Ruin scowled. “No, you have to let me help you.”
“You can. You can help me pick out a new place.” She wasn’t going to put this on anyone else. She’d been self-sufficient her entire adult life. She could handle selling her childhood home to pay off her deceased brother’s medical bills. It was just a load of wood and bricks. Everything important was built in her heart.
“Phoebe! When I leave my place, I’m just going to give it to someone. I can pay off whatever debt you have.”
“When you leave? Where are you going?” A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. If he was getting rid of his condo, he wasn’t going to be close.
“Nowhere. I just…” He didn’t finish the thought.
“You’re leaving town... because you’re done with me?” She knew it’d happen eventually. He was with her because she’d lost her brother. Guardian angels probably didn’t stick around forever. On the other hand, he’d made plans. He’d already decided what he was doing with his condo.
He opened his mouth to answer and closed it again.
“When?” She blinked rapidly. She wouldn’t cry in front of him.
“I don’t know.”
“But you are planning on it? On just walking away from me?” Why had she thought she wasn’t the next cautionary tale of the girl who got too close? In a hundred years, she’d be the stupid mortal who got too attached because he’d stayed with her too long.
He shrugged, holding his hands up. “I don’t know. I’d planned on a date but then I changed my mind.”
“What date?”
“New Year’s.”
She stared at him and swallowed the thick lump in her throat. He was going to leave her on the anniversary of the day her brother died? And she was supposed to not fall apart? Only a man would pick that day. Even immortal males were clueless, apparently. “When did you change your mind?”
“Does it matter?”
Was he joking? Of course it mattered. If it was six months ago, she could say he just didn’t know her. “Before or after we came here?”
He pushed out of his seat. “It doesn’t matter.”
“So, it was after.” If it was before, he would have said. She stood up too. “No wonder you keep pushing me away. You only had to finish this job this week and then you’d be gone. Here I thought I was inviting my best friend on a trip with me, and you were just completing a job. This was going to be one last hurrah for you. Why did I think I meant more to you than that?” She was so stupid. This was a mistake. He may have changed his mind on the date, but who’s to say it was for much longer? He was still planning on giving away his condo.
“Phoebe, it’s not like that.” To his credit, he looked upset, but not nearly as upset as her. Because he couldn’t be. He’d ripped her heart out with just a few words.
Shaking her head, she stepped away from him with her hands out. “I can’t do this. I’m going for a walk.”
She snatched her key off the dresser and stormed out the door blindly. It took her several minutes of numb shock before she actually noticed her surroundings. She was near where they’d had the snowball fight. Shoving her hands in her pockets, Phoebe leaned up against a tree trunk and stared up at the night sky. A shooting star streaked across it.
“Once upon a time, I would have wished on that,” she said aloud, throwing her hands in the air. “But obviously I’m in a wish-free zone because I’m wearing a good luck charm,” she fingered the wishbone necklace, “and all I’ll I’ve wished for on every star, on every penny in a fountain, on that stupid wishbone... is sitting back in that lodge wondering how soon he can get away from me.”
She pointed back at the lodge. “Hell, he may have already run off, screaming. You took my brother. I deserve one good thing, and he’s my good thing. I wish for him. Not for another week or a month, but for forever—or my lifetime. I know it’s a big wish, but you took the last damn person who cared about me a year ago, and I deserve a replacement. Because I’m a good person. I take food to people. I pay my taxes. I even keep the tags on my mattresses. And, now, I’m yelling... at stars. Great. I’ve lost my mind.”
Closing her eyes, Phoebe leaned against the tree and took a deep breath. It was going to be fine. Really.
He called Zeit.
“It’s Christmas,” Zeit said flatly when he answered. “I know you’ve had some issues, Tempus, but you’ll just have to figure out mortal women on your own.”
“It’s Ruin.”
There was shocked silence. “But you’re calling from the lodge.”
“We ended up here too.”
“You and…?”
“Phoebe. I told you about her.” He’d called his brother a half-dozen times this year for advice.
“Have you told her about you?” Zeit had been a bit of a proponent of telling Phoebe he wasn’t a guardian angel. It was easy for him to say; Zeit hadn’t taken her brother’s life.
“No. Not yet. I was waiting until after Christmas.”
“Because Christmas is special and you didn’t want to ruin it,” Zeit said with a thick layer of sarcasm.
He rolled his eyes. “Look, I messed up. She figured out that I was planning on walking away from her when she seemed better.” In retrospect, a year would have been too little time anyway.
“And? It seems like her finding that out gives you the opportunity.”
“I changed my mind. I don’t want to leave her.” He took a deep breath. “I might... want to do what you did.”
“What I did?”
He looked around and lowered his voice. “I might want to become mortal so I can be with her.” He felt like he was tempting fate... or the Fates.
Zeit was silent again.
“It’s worth it, right?”
“If you have to ask that…”
Ruin swore under his breath. He was sure. He was. It was just... she might not want that after he told her the truth. With how she’d reacted to this latest thing, he just couldn’t anticipate what she’d think of the rest of it. “Look, I actually called to find out if I should go after her or not. She just left here... mad as hell. Do I wait? Do I go after her?”
“Well, obviously, you should probably… Hang on, let me ask Hannah.”
Ruin paced impatiently as he waited for Zeit to explain the situation.
“She says you always go after women.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Wait, why are you at the lodge? I don’t even remember mentioning the place to you.”
“Phoebe won a trip here from a radio station in a contest she didn’t even enter.”
“That sounds like... not a coincidence. You haven’t had to save her life yet, have you?”
A frisson of fear passed through him. What if something was happening right now? “No, but I’ve got to go.”
“Do you still have your powers to summon and stop time?”
He quickly tried both. “Yes, but I can feel pain. What does that mean?”
“It means summon yourself some clothes because you might be mortal before you know it and laundry is hell.”
“I might lose my powers?”
Zeit snorted. “That’s how it started for me. Think of this as a test run, little brother. If you want to be mortal, you’re on a stopwatch anyway.”
“Okay. Fine. But I should definitely go after Phoebe?”
“Yes. And watch your back. This is either Father or the Fates... and you better hope it’s Father.”
“Thanks.” He hung up and grabbed Phoebe’s jacket that she’d left behind. She was probably freezing.
The five minutes it took to find her were an eternity.
She looked beautiful leaning against a tree with her face turned up to the stars. Her body shimmered from the frosty cold, though.
“Phoebe?” he asked as he approached her.
She opened her teary eyes and watched him.
“You must be cold,” he said, pulling her coat across her shoulders.
Her lips parted
and she sniffed. “That’s it? You were worried I was cold?”
“No. I’m an absolute ass.” He cradled her face in his hands, tunneling his fingers through her blonde hair. “I am so sorry. I don’t think I’ve intended to leave you for a very long time. I just took a while to realize it.”
“You were going to leave me on New Year’s Day—of all days—because of course that day I don’t associate with loss at all. Then, you were just going to skip town without a goodbye.” Oh, hell, he hadn’t even thought of that. A year had just seemed a natural stopping point... like a round number.
“No. Never. That’s why I hadn’t told you.”
“How long are you staying then?”
She had a right to know. She’d called him her “best friend” and he’d never meant that much to anyone, but he still had to tell her about her brother. “I’m not planning on leaving you at all.”
“You mean you’re not planning on it? Or it’s not happening?” Trust Phoebe to see the distinction.
He sighed. “I’m trying to figure things out. I just need... to see how the next few days go.”
She raised her eyebrows. “To see if I’m worth it?”
“No, to see if I’m good for you... or good at being mortal.” He rubbed his thumb across her cheek. “Right now, all I seem to do is make you cry.” He kissed her other cheek where a tear was glistening.
“Mmm,” she said, closing her eyes.
His lips lingered, inches from hers. He pressed a kiss against the corner of her mouth.
She smiled and whispered, “Tease.”
He rested his forehead against her, closing his eyes too. “I need to tell you something.”
“What?” Her tone was wary and she stilled beside him.
“I’m not an angel.” There. He’d said it. Finally.
She sighed. “I know you’re not perfect and if you’re blowing hot and cold because you’re trying to be more righteous…”
Laughing, he lifted his head. “No, I mean I’m literally not an angel.” It was such a relief to finally say it. He’d need to tell her about her brother soon, but this was at least something.
She stared at him, frowning.
“I’m a time holder, one of Father Time’s sons. I can control time and change fate... sometimes.”
“My brother said you were a guardian angel.”
“He told me it was an easier explanation. My father had appeared to him in a dream and told him I was coming. He made me promise to look after you—to be your friend. I’m immortal and I help mortals when I can by providing them a few seconds here and there, but I’m not... angelic. In fact, letting you believe I was is probably a serious sin that I should repent of.”
Reaching up, she put both her hands on his cheeks while meeting his gaze. “I’ve never been more grateful for anything in my life, you moron. I was about to take up Catholicism just so I could go to confession because I wasn’t sure how to deal with lusting after an angel. Do you have any idea how much this has restored my faith? I just want to smack you.”
“Restored your faith?”
She gave him a wry look. “You double-dip, leave the toilet seat up, swear like a sailor, like gory movies about zombies, and I’m pretty sure that joke you told me last week was a sin all by itself.” She dropped her hands and stepped back to lean against the tree again while shaking her head. “I can’t believe you let me think that for an entire year. Now I won’t feel guilty about this desire to strangle you.” She growled softly. “Ugh. You are such an idiot. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I liked it better when you were lusting after me actually.” He wasn’t sure if she still was. She’d hidden it fairly well. There were moments where he’d see the heat in her eyes, but she hadn’t made any moves to indicate she still wanted him like she once had.
She shook her head and looked off into the distance. “I could just kick you.”
“You can... and since I’ve started to feel pain, it might be more satisfying than the previous times you’ve tried.”
“Oh, trust me, where I want to kick you might not leave either of us satisfied in the long term.” She jerked her head back to facing him and narrowed her eyes. “If this is why you’ve insisted we stay just friends... because you hadn’t told me the truth…”
“No. I uhh…” He sighed. “Your brother asked me to be your friend and I thought I’d be moving on at the time—it seemed wrong. Plus, my history with mortal relationships hasn’t been... favorable.”
That seemed to relax her. “Ruin, not everyone is like that. I’m not like that. You know I’m not.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “I know but mortals are... changeable.”
“And immortals are generalizing, stubborn, incomprehensible freaks.” She pushed off the tree. “I’m going back to the room. It’s cold out here.” She walked forward a few steps before stopping and looking over her shoulder. Holding her hand out for him to take, she asked, “Are you coming?”
Grinning, Ruin reached out and took her hand.
“Sit,” she said, pointing at the armchair in front of the TV.
He sat but raised his eyebrows.
She sat down on his lap, causing his eyes to widen. Yeah. This was happening. “We’re going to be more than friends going forward... now that I know this isn’t some sort of moral eternal soul issue.”
“More than best friends?”
Sometimes, his clarifications were very telling. He was nervous about ruining the first close relationship he’d had. “Best friends with benefits.”
He smiled, but it slipped away immediately. “We should go slow—in case you change your mind... after you get to know me.”
Seriously, she wanted to shake him. She wasn’t the big holdout here so why would she change her mind? Not to mention, she already knew him pretty well—aside from the biblical sense. “I haven’t exactly ripped off your clothes and screwed you blind yet. I’d call that going slow.” Also... the past year. Who worked up to more than two, albeit fabulous, kisses for an entire year? It was probably even slow by Amish standards.
He looked dubious.
She had to remind herself how much she loved this stupid man. A lot.
“Fine. You’re in charge. Go whatever speed you want.” She went to get up, but Ruin wrapped his arms tight around her.
“No. Stay. I like this.”
Sighing, she relaxed... a little. “Prude,” she muttered as she lay her head on his chest. It was nice—it could just be a whole lot nicer.
He rubbed a hand down her back in a long stroke. Okay, this wasn’t so bad.
“Can we watch commercials?” he asked softly.
“You say the sweetest things. You’ve really got this romance thing down.”
He chuckled and it rumbled against her ear. “No, I need clothes. Zeit says I might be mortal soon, and I don’t want to do laundry.”
Phoebe froze. “Okay, we skipped a whole lot of conversations.” She lifted her head. “What do you mean you’re going to be mortal soon?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “I guess that’s why I can feel pain. Zeit said I’ll lose my powers next.”
She swallowed thickly. All these crazy emotions were bouncing around inside her. He was going to be mortal? “So... um... did you choose that?” Had he chosen to be mortal to be with her? Like his brother?
He shook his head and her heart fell. She was going to be a wreck after this. If he wasn’t choosing to be mortal, maybe it was a punishment or it might just feel like one.
“Why are you becoming mortal then?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Either my father or the Fates are doing it.”
“The Fates?”
“I work for the Fates. It’s what I do when I’m not with you. I have the ability to stop time in order to change fate, but I guess that’ll be gone soon.”
“Forever?”
He shrugged.
“Okay, so other than laundry, how do you feel about that? I mean, if it is f
orever?”
He shrugged again. “It’s all I know, so I guess we’ll see.”
“Is it because of us... because of me?”
“You’re the only thing that has changed in my life.”
So, yes, it was. Because of her, Ruin was becoming mortal... possibly forever... possibly until he got sick of it and dumped her. Could this relationship get any more complicated? What if he hated it? He might.
“How do you feel about that?”
She blinked and met his gaze. “What do you mean?”
His smile wasn’t really a smile. “You’ve only known me like this.”
She punched him in the shoulder.
“Ow!”
Yeah, she was glad he could feel pain. “You moron! I like you because you’re you... despite your fancy powers, not because of them.” The nerve! Just because people had used him in his past, didn’t mean she would. It was like he didn’t know her at all.
She went to get up, but his arms tightened around her, and then he leaned in and pressed his mouth against hers.
He had her full support immediately. Operation Seduce Ruin was a go!
“Mmm,” she said as she slid her fingers up along his jaw to tangle in his hair. If he tried to get away, she was prepared to pull hair.
His lips pushed hers open and his tongue brushed hers. Oh, whoa. Her hands jerked in his hair, and he moaned a sound of approval. She scraped her nails across his scalp as he deepened the kiss.
“So glad you’re not an angel,” she murmured when he brushed kisses along her jaw. Her breathing was rough and ragged but his didn’t sound even close to normal either. If she didn’t think it would scare him, she’d tell him how much she loved him... how she’d fantasized about this while sitting beside him on the couch, night after night—how her fantasies couldn’t even begin to compare to his slow seductive kissing.
“I really need more clothes,” he whispered as he kissed below her ear.
“No. Less clothes.” She worked her arms between him and tugged up on his shirt. The shirt had to go.
“No, I meant…”
“Doesn’t matter what you meant.” She sat up and shifted to be astride him. “Take it off, Mr. Angelus, or I take mine off.” Knowing he was a prude, that’d motivate him differently than other men.
Servants of Fate Page 28
