by Anne Rice
"I'm not certain. Santino spoke to her of his old piety and his fervor in directing the coven. She condemned him. She said time would punish him for what he'd done to his own kind. She turned away from him in disgust with him."
I smiled, a bitter smile.
"Do you understand these things?" he asked. "Are they what you wanted?"
"Oh, yes, I understand them," I said.
I turned and went to the window. I unfastened the wooden shutter, and stood looking down into the street.
I saw nothing, but I couldn't reason.
"What became of the woman and her Asian companion?" I asked.
"I don't know. I have seen them in Rome since. Maybe it was fifty years ago. They are easy to recognize, for she is very pale and her companion has a creamy brown skin and while she dresses always as the great lady, he tends toward the exotic."
I took a deep easy breath.
"And Santino? Where did he go?" I demanded.
"That I can't tell you, except that he had no spirit for anything when I talked to him. He wanted her love, and nothing else. He said the ancient ones had ruined him for immortality and frightened him as to death. He had nothing."
I took another deep breath. Then I turned around and fixed this vampire in my gaze with all his considerable details.
"Listen to me," I said. "If you ever see this creature again, the great lady who travels by coach, you must tell her one thing for me and one thing alone."
"Very well."
"That Marius lives and Marius is searching for her."
"Marius!" he said with a gasp. He looked at me respectfully, though his eyes measured me from head to foot, and then hesitantly he said, "But Santino believes you to be dead. I think that this is what he told to the woman, that he had sent the coven members North to hurt you."
"I think it's what he told her too. Now you remember that you saw me alive and that I search for her."
"But where can she find you?"
"I can't entrust that knowledge to you," I said. "I would be foolish to do it. But remember what I have said. If you see her speak to her."
"Very well," he answered. "I hope that you find her."
With no further words, I left him.
I went out then into the night and for a long time I roamed the streets of Rome, taking stock of how it had changed with the centuries and how so much had remained the same.
I marveled at the relics from my time which were still standing. I treasured the few hours I had to make my way through the ruins of the Colosseum and the Forum. I climbed the hill where I had once lived. I found some blocks still from old walls of my house. I wandered in a daze, staring at things because my brain was in a fever.
In truth I could hardly contain my excitement on account of what I had heard, and yet I was miserable that Santino had escaped me.
But oh, what a rich irony it was that he had fallen in love with her! That she had denied him! And to think he had confessed to her his murderous deeds, how loathsome. Had he been boasting when he spoke with her?
Finally my heart was under my control. I could endure with what I had learnt from the young vampire. I would soon come upon Pandora, I knew it.
As for the other ancient one, she who had walked through the fire, I could not then imagine who it was though I think I know now. Indeed, I'm almost certain of it. I wonder what pulled her out of her secretive ways to visit some merciful release upon Santino's followers.
At last the night was almost spent, and I went home to be with my ever patient Bianca.
When I came down the stone steps of the cellar, I found her asleep against her coffin as if she'd been waiting for me. She was in a long nightgown of sheer white silk, tied at the wrists, and her hair was glossy and flowing.
I lifted her, kissed her closing eyes, and then put her down to her rest, and kissed her again as she lay there.
"Did you find Santino?" she asked in a drowsy voice. "Did you punish him?"
"No," I said. "But I will some night in the years to come. Only time itself can rob me of that special pleasure."
32
IT WAS BIANCA who gave me the news. It was early evening, and I was writing a letter which I would later send to my latest confidante in the Talamasca. The windows were open to the breeze off the Elbe.
Bianca rushed into the room and told me immediately.
"It's Pandora. I know it. I've seen her."
I rose from the desk.
I took her in my arms.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"They're dancing now at the Court Ball, she and her Asian lover. Everyone was whispering about them, how beautiful they are. The Marquis and the Marquisa De Malvrier. I heard their heartbeats as soon as I entered the ballroom. I caught their strange vampiric scent. How can one describe it?" "Did she see you?"
"Yes, and I put a portrait of you in my mind, my love," she said. "We locked eyes, she and I. Go to her. I know how much you want to see her."
I gazed down at Bianca for a long moment. I peered into her lovely oval eyes and then I kissed her. She was exquisitely dressed in a charming ball gown of violet silk and never had she looked more splendid. I kissed her as warmly as I have ever done.
After that, I went at once to my closets and dressed for the ball, putting on my finest crimson frock coat and all the requisite lace, and then the large curly wig which was the fashion then.
I hurried down the steps to my carriage. When I looked back I saw Bianca on the pavilion above gazing down at me. She lifted her hand to her lips, and blew a kiss to me.
As soon as I entered the Ducal Palace I sensed the presence of the Asian, and indeed before I ever reached the doors of the ballroom, he emerged from the shadows of an anteroom and put his hand on my arm.
Oh, for so long I had heard about this evil being, and now I confronted him. From India, yes, and most beautiful with large liquid black eyes, and a creamy brown skin that was flawless. He smiled at me with his smooth, enticing mouth.
His satin frock coat was a dark blue, and his lace was intricate and extravagant. It seemed he was studded with immense diamonds, diamonds from India where diamonds are worshiped. He had a fortune in rings on his hands. He wore a fortune in buckles and buttons.
"Marius," he said. He gave me a small formal bow, as though he were doffing his hat when in fact he wore none. "Of course," he said, "you are going to see Pandora."
"You mean to stop me?" I asked.
"No," he said with an idle shrug. "How could you imagine such a thing?" His tone was courteous. "Marius, I assure you, she has cast off many another." He seemed perfectly sincere.
"So I've been told," I said. "I must see her. You and I can speak later on. I must go to her."
"Very well," he said. "I am patient." He shrugged again. "I am always patient. My name is Arjun. I'm glad that we've finally come together. Even with the Roman rogue, Santino, who claimed to have annihilated you I was patient. She was so miserable then and I wanted to punish him. But I did not. I followed her wishes and left him unharmed. What a dejected creature he was. How he loved her. I followed her wishes as I've said. I'll follow her wishes tonight, as I always do."
"That's very good of you," I replied, my throat so tight I could scarcely utter the words. "Let me go now. I have waited longer than you can possibly imagine for this moment. I can't stand here and converse with you as though she weren't steps away from me."
"I can imagine how long you've waited," he said. "I am older than you think."
I nodded, and I slowly withdrew from him.
I couldn't bear it anymore.
Immediately I entered the immense ballroom.
The orchestra was playing one of the soft fluid dances so popular in those times, nothing as spirited as music would later become, and the lavish room was full of radiant faces and busy dancing figures, and myriad colors.
I peered through the happy crowd, moving slowly along one wall and then another.
Quite suddenly I saw her. She didn't k
now I was there. Her companion had sent her no mental warning.
She was sitting alone, artfully dressed in her fashionable clothes, her satin bodice very tight and graceful, her ornate skirts huge, and her lovely white face framed by her natural brown hair drawn back and up in a fancy style with rubies and diamonds.
I leant against the clavichord, smiling benevolently at the musician who played it with such skill, and then I turned to gaze at her.
How sad was her expression, how remote, how unutterably beautiful.
Was she watching the colors of the room as I watched them? Did she feel the same gentle love for mortals which I felt? What would she do when she realized I was watching her?
I didn't know. I was afraid. I couldn't know anything until I heard the sound of her voice. I continued to look. I continued to savor this moment of bliss and safety.
Suddenly, she saw me. She picked me out of the hundreds of faces. Her eyes fixed on me, and I saw the blood rush into her beautiful cheeks and her mouth opened to speak the name Marius.
I heard it over the thin sweet music.
I raised my fingers to my lips, just as Bianca had done only a little while ago, and I blew a kiss to her.
How sad and happy at once she seemed, her mouth opened in a half smile as she gazed at me. She seemed as frozen in her place as I was.
But this was intolerable. What were these volumes of silence which divided us!
Quickly I crossed the dance floor and bowed before her. I lifted her cold white hand, and led her out and into the dance, and would take no resistance from her.
"No, you're mine, you're mine, do you hear?" I whispered. "Don't pull away from me."
"Marius, I fear him and he is strong," she whispered in my ear. "I must explain to him that we've found each other."
"I don't fear him. Besides he knows. What does it matter?"
We were dancing as if we said no such things to one another. I held her tight and kissed her cheeks. I didn't care what the mortals around us might think of this impropriety. How very absurd was the whole notion.
"Pandora, my blessed love, if only you could know how long I've waited. What use is it to tell you now that from the very beginning I have missed you in pure agony? Pandora, listen to me, don't close your eyes, don't look away. I knew within the year, the very year, that I had made a dreadful error!"
I realized that I was turning her too violently: I was pressing her hand too hard. I had lost the cadence of the dance. The music was a strange shrill noise in my ears. I had lost control of everything.
She pulled back to look into my eyes. "Take me out on the pavilion," she said. "We can talk in the river breeze. The music makes me dizzy." Immediately I led her through a huge pair of doors and we found ourselves on a stone bench overlooking the river.
I shall never forget how clear it was that night, how much the stars seemed in my favor, and how brilliant the light of the moon on the Elbe. All around us were pots of flowers, and other couples or groups of mortals who had come to gain a little air before returning to the ballroom.
But in the main we had the shadows to ourselves and I gave way to kissing her. I felt her perfect cheeks beneath my lips. I kissed her throat. I felt her brown hair with its tight waves, which I had so often painted on my wild nymphs as they ran through my thick gardens. I wanted to pull it loose.
"Don't leave me again," I said. "No matter what is said between us tonight. Don't leave me."
"Marius, it was you who left me," she said, and I heard a tremor in her voice which frightened me. "Marius, that was so long ago," she said sadly. "Marius, I wandered so far and wide searching for you."
"Yes, yes, I admit to all," I said. "I admit to every error. How could I guess what it meant to break the tie? Pandora, I didn't know! Yea gods, I didn't know! Believe me, I didn't know. Tell me you will leave this creature, Arjun, and come back to me. Pandora, I want nothing short of this! I can't make pretty words. I can't recite old poems.
Pandora, look at me."
"I am looking at you!" she declared. "Don't you see, you blind me! Marius, don't think I too haven't dreamt of this reunion. And now you see me in this shame, this weakness."
"What? I don't care! What shame and weakness?"
"That I'm a slave to my companion, Arjun, that I let him move me through the world, that on my own, I possess no will, no momentum. Marius, I am nothing now."
"No, that's not true, and besides it doesn't matter. I'll free you from Arjun. I have no fear of him whatsoever, and then you'll be with me and all your old spirit will come back to you."
"You dream," she said and the first coldness came into her face and into her voice. It was in her brown eyes, a coldness that comes from sorrow.
"Are you telling me," I demanded, "that you mean to leave me again for this creature? You think I will stand for it?"
"And what are you saying to me, Marius, that you will force me?" Her voice was low, distant.
"But you've told me you're weak, you've told me you're a slave. Is this not asking for me to force you?"
She shook her head. She was ready to weep. Again I wanted to pull down her hair, to see it loose, to take the jewels out of it. I wanted to take her face in my hands.
I did it. I held her face too roughly.
"Pandora, listen to me," I said. "One hundred years ago, I learnt from a strange mortal that in your wanderings with this creature you circled again and again the city of Dresden. And learning this, I moved myself to this city to wait for you. Not a night has passed that I have not awakened to look through Dresden to find you.
"Now that I have you in my arms I have no intention of abandoning you."
She shook her head. She seemed for a moment incapable of speech. I felt that she was imprisoned in her strange fashionable garments and lost in some painful reverie.
"But what can I give you, Marius, but what you've already learnt? The knowledge that I live still, that I endure, that I wander? With or without Arjun, what does it matter?"
She turned her eyes to me, wondering.
"And what do I learn from you except that you go on, and that you endure—that those demons in Rome did not destroy you as they claimed, that you were burnt, yes, I can see that in the color of your skin, but you survive. Marius, what more is there?"
"What on Earth are you saying!" I demanded. I was suddenly furious. "Pandora, we have each other! Good Lord. We have time. As we come together now, time begins for us all over again!"
"Does it, Marius? I don't know," she replied. "Marius, I'm not strong enough."
"Pandora, that's mad!" I said.
"Oh, you are so angry and it is so like our quarrels of old."
"No, it's not!" I declared. "It's nothing like our quarrels of old because it's about nothing. Now I'm taking you from here. I'm taking you to my palace, and I shall deal with Arjun as best as I can afterwards."
"You can't do such a thing," she said sharply. "Marius, I've been with him for hundreds of years. You think you can simply come between us?"
"I want you, Pandora. I shall settle for nothing else. And if such a time comes that you want to leave me—."
"Yes, and what if it does come," she said angrily, "then what shall I do when there is no Arjun on account of you!"
I fell silent. I was in a rage. She was staring at me intently. Her face was full of feeling. Her breast heaved under the tight satin.
"Do you love me?" I demanded.
"Completely," she said in her angry voice.
"Then you are coming with me!"
I took her by the hand.
No one moved to stop us as we left the palace.
As soon as I had her in the carriage, I kissed her wantonly as mortals kiss and wanted to sink my teeth into her throat but she forbade it.
"Let me have that intimacy!" I begged. "For the love of Heaven, Pandora, it's Marius who is speaking to you. Listen to me. Let us share blood and blood."
"Don't you think I want to?" she asked. "I'm afraid."
> "Afraid of what?" I demanded. "Tell me what you fear. I'll make it vanish."
The carriage rolled on out of Dresden and through the forest towards my palace.
"Oh, but you won't," she replied. "You can't. Don't you understand, Marius, you're the same being you were in those times when we were first together. You're strong and spirited as you were then, and I'm not. Marius, he takes care of me."
"Takes care of you? Pandora, this is what you want! I'll do it. I shall take care of every tiny detail of your entire existence as though you were my daughter! Only give me the chance. Give me the chance to restore in love what was lost to us."
We had reached my gates, and my servants were opening them. We were about to enter when she signaled to me that I must hold the coach. She was looking out the window. She was looking up at the windows of the palace. Perhaps she could see the pavilion.
I did as she asked. I saw that she was paralyzed with fear. There was no disguising it. She stared at the palace as though it were full of menace.
"What in the name of Heaven can it be?" I asked. "Whatever it is that frightens you, tell me. Pandora, there is nothing that can't be changed. Tell me."
"Oh, you are so violent in your temper," she said in a whisper. "Can't you guess what reduces me to this abominable weakness?"
"No," I said. "I know only I love you with my whole heart. I've found you again and I'll do anything to keep you."
Her eyes remained fixed on the palace.
"Even give up the female companion," she asked, "who is inside this very house waiting for you?"
I didn't answer.
"I saw her at the ball," she said, her eyes glassy, her voice quivering. "I saw her and knew what she was, quite powerful, quite graceful. I never guessed she was your lover. But now I know that she is. I can hear her inside. I can hear her hopes and dreams and how they are pinned on you."
"Stop it, Pandora. It isn't necessary that I give her up. We are not mortals! We can live together."
I took her by the arms. I shook her. Her hair did come loose and then violently and cruelly I pulled at it, and I buried my face in her hair.
