When she left her cousin’s house, she’d sworn she’d never again live on somebody else’s charity. She didn’t like working in the saloon, but she had the consolation of knowing she wasn’t beholden to anybody for anything. She would let him fix supper tonight, but starting tomorrow morning she would insist on doing her share of the work. “Let’s wash up,” she said to the children.
They went outside to a pump on the back porch. “I never saw a man cook,” Noah said.
“Can I set the table?” Tess asked.
“I’m sure you can,” she said to Tess. “A man has to cook when there are no women around,” she said to Noah.
“Are you going to make me cook?”
“You’ll have to help.”
“Doing what?”
“I want to collect eggs,” Tess said. “I like chickens.”
“You can collect them when it comes my turn,” Noah said. “Feed them, too.”
Ellen suspected Matt wouldn’t approve of trading chores, but right now she had her hands full trying to get Noah to let her wash his face and ears. She’d rarely had the leisure to make sure the children washed thoroughly. Mrs. Ogden usually had fed them and put them to bed long before she got home from the saloon.
“Hold still,” she said when Noah tried to pull away from her. “You’ve got enough dirt in your ears to grow carrots.”.
“That’s what Mrs. Ogden says.”
“I can see why. Now wash your hands while I help Tess.”
Tess was as cooperative as Noah was ornery. Noah’s fingerprints on the towel told her he had a lot to learn about washing thoroughly.
“I want you both to be on your best behavior at the table,” Ellen said as they went inside.
“Why? Aren’t we going to live here?” Noah asked.
“Of course.”
“You want us to be on our best behavior all the time?”
“Well, maybe not all the time,” Ellen said, smiling at Noah’s obvious alarm, “but I want you to make a good impression tonight. Matt got himself in trouble with Mr. Sears because of us. This is a good way to thank him.”
“Can’t we just say thanks?” Noah asked.
“Sometimes words aren’t enough. This is one of those times.”
She could tell Noah didn’t understand, but she didn’t feel she could explain it just yet. Maybe in twenty years.
Dinner had been delicious. Matt was an excellent cook, but he had made her and the children sit at the table while he and the boys wrapped up the leftover food, and washed and put away the dishes. Afterward they had waited in the hall, like uncomfortable guests perched on the good sofa, while Toby and Orin moved their belongings to the loft.
“There’s no reason for them to move all their clothes,” Ellen said. “They can dress in their old room.”
“I ain’t dressing in front of no girl,” Toby said.
“She’s a child,” Ellen snapped.
“We’ll wake her up,” Toby said. “Orin’s noisy.”
“I’m not,” Orin said. “You’re the one who’s grouchy before breakfast.”
“It’ll be better if they move everything to the loft,” Matt said. “We have to be out of the house at dawn.”
“Then that’s when we’ll get up,” Ellen said.
“What for?” Toby asked.
Ellen was angry at herself for letting Toby’s needling goad her into speaking before she thought. It would be easier if Matt and the boys left before she and the children got up. Yet even though it was a sensible solution, Ellen wanted Noah and Tess to feel the same sense of belonging the boys did. They couldn’t as long as they kept being pushed to the side.
“Naturally they’ll get up when we do,” Matt said.
Ellen decided she was a capricious female. As soon as Matt agreed, she wanted to argue.
“We got to act like a family,” Orin reminded Toby. “Isabelle says that’s the only way to stop that preacher from taking me away.”
“You’ll be safe after Ellen and I adopt you,” Matt said.
“Nobody’s adopting me,” Toby said.
“Don’t you want to be safe?” Noah asked.
“I’m too big to be adopted,” Toby growled, rounding on Noah.
“Isabelle and Jake adopted Buck and Zeke when they were older than you,” Matt said.
“And I don’t want any little brothers,” Toby said, looking straight at Noah.
“Orin’s your brother.”
“Nobody will be my brother if I’m not adopted,” Toby said. “I don’t need no mother and father. Come on, Orin. We gotta go to bed.”
“I want to sleep in the loft,” Noah said.
“I’m depending on you to stay with your sister,” Matt said to Noah. “This is her first night in a new house. She’ll probably be too frightened to sleep unless her big brother is there to protect her.”
Noah still wanted to sleep in the loft, but Ellen could see he liked the idea of being thought big enough to protect Tess.
“Can I sleep in the loft if she’s not afraid?” he asked.
“You don’t have a bedroll,” Toby said.
Noah turned to Ellen. “Can I have a bedroll?”
“I think you’d better concentrate on getting a horse first,” Ellen said.
That proved to be a fortunate thought. Noah immediately forgot about sleeping in the loft.
“Can we look for my horse tomorrow?” he asked Matt.
“Matt has a ranch to run,” Ellen said. “You have to wait until he finishes his work.”
“I can help,” Noah said.
“You’ll be feeding the chickens,” Toby said.
“That’s enough,” Matt said. “You and Orin get to bed. We have a rough day ahead of us.”
The two boys scrambled up the stairs to the loft. Noah’s gaze followed them.
“You’d better get to bed, too,” Matt said. “Five o’clock comes awfully early.”
“Get into your nightclothes,” Ellen said. “I’ll be in to tell you good night in a little bit.” As the two children scampered into their bedroom, she turned to Matt. “Do we really have to get up that early?” She had flinched when he said five o’clock.
“We’re breaking and branding some new horses tomorrow. Jake said they’d be here at daybreak.”
“What do you want me to fix for breakfast?”
“I’ll cook.”
“Let’s get one thing straight right now: I’m not trying to take over. I’m not trying to change anything. But the children and I are going to do our share of the work around here, and I mean to start at breakfast.”
Matt’s unblinking stare made her uneasy.
“You were the one who said we had to be a family. We can’t if I sit back and let you do all the work.”
“You can help me cook,” Matt said. “Noah can help Orin set the table.”
“What can Tess do?”
“I don’t know. What can she do?”
“I’ll think of something. She’ll feel left out if I don’t.”
“Fine. You’d better get to bed, too. I’ll be in as soon as I check the livestock.”
Ellen nodded her head absentmindedly as she moved toward the children’s bedroom.
After she had tucked Noah and Tess in for the night, she moved back into the hallway and sank down onto one of the settees. The hurried marriage, the interview with Wilbur and Mabel Jackson, and moving into Matt’s house had left her emotionally and physically drained. She couldn’t fool herself into thinking she was done with Wilbur Sears. She was certain he intended to put Noah and Tess into an orphanage.
Ellen was equally certain he meant to take Orin. She had no doubt Matt would refuse to give up the boy.
She didn’t know what to do about Matt’s intention to mold them into a family. She’d assumed Matt, too, would want to keep their lives separate.
What if he wanted the marriage to be real?
She was certain he didn’t. He couldn’t fall in love with a woman who had been publicly
accused of trying to seduce the son and husband of her employer. But maybe Matt didn’t believe the Lowells. Earlier he hadn’t seemed to put much faith in their words against her. She couldn’t be sure. He had a reputation for being a stiff-necked prude. She was practically a soiled dove. Anger at the unfairness of the accusation, at her inability to disprove it, rose up in Ellen’s throat, nearly choking her.
The front door opened and Matt entered the hall. He paused when he saw Ellen. She saw a look of annoyance cross his face.
“Why are you still up?” he asked. “It’s time to be in bed.”
Chapter Five
Matt had hoped Ellen would be in bed when he returned to the house. He’d never undressed in front of a woman, and he didn’t want to start now. It would have been a great deal easier in the dark. He had been certain Ellen would take advantage of his making his nightly rounds to be in bed when he returned. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
The look she gave him was far from the aggressive, I-don’t-need-anybody look she generally used. Now she looked vulnerable.
“I keep thinking I’ll wake up and find this whole day was a dream.”
“I expect it’ll take a little time for all of us to adjust.”
“I’m not talking about adjusting. I’m talking about believing. When Noah told me you wanted to marry me, I was sure he’d heard wrong. When I realized you did mean to ask me to marry you, I intended to refuse. It seemed too far-fetched to consider. Now I’m married, living in your house, and have agreed to adopt a boy I know nothing about. I keep telling myself I’m not crazy.”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes. Things like this are supposed to happen to other people, not me.” She got to her feet. “I feel more worn out than after a day in the saloon.”
He wondered if she missed the excitement, the attention of so many men. His looks always attracted interest, but everything else about him was dull and boring. Women wanted someone like Luke, so feared as a hired gun that no man would dare touch any woman Luke considered his own.
The sound of muffled crying caught his ear.
“That’s Tess.” Ellen said.
They went immediately to the children’s bedroom.
“Make her stop crying,” a tired Noah said. “I can’t go to sleep.”
The dim light from the lamp in the hallway barely illuminated the little girl who lay on her stomach, her face buried in her pillow. She had kicked the covers aside, and her small feet showed below the hem of her nightgown. Brown ringlets, damp with tears, stuck to her pink cheeks as she looked up. Matt didn’t have much experience with little girls, but he moved toward the bed. “Are you afraid of the dark?”
Tess turned her face toward him, tear-filled eyes glistening. She looked to Ellen, then back to Matt before nodding her head.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Ellen said. She knelt down next to the bed. “Noah’s right next to you, and I’ll be in the next room. Nothing will happen to you.”
Tess stared at Ellen a moment before looking back to Matt. It was obvious she wanted him to do something, but he stood back and waited for Ellen.
“Do you want me to stay with you until you go to sleep?” Ellen asked.
Tess looked at Matt when she nodded.
“Do you want Matt to stay with you?” Ellen asked, surprise in her voice.
Tess shook her head more vigorously. Ellen didn’t like this. Matt saw it in the way her body stiffened, but right now Tess’s fearfulness was more important. He squatted down next to the bed. “Would you like me to tell you a story?”
Tess nodded her head slowly.
“How would you know bedtime stories?” Ellen asked.
“I used to make them up when Will couldn’t sleep,” Matt said.
“Do you know any about Indians?” Noah asked.
“We want her to go to sleep, not stay awake shaking with fright.” Ellen turned to Noah and tucked the sheets around him. “You’d better get to sleep. We have to wake up early.”
“I can’t sleep if Matt’s telling stories.”
“Would you like to hear a story about a little girl’s birthday party?” Matt asked Tess.
The child’s eyes brightened and she nodded.
“Ugh!” Noah said in disgust. “I don’t want to hear some dumb girl story about a birthday party.”
“I’ll talk very quietly,” Matt said, “so just Tess can hear.” Matt sat down on the bed, which sagged under his weight. “The little girl’s name was Jessica,” he began, “and she lived on a ranch far away from anybody.”
“Jessica is a sissy name,” Noah said, “even for a girl.”
“She had long blond hair, but it didn’t curl as prettily as yours does,” Matt continued, ignoring Noah. “She had blue eyes, but they weren’t clear and shiny like your eyes.”
“How old was she?” Tess asked.
“She was going to be four on her birthday.”
“I’ll be four on my birthday,” Tess said.
“I wouldn’t want a story about birthdays,” Noah said. “I’d want one about Indians killing—”
Ellen put her hand over his mouth.
“Jessica’s daddy had gone all the way to town to buy her a pretty new dress for her birthday,” Matt continued. “But that made her very sad.”
“Why?” Tess asked.
“Because what Jessica really wanted was a birthday party so all her friends could come and have a wonderful time.”
“Did she have a party?” Tess asked.
“You’ll have to wait to find out,” Matt said. “Jessica thanked her daddy for the dress. She loved him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”
Ellen pinched herself to keep from falling asleep. Sitting in the dark listening to the soothing sound of Matt’s voice made it hard not to give in to the fatigue that weighed down her whole body. Noah had already gone to sleep, curled up in a ball next to her, his head in her lap. Tess, sleep gradually overtaking her, lay next to Matt, two of his fingers held tightly in the grasp of her small hand.
What kind of man had she married? What about him had caused Tess to turn to him, a man she’d never met until today, rather than Ellen, the woman who’d practically been her mother for the last year? Matt was a cowboy, a man who broke wild horses, a loner who preferred the company of cows to people. Yet Tess had gone to him like a baby rabbit to its nest. What sort of magic enabled him to enchant Tess and command the allegiance of a boy like Toby?
Ellen lifted Noah’s head from her lap and settled him on his pillow. Matt eased off Tess’s bed. They covered both the children and tiptoed from the room. Thankfully the door closed without squeaking.
“How did you know a story would put her right to sleep?” Ellen asked.
“It always worked with Will.”
“Did you tell him stories about birthday parties?”
“No, but I didn’t tell him about Indians, either.”
“I’d like to meet him.”
“You will get your chance tomorrow.”
An awkward silence settled between them.
“We’d better get to bed,” Matt said.
He opened the door to the bedroom. She picked up the lamp, stepped inside, and immediately all feeling of lethargy left her body. Tension snapped like sparks along her nerve endings. Even though Matt stood several feet from her, she was achingly aware of his physical presence.
She went to the wardrobe, paused while she tried to remember where she’d put her nightgowns, then took out a blue flannel. It would probably be a little too warm for late spring, but the thick material made her feel safer. She didn’t understand herself. This morning Matt’s telling Tess a “dumb girl story” would have disgusted her. Now it increased his attractiveness even though it wasn’t a talent that would make him a more successful rancher or help him outwit Wilbur Sears.
She pulled herself together. She had to find a way to get ready for bed without having to undress in front of Matt. “Aren’t you thirsty?�
��
“I’m glad you thought of it. A long drink of water is exactly what I need. I’ll be outside. Let me know when you’re in bed.”
Ellen didn’t know how long he meant to wait, but he remained outside while she changed and washed her face and hands. She knocked on the door, then practically jumped into the bed.
“Tess is sleeping soundly,” Matt said when he entered the room. “Noah is still curled up in a tight ball.”
She was surprised he had thought to check on the children.
“How about Toby and Orin?” She was ashamed to admit she hadn’t remembered either boy until then.
“Toby is fast asleep, but Orin’s still awake. It’ll take him a while to settle down. Change upsets him.”
Matt turned down the wick in the lamp until it went out. Ellen heard him open and close a drawer in the wardrobe. “I’m sorry we had to move him out of his room,” she said.
“It was Wilbur Sears who upset him. He likes having Noah and Tess here. It would be good if you could give him a little attention, even a hug once in a while. He pretends he’s grown up like Toby, but he’s still young enough to miss his parents.”
She heard the soft sound of clothes dropping to the floor and had to try very hard not to picture Matt standing naked in the dark. Just the thought of it caused her to swallow hard.
“I’m not very good with boys,” she said. “I have more experience with men.” Not that she was very good with them, either. She had no idea what to do with a boy yearning for a woman’s touch… or a man who seemed not to need or want it.
“There must be some similarities.”
“I hope not, at least to the men I know.”
She felt the bed sag under Matt’s weight, and her breath caught. Had he had time to take off his long underwear and put on a nightshirt? The possibility that he had gotten into bed naked was too nerve-racking to consider.
Matt (The Cowboys) Page 6
