by Tiya Rayne
Wait!
“Whose fucking shirt are you wearing?”
Lilly looks down at her shirt as if she has no idea what I am talking about.
“And whose bed are you in?”
The moment Lilly backs away from me and starts to fidget with her hands, I knew I was about to lose my shit.
“I can explain.” She says, putting those gorgeous hazel eyes on me.
I cross my arms over my chest. I need to keep them busy. I feared that her answer would make me tear shit up in this pretentious ass room.
“I met this little girl,” she starts, and I have no idea what a child has to do with her in a man’s shirt. However, I’ve been around Lilly long enough to know that she takes the long way to explain anything.
She continues. “They’re orphans, hundreds of them. I took them food, because I thought they were hungry, but they weren’t. They are sick, Assassin. Not just sick…..but dying.” She starts to pace in front of me.
I know I should be asking questions about dying kids and sickness in the Locke, but I can’t focus on anything but that godsdamn shirt.
“I tried to help. I hope I helped them. I guess I got caught up with the children and lost track of time. When we got back to the alley Nevy was there and he was angry. He was going to kill them. He was even going to let Medina be raped again, but I stopped him.”
She stops pacing and turns to me.
“I was able to get through to him. Don’t you see what this means for us.” She walks up to me with that spark in her eyes she gets when she is excited about something.
“If I can break through Nevy’s walls, I can get him to call off this war. We won’t have to fight and no one else has to die.”
I stand before Lilly with my heart beating wildly in my chest. I see the determination in her eyes when she thinks of her plan. I love Lilly because she is strong, brave, kind, and generous. Yet, it is also those things that make her susceptible to the treachery of the Locke. My beautiful human has no idea how caught up in the Dark King’s web she is.
“He brought me back to his room for a bath and dinner.” She continues to explain. “I must have fallen asleep after we talked and he put me in his bed. You have to believe me that nothing happened.” Her eyes plead with me to believe her. “I love you, Azriel, and only you.”
I place my hand at the back of her neck and pull her into me. My lips find hers and I demand entrance into her mouth with a swipe of my tongue. I devour her lips taking from them the reassurance I needed that Lilly was indeed still mine.
I feel weak for actually needing that reassurance. I have never been a man that doubts himself. But with Lilly I am different.
She pulls away from the kiss to look up at me. I am lost in the love shining back at me.
“I miss you so much. I miss my boys too.”
I place a quick kiss on her luscious lips.
“Our boys are fine. They are sleeping right next to me at the moment.”
The smile that brightens her face has the power to strengthen and weaken me at the same time. I will do everything I can to protect Lilly. That means opening her eyes to how dangerous and foolish her plan is.
“Lilly, you have to abort this idea of yours. There is no redeeming the Dark King. He will never stop this war.”
She pulls out of my grasp, and the space between us hurts. I let my hands fall back to my sides.
“I know you don’t see it, but I do. There is another side to him…..”
“Which side of him left the bruise on your face?” my words, though not yelled, had the same bite as if I screamed them.
She looks down at her feet, then back up at me. “He didn’t mean to do it.”
Her words are nearly whispered, but the sound of them send rage through my veins.
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
I roar at her and she flinches. Her flinching only pours gasoline over my rage. I have never so much as raised a hand to Lilly, yet she flinches from me and defends that asshole.
“You are falling into his trap.” I grit through my teeth, trying to control my voice. “The only side the Dark king has, is the one that slaughtered my entire fucking family.”
“I never said he was not guilty of cruelty, but if you knew his story and the pain he carries with him…..”
“Are you listening to yourself?” I shake my head at her. “This is the man that threatened to kill your children. The same man that wants to force you to carry his. He killed Matthias and Augustus. Have you forgotten that? Or is there something else going on that I am missing?”
Could it be that Lilly is falling for the Dark King? Although it sounds absurd, it is hard to dismiss when his scent is all over her.
She looks at me stunned like my words have slapped her across the face.
“I have remembered everything he has done. I’ve mourned every friend I’ve lost because of him. I carry their memory in my heart daily. I’ve been pushed down, humiliated, strangled, had his hands on my body in places I did not want, and yes, I was also struck by him. So you do not have to remind me of his cruelty. I know it firsthand. I also know pain, hurt and loneliness when I see it. That is what’s in Nevy’s eyes. Every battle isn’t always won by war, Assassin.” Her face softens as she steps closer to me. “You have to trust me on this one. Tell me that you still believe in me.”
I look down at Lilly long and hard. In such a short time, she’s gone from the child that I protected, to the very reason I live. There is nothing I want more in this world than to be with this woman for all eternity. She is my other half, the light to my darkness. The heart that I thought was long dead. She is everything to me. It is because of those reasons that it shatters me to tell her, “I cannot.”
I watch the tears build up in her eyes and slowly spill over to run down her face. My throat clogs watching her cry. I step away from her.
“Azriel, please!” She stumbles towards me but I hold up a hand to stop her.
“I have to go. Be safe, Lilly.”
I didn’t start the walking dream, but I am versed enough in the magic to end it on my own.
I awake in my bed back in the glass castle. I touch a hand to my face and it comes back wet.
The look on her face has wrung tears from my eyes. I didn’t believe in Lilly’s plan. I know that the Dark King is playing mind tricks with her. He is allowing Lilly to see only what he wants her to see. He is playing off of Lilly’s good heart. It would be a brilliant plan, if it wasn’t my Lilly that he has tangled into his deceitful web. I know what I have to do, I have to get to Lilly. This time, I didn’t care who wasn’t ready. I also couldn’t tell anyone about what Lilly and I discussed. These people looked up to her, they believed in her. I didn’t want them to lose faith in her.
I stood from my bed determined. I place a kiss on my boys’ head and summon the young elf maid that has been looking after the twins for us. Her face has already started to heal. I leave my room and head down to the throne room. I wasn’t just going to save Lilly from the Dark King, I was going to save her from herself.
I trace into the throne room and immediately notice that it is empty except for Avalia standing in the arch way of the balcony. Her sliver dress blows in the wind. Her hands are behind her back, her snow white hair hangs to her ass and dances in the wind. She seems to be so deep in thought she has yet to register my appearance. I slip into her mind, wanting to know what has her attention so thoroughly.
I’m met by a dark sky and a single moon. Lightning flashes across the night sky momentarily turning it to day. Thunder cracks loudly only seconds behind the lightening. A battle is underway around us. We are up high off the ground, on top of the towers of the Northern castle. That’s when I hear it. It is the same vision I continue to get flashes of through Avalia’s mind. The one that leads me to believe that Avalia is seeing her death. Just like in the other visions, Lilly calls out Avalia’s name with tears in her eyes. But this time the name is accompanied by an anguished roar. One that i
s so wrought with sadness and despair it pulls at my own heart. I must have gasped or made some type of noise, because the vision shuts down like a wall blocking my view. Avalia turns on her feet and glares at me.
“Do not do that again.” She orders.
I watch my longtime friend and partner and I can see the sorrow in her eyes. The vision has shaken her as well.
“What am I seeing, Avalia?”
She tries to walk away from me, but I won’t let her this time. I grab her forearm and yank her to me.
“TELL ME WHAT I SAW!” My anger from the walking dream taking over into reality.
Avalia yanks her arm from my grasp.
“Leave it alone, Assassin.” She goes to walk away again, and I step in front of her.
“I am done with secrets.”
“Now you are done with secrets?” She taunts. “Where was your disgust for them when you were making deals behind my back?”
I rake a hand through my hair pulling at the roots. I can’t believe she is still angry over this.
So far, Drago has kept his end of the deal. I need to question him about the bruise on Lilly’s face and his whereabouts at the time she was receiving them, but he has not left her or turned against her.
“She needed protection. Someone to look out for her.” I was tired of explaining this.
“What do you think we have all been trying to do?” Avalia yells. “We are busting our asses everyday trying to bring Lilly home. Yet, you go off as if you are in this alone, and invite a viper into our home.”
“I WILL DO ANYTHING TO SAVE HER!” My anger has reached a new high. I can feel the veins throbbing in my neck as I push back the urge to destroy everything.
“You have no idea what it feels like to love some so much, that you feel incomplete without them. Not having them with you, or having them in danger seems to take the very life out of you. I will give up my life and my happiness to have Lilly safe. You know nothing about love.”
Avalia stares at me for a moment. I can’t read the look on her face. It looks like hurt and anger and sadness all mixed in one. Her pale blue eyes turn from me, taking that vulnerability I just saw with it. When she looks back at me, the window her eyes just showed me has been closed. A steely look takes over her face.
“Do not speak to me of love, lost, and pain, Assassin. I know it. I wear it every day. It is just as much a part of me as the crown that adorns my head. You’ve suffered three days without Lilly, try living 6 centuries being in love with some that wasn’t even been born yet. All the while knowing that even when you meet them they will never be yours. You tell yourself that it would be easier to never know him, but your fate is so entwined with his you have no choice but to suffer through being at his side every single day. There were hundreds of better qualified men to be your guard, but your heart tells you that you would rather pick the skinny kid just to be near him. You say you would do anything for Lilly, but would you sacrifice your own happiness just so that she may find and be with the love of her life? Could you watch her fall helplessly in love with another man and give him children?”
My mouth is open yet no words can escape. I think back to all my encounters with Avalia and I am shocked that she could have hidden this from me. I had no idea of her feelings for me. I look back now and I wonder if I had known, would that change things. Would there have been a Lilly and me if I’d known of Avalia’s interest. The elven queen has been my best friend, my confidante, and my most trusted ally. For as long as I’ve known Avalia, it makes how long I’ve known Lilly feels like less than a second. If I had given Avalia a chance, we could have been happy and in love. I might have never even been in the human realm that night and never even given Lilly a second thought.
“Don’t!” Avalia’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
My eyes connect to hers and I look up to find tears streaking down her face. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen her cry and each time I am blown away how beautiful the sight of her tears are. Her pale blue eyes seem even lighter through her tears.
“Don’t show me things that I cannot have.”
She must have been inside my head.
I can see things so clearly. It would have been easy to love Avalia. By now we could have had children of our own, a son and daughter that we would have loved and cherished. I would have worshipped her. The vision of a woman with her belly full with my young pops in my mind and I am weak at the vision of her.
“Assassin.” She pleads.
This time I do not argue with her. I pull her into me and wrap my arms around her waist. She buries her head in my neck and cries. I hold Avalia so tight I fear I could break her, but I know that she is stronger than that. I know that I will do everything I can to save Avalia from her vision. I will never let her die.
Chapter Thirteen
“How do you feel now?” I ask the beautiful brown skinned little girl with puffy cheeks and wide eyes.
She shakes her head and Medina and I both sigh in frustration. Suddenly Padimé leans over and vomits up blood all down the side of my dress. I push her dreads back and rub her back as she empties her infected belly. When she is done, I wipe her mouth with a damp cloth and lie her back down on the bed.
I don’t have to look at Karima to know that she is worried about her little sister.
It’s been almost two weeks since the first time I came into the hidden tunnels to visit the orphans of the Northern Kingdom. Since that night, I have had many things to smile about. Nevy has made so much progress. I’ve seen another side of him lately. We’ve had picnics in some of the most beautiful places in the Northern Kingdom. He joins me on my daily walks through the kingdom pointing out many different places of significance. Even dinner has become one of my favorite parts of the day. Nevy seems to be opening up more, and has even controlled his temper so much better. Just the other day he walked in on Drago carrying me over his shoulder after I made a joke about him being a big softy. Any other time Nevy would have lost his mind to see another man touching me. However, he just asked was I ok and then walked out. We were all shocked by his response. Thankfully, Nevy hasn’t been the only one with a change of heart. Drago has actually started calling me by my name. He still has his snarky remarks, but even those seem a lot friendlier. Medina has shown the biggest change. She’s still the cynical witch with the hard outer shell, but she’s become less outspoken about my need to help the orphans. She’s even tried to help fix the sick with magic. Although she can’t cast any spells, she’s tried all kinds of potions to help cure the illness.
Probably the most welcomed change has been Assassin. After that horrible night when he refused to trust me, I thought I would lose Assassin. It really hurt me when he insinuated that there was more going on with Nevy and me. I love Assassin. I would never do something like that to him. I’ll admit, my body does seem to respond to Nevy on occasion, but nothing like the way it reacts to Assassin. The day after that dream I was in a horrible mood every time I thought of what Assassin must think of me. Then that night he came to my dream and apologized. He promised he would support me in anything I do. He then made love to me until my eyes cracked open to the morning sunlight shining through my bedroom window. Since that night, he comes to my dreams every night. We talk about the boys, our future, and then we make sweet love.
Like I said, I had every reason to be happy. Yet I was miserable. The children are still dying left and right, and more are becoming sick. My suggestions hadn’t helped anything. We did find out that the disease isn’t contagious. It seems to pick people at random.
“She’s getting worse.” Karima says of her little sister.
I watch as the little girl buries her head into my chest. She’s so tiny. I snuggle her closer.
Medina shakes her head and stands from her kneeling position. The cup of her latest potion in her hands.
“This was the last of them. I know every herb there is to know and nothing I’ve made has helped. I don’t know what else to do.”
I can hear the devastation and defeat in her voice. She has been working diligently to come up with a cure.
Drago and Oden have been silently watching us hoping this last concoction would help.
“Don’t fret, Love. Ye’ve done yer’ best.” Drago opens his arms and Medina walks into them.
I’ve also noticed that she doesn’t deny him as much as she used to. This is the first time she’s done anything like openly go into his arms, or let him touch her for that matter. If I wasn’t clutching a dying child, I would cheer them on.
“Am I going to die, Lilly?” Padimé asks, bringing my attention back to her face.
The black veins that run underneath the skin of the sick hasn’t made it to her face yet. It seems that once the veins hit the face, you are at the last stage of the sickness.
I stroke her cheek, wiping away the black residue that leaks from her eyes.
“No, padimé. You will not. You will wake up tomorrow completely fine.”
Maybe I was wrong for giving her false hope, but I didn’t want her worrying about this all night. She’s a kid and she shouldn’t be worried about these things. She should be worried about what to play and how to spend her time. Let me worry about her sickness.
After putting Padimé to sleep, I meet with Drago, Medina, Oden, Karima, and three of the older children in one of the private rooms in the tunnels. Even though we have been here every day since that first visit, the children still don’t trust us to have free range of their tunnels. They still blindfold us to take us in and out of the tunnels. Despite Drago’s demands against it. I understand the children’s hesitancy. This is where they live, where they feel safe.
“I am at a lost.” Oden begins.
I’ve come to learn a lot about the young man since the first time I met him. It was Oden that found the tunnels. He was eight when his father died from an attack of a Northern soldier and then his mother was taken away a few years later when she was pregnant. She never came back. He has taken responsibility for all the children in his care. I cannot imagine how much pressure that must be for him.
