“Nobody’s going to make you a drudge,” Matt said. “We’d consider it an honor to have a woman about the place.”
“How can I know I’m going to be safe stuck out on that ranch with you and those boys?”
“He’s gonna be your husband,” the sheriff said. “It’ll be his job to see no harm comes to you.”
“I know all about men,” Ellen said. “They’ve only got one thing on their minds.”
“He’ll be your husband,” the sheriff said. “He’s supposed to have it on his mind.”
“If you don’t mind, Sheriff, I’d like to do my own talking,” Matt said.
“Then don’t be so dad-blasted slow.”
“This is one of those times when it’s better to take it slow. We’re talking about getting married. There’s no going back once the preacher’s had his say.”
“I’m not going to be pawed or grabbed,” Ellen said. “I’ve had enough of that in the saloon.”
“I will never paw or grab you,” Matt said. “Isabelle taught all of us to respect women.”
“I’d like to meet her.”
“You will. Despite teaching us how to do everything for ourselves, she doesn’t think we can get along without her.”
The dangerous light had gone from Ellen’s eyes. Matt had heard she once broke a whiskey bottle over the head of a man who didn’t heed her warning to keep his hands to himself. Matt didn’t blame her. He couldn’t stand to be touched.
“Since I’ll be giving up working in the saloon, I’ll need to do something to support myself.”
“That’s Matt’s job,” the sheriff said.
“I refuse to depend on any man,” Ellen said. “I make hats to sell to rich ladies. Don’t either of you breathe a word,” she said, looking from Matt to the sheriff. “If Mabel Jackson knew I made the hats she likes so much, she’d never buy another one.”
“Neither of us will say anything,” Matt said. The sheriff shook his head.
“I need time to make them. I refuse to spend all my time as a slave for you and your boys.”
“You can have all the time you want.”
“I keep everything I earn.”
“That’s fine with me.”
“Are you two going to get married, or are you going to jabber all day?” the sheriff asked, fidgeting in his chair.
“We’ve got a lot to discuss,” Matt said.
“Well, you’d better discuss it in a hurry. Reverend Sears is getting back tonight. You know he’s dead set against you keeping Orin. If he finds out what you mean to do before you’re bitched, he’ll start preaching so much hellfire and damnation the justice of the peace won’t be able to hold his hand steady enough to sign the marriage certificate.”
“I want separate bedrooms,” Ellen said.
“You can’t have that,” the sheriff declared.
“Why not?” Ellen asked, immediately suspicious.
“Because Reverend Sears is going to be as mad as hell when he finds out what you’ve done. He’ll look for any reason he can find to prove this is a put-up job, and separate bedrooms will be all he’ll need. He’ll create such a hullabaloo you’ll never be able to adopt those kids.”
“What you mean is, lots of people will try to keep Matt from getting his hands on Orin’s money,” Ellen said.
“I don’t want Orin’s money,” Matt said. “Let someone else keep it.”
“They’ll steal every cent and produce records to prove it was all spent on the boy,” Ellen said.
“Forget about the money,” the sheriff said. “Get all this nonsense worked out between you and get over to the courthouse.”
“I’ll agree to sleep in the same bed with you,” Ellen said, “but I’m warning you right now I’m taking a gun to bed.”
“Holy hell, woman!” the sheriff exclaimed. “You’re liable to roll over on it and shoot yourself.”
“You won’t need a gun,” Matt said. “You have my word I won’t touch you.”
“Why the hell would you agree to that?” the sheriff asked.
“Because Ellen asked me to.”
“But she’ll be your wife. A husband has a right to expect—”
“This is different,” Matt said.
“If you two can sleep in the same bed and not touch each other, it sure as hell will be different.”
“I think we ought to finish this discussion alone,” Matt said.
“I’m not letting you agree to anything stupid,” the sheriff said. “If anything goes wrong, Sears will come gunning for me.” He heaved his bulk from the chair. “You’ve got five minutes.”
“I think it’ll be better if we stop trying to act like this is more than it is,” Matt said as soon as the door closed behind the sheriff. “We each want something real bad and have to marry each other to get it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying we ought to look at this like a business arrangement. I’ll do my part and you’ll do your part so we can adopt the children.”
“After that?”
“We can figure that out later.”
“I think we ought to figure that out now. I want you to help me open my own hat shop in San Antonio.”
“Will you take the children with you?”
“Naturally.”
“It might be better if they stayed on the ranch.”
“I promised April I’d take care of those kids. I mean to keep my word.”
He didn’t press the point. A year from now she might not feel the same. If her hat business didn’t work out, she might have to go back to working in a saloon.
“What do you want?” Ellen asked.
“To keep the boys.”
“Nothing else? Not a wife? Kids of your own?”
He let his gaze fall as he shook his head. He didn’t want her to know that was exactly what he wanted.
“I’ll sleep in the same bed with you because I have no choice,” Ellen said, “but you’re not going to … You can’t expect me to … No touching.”
“No touching,” Matt said, hoping she didn’t suspect he was more relieved than she.
“Good. Because the first time you do, I’m leaving. I’ve been through that with the Lowells.”
“I’m not like that. I told you—”
“All men are like that,” Ellen said, interrupting him.
“You’ve had an unfortunate experience.”
“Not just me. It’s how men see women. Remember, if you want your kids, stay away from me.”
Ellen couldn’t believe she’d actually agreed to marry Matt, and that she was on her way to the courthouse to make it official. They walked down the street in a loose group, the sheriff, Matt, and the boys ahead, and Tulip, Tess, and herself following. Despite the warmth of the spring sunshine, she felt chilled through. She had to be crazy. She didn’t even know the man. He could be a lunatic for all she knew. People said he had to be strange to want to stay on that ranch by himself all the time. Ellen didn’t pay attention to malicious whispers, but there was a lot of whispering.
Nearly all of it by women.
No woman could catch as much as a glimpse of Matt without being affected to her core by his looks. Not every woman liked blondes—most seemed to prefer men with dark hair—but that preference went out the window when it came to masculine, rugged Matt Haskins. No clothes could hide the swell of muscle in his thighs and arms. Or his easy grace.
The haunted look in his eyes seemed to touch the heart of every woman who met him. She’d heard women say he was a man in pain, a man in need of a good woman’s love. But Ellen had her doubts. In her experience, handsome men expected to get what they wanted for no other reason than that women wanted to give it to them. They acted like rules applied to everybody except them, promises were made to be broken, and their looks would earn them forgiveness regardless of what they did.
Matt had been quick to agree to all her conditions. In fact, he seemed ready to accept just about any requirement she cared to lay dow
n. Why?
Because he didn’t intend to abide by anything he said, so it didn’t matter what he promised?
The thought made her uneasy. After her cousin’s husband’s efforts to catch her alone, Eddie Lowell’s assault, and fighting off the men in the saloon, she didn’t feel safe around any man. She’d vowed never to put herself at the mercy of a man, especially not by marrying him. Now she was about to do exactly that. She’d be alone with Matt on his ranch, miles from town, beyond the reach of her friends. Her friends! That was a joke. Tulip was the only person who might care what happened to her, and Tulip thought a woman should do just about anything to catch a man like Matt.
“You’ll be the envy of every woman in Bandera,” Tulip said to Ellen.
“Why?” Ellen asked, drawn out of her abstraction.
“Look at him.” Matt walked ahead with the sheriff and the boys. “You’ll be getting into bed with him every night.” She made a shuddering sound. “It gives me the shivers just thinking about it.”
Ellen tried to ignore the tightness that had developed in her belly from watching Matt’s jeans cling tightly to his backside and thighs.
“He’s agreed to keep his distance,” she told Tulip.
“Maybe he can, but I lay odds you can’t.”
Ellen opened her mouth to deny it.
“Don’t waste your time telling me different,” Tulip said, forestalling her. “Just because you been burned by pepper don’t mean you lost your taste for it.”
Ellen wasn’t going to say she didn’t find Matt attractive, but she’d make sure he knew exactly what he could and couldn’t do before she closed her eyes. Some women might say they liked sex, but for her it had meant fear, loss of self-esteem, loss of standing in the community. It had helped turn her into a belligerent, aggressive woman. She could see no reason why sleeping with Matt would make her feel any different.
Noah dropped back to walk with her. “Matt says I can have my own horse,” he said, his face wreathed in smiles. “He says I can take care of it and everything.”
“I don’t want a horse,” Tess said. She tightened her grip on Ellen’s hand and pushed against her thigh so hard, Ellen nearly stumbled. “Do I have to have one?”
“You don’t have to have anything you don’t want,” Ellen assured her.
“Having a horse is fun, stupid,” her brother said. “You’ll be left home while we ride all over.”
“Will you be riding all over?” Tess asked Ellen.
“I’ll stay with you,” Ellen said. “You can help me make hats.”
And cook meals, wash clothes, and clean up after four men. Ellen had no faith in Matt’s claiming he and the boys would take care of themselves. She’d never known a man who didn’t live like a pig when left on his own. She dreaded what their house would look like. Well, she wasn’t about to bed down in a pigsty. She’d come right back to town until it was cleaned up.
She felt anger churn in her belly. They had no right to force her to marry Matt. Or any other man. They had no right to threaten to take Noah and Tess from her. They had no right to believe she was a fallen woman just because Patrick Lowell said so. There was no justice for women in Texas. At least not a woman alone, without money, husband, or family connections.
Well, she wouldn’t be alone anymore. She would have a husband and three children, four if you counted Toby. She’d soon be part of the Maxwell family. She would have a position in the community, respect, safety from people like Mabel Jackson and Preacher Sears. She had been forced into something she could never have achieved on her own: marriage to a respectable man.
It still left a bitter taste in her mouth. It was a marriage of convenience, a business arrangement. He needed her as much as she needed him. She’d been bought and sold as surely as if she’d been a sack of coffee beans.
Despite the weight of her anger and bitterness, the desire to punish everybody who’d had a part in forcing this marriage on her, Ellen felt depressed. If she had to be married, she’d like her husband to care for her at least a little.
She gave herself a mental shake. There was no point in making trouble for herself. She would keep her children, start her own business, and have the protection of the Maxwell family, all of which had been beyond her reach just a few hours earlier. She needed to stay focused on her goals, freedom and safety.
The courthouse loomed just ahead, and she felt a sudden urge to cry off, to protest she couldn’t marry any man who looked upon their marriage as a bitter necessity.
“Can I pick out my own horse?” Noah called as he left Ellen and ran to catch up with Matt. “Can I have a black one? I always wanted a black horse.”
She felt Tess’s grip on her hand tighten.
Ellen took a deep breath and resolutely swallowed her anger. Noah and Tess were not the children of her womb, but she loved them as if they were. She had meant it when she promised April she’d do whatever was necessary to keep the children safe. She wouldn’t go back on her promise now, not even though she feared she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life.
“Put a smile on your face and a dance in your step,” Tulip said. “That’s old lady Jackson coming down the street. Let her know you mean to beat her at her own game and have fun doing it.”
But Ellen had an uncomfortable feeling the game had only just begun. She had an equally uneasy feeling she didn’t know the rules.
Matt offered to take her hand as they entered the courthouse. She couldn’t say what she saw in his eyes. It was there less than an instant. It was important for her to win this game, but Matt’s look made her think maybe it was even more important for him.
Chapter Three
“I’m sorry it’s not bigger,” Matt said when the ranch house came into view.
“I’m sure we’ll manage.” Ellen still couldn’t believe she was married or that the sum total of her life could be crammed into the two boxes and large suitcase that rested in the back of Matt’s buggy.
The ranch buildings backed up against a stone wall that rose almost vertically two hundred feet or more above the floor of the long, narrow valley that formed the heart of Matt’s ranch. Tall grass undulating in the breeze covered the entire flat landscape. A narrow ribbon of maple, willow, and cottonwood trees bordered a stream that meandered along the far side of the valley. Beyond it a rock-strewn cleft rose to high ridges. Cows grazed among the outcrops of gray, mossy-looking boulders.
“How many bedrooms does it have?” Ellen asked.
“Two downstairs and a loft.”
“I guess that means Orin and I get the loft,” Toby said. He didn’t sound happy about it. He’d done little but scowl at Ellen and the kids since they left the courthouse.
“I want to sleep in the loft, too,” Noah announced.
“You’re too little,” Toby said. “You got to sleep with your sister.”
“I’m not little,” Noah said. “And I won’t sleep with a girl.”
“There’s no use arguing,” Matt said. “We’ll take a look at how things are, then decide.”
“I want to sleep in the loft,” Noah repeated.
“I’m not looking after no kid,” Toby said.
“If Isabelle were here, she’d correct your grammar, then make you sleep outside for arguing,” Matt said, his temper still unruffled.
“You going to make me sleep outside?”
“I will if you intend to spend half the night arguing.”
Ellen had expected Matt to side with Toby. But what really surprised her was Toby’s reaction to Matt’s softly worded reprimand. He looked angry and sullen, but he didn’t contradict Noah again. She wondered what hold Matt had over the boy to cause him to bite his tongue.
“Do you snore, kid?” Toby asked Noah.
“No,” Noah said, clearly offended. “And don’t call me kid. My name’s Noah.”
“It’s a silly name.”
Noah’s anger evaporated. “I know. I hate it.”
“What would you like to be called
?” Matt asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Pick a name you like. If your mother agrees, that’s what we’ll call you.”
“Ellen’s not my ma.”
“She will be when we adopt you. You might as well get used to calling her that now.”
“I’d rather they call me Ellen.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” She didn’t want the kids to forget their real mother. She certainly didn’t want them to think she was trying to take her place.
“Come on, Orin,” Toby called out. “I’ll race you to the house.”
They galloped toward the small building, eight steel-shod hooves throwing up dirt clods behind them. Ellen was pleased to see Orin stayed even with Toby. She’d expected him to be lost in Toby’s dust. The child hadn’t said a word all day.
“If I had a horse, I would beat them both,” Noah announced.
“It’ll probably be best if you learn to ride first,” Matt said.
“I know how to ride,” Noah announced.
Ellen was about to contradict him, but Matt said, “Good. Then we’ll have to pick out a really good horse for you.”
“Will it be just as good as Toby’s horse?”
“Yes. We’ll go see Drew. She’s got hundreds of horses.”
Noah’s eyes lit up. “You kidding me?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“No. You look sober as a preacher. You’re not like Reverend Sears, are you? ‘Cause if you are, I ain’t staying here.”
“I don’t think I’m that bad, but if I start sounding like him, you tell me right away.”
“I will. I don’t like Reverend Sears.”
“I’m not too fond of him myself.”
“When can we start looking for my horse?”
Ellen decided she knew even less about Matt than she thought. He calmly discussed horses with Noah like he thought the boy actually knew something about them. It took only a few minutes before she realized Matt was teaching Noah. The boy became more and more excited as he learned what to look for and what to avoid.
“I can pick out a horse for you,” he said to Ellen. “I’ll make sure you don’t get one with a spavin.”
Matt (The Cowboys) Page 3
