We both turn back to the view for another minute of silence. I open my mouth to ask it but then stop myself, before changing my mind again; “You show this to a lot of girls?”
A song ends on the album, and in the absolute silence of the car, he turns to me, his sharp eyes glinting in the light from the dash; “None, actually.”
The music starts up again as we both sit back in our seats and just stare off into the predawn as civil twilight crests over the city; and its wonderful.
P R E S E N T
OK, so being around Hudson is hard. Ugh, I need to get my mind out of the gutter; it’s difficult I should say, being around him. Mostly because the only thing I can think about at all is that cock of his I saw when I stumbled into the bathroom. I mean, it’s not enough that he’s rich, cocky, muscled and criminally attractive; the guy has to have an big dick too?
I mean honestly, it’s distracting.
He of course seems to have have totally moved on from seeing, well, whatever it is he thinks he saw. Although at this point, I’m fairly sure he knows exactly what he saw; and heard. I cringe a little, thinking about gasping his name out as my orgasm ripped through me, and then seeing him just standing there, staring at me. Whats worse is that I can’t I get my damned mind off of that image of him standing there totally naked and completely hard. And why can’t I help but wonder what or who he was thinking about that got him that way?
His back is to me, as he reads through business emails of some kind on his phone in my living room, and I find myself chewing at my lip nervously, my mind a whirlwind. I mean, would it really be so bad?
YES! The voice in my head screams, shaking me from my idle day-dreaming and making me realize with a blush that I’ve been staring at Hudson’s back for the past five full minutes. YES, it would be bad like ruination of public image bad. I mean sleeping with the guy in charge of donating campaign funds? It’s not illegal or anything, but they’d fucking crucify me for that in the papers. I can almost see the headlines now, something like “Silly Little Rich Girl Predictably Bangs the Guy With Money; Bows Out of Campaign”.
No, fuck that. What I need is to get images and thoughts of me banging Hudson out of my head, now. Of course, the pathetic amount of time it’s been since I’ve been involved in banging of any kind makes me groan, and I know that’s part of the problem. I mean there was Chet - yes, Chet, like something out of a fucking Archie comic - but that was over six months ago, and even then it was barely a thing. It was barely a thing so much that when I heard the whispers about him fucking his intern like a walking cliche, I remember feeling more sorry for whatever college poli-sci major had to lay there and fake it now that I wasn’t doing it than I did for myself. Erika, my “brand manager” (God I hate that title), of course want’s me to get back together with him, and is always talking about how much of a “complimentary companion” he is for a “power-woman” like myself.
Yeah, because “complimentary companion” has “sexy” written all over it. And again my mind instead thinks of the hard-bodied, cocky Hudson. Hudson with the tattoos and the obnoxious bad-boy chip on his shoulder; Hudson with the dangerous glint in his eye and the fucking missile hanging between his legs. I’m pretty sure it would give Erika an aneurism if I announced that he was going to be my new “companion” of any kind.
I’m still mulling all of this over in my head when Chelsea comes over later with takeout sushi.
“So what do you think, Hudson?”
I grumble into my yellowtail maki. I don’t know if I’m pissy because she’s decided to include him in what was going to be a sister get-together, or that she’s somehow getting along with him swimmingly. Or maybe I’m just generally feeling on edge because of the Hudson situation as a whole.
“Your ex sounds like a dick, Chelsea,” He’s saying as he takes a bite of salmon. He sees me staring at him and grins as he makes an extra big show of sensually slurping the piece of fish between his lips while Chelsea is looking down at her own food. I make a face at him, which only gets him grinning more and more my own pulse beating faster.
“Aw, thanks Hudson!” I’m still making my stink face at him when Chelsea looks up sees me, before she turns and nods her head at Hudson; “You know, you can always come hang with me if my sisters being a bitch, Hudson.”
He chuckles right along with her as I stuff seaweed salad into my mouth and look away. It’s not flirty between them - she’s acting like more of a kid sister and him more like a conspiratorial brother than anything like that - but it’s still getting under my skin. It’s as if their closeness brings out some sort of bizarre jealousy in me, which is stupid because I don’t want or need to be close to Hudson.
Keep saying that to yourself and maybe you’ll start to believe it.
I’m interrupted from battling my inner dialogue by Chelsea poking me in the arm with a chopstick; “We should ask his opinion on your ex, Ray.”
I blush as Hudson arches an eyebrow at me, a grin teasing his perfect lips; “Ex-boyfriend, huh?” Yeah, I definitely haven’t mentioned Chet to Hudson.
“Let’s…not?” I’m staring daggers at my sister, but she’s either not getting the hint or just ignoring them anyways.
“Oh com’on! I bet Hudson has a ton to say about you and Chet.”
I groan inside as Hudson grins wickedly at me; “Chet?” His cocky, smug mouth cracks even even wider as winks at me; “Oh, yeah, I think I’ve got loads to say about ‘Chet’.”
“See?” Chelsea gives me a sassy look as she reaches past me for the ginger.
“I’m sure you do.” I say icily.
*****
“So, Chet, huh?”
We’re cleaning up the kitchen after Chelsea leaves; Hudson rinsing out wine glasses and me drying them. It’s weirdly domestic, and probably the last thing I could ever imagine spending my Wednesday night doing with billionaire playboy Hudson Banks.
“Chet is none of your business, actually,” I say, almost unable to hide my smirk. Is he jealous?
“I’m just curious that’s all,” Hudson passes me a clean, dripping wet coffee cup.
“Oh what, for security purposes?” I say sarcastically as I reach for the mug.
“No I’m just curious for me actually.” I freeze with my hand on the lip of the coffee cup he’s holding in his hand, suddenly very curious where he’s going to go with this.
Hudson grins, as if seeing right through the casual face I’m doing my best to maintain and seeing the eagerness within; “I’m honestly just wondering who could put up with you long enough to date, that’s all.”
I roll my eyes, suddenly angry with myself for being such a weirdo about all of this; “Oh shut up.”
Hudson laughs; “Oh I’m just kidding Red, jeez lighten up.” He casually reaches over and wraps his arm around my waist, and I freeze.
“Stop.”
“What?”
I can feel the strength in his arms, and the heat in his fingers as they circle around my waist, drawing me closer to his body and I can feel the shiver run up my spine.
“Just- don’t touch me like that.” I’m saying no because I need him to, not because I want him to. In fact, I desperately want him to keep touching me.
Hudson frowns; “Jesus, Reagan, like what?” He drops his arm and steps back from me, and I’m instantly missing the heat of his body and the heat my body feels when he’s that close to me; “Ok, fine.”
I swallow heavily; “Fine.” I know my cheeks are bright red, and the heated, needy desire pouring through my body and dampening my panties scream that I want anything but him to stop touching me, but I force myself to turn away from him.
I gasp when he reaches out and grabs my arm, and my heart leaps into my throat as I feel him spin me around and press me up against the refrigerator. I’m flush against his body, feeling every ripple of his muscles, every inch of his skin on mine, and I let out the tiniest of moans in spite of myself. I can feel his hardness pressing hotly against me as his hands push m
y arms back against the cool metal of the fridge, and he leans down until I can feel his breath teasing across my lips.
“Just so you know, I’m betting I could have you right here, right now, Princess. I’d only have to ask.”
“Oh is that a fact, huh?” I give him my most defiant, carefree look, but I know by the way he grins that he can see right through that. And I know by the way my face is flushed and the way I know he can feel the heat between my legs on his thigh that neither of us are fooled by my little act.
“Yeah, that’s a fact.” He growls, leaning closer still until his lips are barely millimeters away from mine.
“Then why don’t you then.” My voice is breathy, and I hear the words muted as if I’m speaking underwater. I’m willing him to kiss me; willing him to lean down press that mouth to mine and take me right here in the kitchen; right up against the refrigerator.
Please, please, please I beg inside my head, biting my lip and staring deep into his deep blue eyes and wanting nothing more than to feel him slide inside of me. I’m so wet and I can feel my heart just racing as we stare at each other. But I need him to make the move first. I’m running for a seat on the State Senate for crying out loud, I can’t be throwing myself at my bodyguard - or my campaign financier, or both, or whatever the hell Hudson is. I just can’t, and for that singular reason, every fiber of my being and every thudding beat of my pulse in my veins wants him to tear my panties off and fuck me right here.
But he doesn’t, and the moment passes, and we both know it. Hudson moves away from me suddenly, his own chest rising quickly with his breath as he stares at me hungrily with a look I can’t quite read; “Like you said, Reagan; it’s nothing.”
P A S T
“Are you drinking?” My older sister’s eyes are narrowed, red-rimmed as they are as she leans down to sniff the cup of soda she’s snatched out of my hands.
“N-no.” I mumble out, fairly confident that there’s no way she’s going to smell the white wine I’ve dosed my diet-cola with. Yeah, I’m drinking white wine with coke; I was a very special breed of eighteen year old rebel.
Quinn swears at me, even though I know damn well she’s had a few herself; “It’s a wake, Reagan, not an open bar,” She hisses; always the one in charge, especially now.
“It’s not a wake, it’s a memorial vigil,” I say it tensely through gritted teeth.
Quinn looks at me sadly, shaking her head; “Ray, he’s d-“
“He’s missing, Quinn, he’s not dead.” Well, missing for three months, last seen near the Syrian border; presumed dead.
My sister tenses her jaw and exhales through her teeth, either because she’s thinking it too, or more likely because she’s just not about to have this argument again with me, here of all places. “In any case, you’re not supposed to be drinking.”
“So?” I sneer at her; “I’m mourning.” It’s really only half true; maybe even less actually. Of course I’m upset about my Father’s death, but the anger is still so present that it’s clouding my ability to really grasp that he’s gone. I’m angry that it’s felt like he’s been gone for years anyways; always off doing something in some random part in the world that he won’t tell us about and that I don’t want to know about anyways. I remember asking him once when I was much younger if what the kids at school had said were true; “Do you sell guns, Daddy?”
“It’s complicated, honey.”
Right, “complicated”. It’s bullshit like that, mixed with his complete absence from our lives - certainly after Mom died, but almost completely in the last three years - that have me spiking soda with wine like some sort of total amateur. I storm away from my sister, just in time to see the staff ushering Hudson into the room full of mourners along with the two other guys; Bryce and Logan. I barely know them - honestly, I hardly know much about Hudson really - but in that moment of them walking into my Dad’s funeral, I kind of hate them. I hate them because they were closer to my father than any of us ever were; the military sons he always wanted and never got. And in that moment, there at his funeral, their presence makes me feel like they have more of a right to be there then I do.
Of course, his being there is also just another lingering question as to what we’ve been doing the past few weeks. Since our pre-dawn ride to Bear Mountain, there’ve been other late-night calls and other adrenaline-filled car rides. We talk all night somewhere, or just go for a drive, or he shows me some wild rooftop in the city I never knew existed. It’s platonic, but only on the surface. We smile and do weird things like shake hands after he drops me off at my dorm. But it wouldn’t take any sort of particular genius to see that below all that stuff lies something much more adult. Something powerful and aching and sensual, and barely contained lies beneath that “friend” surface, and every time he calls or every time I look into his eyes as he says goodnight to me, I feel like it’s going to come rushing out of us like a burst dam.
And of course, his eyes spot me almost instantly across the crowd, and they linger, and I’m sure he can see the deep flush of red spreading across my cheeks before I hastily turn around.
“Ms. Archer,” The deep voice shakes me from where my mind is somewhere lingering on Hudson, and I turn to the older man with the thick mustache who I vaguely remember meeting before. He’s military, and even though I’ve never bothered to learn what any of those pins and symbols mean, I’m pretty sure the amount of medals on his chest the golden oak leaves on his lapel mean he’s important.
“Major Lawson, ma’am; United States Marine Corp.” He salutes me, and I’m sort of not really sure what I should be doing with someone so formal, so I end up awkwardly curtseying. The Major’s stern-looking mouth turns up slightly in the corners as he smiles in an almost grandfatherly way at me; “I was quite close with your father, Ms. Archer; in fact you and I have met before, though you were a little girl back then.” He breathes and turns away for a second before he looks me directly in the eye; “My deepest condolences for your loss, Reagan; William Archer was one of the finest men I ever knew.”
Great, someone else telling me how great of a guy my Dad was. It would’ve been nice to have seen that for myself when he was still around.
Instead though, I nod quietly; “Yes, he was.”
He reaches out and takes my hand, and as I look into his face, I really do see the hurt and the pain of someone who truly knew my father; “I know he wasn’t always here for you girls, but you should know that your father was so proud of the women you all grew up to be, and I know he wished he could have told you that more often.”
I realize in that moment of sadness in his eyes that while I lost the ghost of someone I should have known better, this man lost a friend.
“Your father was a great man, Reagan, and if you don’t mind my saying, the apples have not fallen far from the tree.”
I thank him again before he moves back into the crowd, and now I really do need that drink.
P R E S E N T
A week later and I’m practically tearing my hair out over this fucking girl. It’s this fucked up mixture of frosty single-word banter with the girl I’m playing house with coupled with the fact that she’s been parading around the apartment in bra-less tank-tops and tiny little lounge shorts while she’s been practicing for her speeches or having conference calls with Donald and the rest of her team; it’s psychological torture is what it is.
Part of me doesn’t want to believe she’s doing any of it on purpose; that sweet little Reagan Archer isn’t actually capable of the sort of tormenting sexual manipulation I’m being forced to endure. But I’ve made a vow to myself that if I see one more fucking glimpse of an upper thigh, or one more top of her breast just begging to slip out of the tight little tank top that’s hugging her tits and pressing tight against her nipples, than I will not be able to help what happens next between her and I.
Thankfully she’s clothed here, at some teacher’s union meeting or wherever we are that she’s giving a speech to. Honestly, I hate cro
wds; hate the sounds and the noises and the way they make me nakedly aware of William Archer’s words: Blend in. Blending in is not something I do well with in crowds. And yet, here I am, standing here and enduring. Tell me again why the fuck I signed on for this?
Reagan pushes past me to get to the stage, her shampoo in my nostrils and her fingertips just lingering over my wrist as she slips past me.
Fuck. Oh, right, yeah that; that’s why I signed on for this.
As grueling as it’s been when we’re alone and she’s driving me completely wild, we’ve also been going out to events and speeches and fundraisers, and that’s a whole new game. I’m seeing her more and more in the limelight like this, and I’m getting it; she’s amazing at this shit. As childish or as flustered as she gets when I tease her, or when we’re in the middle of this frosty bullshit cold-war, she’s fucking incredible at this whole politician thing. She exudes the confidence in front of crowds that you’re really only born with, and she acts the part and suddenly becomes older than her twenty-three years, and I get why she’s such a sensation.
Cockney: A Stepbrother Romance Page 29
