by Gina Kincade
I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes in my best attempt at vapid seduction.
He chuckled and kissed me, then pulled out the rest of the way. “Later today.”
“Okay,” I responded, sulking. Even as I said it, my stomach twisted in anxious knots.
So much for one and done, Joy.
Chapter Seven
I watched in silence as Striker pulled his clothes back on. I remained sitting on the edge of the desk, stark naked. Normally, I’d have dressed and gave the guy a charming smile as I thanked him for the experience. Instead, I mulled our time together in my head and tried to come to terms with my own personal demons.
He bent next to the desk to pick up his wallet. His arm was close enough that the heat radiating off him brushed my skin. I shifted, craving the contact, but couldn’t touch him without it being an obvious attempt. So I sat there, willing him to touch me, to acknowledge me. When I realized he was deliberately taking too long to pick up a stupid wallet off the floor, it hit me what he was doing.
“Your animal taming techniques won’t work on me,” I stated as I crossed my arms.
A soft noise escaped him, and when he straightened, I could see him holding back a laugh. “Looked like it was fucking working to me. You came closer.”
I turned my head and stuck my nose in the air. “I’m too clever for your traps. I don’t want to be part of your herd.”
“Says the woman who agreed to a next time.”
I sucked in a breath as he hit on the very thing eating at me. “Yeah, well, you were a good enough fuck to deserve an encore…”
“Bullshit.” Striker stepped between my legs again, but his actions weren’t sensual this time. They belied a barely-controlled emotion. Anger? No, it wasn’t strong enough for anger. Irritation maybe? Possibly hurt?
With a fluid motion, he took his shirt off, and excitement zinged through me. A second round of sex sounded like an excellent idea, even if we were bickering. Shock quickly replaced my elation as he pulled the shirt down over me, dressing me. It was long enough it draped against my thighs, though the sides of my breasts were on display. Sleeveless tanks were fun like that. For some reason, wearing his shirt felt far more intimate than anything we’d done since Hope left.
“The guy who introduced me to BDSM? The one who is in jail? He did hurt me. Several times,” I found myself saying. “I left him before it got bad enough to need hospital attention, and he never did it when we were with other people.”
Striker’s fingertips feathered across my cheek as he gently stroked me while I spoke. The aggressive energy emanating from him moments before calmed into a quiet stillness. It drew me in, made me feel safe, like a favorite blanket on a cold winter night. A shelter against my own shit-storm of a past.
“Since then, I don’t trust people anymore. He and I…we were a serious item. We’d been dating for a few months, and I thought I was in love. Love makes you blind. Makes your awareness and self-preservation go out the fucking window. I’m not stupid enough to fall in love anymore. I’ll never let anyone hold that kind of power over me again. That’s why…” I cleared my throat and straightened. “That’s why, as great as the sex was a few minutes ago, there probably won’t be a next time. And if there is, I need you to understand that it will always be just sex with me.”
I expected anger, resentment, snark. My body tensed as I prepared for everything from him walking out to a slap across the face. Nothing could have equipped me for the hug he wrapped me up in. I froze as he held me far longer than a hug should last, then awkwardly gave him a half-hug in return.
“I don’t accept it,” he said against the top of my head.
“Then I’m sorry, but I can’t see you anymore.” I pulled back and he released me with a frown.
“Are you really going to sit there and tell me you won’t date me because you won’t let anyone hold power over you again?”
I gave him a curt nod.
“What kind of backward, dumbass thinking is that?” he demanded.
Offended, I stood and poked him in the chest as I spoke. “It’s the kind of thinking that keeps me from getting hurt again by lowlife bastards like him,” I yelled. To my surprise, and their credit, none of the dogs barked. I was pretty sure they were all in their outdoor runs, probably praying they didn’t get stuck with humans as crazy as us.
“Then explain why you think you could ever be in a real BDSM relationship. Explain why you want forced seduction, which is the abso-fucking-lutely perfect example of letting someone have power over you.” Striker crossed his arms over his chest as he glared down at me. “I don’t know if you noticed, girlie, but everything about BDSM is trust and power. Otherwise it’s just a slap and tickle by pretenders.”
Tears burned my eyes at his words. I damn well knew he was right. Part of the reason I guy hopped was because I couldn’t find satisfaction in the little pretend, playtime BDSM with them. But the elephant in the room, my biggest dirty secret, was that I wouldn’t let them. I kept preventing myself from capably achieving the one thing I sought. The release I craved.
“How am I supposed to trust any man?” I demanded. “Why would I even want to?”
His fingers snaked into my hair, then he pulled on the strands hard enough to make me gasp. As he leaned closer, nuzzling my neck, he continued to put pressure until my scalp stung and I bowed backward slightly. It allowed him access to my throat and jutted my breasts forward.
Even as little warning bells of self-preservation went off in my head, arousal swept through me. I needed the pain. Fantasized about it. The sharp jolt of pain as he nipped my pulse caused a moan of pleasure to escape me.
“Trust is earned,” he whispered into my ear. “Do you know why you are a brat?”
“Because fuck you, that’s why,” I said, but my voice came out weak.
He tugged on my hair again, and used his free hand to grab my hip. The tight grip nearly had me bucking with need, but it also minimized my movement. He kept the pressure on the right side of pain, yet I knew if I moved too much, I would cause my own discomfort.
“You think you’re the only one who can keep yourself safe, but it goes against your submissive personality. So like an abused animal, you lash out, running everyone off. If they can’t hack it, they weren’t strong enough to keep you safe.”
I froze as he spoke, listening to his words. Even the erotic thrill of his hold seemed to fade into the background. It was as if my existence depended on what he said next.
“But when the strong ones don’t run away, you fight even harder. You trap yourself in a battle with your own head.” He released my hair and I whimpered at the sudden swamp of sensations. “You want to be dominated. Need it. Need to be sure the Dom is stronger than you so you test them, because only a bad ass mother fucker can keep you safe, right? But when you push those buttons and he fights back, then you realize. Oh shit, if he’s stronger than me, he can hurt me just as easily as he protects me.”
Striker stepped back and swept his gaze over me. I wanted to squirm under his scrutiny. I’d never really thought about why I tormented and taunted and walked away from men, but I sure identified with his explanation.
The distance between our bodies gave me a reprieve from my desires. Enough so that I was able to bolster my confidence back up. To slap my walls in place that helped me bring my bitchiness to the game.
“And what do you think you’re going to do about it?” I asked. “Do you think you’re so damn different you can break the cycle? I like being the way I am. The only one who seems to have a problem with it is you.”
“I’m going to treat you the same way I treat any hard-headed filly. I’m going to put you through your paces, and then I’m going to take care of you. Sooner or later, you’ll get it through your damn head that I’m stronger than you and I’m here to protect you.”
“I don’t do long term,” I reminded him.
A growl cut through the air, and it took me a moment to realize the sound came
from Striker and not a dog. Before I could respond, he pulled me to my feet and swept me up in a kiss that stole my breath. It was dominant to the point of nearing overwhelming, just like him, but just when I began pull away to break the kiss, he softened it, coaxing me back. The gentler he kissed, the more I leaned into him, pulling him close, seeking to deepen it.
His arms wrapped around me as he held me, one hand cupping my ass cheek, the other banded across my back. When he finally did break the kiss, he drew me against him, enveloping me in a hug that lasted several minutes. His heartbeat thudded under my ear, and the steady rhythm soothed me. My own raced as I considered his words.
“Striker, I’m really not the kind of girl that’s worth fighting for. I am a career woman, I can’t cook, and I’m emotionally fucked up. I don’t think I can do white picket fences and happy ever after. I don’t even want kids. Ever.” My body trembled as I issued my confessions, lining up my sins so he’d throw me away like the broken, useless trash I was.
His arms tightened around me briefly before he leaned back to study my face. “I’m not asking for the perfect little suburban family bullshit. I have demons of my own, Joy. I grew up on the street. Almost went to fucking jail once. But I know I like what I feel with you, and that I like you. And I’m not willing to give you up without you at least trying to give this a shot.”
“Don’t you want the perfect sex doll who you can bend and twist to your Dommy will?” I asked, frowning. “Why do you even want a woman who pushes your buttons?”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I don’t give a damn about obedient subs. I’m only interested in you. When you sass, it turns me on. I think about all the punishments and play time. All the sex we’ll have while I’m taming you.” The cocky grin I was starting to adore appeared on his face. “Not that I’d ever want you truly tamed.”
“Why not?”
“It takes the fun out of things,” he responded without missing a beat. “Give me now, Joy. Give me you. Give us a fucking chance instead of running away because you think I can’t handle your shit.”
When I remained silent, he released me and stepped back again. My body cried out at his absence. At the loss of contact. I looked at him, really looked at him, and knew any fight I had left disappeared as I watched the hope dim in his eyes. This man truly wanted to give my fucked-upness a shot.
“Okay,” I said softly. “But I’m warning you, my best friend’s boyfriend is ex-military. And if you piss me off, I’ll call her crying and you’ll get beat up. So you better be nice to me.”
Striker snorted. “Please. I could kick his pansy ass any day.”
“I’m glad to know that’s the only thing you took from that.” I smirked.
“Joy.” The tone of his voice sent shivers of pleasure racing through me.
I ran my tongue across my suddenly-dry lips before answering. “Y-yes?”
He held out a hand and I stepped into his arms. As he pulled me close, I discovered with surprise that his heart rate had increased. “Call me Gabe. I want to hear you say my name.”
With a wicked grin, I stretched up so my mouth brushed his earlobe. “Gabe, I want you to take me again.”
“With pleasure.”
Sweet Ruin By K.N. LEE
Paranormal Romance
CHAPTER ONE
Alice stood on the balcony of her house in the mountains, her strawberry blond hair flying free behind her as the cool morning breeze blew in her face. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the forest that stretched for miles all around her home.
It was going to be another beautiful day, and she wished that she could enjoy it without worry.
Collin wrapped his arms around her and she smiled despite the nagging fear that filled her belly. Dressed in nothing but her red lace bikini-cut panties and bra, she was impervious to the crisp autumn air.
“Babe,” Collin whispered into her ear, his minty breath warm on her neck. “Why are you up so early? Don’t you have until noon to go into work?”
She turned to him. With a smile, she ran her hands through his messy black hair. She met his ethereal hazel eyes, wishing that she could tell him her secret. What they’d developed was sacred, but she feared that he would not understand her origins and past. His chiseled jaw was covered by his short dark beard.
“Yeah. But, I couldn’t sleep.”
He kissed her clavicle and held onto her waist. “You hardly sleep at all,” he said. “I don’t understand how you survive with such little sleep. It’s bad for your health.”
Alice grinned. “I think I know what’s good for my health.”
He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “What’s that?”
“You,” she said, softly and kissed his lips. He tasted like toothpaste and mouthwash as their tongues met. She held onto his face, her fingers within his soft beard.
“I’m not going to disagree with you on that one. Since you’re up at five in the morning, why don’t we take advantage of this time together before we both have to work?”
Nodding, Alice buried her face in the space between his bare neck and shoulder, breathing him in. She traced the tattoo of a dragon on his neck and swallowed, willing the warnings to fade. Though he was only thirty-two, he had silver hairs that grew above his ears, a stark contrast to his raven black hair. She loved them. They were like little magical strands that refused to be ignored.
“What do you want to do?” Alice asked.
“Breakfast at Café Monte sounds like a good start.”
“Yes! Great idea. I could use a real cappuccino.”
Collin’s smiled widened as he turned and carried her back into the house. “I agree,” he said. “But first…”
Alice laughed, a beaming smile taking over her face as excitement flooded her. Only he could make her giddy. She held on as Collin carried her back to her bedroom, kicking the door open and walking into the brightly-lit room.
He put her down and unhooked her bra, all while planting kisses along her throat and chest. She pushed her panties down and kicked them onto the floor. Watching him take off his boxers excited her.
Instead of taking her to bed, he led her into her bathroom and turned on the shower. They stepped inside and let the warm water cascade over their naked bodies. Kissing Collin under the soothing stream of water almost took her mind off of everything.
Sometimes she wished that she could just stay in bed with Collin all day. But, they were both busy individuals with responsibilities and careers.
They were both highly-respected doctors.
But, only one of them was human.
***
Hiding and masquerading as a human were the only ways Alice knew to survive. It was a decision she made years ago when she’d almost paid for her sins in worst way.
Being a fraud was much better than the alternative.
That afternoon, the hospital was abuzz with activity and chaos. People cried in huddles, there were screaming patients being rolled in, deranged addicts fought to escape treatment, and the scent of blood was pungent everywhere Alice turned.
This was normal. Alice couldn’t remember a time when it was actually quiet. As head psychiatrist of Mercy Hospital, she was used to the calamity of the world inside and outside of a person’s head. Truth was, she enjoyed the world being loud. The quiet was when she was most afraid—most anxious.
In a purple dress under her white coat, she stood out amongst the other doctors. Alice had a personality that couldn’t be muted, and she didn’t try.
She walked down the white hallway of the hospital’s emergency department, a clipboard pressed against her chest. She nodded hello to those that spoke, smiling. Being well liked was something she was used to. All of her life people were drawn to her, captivated and eager for her attention. If only they knew the real reason behind that, she wondered if they’d be even more enchanted…or horrified.
Without knocking, she opened the door to the office of the head of surgery, quickly
slipping in and closing it behind her. She pressed her back to the door and met the surprised gaze of the head neurologic surgeon.
“Dr?”
“Collin,” she replied, her voice lowering seductively.
She stepped away from the door, smiling at the handsome doctor that stood behind his desk, recording notes from a CT scan on his digital voice recorder. He paused once she came and stood before him, setting her clipboard down.
She was feeling particularly bold that day, a mischievous smile on her small, pale face after their early morning romp.
Alice tossed her blond waves back and gave Collin a wink. “I don’t have all day,” she said, spreading her legs from her spot on the edge of his desk. She licked her lips as she watched him eye her black lace thong.
Collin chuckled. “Haven’t you had enough of me for the day?”
“No,” she said. “Never.”
They’d been dating for a few months, and never had Alice been so smitten, so devoted to one person. If Collin knew the truth of her past of promiscuity she wasn’t sure what he’d think. She’d wager that he’d still pursue her.
He was just that great of a man.
Tall, with an athletic build, everything about him turned her on. The tattoos under his scrubs that stretched up his arms and back intrigued her. There was no wonder all of the single women on the floor had eyes for him.
Too bad he belonged to Alice, even if they were keeping it a secret.
Collin stepped between her legs and cupped her face between his hands. “I have a surgery scheduled in an hour.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, batting her eyelashes. “I have a client in an hour as well. That’s plenty of time,” she whispered.
Collin kissed her, the scent of his shampoo intoxicating as he pressing his lips to hers. She heated from her core as he parted her lips with his tongue, sliding it deliciously across hers. She closed her eyes and worked at pulling his scrubs and boxers down.
