It wasn’t I love you. It was nice, but it wasn’t I love you. If anything, it was a bit obsessive and possessive—which is about how he looked too. He dropped his hands and started pacing.
“I guess at least we’ll be together.” There had to be an upside to this.
“I’m not sure we should be. I think you’d be better off if we’d never met.” He kept pacing.
Hell of a way to end the best week of her life. “There’s supposed to be a blizzard,” she said tonelessly. “It’s supposed to hit later today. I heard the Cowpers discussing it with that nice doctor and his wife who beat us in the snowman contest. I was kind of hoping we’d get snowed-in and have to stay an extra few days.” Wow, had that turned out to be a pipe dream.
“So, it wouldn’t seem strange for us to try to get ahead of it.”
She shook her head and closed her eyes against the tears gathering. It was all going so well and normal. It was magical in a non-magical way. She was going to be able to brag to Lia about everything that had happened. Now everything was dire and mystical and a secret. And, on top of it all, it had to be the anniversary of Phillip’s death. She figured there’d be a few emotional meltdowns, but she was due a few. It’d been months since she’d had a good hard cryfest that left her looking haggard and rundown.
But no. Fate had other ideas. Or the Fates. Or maybe it was Father Time... or maybe it was just all in Ruin’s mind and he was being paranoid. Who the hell knew? And he probably wouldn’t answer, even if she asked.
Turning away, she grabbed her bag on the way to the bathroom. If she was going to bawl her eyes out over an awful, lousy, horrible day, she was going to do it in the shower where she wouldn’t have to explain it to Ruin.
“Where are you going?”
She didn’t answer. He’d figure it out. She shut the bathroom door and turned on the shower immediately and then she leaned on the sink and let the tears drop onto the porcelain vanity.
Her wishbone necklace swung in front of her vision, and she unclasped it... and threw it at the mirror. It pinged off and fell into the sink. It was deeply dissatisfying and set off a panic that it’d fall down the drain. Hurriedly retrieving it, she set it in the soap dish.
“You failed me,” she told it. Because it should know. She obviously sucked at wishing. Also she was beginning to see why Ruin’s name meant what it did.
That could have gone better. What had he said there at the end? He didn’t even know. It hadn’t been good whatever he’d said. It was just such a shock. How the hell was it fair that Phoebe was Tempus’s mortal sacrifice for the year and Lacey was his? They’d taken away his powers to stop time and summon, but he could still kill? He knew he’d retained that power, could feel the potential. The Fates were sick.
Her name was playing on repeat in his head. “Lacey Carpenter, age thirty,” and then their room number in the lodge. Lacey Carpenter. Lacey Carpenter. And the thud of every second leading up to midnight when he was meant to take her life. It was hell every year, but, this year, it was even worse. Somehow, he’d convinced himself that there wouldn’t be a name for him, that he wouldn’t have a mortal sacrifice. Of course he did. Bad enough that his was Lacey... at least Tempus had already been helping her escape death for one year. How was he supposed to do the same for Phoebe when he was mortal?
It was impossible.
The whole situation was…
He heard what sounded like a sob from the bathroom. He closed his eyes, swearing under his breath. What had he said? She’d been already a little melancholy when he’d awakened. He’d expected that as it was... hell, it was a year since her brother’s death. No wonder she was upset. On top of that, he was trying to drag her out of here without a reasonable explanation.
If he explained she was marked for death—he’d have to explain what that meant, and what that meant was that he was a murderer.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“The blizzard is getting worse.”
Ruin sighed and gripped the steering wheel tighter. He was driving impossibly slow and it still felt like they were in the middle of a white-out. She couldn’t see anything. It was amazing he could. And it’d been this way for hours. If they’d been able to talk that would have been something, but he needed to concentrate on the road.
Awkward silence for hours exacerbated by the stress of the situation and Phoebe was about to start screaming and screaming.
“I’m sorry,” Ruin said. “I must seem crazy to you.”
“A little bit. Yeah.” Might as well be honest.
“We should get off the road and find a place to wait this out. It’s getting dark and that’ll make visibility worse. There has to be something up ahead.”
“You mean like someplace warm? Where we had our own Christmas tree? And down comforters?” Okay, she was getting a little catty but, dammit, they’d had a sweet deal and she’d won that. She never won anything. It was like she’d been treating him and he’d thrown her gift back in her face and offered her lame explanations and dire predictions in return.
“I see a light up ahead.”
“With our luck, it’s a train.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t tempt the Fates,” he said sharply.
She looked out the window and just let the tears drip down her face. From heaven to hell in a matter of hours.
“I’m sorry again, Phoebe. It looks like cabin rentals. I can see if they have a vacancy.” The car crept toward the lit office.
“There’s a big secret you’re keeping from me,” she said as he parked. “Don’t think I don’t know that. Tonight, you’re telling me whatever it is and if I never want to see you again well that’s my choice.” She couldn’t imagine that, but the way he was acting… “I came with you, but this is as far as I go without an explanation.”
“Okay.” He reached out and took her hands. When she turned to him, he lifted a hand and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I made an awful day for you even worse.”
She shrugged.
“After we’re someplace warm and dry, I’ll let you pinch me as much as you’d like.”
She forced a weak smile. “And you’ll explain.”
His shoulders drooped. “And I’ll explain. Stay here and I’ll see if they have a place.”
The ferocity of the blizzard made opening his door difficult and caused a snowstorm inside the car that left her shivering as she watched him run for the office—sliding on the slick sidewalk.
She should really cut him some slack, but the hours in the car had eroded what little good humor she had.
He was back a few minutes later, ducking into the car. “They had a bunch of cancellations due to the blizzard. I’ve got us a cabin just over there. It’s got electricity and running water. Only one bedroom, but I can sleep on the couch... or outside.”
Another attempt at a smile. “Let’s go check it out.”
It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t the lodge. It was far more primitive. A log cabin with two rooms. The main room had log furniture—a couch, a couple of end tables, and then a small kitchen. The bedroom barely held the queen bed and the bathroom was cramped quarters. It was cold, but clean. After hours in the car, it seemed perfect... maybe even a little romantic. Just the two of them. Here. In a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
“Stay in here and I’ll go get our bags and start a fire.” He nodded at the firewood stacked in the corner. “It looks like we have plenty of wood at least.”
“I can start a fire.”
She had a sputtering fire going by the time he returned. He sat down beside her in front of it.
“It’s kind of pathetic,” she said, gesturing at the fire.
He tipped his head. “It’s got character. I’ve never seen anyone arrange logs that way.”
She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
Ruin wrapped his arm around her. “Have I been demoted from boyfriend back to friend... or maybe even to acquaintance?”
“No, you saved yourself by sayi
ng the fire had character.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Phoebe, I’ve been a maniac today, haven’t I?”
“You’ll get no argument from me.”
Ruin laughed, and it did a lot to restore her mood. He didn’t seem to laugh often in the beginning, but she made him laugh all the time.
“Was all this really necessary?”
“I just wanted you to be safe.”
“Locking us in our room wasn’t enough?”
“I guess I wanted at least the illusion of distance.” He pulled her onto his lap. He pushed her hair from her face before kissing her forehead and then trailing kisses down along her temple to her cheek. “I’ve been acting on instinct today,” he said as he kissed the corner of her mouth.
“Your instincts are terrible. You wanted us to stay just friends.” She turned her head and caught his mouth for a kiss.
He pulled back and the light from the fire flickered across his face. His dark eyes looked bright with flames, but the heat in them was all from him. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Me neither.”
Mrs. Cowper had insisted they take a bunch of food with them if they were braving the blizzard, so they had sandwiches and soup for dinner. Ruin kept the fire built up until the whole cabin was warm and inviting.
“I think I was wrong,” Phoebe said as they were playing a game of checkers.
“Good to hear. What about?”
She punched him in the arm. “I think this cabin might be just as nice as spending the night at the lodge. If we were there, we would have felt obligated to go to that big party and I’m not really in the mood for that.”
“No?”
“No. I think tonight might always be a rough night for me due to Phillip. I think I might never want to be in a big crowd for a celebration.” She looked at the clock. “Twenty minutes left.”
Ruin picked up the checkerboard and set it behind him on the end table before reaching out and grabbing her hands. “I need to tell you something.”
She could swear the thudding of her heart was audible. Swallowing, Phoebe said, “Okay. Go ahead.” Now that they were here, she didn’t want to know. She had the strangest feeling of disassociation; it was almost as if she was watching from outside the scene. Whatever he was about to say would probably destroy this façade of normalcy the last few days had created. It was easy to pretend he was just a boy and she was just a girl, but Pandora’s box was about to open for real this time.
“Each of Father Time’s sons spends each year doing what I did, pausing time for mortals, giving them a minute here and there to change their fate. But we have to balance it out. We have to... trade for those minutes with the Fates. So, each year, each of us is given the name of someone on New Year’s Eve. This year, the name that’s been playing over and over in my head was Lacey Carpenter. All day. I know when they left their room to go to the ballroom two hours ago. I know when they went to dinner. I’ve known where she was all day today.”
“Okay. Stalkery, but okay.”
“Tempus woke up with your name in his head. Remember how I said that Lacey was marked for death? You are now marked too. That’s why I didn’t want you anywhere near him.”
She shook her head back and forth. “I don’t understand. Marked for death... you mean, he was going to kill me? Is that what you mean?” That couldn’t be right. That was horrible.
“Yes. Though it just takes a touch—at midnight. It’s a trade. One mortal’s future minutes for a whole population’s changed fate. One person for many.”
“And you have Lacey.”
“Yes.” He held fast on her hands when she went to jerk them free. “But I’m not going to do it. She was Tempus’s mortal sacrifice last year, but he refused... which is why she’s been cheating death all year. I’m not sure what happens after two passes on her life.”
“So, that’s what I’ll be doing this year? Cheating death all year?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’m going to offer something else in trade and see if it’s accepted. You don’t deserve to spend the whole next year cheating death.”
He had that right. “I don’t. It seems strange that they’d pick me... with me already being with you.”
“Yeah, I think maybe the Fates believe I’ve grown too attached.”
It almost made her smile—the thought of him growing attached to her. It was sweet. He still hadn’t said he loved her, but they had time. Hopefully. “You’d think I’d get a free pass on death considering—especially with Phillip…” She blinked and lifted her eyes to stare into his. “No.” She shook her head. She had to be wrong.
He grimaced.
She jerked her hands from his and got to her feet. “Last year, you were there at midnight. You were in his room.”
Pushing to his feet with a sigh, Ruin said, “Last year, your brother was my mortal sacrifice.”
It was like drinking acid. Her throat burned and her stomach clenched. She backed up. “All this time... and you never told me... you never said a word.”
“I never intended to stay with you like this. We don’t do that. Your brother asked me to.”
“Did he? Or was that just you stroking your conscience?”
He held his hands out. “I’ve never felt guilty before. One mortal for many. And your brother was dying. That should have made it easier, if anything. I stayed with you because Phillip asked me to and then because I couldn’t be without you. My conscience had nothing to do with it.”
She clenched her fists at her sides. “You... you... bastard. You never told me.”
“I didn’t want you to hate me.”
Phoebe kept backing toward the door, shaking her head. “I loved you. You were my friend... my best friend, and I thought... I thought…” She couldn’t say it. She’d pictured this perfect little life with him. Kids. Family. A life. “And all this time you’d killed my brother and you hadn’t told me. And you do this year after year. You steal people’s brothers and sisters and parents and children and... how could you do that? How can you live with it?”
Clenching his teeth, Ruin closed his eyes. A tear dropped from his eye and he didn’t answer when he’d opened them.
Her back bumped up against the front door and, without thinking, she spun, grabbed the door, and flung it open, plunging out into the snow.
“Phoebe!” Ruin yelled, but she ran—stumbled, really—until he sounded far away.
Then, she dropped to her knees in the snow and covered her face with her hands as she cried.
He’d backtracked to the cabin and was pulling out drawer after drawer, looking for a flashlight when his father appeared.
“No,” Ruin said. “You’re not taking Phoebe.”
“It’s time.” His father snapped his fingers. The sound of the storm ended as did the crackle of the fire as they stood there. “Tempus has refused to take her.” He looked around. “You didn’t need to go to such lengths to ensure that.”
“You’re not taking Phoebe. Ask the Fates to take me instead.”
“The Fates would rather have your services than your life.”
“Too bad. They should take what they can get because you’re not taking Phoebe.”
His father looked around again. “Where is Phoebe?”
“You know where she is—probably better than I do. She’s out in the storm. She ran away when she found out I took her brother last year. I promised her brother I’d look out for her and you know that. You arranged that. I promised her that she wouldn’t die—that she’d have the chance to pass on her memories to more family. Phoebe deserves to live... far more than I do.”
His father sighed and sat down on the couch. “What we do, Ruin, we do for balance. It was an agreement made with the Fates a long time ago. If not for our traded minutes, all of mankind would be at the mercy of the Fates. They’d be miserable and many more would die. However if they were never subject to the Fates, they’d grow numb to what happiness is. They need balance. Happiness. S
adness. Life. Death.” He pointed at Ruin. “You, my son, have never found that balance—up until this last year. I knew you needed someone to balance the dark in you and help you find the light. Phoebe Daniels needed the same. This year was my gift to you. From a father to his son.”
He had been happy this last year. It’d made up for so many years of mistrust and emptiness. Now it’d all come to an end.
“But the year is up, and the world needs balance also.” His father gave him a significant look. “Our minute of grace is here.”
He knew what he had to do. He was sure. He’d never been more sure. “My life in exchange for hers and you have to promise to watch out for her.”
His father smiled. “You remind me of Phillip.”
Ruin sighed. “She’ll never forgive me. I killed her brother.”
“She will. She loves you.”
“No. Not anymore.”
Father Time pushed to his feet. “Well, I suppose we shall see.” He stepped toward Ruin. “You give your life of your own free will?”
Ruin nodded. “In exchange for Phoebe’s. She lives until she’s one hundred.” He closed his eyes as he felt the pressure of his father’s hand on his chest.
When his father snapped his fingers and they were still in the cabin, Ruin frowned. “There you go. Same as the deal I made with your brothers. All your years outside of this lifetime.” He clapped his hands together. “Well, you should go collect your Phoebe. Give her this.” He lifted his hand to pass the wishbone necklace to Ruin. “She thought her wishes were being ignored. Tell her that I was just saving up for a big one.”
He took the necklace from his father and put it in his pocket.
Father Time pointed south. “She’s three hundred feet that way.” He nodded. “Now, I have to go see my new grandson. I’ve never had a grandson. I think I might like it. It’s a shame he can’t take up the family business.” He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. “As far as I know anyway, but this is a first and who knows what the Fates have in store for Zeit’s son. He was born at midnight after all.” They clasped forearms. “Good luck.”
Servants of Fate Page 30
