GUILTY PLEASURE (STEELE FAMILY Book 13)

by Brenda Jackson

  She tightened her legs together when certain thoughts raced through her mind. She couldn’t wait for the morning to come. Right now, though, she needed to make him believe she desperately wanted a man in her bed, any man.

  When she’d closed the door on him last night, she had watched him through the peephole. He’d actually looked stunned. Had he thought she would open herself up to rejection a third time?

  But she was holding her ground. If he wanted her, he’d have to take her. She wasn’t going to offer herself up to him this time. It was his turn to be the seducer. And she intended to make him work for it.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she put her phone down. She needed to be well-rested if she was going to match wits with McSexy tomorrow.

  **

  With very little sleep but a determination to keep Dee out of trouble spurring him on, Cohen knocked on her door at seven the next morning. He wasn’t taking any chances that he’d miss her. He had no intention of letting her go downstairs without him.

  He heard the security chain being moved back just seconds before the door opened. And there she stood. He was certain his jaw dropped. She’d just stepped out the shower. Sprinkles of water dotted her skin. He wondered if she was aware that a towel only covered so much, and at times, almost nothing at all. This was one of those times.

  “Come back in fifteen minutes.” She closed the door in his face.

  He blinked, drew in a deep breath and knocked again. Moments later, she opened the door once more. “What do you want, Cohen? As you can see, I just stepped out of the shower. I need to get dressed.”

  “Yes, I can see that,” he said, fighting to keep his gaze on her face and not shift lower. “Why can’t I wait for you in there?”

  She rolled her eyes. “There’s not enough room.”

  “I can sit out on the balcony. That way, I’ll be here once you’re ready to go.”

  She gave him an impatient look before stepping aside to let him in. “Suit yourself. Just don’t get in my way. I intend for today to be a good day for me.”

  He wondered what her definition of good was. “I’m looking forward to a good day, as well,” he said, though he doubted she’d heard him. She’d rushed back into the bathroom and closed the door.

  He inhaled deeply. The room held her gardenia scent. Glancing around, his gaze shifted to her bed. Immediately, he visualized her in it, stretched out, naked beneath the covers, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. Then he started wondering what she slept in. A short nightgown? Long? Lacy? Sheer? Cotton? Maybe nothing at all. Did she sleep in the nude?

  Knowing that following that train of thought would get him in trouble, he quickly moved toward the balcony. Since he knew Dee didn’t drink coffee, he had stopped at one of the resort’s cafes and bought his own. He eased into a chair and looked around. She had a beautiful view of the ocean.

  This was a really nice place. He wondered how she’d found out about it. Then again, it was a singles’ resort. How many of them could there be in Virginia Beach? Still, Cohen didn’t have to think too hard to figure out why she’d selected this one...in addition to the obvious. She was surrounded by kids all year. He could certainly understand her wanting to be around adults for a change. He felt the same way. After hanging around medical professionals all day, he certainly wouldn’t want to vacation with them, as well.

  His ears perked up at the sound of Dee moving around. She’d come out of the bathroom. Trying to clear his mind of images of a naked Dee getting dressed, he glanced down at the view below. It was early, yet people had already begun migrating to the beach. A few were even in the water taking a morning swim, which accounted for the number of lifeguards on duty.

  He shifted his thoughts to the conversation he’d had last night with Tyson. His best friend’s suggestion had pretty much kept him up most of the night. Could he do it? First, though, he’d try one more time to get Dee to change her mind on her own. Then, only as a last resort, would he consider Tyson’s suggestion.

  “I’m ready, Cohen.”

  He stood and turned to look at her. Blood rushed to his face…and further south. Crossing his arms over his chest, he said in a firm voice, “No. I don’t think so.”

  11

  Dee fought hard, really hard, to keep her face from breaking into a grin. She had definitely pushed the envelope with this outfit. The look on Cohen’s face was priceless. He was gawking, almost shocked out of his pants. She hadn’t thought that the outfit was that bad, although she’d known once he saw it, he’d think so. In actuality, it was a two-piece sheer outfit. But to get a rise out of him, she’d put on the top without the bottoms. She would never wear something like it in public…but he didn’t need to know that.

  “What do you mean, you don’t think so?” she asked, with staged affront, while trying not to notice how sexy he looked in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless muscle shirt.

  “Just what I said. You can’t wear that down to breakfast.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, knowing it would cause two things to happen--make him notice her breasts, how exposed the nipples were, as well as cause the hem of the outfit to rise up even higher on her thighs. “Why not?”

  He glared at her. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that, Dee.”

  “I don’t understand your attitude, Cohen. I told you what I’d planned to do while I was here. So I went shopping for clothing I knew would do the job I needed them to do—draw male interest.”

  “You’re not doing that on my watch,” he all but growled.

  She lifted her chin. “You don’t have a watch. I’m not a child, Cohen. Take a good look.”

  The only bright spot in all of this was that she knew he was looking. His gaze raked over her from head to toe. She could tell that the man in him might like the outfit, might even find it sexy as hell. However, the Cohen in him didn’t want to see it, not on her.

  “I am looking Dee and this is not you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh? How would you know? You have this image of me as a kid, Stacey’s best friend, and you can’t see beyond it. Well, guess what? I’ve matured into a woman right before your eyes. By the way, Stacey isn’t a kid anymore, either. She’s married and about to become a mom.” She shook her head. “I really don’t understand why you can’t think of me as a woman.”

  “I do think of you that way, Dee. How could I not, after what we did together?”

  Dee’s chest tightened and nerves danced in her stomach. This was the first time he’d ever mentioned their nights together. Usually, she was the one who brought it up. And why did the tone of his voice hold a tenderness that nearly made her sink to her knees? More than anything, she hoped he was finally starting to see the truth—that they belonged together.

  “Then what’s the problem, Cohen? You awakened desires in me.” That was true. “You’ve awakened a need.” That was true, too. “So what am I to do when those desires and needs consume me? You were my first lover and so far, you’ve been my only one. That’s turning out to be a problem for me. I see you and I want you, even knowing I can’t have you. You’ve made that absolutely clear. So what else can I do but shift my attention elsewhere?”

  He didn’t say anything for a long moment. Her admission of having not been with anyone else obviously gave him pause. Hopefully, he finally got it. But if her plan was to work, hope wouldn’t be enough. She needed to drive home the fact that though he’d been her first, he might not be her last…unless he did something about it. “What do you expect me to do, Cohen?”

  He rubbed his hand down his face. Whether he’d done it in frustration or as a way to stop staring at her outfit, she wasn’t sure. He then forced his gaze to her face, and off her chest and thighs. This particular outfit immediately drew attention to those places. She was well aware that not only were her nipples poking out from the top, but also the juncture of her thighs was shadowed, leaving it questionable as to whether or not she was wearing pan
ties.

  “Let’s discuss this over breakfast, Dee. There has to be a solution and together, we’ll find one.”

  Together they would find one… Umm, that would be interesting. “Okay, let’s go downstairs, then.”

  “After you change into something more suitable.”

  She’d known that was coming. Still, it wasn’t as if she’d actually go downstairs dressed like this. So, she capitulated. “Okay, I’ll change. But only because I’m hungry and don’t want to waste time fussing with you. I’ll be right back.”

  She then turned and went back into the room. She heard him groan when he finally saw the back of her outfit. It was all lace and barely covered her butt cheeks.

  She’d never had more fun in her life.

  **

  Cohen dropped into his chair the moment Dee left the balcony. Holy shit! What was he going to do? Today, he felt every bit of his thirty-seven years. How in the hell was he supposed to find a solution regarding these urges he’d awakened in her?

  He couldn’t just tell her to pretend they didn’t exist. And he definitely couldn’t let her find her own solution to her problem. God, her outfits were outrageous! The thought that she would have actually worn something like that out in public was alarming. He was used to seeing Dee in high heels with nice clothes, a typical schoolteacher. He’d never seen her in anything near as daring as what she’d been wearing lately. If she was trying to make a point, he got it. But what did he do about it?

  He thought again of Tyson’s suggestion. Could he become involved with Dee again, just to save her from the less desirable guys here? What would happen when they returned to their respective cities and her urges continued?

  Worse, what if he started to fall for her? He wasn’t sure he could sleep with her over and over again and feel nothing but sexual satisfaction. Thanks to Amanda, he’d always thought he was immune to love. She had destroyed that for him. But in this situation, he wasn’t absolutely certain.

  “Okay, I’m ready.”

  He was almost afraid to look. He let out a deep sigh of relief when he saw that Dee had put on a pretty printed sundress. It was short, but compared to what she’d had on earlier, it was decent. “Okay then, let’s go.”

  Cohen wished he could say the trek from her room to the café on the first floor was uneventful, but it wasn’t. Men still followed her with their eyes. When a woman had legs like Dee’s, a guy couldn’t not look. He got it, although he didn’t like it.

  The café was slightly crowded and it was a while before the waitress came and took their order. He just wanted another cup of coffee, but Dee ordered a full breakfast--pancakes, sausages, eggs and hot tea.

  After the waitress delivered their drinks, Dee said, “I know you said you didn’t come here for yourself, but I wish you had, Cohen.”

  Her statement gave him pause. “Why?”

  “Because you work too hard. Stacey mentioned that this was the first vacation you’ve had since taking that job in Florida.”

  He shrugged. “I flew back for both Jonas’s and Tyson’s weddings.”

  “I’m not talking about flying in one day and out the next, which is probably what you did.”

  Guilty as charged, he thought, taking a sip of his coffee. “I like staying busy.”

  “Yes, but there has to be some balance. You need to relax more.”

  “Possibly.”

  “You do.”

  Maybe she was right. He did need to take things easier. For years, he’d prided himself on being Stacey’s older, protective brother. Now that she was married, Eli would look after her. And Cohen had to admit, the man was doing a fantastic job. Stacey had all the things he’d ever wanted for her--a good life and a man who adored her.

  With Stacey no longer his worry, he should be able to chill. But he couldn’t. And the main reason he couldn’t was sitting directly across from him. Dee wasn’t the only one with desires and needs. He had them, too. She would probably find it hard to believe, but he wanted her possibly even more than she wanted him. But she deserved more than a noncommittal sexual relationship…and that was all he could offer her.

  “So let’s talk about my problem, Cohen.”

  He drew in a deep breath, glad they were sitting at an empty table in the back. “Okay, let’s start by you telling me what you want to get out all of this.”

  “Great sex, for starters.”

  He almost choked on his coffee, actually having to cough a few times to clear his throat. He picked up a glass of water and took a sip. “Great sex?”

  She nodded. “Like what we had…before you got to feeling all guilty and stuff.”

  He cleared his throat again. “There has to be something you want, other than great sex.” He had to force the last two words past his lips.

  “Not really. I’m not ready for marriage or anything serious. My hopes for anything like that ended with you.”

  She’d said it so matter-of-factly, as if that was the way things had been, but she’d since moved on.

  “You don’t see marriage in your future?”

  “I didn’t say that. I’m just not ready for it now. I want to have fun, enjoy life. Kick up my heels.”

  And obviously, her legs, he thought but didn’t say the words out loud. “And you don’t have a problem sleeping with different men?”

  “Does it ever bother you, or any man, when he sleeps with different women?”

  “I’m not talking about me, Dee. I’m talking about you.”

  She took a sip of her tea. “I guess in my mind, I don’t see them as men.”

  He found that odd. “How do you see them?”

  “They’re a means to an end. I want great sex and hopefully, they’ll give it to me.”

  “And there’s no way I can talk you out of this?”

  “Not unless you know of a way to help me calm my urges.”

  He wasn’t ready yet, to talk about the solution he’d come up with, thanks to Tyson. “Since our last encounter, have you not dated?”

  “Sure. I’ve gone out with a lot of guys. But at the time, I wasn’t ready to be touched by any of them.”

  Maybe he shouldn’t ask, but he had to know. “Why?”

  She drew in a deep breath and met his gaze. “Because their hands weren’t your hands, and I knew their touch would be different. It wouldn’t feel the same. You were my first and I was pretty hooked on how you’d made me feel. The sensations were all so new to me. Even my toy boyfriend, who’s been with me since…”

  And then, as if she’d caught herself from divulging something she shouldn’t, she finished, “for a while, couldn’t compare. You were simply amazing, Cohen.”

  He tried to keep his chest from swelling. There was no hope though, for the erection pressing against the fly of his shorts. “You just thought so because you had nothing to compare it with.”

  “True, but I doubt it would have mattered if I had. Still, you’ve made it clear we’re done. So I’ve moved on. I guess I’ll soon be able to compare now.”

  He didn’t like the sound of that. “I recall both times, you said you loved me,” he said, addressing the subject that had bothered him the most. He hadn’t wanted her to waste her love on him when he’d known he could not return it. But if he decided to go with Tyson’s suggestion, he needed to make sure she no longer loved him. The last thing he needed was for her to get great sex confused with love. He didn’t love her and wouldn’t love her, no matter how great the sex was.

  She didn’t say anything for the longest time. Then she met his gaze. “I did. At the time.”

  “But you don’t anymore?”

  “Honestly? Do you really expect me to still love you, after what you said to me? After all the regret, all the guilt?”

  She was right. “No, I don’t.”

  “Good, because I don’t.”

  She’d said it as though the very thought was distasteful. That was good, wasn’t it? “I hope I didn
’t ruin things for you, Dee.”

  She lifted a brow. “Ruin things, how?”

  He waited until the waitress had left before answering. “First love can be a powerful thing, and if handled in a negative way, it can leave scars. Deep scars. It can affect you both mentally and physically.”

  “Negative, as in rejection?” she asked.

  “Yes, or betrayal.”

  She didn’t say anything for a minute, then shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I didn’t feel betrayed, Cohen. I didn’t have any claim on you.” She chuckled. “Silly me, I actually thought I could seduce you into loving me. How crazy was that? I know better now. A person will either love you or they won’t. Sex has nothing to do with it.”

  He didn’t say anything. Instead he watched her eat, and found himself actually getting turned on by it. And as he sat there, sipping his coffee, he couldn’t help noticing a few things--like the smooth way her mouth touched the rim of her tea cup whenever she took a sip. Or how every so often, she would lick her lips. Or the graceful way she held her fork.

  “Sure you don’t want anything? You’re looking at my food as though you might take it from me any minute.”

  He smiled. He hadn’t been checking her food out, he’d been checking her out. “I’m sure.”

  “You know what I regret most about making love with you, Cohen?”

  Wow. Where did that come from? “No. What?”

  “You never held me in your arms, afterwards. You were too busy feeling guilty about making love to take advantage of one of the best parts of it.

  He felt a swift kick in the gut. He’d cheated her out of something really special, the time when he should have held her and told her how great things had been, how wonderful she was. He wished now that he’d given that to her.

  “So Cohen, what do you suggest? You know why I came here. Do you intend to stand in my way?”

  He knew there was only one way to stop her. Tyson was right. He would have to become proactive. At least, he knew now that she no longer loved him, which was a good thing. However, he wasn’t sure how she would feel about engaging in an affair with him. Having him take care of her needs.