by Cox, Zara
“Then the doctors started talking about shutting off her life support. I hated that responsibility but as her husband, it was down to me. I tried to talk to her parents about it. Fawad and Karim point blank refused. Nabila…she just wanted Farrah to be at peace. We agreed to hire experts to get as much information as possible. I made it happen. Every single one of them confirmed she was…gone.”
Bethany’s hand speared into his hair and his arms banded tight around her. She felt a touch of moisture on her chest and realised Zach was crying. Her big, powerfully magnificent man was breaking down in her arms.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. It’s okay.”
He shuddered and slowly raised his head. Tears spiked his lashes and smeared over pale, taut cheeks. She wiped them away and kissed his trembling lips.
Gritting his jaw, he continued. “Her family argued back and forth about the decision and they resented the fact that her life, such as it was, was in my hands. And I…I wanted it to be over.”
She jerked and his arms tightened.
“No. I don’t mean her life. I meant fighting with her family, watching their suffering and knowing I was responsible.”
“You weren’t responsible. She chose her own path and you went out of your way to help her over and over when many people would’ve walked away at the first sign of trouble.”
“Knowing that didn’t make it any easier. I should’ve made sure the drugs never got on board the plane or anywhere near her.”
She didn’t argue. In his own way Zach was working his way through his guilt. She needed to let him. “How long was she on life support?”
“Six weeks. And every day was hell. I was torn between letting her go and sparing her family the final goodbye. But I woke up one morning and realised I couldn’t do it anymore.” He released a shaky breath. “I called Nabila and she agreed they would meet me at the hospital. But she got there before me.” He gave a fractured laugh wracked with torment. “I think she suspected I would chicken out and I had by the time I reached the hospital. When I got to Farrah’s room she was there, on her own without Fawad or Karim. She told me her daughter was now really dead and I needed to do the right thing and let her go. I had no idea what she meant. Until she showed me the empty morphine syringe in her purse.”
Ice slithered down her spine. “My God! Did you…what did you do?”
His jaw clenched tight for so long, Bethany thought he wouldn’t answer. When his gaze met hers, her heart shredded for him. “I called the doctor and arranged to switch off her life support.”
“And you let Nabila go?”
“The way I saw it, the events leading to Farrah ending up on that bed, hooked up to machines, was all on me. What good would it have done to destroy her family as well? Deep down I knew she would never wake up, but guilt held me back from doing what needed to be done.”
“So the doctors didn’t suspect anything?”
“No one knew. The only way to find out whether Nabila really injected her with morphine would’ve been to request an autopsy. I couldn’t do it. I turned off the machine and…killed her.” More tears welled in his beautiful eyes. He blinked them back and swallowed. “Then I arranged for the records to be destroyed. Now you know everything.”
Her insides shook as she grappled with the enormity of what Zach had divulged. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
“Thank you.”
“Baby, what--” He stiffened as a knock came on the door.
Stanley poked his head through the door. “They’re threatening to walk, Zach.”
Zach cursed and looked at her.
Taking a deep breath, Bethany stood and returned to her seat. “We’re ready.”
Stanley’s gaze swung from her to Zach then he nodded and retreated.
“Bethany--”
“Go easy on Karim. He loved his sister. He’s reacting from a place of pain.”
Zach’s jaw flexed. “He came after you. I can’t excuse that.”
“I know. But do it for me.”
His eyes gleamed as he watched her. “You know how to knock my fucking legs from underneath me, don’t you?”
Her smile made his breath catch. “I’ve had a great teacher.”
She was aware of Zach’s intense gaze on her face as the others walked back in but she wanted to get this done as quickly as possible so she could be alone with him. To tell him what he’d been yearning to hear. What he needed to hear.
Farrah’s father looked shell-shocked and her brother was much more subdued than he’d been twenty minutes ago. Nabila’s eyes met hers and skittered away. Despite what she’d just learned about her, Bethany’s heart ached for her.
She turned to Stanley Reed. “I’m ready to sign the agreement,” she said.
***
“You’re very quiet, Peaches.”
Zach watched her raise her head from where she’d rested it on his chest. Clear blue eyes met his and some of his panic abated a little. She’d been silent since they left his attorney’s office and the coward in him hadn’t wanted to push his luck. But not knowing what she was thinking had finally become unbearable.
“It’s a lot to process.”
He held his breath. “But?”
“But I’m glad I know. We can deal with it, Zach. We will deal with it. I’m not going anywhere.”
His breath fractured out of him and he pulled her soft body closer. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”
“You’re not a monster, Zach. You were caught up in a series of circumstances that you couldn’t control. You hated that loss of control and have been punishing yourself for it ever since. It’s time to let it go. To let Farrah go. I’m insecure enough to admit that I don’t want any woman, dead or alive, coming between us. I can’t handle it.”
“You won’t have to. Nothing and no one will come between us. Believe that.”
Her eyes clouded and her mouth trembled. “Karim said she would’ve turned twenty-eight two weeks ago. That night you were dreaming about her. It was her birthday, wasn’t it?”
Tension gripped his neck as the ground shook beneath his feet. They’d come so far. But still he couldn’t let go of the fear that he could lose her. “Yes.”
“God, Zach, I’m barely managing to process the fact that you bought the Marrakech house for her. After she was dead. Please don’t tell me you took me there as some form of guilty substitute?”
Shock jerked through him and he grabbed her arms so she could face him properly. “Are you fucking insane? How the hell do you come up with that?”
“Because you built a shrine to her!”
His jaw worked. “No, I didn’t.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I didn’t build that memorial. Her family did. She told me how much she loved the place. When I saw it, I knew why. I didn’t think it was a big deal to buy the house and let them put up the memorial. And frankly, I wasn’t in a position to deny them.”
“You didn’t build it?”
He shook his head. “No. And I took you there because I had no choice. I didn’t want to be without you after I met you and I knew deep down that would be the last time I went there. Before I came up to bed that night, I went to say goodbye.”
The shadows slowly receded from her eyes. “God.”
“Is that a good ‘God’ or should I be even more terrified than I am right now?”
Her eyes widened. “You’re terrified? Why?”
“I don’t deserve you, Bethany. Every time I hold you in my arms I’m scared it’ll be the last time.”
She yanked herself from his arms and released her seatbelt.
His breath slammed out of his lungs when she launched herself onto his lap and took his face between her hands. “You really, really need to get over the fact that I’m going to walk any minute. Or I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”
Excitement washed away a little of his panic. He forced himself to relax in the seat as she spread her fingers i
n his hair and dragged her nails against his scalp.
“Hmm, I should warn you I was never a very good student.”
“You’re asking to be punished, Savage?”
“What can I say, I’m having very dirty thoughts about teacher.”
The swiftness with which the atmosphere turned from pain and misery to happiness blew him away. But that was what Bethany brought to his life.
Happiness.
Something tugged hard in his chest as he watched her stunning face turn even more exquisite with her saucy smile. “Well, it’s a good thing you happen to be teacher’s pet.”
Her hands went to his shirt button and started undoing him. His hands slid from her waist to grip her ass as she undulated her hips over his hardening cock.
Her mouth bypassed his hungry lips straight for his jugular. She tongued his escalating pulse and laughed under her breath when he cursed.
“Bite me,” he urged roughly.
“Hmm,” she complied. He jerked at the not-so-gentle graze of her teeth. “You taste so good,” she murmured.
“Bethany?”
“Do I need to tell Philip to keep driving or do you want to go home?”
She slowly raised her head and stared down at him. Her face was grew serious as she took his face I her hands. “Let’s go home.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Zach slid a finger into her tight, wet heat and felt her jerk against his hold. They’d fucked for hours since returning home but they were as insatiable for each other as they had been the first time they made love.
Her eager response to his touch blew his mind, made him crave more of her with each orgasm he pulled from her body. But more than that he’d felt a different, almost spiritual closeness to her after coming clean about his past that made his chest hurt every time the emotion surged through him.
If he had a choice he would stay here with her forever.
“You having fun down there, Peaches?” He added another finger and gloried in her moan.
“Hmm.” She pumped his straining cock a few times before her mouth closed over him. The sensation of her hot, expert suction made his breath shudder out.
Her beautiful body was spread out over him, her pink pussy wide open to his hungry exploration. He adored her body, would happily dedicate hours to worshipping her. That he was getting a blowjob out of it while he did so was a pleasurable bonus.
She sucked him harder, determined to unravel him. Raising his head, he tongued her clit before sucking it into his mouth.
Her cry was pure bliss to his ears. “You like that, baby?”
“God yes, I love that. Love your mouth,” she panted.
His heart jolted and a dart of anxiety surged. The words he craved every time they fucked remained unsaid. He knew he would have to work hard to earn it but he was greedy enough to want it here, now.
He worked harder on her clit, watched her body jerk and shudder beneath his hands. When she came into his mouth, her release was so powerful she burst into tears. Fuck, she was so beautiful. Moisture dampened his own eyes as her tears drip onto his thighs.
Getting up, he walked them into this outdoor, enclosed shower. The sun was still high enough to warm their skin as he turned on the cool water. He stood with her for long minutes, just happy to be with her and embrace the heady feelings coursing through him.
He would earn her love.
Because he loved her.
More than he could bear. More than he’d ever dreamed it was possible to love another person.
“You’re thinking awfully hard there, Savage. Or is the problem somewhere else?”
Her hand grasped his still raging cock. He rested the subject of earning her love for a moment and just stared at her stunning face.
“I’m beginning to think you’ve upped the sass lately because you love getting spanked.” He delivered a sharp smack and watched her eyes grow dark with desire. “If that’s what you need, all you have to do is ask.” He spanked her again then soothed her stinging flesh with a firm caress. He continued to lazily explore her as they kissed. She nipped at his mouth then sighed with pleasure when his middle fingers slipped between her crack. He teased her puckered hole and slowly pushed in.
She froze. “Zach, no.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
She flushed. “Nothing.” He raised an eyebrow and she bit her lip. “I just…Chris—”
He jerked back. “Are you telling me that every time I touch you there, you think of that fucking bastard? That every time I come anywhere near that sweet spot you think of another man?”
Bethany’s heart jumped into her throat, stopping her denial for a second. But it was a second too late. Fury washed over Zach’s face.
Rough hands turned her around. “Put your hands on the wall.”
“Zach, wait! It’s just…I’ve never understood the big deal--”
“Did you enjoy your little present back in Bangkok?”
Unable to lie, she nodded.
“The wall, Bethany. Now.”
“What…what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to erase that bastard’s memory from your mind once and for all.”
Slowly she turned around. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him grip his thick cock and pump it once. Twice.
He stared down at her ass, his breaths coming out in harsh, aggressive pants.
Apprehension, real and hot and fuelled with enough adrenaline to knock out an elephant coursed through her. His cock was a whole different animal to the butt plug.
And the mood he was in, the fury stamped on his face, didn’t give her comfort.
“Zach,” she tried again.
Grey eyes slid up her back to clash with hers. “Your ass belongs to me. Your body belongs to me. I can’t have you thinking of another man when we’re apart. And I sure as fuck am not going to allow you to think of another guy when we’re this close.”
“I…wasn’t. Not really…”
Another wave of fury surged. She bit her lip and jumped at his ferocious growl. “Put your hands on the fucking wall, Bethany.”
Knowing she only making things worse, she clamped her mouth and placed her hands on the wall. Slowly excitement filled her.
She’d never done this before. Chris, before he’d confessed to his love of male assholes had suggested it a few times but she’d refused, too uncomfortable with the idea.
Now…her breath hitched with a completely different emotion.
God—
“What are you thinking about, Peaches?” His voice was a low, growled warning. A warning of punishment should she give the wrong answer.
She quickly shook her head and forced her eyes shut. No thinking about Chris. Not now, not ever. “I’m thinking of you. Of this.”
“Then look at me. Are you thinking of how your beautiful ass is going to take my cock?”
She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to look over her shoulder the way she knew he loved. “Yes.”
He breathed out in satisfaction.
“Good. Now watch what I’m going to do you. I want you in no doubt as who’s fucking your ass, Bethany. Who’s owning your body, mind and soul. Understand?”
She nodded quickly and looked down.
Jesus. He was so big. There was no way he would fit. No way—
She cried out as his fingers slid over her clit, and pushed inside her, testing her wetness. And she was plenty wet. He spread her juices over pussy and up against her hole. Then he reached up on the wooden shelf and grabbed a tube of lube. He smeared a blob against his finger and rubbed it against her hole. Pressure scrambled up her spine as he spread another blob on his cock and slowly rubbed himself before positioning himself between her spread legs.
Her hands shook. “Jesus, this is happening.”
A raw, masculine smile curved his mouth. “Yes, Peaches, it’s happening. And from now on, every time I touch your ass, you’ll remember me and only me. You’ll take my cock inside you and you’l
l remember how fucking beautiful it feels. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Now, keep your eyes on me. I want to see your pleasure. You can watch mine.” He gripped her waist with one hand and his wide head pushed against her. “Relax and breathe for me, baby.”
A shocked laugh ripped from her. “You expect me to relax? You’re fucking huge.”
“I know,” he replied without a hint of arrogance. “Try anyway.”
At the first touch of his smooth head, she tensed. Then forced herself to relax. He pushed again and smooth became hard. She bit her lip to stop a groan. She felt herself opening up, unfurling at his searing demand. Excitement tore through her. She arched her back and he groaned.
“Yes. Work me in. God, Bethany. Yes, that’s it. Oh, fuck!” he muttered hoarsely.
His cock head popped in and electric pleasure sizzled up her spine. Her channel burned at the forceful invasion but the exquisite delight was beyond anything she’d ever experienced. She took another inch of him, cried out as he took over, filling her with sure, powerful thrusts.
“Christ you look so fucking amazing.” His voice was barely recognisable with the depth of his rough pleasure. “The way you’re taking me…” He slowly established a rhythm, holding her steady with an iron grip on her waist as he fucked her ass.
“Look at me.”
She raised her eyes to his. Pleasure scoured his cheeks, throbbed the body possessing hers.
Eyes connected, he surged deeper and fuelled the flames of ecstasy roaring through her. “You’re mine. Every single inch of you.”
His dark ownership of her triggered her climax but he controlled it, refused to let her soar until he was good and ready. Then he slid a hand between her legs and plunged two fingers inside her.
“Come for me, Bethany. Now.”
She came with a scream that ripped through the air. She bucked, cried, and trembled in his arms as the most sublime orgasm she’d known tore her apart.
