me. Or maybe DVDs.”
“No, I want to go.”
“As friends?” She looked up and stared hard at him.
He examined her face, looking for clues as to how she felt. This was getting complicated. Chances were, he wouldn’t be able to withstand deepening their relationship if they were shut up in a quaint lodge room together. Was that what she wanted?
“Whatever you want,” he said finally and her smile returned.
“Whatever I want? Really?”
He shrugged. They had two weeks left together. He wasn’t going to waste them. If he was burned again, at least he’d walked into it with his eyes open this time. He was more concerned about Phoebe’s feelings. He didn’t know what was best for her. Not anymore. “Whatever you want.”
Squealing, she dove at him in a hug that nearly knocked him backward. Wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, wishing they could stay just like this forever.
They heard the tap, tap, tap of someone approaching and turned to see an elderly woman glaring at them from the sidewalk as she walked by them, leaning heavily on a cane. “Freaks,” she muttered, looking pointedly at their close bodies.
He went to pull back but Phoebe didn’t let him loose. She wrapped her arms tighter around him and set her head on his chest. “Thank you, Ruin. I know you probably think this is a huge mistake, but... thank you.” Leaning back, she lifted onto her tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “It’ll be fun. I promise. It’ll be the best Christmas ever.”
Since he’d never really experienced a Christmas before, that wasn’t a hard thing to accomplish. Still, it should be fun. Hopefully.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Their first glimpse of the lodge had her squealing and squirming in her seat. This was going to be so perfect. How could anyone not fall in love in such an idyllic setting? Surely anybody confronted with so much holiday cheer and under the influence of so much mistletoe would give in to his true feelings.
Ruin cared about her. She knew it. He even cared a great deal. He just had to see that friendship was a pale imitation of what they could have if only he’d open his eyes and take a chance. Operation Seduce Ruin was back on track.
“It’s gorgeous,” she said. “Especially all snow-covered like this. Snow just always screams Christmas to me. When it snows after Christmas, I feel like the weather is confused and thinks it’s Christmas.”
He gave Phoebe a strange look. She probably deserved it. Okay, so she was a little nervous. Her plan to seduce the man who’d become her best friend might go so wrong.
This could all blow up in her face.
He grabbed her bag from the trunk when he picked up his own. You didn’t do that if you were just friends, did you? Phoebe smacked her forehead. Stop reading between the lines on everything.
“Are you okay?” Ruin asked, sounding amused.
“I’m fine. I just think I may have... forgotten something.” Like how to act normally around him.
“You know I can call into existence anything you forgot.”
Not my pri
de or patience. “Okay.”
He nodded at her—as if that was taken care of. If only he knew. Really, this plan had sounded much better in the theoretical stage when she and Lia were giggling over it and making ridiculous suggestions. This might go as poorly as those fishnet stockings. Those fishnet stockings might be a sad metaphor for Operation Seduce Ruin. It looked great from the outside, but, in reality, it was seriously uncomfortable and her pride took a nasty hit.
A loud crash rumbled inside the building as Ruin reached for the door. They both paused.
Wow, when she’d wondered if this was going to blow up in her face—she hadn’t expected sound effects. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn around and head back.
This could be bad. Why had she thought this could work?
Oh hell. Abort! Abort!
“I wonder what that was.” Ruin opened the door before she could stop him.
Just inside, a huge antler chandelier was on the ground in pieces.
“Geez, lucky we didn’t walk in a minute sooner, huh?”
“What the hell?” Ruin muttered as she went to check it out.
This was just crazy. Of all the times for a chandelier to fall from the sky... it was just before they came in. What were the odds? Maybe it was an omen that her whole plan was about to come crashing down around her ears. She took a deep breath and exhaled. It was going to be fine.
She turned to see Ruin talking with another man... his height and build and, wow, they could be brothers.
She went to Ruin’s side just as he asked, “You’re not here for Phoebe then?”
Phoebe stared at the new guy. For her? Why would he be here for her? Was he another angel?
“No. Zeit and Hannah gave us their room here—with Hannah so close to having the child.” He cleared his throat. Turning to her, he said, “My name is Tempus. Are you marked for death also?”
Phoebe’s mouth dropped open in a gasp. She looked at Ruin with wide eyes. “Also?”
Ruin scowled at him. “No. She isn’t. I’m just... watching over her.” He nodded toward the check-in counter where a tall redhead was signing a book while smiling at the elderly woman there. “Zeit mentioned you’ve been... saving her life this year. I’ll do what I can while I’m here.”
So, Tempus was another angel.
Ruin gestured at the fallen chandelier. “Lacey?”
“Yes. It’d probably be best if we didn’t get your mortal anywhere near mine,” Tempus said.
Ruin’s mortal? Her? It was weird to think of her as being his.
Ruin shrugged. “I think we can manage.” He frowned at the chandelier. “On second thought, maybe not.”
Tempus reached out and they clasped forearms rather than shaking and he nodded at her before heading toward the woman he’d called Lacey.
“What did any of that mean?” she asked when Tempus was out of earshot.
“The woman he’s with—Lacey—is marked for death. She was supposed to have died, but she didn’t. He’s attempting to... cheat her fate by keeping her alive. The chandelier fell because she was under it.”
“Obviously he moved her in time.”
Ruin nodded.
“So, he’s like you? An angel?”
Ruin wrinkled up his nose. “He’s like me. He’s my brother. Zeit mentioned he’d been staying near that mortal, Lacey, this year.”
“You’re all hanging with mortals right now, huh?” She nodded in the direction of the other woman with Tempus. “She looks nice. Maybe we could do something together.” It’d be awesome to have another woman to talk about these things with.
“We’d have to be careful. From what Zeit has said about his experience, there’ll be attempts on her life fairly frequently in the next week, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“So, I couldn’t go out to dinner with her alone?”
His answer was quick and firm. “No. Definitely not. It’d be too dangerous.”
Rats. Well, there went that idea of finally having a sounding board for this weird relationship with Ruin. Dealing with immortals was confusing. She’d hoped maybe Lacey could give her some pointers. She and Tempus seemed pretty cozy.
“Do you think they’re together?” she asked Ruin as they walked toward the check-in desk.
His incomprehension was almost adorable. “They’re together right now. You mean staying in the same room?”
“Something like that.”
“For her safety, I assume they are.”
She’d seen a glance Lacey had snuck over her shoulder at Tempus. It looked like the redhead was in the same boat she was. Tempus might be as clueless as Ruin... or as burnt on relationships with humans.
“Well, hello, you two,” the woman behind the counter said when she reached it. She could easily be her grandmother. Actually, given how crotchety her real grandmother had been, she might like this smiling white-haired woman better. “I’m Mrs. Cowper. You must be our lucky contest winners. And Mr. Halt just mentioned you’re related to the Geists.”
“How did you know we won the contest?” Phoebe asked as she bent to sign the guest registry.
“Oh, most of our guests are repeats for Christmas. It’s nice to see familiar faces year after year—like a big family who only gets together for Christmas. And you’re lucky enough to have actual family here.” She flashed Ruin a dimpled smile. “Funny old world, isn’t it? Though maybe that’s why you entered the contest.”
Phoebe glanced up. “Nope. It’s a coincidence. I didn’t even enter the contest. Someone put my name in with the radio station. I think it was a coworker—though she keeps denying it. And I don’t think Ruin knew Tempus was here before we arrived.”
“Ruin, Tempus, Zeit... what interesting names you all have! Your parents must have been very forward-thinking.”
Phoebe kept a straight face. “I’m sure.”
When they had their keys in hand and were heading toward the room, Phoebe asked him, “So, how much of a coincidence is it that you and Tempus are here at the same time? Do you have a lot of brothers?” Finally, an opening to get that question answered.
He frowned. “Not so many that this should happen.”
She kept her sigh quiet, but it was still frustrating. Ruin was wrapped up in secrets and prying them out one by one was exhausting and, often, fruitless. When the door opened, all her misgivings returned.
“You don’t have to stay,” she said. Where had that come from? She fought the urge to slap her hands over her mouth to prevent anything else slipping out.
Ruin turned to her with his eyebrows raised.
She closed her eyes in a long blink before meeting his gaze. Breathe in. Breathe out. “If you’re not comfortable here with me, you don’t have to stay.” One room with Ruin in it. Ruin and two beds.
He tipped his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” He barely got his question out before she answered. She didn’t want him to leave. She twisted her hands together while biting her lip. “It’s just that I may have guilted you into coming and now that we’re here... well, I don’t want you to stay if you don’t want to stay.”
He set down the bags and stepped forward, making her catch her breath. Cradling her face in his warm hands, he said, “Phoebe, I promise you—I want to be here.”
“With me?”
“With you.”
If they were any other couple, standing this close—it’d result in kissing. But they were just friends. And she hated that a little.
She licked her lips.
Ruin closed his eyes and took a step back, dropping his hands. No way could it be that easy. He had all these secrets and she was here—with her heart on her sleeve.
This holiday was going to kill her.
She was irresistible. It was just a matter of time until he gave in. He was plumbing unknown reserves of fortitude in stepping back. He doubted he’d hidden his inner panic when she’d suggested he could leave if he wanted to.
Before anything happened, he should tell her about his role in her brother’s death.
But not yet. He wanted her to have a good Christmas. She deserved that. Hell, she deserved that and more. She certainly deserved better than him.
With what appeared to be a look of disappointment, Phoebe went over to a table and picked up a piece of paper. “Here’s all the listed events.” She sniffed and bit her lip while slowly shaking her head.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Umm. Nothing. Nothing is wrong.” She pointed at the paper. “Tonight, there is caroling and they’re putting the star up on the tree. There’s a visit with Santa where he reads Twas the Night Before Christmas. Oh, and gifts from Santa if you’ve been good this year.” She looked at him. “Have you been good this year, Ruin?”
If only she knew. “Not really.”
She laughed. “Well, hopefully nobody told Santa or no gift for you.” She walked over to his side and showed him the itinerary. “What are you interested in?” Her fingertip skimmed down the list and she bit her lip as she concentrated.
If only all her nervous habits weren’t so damn sensual. He was interested in her. Absurdly so. “I’ve never done any of it, so I’ll let you pick.”
She pursed that amazing mouth of hers. “Well, you may not have noticed, but I have a terrible singing voice.”
He grinned. “You’ve run off to take a shower while I’ve cooked us dinner often enough that I do know that.” It was endearing that her singing was so terrible.
These last few months of being with her had been the most incredible he’d experienced. She’d taught him how to cook and he’d stayed late watching movies at her place. Going back to his condo every night so she could sleep had gotten more difficult with every trip. The time between when he saw her again moved impossibly slow. If only he could speed up time. Though, that would have gotten them to their final week together sooner.
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