by Gina Kincade
CHAPTER FIVE
The fire had spread through her bedroom wall, engulfing Dakota's bed, closet, dresser, and everything else inside. In the front room the couch had been charred and reeked of smoke. She'd found her purse where she'd left it, and then Griffin drove her to the store to get some clothes.
He played and replayed her words in his mind like a vinyl record. He'd had to stop her from telling him any more than she had. He'd thought he could handle the truth, but the truth was… he couldn't take it. He didn't want to hear about her finding comfort in some other man's arms. Didn't want to hear that it was his fault for leaving. Didn't want to think about the fact that she'd carried another man's child. It was too much. Just hearing about the drugs was enough to shut him down.
At the store he'd tried to protest her bringing Bowgie inside.
"He’s a service dog. He goes where I go."
He wanted to ask why she had a service dog, but held his tongue.
They walked out of the store around three p.m., with four big bags of clothing, toiletry items, and a large suitcase to put it all in. Her phone had been on her nightstand so he'd driven her to her cell service provider to get a new one. Luckily for her, she'd backed it up to the cloud, so she hadn't lost any information.
By four they’d stopped off to get a burger and fries then headed to her job, so she could check in with her boss.
"Okay, where do I park?"
"That's the building. The parking is around back."
Griffin looked over and scanned the storefronts. "The coffee shop?"
"No, that one." She pointed to the Brazilian Ju Jitsu studio.
"Oh. Okay." He rounded the end of the building and pulled into a parking spot. At least she'd gotten a job in a safe place. He wondered if she had any benefits, like free lessons. Maybe that's where all her muscle tone had come from.
"I'll be back in a minute." She slid from the Jeep and whistled for Bowgie.
Griffin turned off the engine and got out. "I'll go with you."
She glanced around the parking lot and shielded the sun from her eyes.
"You don't have to do that. I won't be that long."
He shrugged. "I need to use the bathroom anyway."
She looked like she wanted to say something but instead turned and went into the building. Griffin followed her in and the faint smell of gym shoes hit his nose. Light music played overhead and on the wall-to-wall red mats, two classes spared and practiced.
Dakota walked up to the front desk and one of the instructors jogged over. He gave her a hug and ruffled Bowgie's fur as Griffin walked up.
"Are you okay?" asked the instructor. "We were all so worried when we heard about the fire. Scott said you were okay but do you need anything? Can we help?"
Dakota smiled. "Thanks John but I'm okay."
"Is your apartment all right?"
"No everything is pretty much gone so I'll need to find a new place."
"Well you're welcome to stay with Sandra and me. We can pile the kids into one room."
"Thanks, I appreciate that but I'll figure something out."
"Well anything I can do, you just let me know."
"I could use some more hours for the next month or so. I'm gonna need a down payment on a new place and stuff."
"Absolutely, not a problem. I've been begging you to up your hours for months." John turned his head and noticed Griffin. "Hey, I'm John, can I help you?" John gave a welcoming smile and reached to shake Griffin's hand.
"Oh, this is Griffin, he's with me." Dakota pushed her hair behind her ear.
"New boyfriend?" John asked. "Don't you give our girl any trouble or you'll have six BJJ champions searching for your ass."
Griffin crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm her husband."
John chuckled and then looked at Dakota.
She sighed and nodded.
"Oh, hey. I was just kidding," said John. "It's nice to meet you. Dakota is a great girl. I didn't realize she was married."
"We're separated." She glared at Griffin. "Have been for a while. I'm just staying with him today until I find a place to stay."
"Well, the offer still stands if you want to stay with us," John replied.
"Thanks. I just came in to look at the schedule for the week."
John patted her hand. "You know where it is. I'm really glad you're okay. I better get back to class."
Dakota smiled and then pulled a calendar from a desk drawer and looked at it. She pulled out a pencil and wrote her name in several slots. The phone began to ring but she continued writing.
"Are you gonna answer that?" Griffin asked.
She looked up at him and then at phone. "I'm not the receptionist."
"Then what do you do here?"
The icy glare she shot at him sent chills down his back. He could practically see her hackles raise and her ears flatten.
"I'm an instructor. Didn't you need to use the bathroom?"
"An instructor?"
"Yeah. I teach a bunch of the kid’s classes and two women's self defense classes."
Wow. When had that happened? And how? He wanted to ask, but she turned back to the schedule and ignored him completely.
Thirty minutes later they headed back to the house. The tension between them hung thick as snow at Bogus Basin ski resort.
When they got to the house he looked at the clock.
"Crap. I'm supposed to meet Cassie before my shift." He hopped from the Jeep and grabbed her things, pulling them into the house.
He dropped the bags to the floor, stripped off his shirt and without thinking unbuckled his pants.
"Hon can you finish up? I need to–"
He stopped in his tracks and swallowed hard. He turned to Dakota in the doorway. Being with her all day, even though tense, had felt so natural that he'd forgotten about their current situation.
Dakota's cheeks flushed a deep shade of peach as her gaze raked over him.
She cleared her throat and glanced away. "It's fine. You do what you need to. I'm a bit tired. I think I'll just lie down."
He nodded. "Right."
She walked toward him and he leaned against the back of the couch to let her pass. The area between him and the hall tree was tight; her body pressed against his, as she brushed past. Her hips connected with his and her breasts brushed his bare chest. He sucked in a breath and was struck by the heady scent, musk mixed with flowers, that was wholly and fully Dakota. Screw Cassie's shampoo, this was the scent he loved most. His wolf whined with desire. He fought against his baser instincts to grab onto her, reminding himself of what she'd done. She'd betrayed him. Cheated on him. Even if he did let her in again, how could he ever trust her?
"Do you mind if I stay one more night?"
"No. I'll be gone anyway."
She nodded and continued toward the kitchen to let Bowgie out. He waited until she was gone before letting out a shuddering breath.
He turned around and planted his hands on the back of the couch. His eyes lit on the piano. Just seeing the huge, gleaming black, baby grand made his ribcage squeeze.
"Oh my gosh! Griff! What did you do?" she squealed.
She ran to the piano and hugged it. Then she sat on the bench and traced her fingers over the keys. He slid up behind her on the bench and wrapped her in his arms.
"I figured it would give you something to do while I'm away."
He brushed the hair from her neck and kissed her just below her earlobe.
She leaned back into him. "I could write a new song for you."
"You could. And you can play it for me when I return."
Her hand slid up his thigh making his arousal kick in his cargo pants.
"And what can I give you now to remember me by when you're gone?"
He turned her face to his and kissed her hard.
Griffin shook his head, making the memory fade. A new one surfaced. She'd been new to Wolf River. Her first day, sophomore year, and she hadn’t known a soul. He remembered how frightene
d and alone she'd looked as she walked to choir room– deep brown eyes large and round, a red t-shirt hugging her thin form, tight skinny jeans tucked into her Ugg boots.
Six years together. Three tours overseas. Half a dozen moves around the US and one crazy old stray cat, that only lasted two months. They'd been through so much. And yet, for all that time together, it was like he was seeing her for the first time. She'd grown strong since they'd been apart. She'd learned how to stand on her own feet and do for herself. It was sexy as hell.
No. There was no forgetting what she'd done to him. No matter the woman she was changing into, there was no changing the past. No changing the pain. No changing the anger.
He walked to the bedroom, went straight to the closet, grabbed his uniform, and walked into the bathroom. All without even glancing at Dakota.
"Are you okay?"
Griffin looked up from his cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, what?"
Cassie smiled and squeezed his hand. "I just wondered how you're doing. Having Dakota back in your house can't be easy."
That was an understatement.
"Do you want to talk about it? I mean you don't have to but if you want to I don't mind hearing about it."
What could he say? He didn't want to hide things from Cassie… aside from the obvious– he was a werewolf bonded to Dakota and she'd never be fully out of his life, no matter what the papers in his nightstand said.
"I met her junior year in high school."
"So you were sweethearts."
"We got married right before I went into boot camp. I was nineteen. I never thought I'd love anyone but her."
"How many times have you been deployed?"
"Three. And the first two times weren't bad. But the last time…" His gut clenched. He hadn't talked to anyone, besides his brothers, about the reason for the split.
"You don't have to tell me."
"She cheated and got pregnant but lost the baby before I got back."
Cassie nodded. "And you two just couldn't make it work?"
He swallowed hard. "I couldn't even try. I was so hurt and betrayed. I kicked her out after I got home."
"And now?" Her eyes rounded with interest. Her sweet face held no judgment. No jealousy. Maybe it was how she was raised. Maybe it was just that she held the maturity of a woman in her thirties. He didn't know.
"I still can't forgive her. I'm trying but… I watched what betrayal like that did to someone I loved. I swore I'd never allow that to happen to me. So I just shut her out. Even before I got back stateside I'd shut down. Slammed the door. Refused to allow that kind of pain in."
"Do you still love her?"
"I will always love her. Love isn't our problem."
She sipped her coffee and stared at it for a minute before looking at him again.
"Griffin, I care about you and I want to see you happy. I can see right now that you aren't and I just wonder if part of that is because you want to forgive her."
"Cassie–"
"Let me finish. I don't want to get in the middle of you two. You have history and a life together. If you still love her I completely understand. Maybe it would be better if we took a step back and you figured out if you really want to move forward with us, or if you want to go back to her."
She was so sweet. So kind. So… comfortable. With Cassie it would be easier. A clean slate. He wouldn't have to go backward. He wouldn't have to deal with the pain. The conflict. The lack of trust. He could just move forward. Move on. Not that being with a human would be easy. His parents would rip him a new one. And who knew if Cassie would even accept him when he told her the truth. And if they had kids… He swallowed hard. They wouldn't be wolf. They'd be human.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. He slid one of his house keys off the ring and pushed across the table.
"I don't want to step back. I want to move forward."
She looked at the key and he grabbed her hand.
"You know how I feel," she said. "I don't want to get too serious before your divorce is final."
"Neither do I. I just want you to know that I mean this. I want to be honest with you. I don't know that I'll ever stop loving Dakota. But this key is a symbol of me telling you that I'm not ready to throw away what you and I have."
He leaned across the table and kissed her. His work phone buzzed and he looked at the text.
"I'm late. I better go." He finished his tea and stood. "I'll give you a call later."
She nodded. "I'll be up."
He walked away from the table and headed for the exit. His wolf grumbled in his chest. The chilling feel of betraying Dakota washed over him.
CHAPTER SIX
"Hey baby, you feeling good yet?"
A face swam in and out of view.
"Something's wrong."
"Did you drink too much?"
"I need to get home."
"Don't worry. I'll get you home. Come on." Strong arms enveloped her and the strong scent of spicy aftershave filled her nostrils.
Dakota shot straight up in a cold sweat. She scanned the dark room and tried to get her bearings. She recognized her surroundings but couldn't place them.
She was in her bedroom. Hers and Griffin's. She touched his side of the bed and everything rushed back. He wasn't there. They weren't together.
She took a deep breath and the desire to grab a sleeping pill washed over her. Her wolf whimpered, she swallowed hard and turned on the light. Her headache had dimmed but an underlying thumping was her new best friend.
She went into the bathroom, splashed water on her face and then pushed a pressure point on her hand, trying to dull the ache. She dried her hands on the towel and Griffin's heady scent invaded her.
The memory of their fist kiss came to her. Sitting in the bed of his father's truck and looking up at the stars after a winning football game. Her heart pounded and her palms were sweaty. He leaned in close and touched her cheek. Their eyes locked in an intimate embrace.
"I want to kiss you."
"Then do it."
His lips had met hers. Soft at first and then harder and deeper.
She stood straight and walked out of the bathroom. Wide-awake and with nothing to do, curiosity got the better of her. She went to the dresser and opened the top drawer, the one that used to be hers. It sat empty. One by one she opened the other drawers. They all remained empty. She opened her old nightstand to find it too empty.
Curiosity turned to obsession and she went to the first guest room and turned on the light. It had been turned into a home office. A desk and computer stood in the corner and across one wall was a shelf full of textbooks and other books. She thumbed through the military manuals and medical texts and then walked out of the room.
She went into the second bedroom and found it full of home gym equipment. A treadmill, elliptical and weight machine stood waiting. Too much. It was all too much. Her house but not her house. She hadn’t wanted an office and a gym, she'd wanted kids rooms. But Griffin had refused to even think about kids until he was out of the military. So she'd been forced to wait.
She ran her hand over her belly and whimpered. All she'd wanted in life was to be Griffin's mate and the mother of his children. But now that would never be.
She needed to get out. To run and clear her head. She looked at the clock. It was close to three a.m. The sun hadn't even begun to rise yet.
She stripped off her shirt and pants and dropped them to the floor. She needed this. She dropped her underwear and bra and then walked to the back door.
She retraced the path she used to take when she needed to run. Up off Hill road going toward Bogus Basin. It was a nice long jog if she could keep from getting hit on the way there.
In wolf form she definitely healed faster too. Maybe it would clear up her concussion and stupid headaches. Her wolf paced and stretched, anticipating what was coming.
Bowgie sniffed her and then backed away slowly, head down, tail between his legs.
The cool mo
rning air puckered her skin with goosebumps. She walked to the gazebo and got down on all fours. The shift washed over her and rippled through her muscles. Her inner wolf howled in delight. Dakota locked down her mind and concentrated on the one thing she'd focused on for over six years when shifting. Griffin.
His image broke into her mind as her arms and legs shortened. She let the pain wash through her, like an old friend. She studied his eyes and strong jaw as her body trembled in agony. The color of his hair. His laugh— all consuming and contagious. The strong feel of his arms about her as they slept. But thinking of him brought up emotional pain that rivaled the physical agony. A minute passed and then another and with the sprouting of long body hair, the shift finished and the pain receded. She lay on her side and panted for a moment before getting to her feet. She took a deep breath but forced back her howl. She was still in the neighborhood. Some wolves, like Griffin, could shift in an instant, if needed, but she had yet to master that feat.
She turned her head and spotted Bowgie in the corner of the yard. She barked at him and he bounded forward.
With her wolf spurring her on, she hopped over the fence and dashed down the street toward the hills with Bowgie at her side. It was time to let go.
***
Griffin opened the front door at three thirty and was surprised to find the lights on in the hallway. He dropped his bag and froze when he saw Dakota's clothes laying on the floor. She wouldn't dare bring another man into his house.
He peeked into the guest bedroom but no one was there. His gut twisted as he walked to the master bedroom. He pushed open the door, his heart pounding, but no one was in there either.
"Dakota?"
There was no answer.
He checked the closet and the bathroom. Still no Dakota. Dammit where was she?
He walked into the kitchen and found her bra and panties laying by the back sliding door.
No. She hadn't.
He opened the door and his wolf leapt to its feet. The scent of Dakota's wolf had his body rippling with the need to shift.
Dammit! Why couldn't she just stay in bed like a normal person?
