Pain lanced through his chest. He was coming to care for Amelia. Very much. Why couldn’t it be the same for her? Would it always be a one-sided relationship for them? With Conrad longing for her, and Amelia only doing her duty as his wife?
The carriage pulled up to the front door. Conrad alighted and stepped onto the walk. Would there ever be a time when he’d feel comfortable walking a longer distance to his door? Allowing his boots to get soiled from the dirt?
Think of all you’ve done in Amelia’s company. The Bird Sanctuary, holding her cat…
He shrugged. Perhaps that was nothing more than trying to impress his future wife. After they were married and the newness had worn off, would he stop trying new things even when in Amelia’s presence? Would they be like so many other London elite, hardly speaking to one another, or spending time together?
Conrad walked the few steps between his carriage and the house. The wheels of the carriage squeaked slightly behind him as the groom took the horses around back to the stable.
Giles opened the door as Conrad reached for it. “Good day, Lord Lofton.”
Close scrutiny showed the butler’s shirt to be incorrectly buttoned. And it hadn’t been that way that morning, he was sure. Amusement softened his earlier thoughts. “Giles. Having a good day, are we?”
“Why certainly, my lord.”
Conrad’s gaze slipped to Giles’s shirtfront. “As I can see.”
Giles glanced down as well. Two spots of red blossomed on his cheeks.
Conrad patted his butler on the shoulder in passing. “Glad one of us is successful with the fairer sex.” He bit back a smile when Giles sputtered out something unintelligible. Conrad continued down the hallway. Sometimes it was necessary to find amusement where one could, as the opportunities were rare. At least for him.
His mother bellowed from the library. Probably scolding one of the maids, as usual. I’m determined not to be like her, not anymore. When he reached the open doorway, he nearly collided with a tearful young maid. It was that Susan, or whatever her name was, that Giles had been with in the closet the other day, doing… Well never mind what Giles was doing. Conrad had a pretty good idea.
Images of that nature did him no good at present. It would only lead to more thoughts. Thoughts about Amelia, her red hair, those green eyes and pale skin…
“Conrad. There you are.” Mother sat on the settee, surrounded by brightly colored fabric and spools of thread.
He turned off his desirous longings for Amelia and stepped into the room. “Yes, you’ve found me. Hoorah.”
“Stop being droll, Conrad. It’s so beneath you.”
“Is it?”
“What are you blathering on about?”
“How could I possibly know what is or isn’t beneath me when I don’t know where I came from?”
“Why do you insist on dragging this tired old subject out again? We’ve already established that it’s the sole reason Miss Talbot is marrying you.”
Conrad gritted his teeth. It was one thing to think it, but to have his mother put it into words was infuriating. “Believe it or not, there’s someone else who comes into play.”
She glanced down at her needlepoint. “And who might that be?”
Conrad ignored her question and crossed the room. He took a seat opposite her in a straight-backed chair. “I happened to be at Mr. Fletcher’s office again today.”
“Who?” She may have feigned innocence but her pale cheeks said otherwise.
“You remember. Mr. Fletcher. The man who removed my tooth.”
“Ah yes. Him. Well what of it?”
“I was in some pain, so I needed him to re-examine my mouth.”
“Did that no-good commoner try to get more money from you, Conrad?”
“Actually no. He said the bone sliver he removed was included in the original fee.” He held up his hand. “Please, don’t be concerned. He assured me it was a common occurrence.”
“I… I would have asked… If you’d given me a chance.”
“Of course you would have.”
“I would.” She stomped her foot, which would have been much more dramatic had she been standing. As it was, her boot barely produced a light thud.
“Wouldn’t you like to know what we discussed while I was there?”
“Not particularly. Why would I be interested in anything that man had to say?”
Conrad dropped his gaze to his hand and examined his fingernails. “You might be interested to know that he asked about…”
“About what?”
He raised his gaze until he looked directly into her eyes. “You.”
His mother sucked in a breath. “He… what? The gall of someone like him asking after me.”
“Yes, it was the strangest thing. He reminded me that you’d been with me the previous visit and he said he thought he should know you from somewhere.”
“I beg your pardon?” Her eyes bulged.
“That’s right, he did. And when he couldn’t place you, I offered your Christian name assuming that would end the discussion as he couldn’t possibly know you.”
“And…” She ran her finger around the neckline of her day dress. “Just what did he… say to that?”
“He was quite shocked actually. Had to sit down in the very chair where he seats his patients. Went pale. Couldn’t believe what he’d heard.”
“I’m certain there are more women named Miriam in London than he could throw a stick at.”
“That may well be true. However…”
“What? However what?”
“Your name coupled with the fact that he’d already said you looked familiar, along with…”
A sheen of perspiration covered her forehead. “With what? What?”
“His daughter, the girl who helps him, you remember the pretty blonde, well she sought me out when I was leaving.”
“And what could she have possibly wanted from you?”
“She didn’t want anything from me, Mother. She checked to make sure I was all right, which I was, by the way, very thoughtful of her.”
Mother harrumphed.
“And also, she wanted to tell me that while watching my interaction with her father, it occurred to her that through expressions and cadence of speech, she felt that he and I could almost be… related.”
“I… but—”
“Related, Mother. As in… could that man, that commoner, be my real father?”
His mother opened and closed her mouth, looking quite like a gaping fish. Her hands shook so hard that her needlework piece flapped as if in a strong breeze.
Conrad leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “Yes? Have something to say?”
“I-I-I…”
“Is that so? Fascinating.”
She closed her mouth and swallowed and then reached beside her on the settee for her handkerchief. As she pressed the cloth to her mouth, she closed her eyes. A slow back and forth shaking of her head followed.
“Something the matter?”
Mother opened her eyes. “I can’t believe… You can’t have—”
“Have what? Finally discovered the truth?”
“But…”
“And all this time, my real father was just across town. And that girl, Cecilia. I have a sister.” He clenched his hands into fists on his lap. What would it have been like to have grown up with a sibling? Now he’d never know.
“Half sister.”
He pointed his index finger. “Don’t toy with me. Not now.”
She at least had the grace to look chagrined.
“Is it true? Is Mr. Fletcher my…?” The words wouldn’t come. To think he’d been with his own father and hadn’t realized it was almost too much to take in.
Loud hiccoughing sobs were her only answer at first. She dabbed her mouth and eyes with her handkerchief and leveled her gaze on his. “I never wanted that for you. That life. I was raised… We had nothing, Conrad, nothing. I felt there had to be some way for a better life. Mo
ney, prestige. I’d watch rich men and women as they rode in their grand carriages through the streets. I wanted to be them, to live their lives. I knew of only one way to get that. When I discovered you were on the way…”
“Did you love him?”
“Pardon?”
“Did you love my father? My real father?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” She blinked and glanced away.
“Just answer me. I deserve that at least, do I not?”
A small sad smile graced her lips. “Andrew was so handsome. We’d take walks and hold hands when we thought no one was watching. He’d steal kisses from me behind my father’s apple cart. I…” Two fat tears ran down her cheek. “He… We didn’t think anything bad would happen if we… And then I found out about you.”
“Did he know? Did Andrew… know about me?” Andrew. At least he knew his father’s name now.
“I-I wanted to tell him, but I knew he would do the right thing and marry me.”
Anger raced through Conrad’s chest, the pressure building, feeling as if it could explode through his shirt front. “And you didn’t want that? To be married to your baby’s father?”
“I did. With all my heart. I loved… But…”
“But you wanted the money and prestige more.”
She shrugged.
“Oh, Mother…” He shook his head as if scolding a small child.
“But look at the life you’d had, Conrad. Think about all of the things—”
“That’s just it. They’re things. Where’s the joy, happiness, love?”
“I’m…” A heavy sigh escaped from her lips. “I’m s-sorry.”
“It’s a little late now, don’t you think?”
A loud wail was her answer. Even though Conrad was angry and didn’t understand how someone could give up love for money, it hurt his heart that she was so upset at the moment. It was obvious she regretted, at least in some small way, not being with the man she had loved.
Conrad sighed, stood and crossed the small space between them. When he sat down next to her, she gasped in surprise. But as he gathered her in his arms and held her close, she relaxed.
Perhaps there was hope for them yet.
Chapter Fourteen
Amelia tugged on Conrad’s arm. “Come along, you can’t very well see the zoo animals from outside the Tower.”
He grimaced.
She knew from the conversation with Conrad’s mother that he wasn’t fond of birds, but surely other animals would be acceptable. Who didn’t like spending time at the zoo? Perhaps he was just being shy. He’d said before that he wasn’t chatty. Maybe once they’d been at the zoo for a while, he’d relax and enjoy himself.
Amelia pulled harder and Conrad stumbled into her, nearly knocking both of them to the ground.
Conrad removed his arm from her grasp and smoothed down his coat and righted his hat. “That really is something you enjoy doing, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“Tossing me about like a ship at sea.”
Amelia’s laugh bubbled up from deep inside. “Oh, Conrad, you do have a sense of humor after all.”
“Who’s joking?”
She smacked his shoulder and once again grasped his arm tightly. Mumbling came from behind. Amelia didn’t even have to turn to see who made the sound. Annie could grumble with the best of them.
Would anyone notice if I oh-so-accidentally pushed Annie into the lion’s cage? Stop it, Amelia, you’re supposed to be nice now.
Amelia glanced up. “Look. The kangaroo’s cage is just ahead. Don’t you love their whimsy?”
“I’ve never seen a kangaroo, much less met one to be able to ascertain whether or not it’s whimsical.”
Her loud laugh startled several animals and a few people. “You are one of the funniest men I’ve ever met.”
“Just think how amusing I’d be if that was my intention.”
“Surely you’ve visited the Tower zoo in the past?”
“Never.”
“How is that possible? Everyone visits here.”
“Then I must be no one, because I have not.”
She squeezed his arm again. “You poor dear. Think of all you’ve missed out on.”
He shrugged.
“I’m making it my mission to immerse you in London’s amusements.”
“Immerse? Haven’t I already accomplished that at the Bird Sanctuary pond?”
When Amelia had pulled Conrad from the murky depth of the cold water that day, she’d been surprised, yet pleased at the turn of events. He’d emerged from the pond with such force that he’d knocked her over. And landed on top of her and—
Heat rose from her chest, up her neck and to her face. I wonder if my face is—
“Miss Talbot.” Annie stepped up next to them. “You’ve gone red. Should we return home? You may have taken a fever.”
I have a fever all right. She stared into Conrad’s blue eyes. But it’s not from any illness.
Unless illness was another word for attraction.
Amelia cleared her throat and retrieved her fan from her reticule. “Nonsense, Annie. It’s quite warm today. I’m just a little… flushed.”
Conrad’s eyes crinkled at the corners and a slow, small smile crossed his lips. Was he thinking of the same thing? The way his body had pressed against hers? Their mouths so close their breath had mingled together? It hadn’t bothered Amelia in the least that with him draped across her, she’d gotten wet.
Annie stepped between them, ruining the moment. As she always did. Amelia’s fingers itched to wrap around her maid’s neck.
“Miss Talbot, I insist that we leave at once. We need to—”
Amelia leaned toward her maid, causing the shorter woman to take one step back. “Annie, you are here because protocol demands it. But you are too bossy. Please remember your role in today’s outing.”
Annie’s gasp was quickly followed by a low mumble.
“Let’s get on with today’s… adventure.” Conrad tilted his head at the row of cages.
Amelia smirked at her maid and then smiled sweetly at Conrad. “Yes, let’s.”
They walked a few yards and Amelia stopped in front of the kangaroo. “Isn’t she pretty?”
Conrad squinted as he studied the animal. “Pretty… well I’m not sure I would—”
“Don’t you love the pocket?”
He whipped his gaze back to her. “Did you say—?”
“Why yes, of course. That’s one of the things they’re known for.”
He stared again at the kangaroo. His eyes grew round and he pointed at the cage. “It’s… there’s something… what is that?”
Amelia turned. “A joey.”
“I thought it was called a kangaroo.”
“No, its baby is called a joey.”
A miniature version of the mother poked its little head over the top of the pocket. “I… see. So what is the mother’s name?”
“Just… kangaroo, I suppose.”
“That seems rude.”
“What’s rude?”
“The small one is named Joey but the mother has no name.”
Amelia laughed. “Oh, Conrad, you do keep me in good humor.”
“Honestly, that’s not my intent.”
“You don’t wish to see me in good humor?”
“No… yes… Of course I do, I just—”
She grabbed his arm and yanked him to another cage. Conrad stumbled into an older man.
“Have a care!” The man huffed and righted his hat.
Conrad’s face reddened and he mumbled, “Pardon.”
Amelia soon realized she walked alone. She turned. Conrad stood in the middle of the path, forcing everyone to walk around him.
“Why did you stop? There’s so much more to see.”
“Because I stumbled into someone.”
She waved a hand. “Oh that. But you apologized. I heard you. All’s well.”
“I stumbled into someone becaus
e you were tugging on my arm. Again.”
Amelia sighed. “I thought you said it was acceptable because you were coming to see that when I tugged on you, it was just who I was.”
“True. But sometimes, especially when it causes bodily harm to others, it might be nice if you…”
“If I what?”
“Possibly lighten your… touch.”
She’d done it again. He’d found something about which to fault her. How mortifying. Amelia swiped away the single tear that traveled down her cheek. Why couldn’t she be the way Conrad wished? Why must she be so forward? She longed to be like Lucy. Sweet and mild. But that wasn’t her. Never had been.
Conrad stepped to her and took her hand in his. “Amelia… I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“You… didn’t. The fault is my own.”
Annie mumbled something just to the left of Amelia.
Conrad wiped away another of her tears with his thumb. “I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. Truly I wasn’t.”
Amelia closed her eyes and then opened them. His gorgeous blue ones were gazing right at her. He stood close. Close enough to—
A finger poked against her shoulder. “Miss Talbot, you really must—”
Conrad rolled his eyes. “Annie, can’t you see that Amelia is upset?”
The maid removed her hand. “I… but… and she…”
Warmth flooded Amelia’s heart. Conrad had taken her side. Hers. He’d stood up for her. No one had ever done that before.
Perhaps that’s because I don’t give them a chance. I’m too busy trying to take charge.
Amelia smiled up at him. “I’m fine. Truly. And…” She darted a glance to her side. “Thank you.”
He nodded and stepped back, avoiding her gaze. Was he embarrassed at his show of emotion?
“Let’s continue, shall we?” The next few cages held enormous cats of various colors and sizes. They stopped in front of the lion and Amelia angled her head in its direction. “Sometimes I think that Sunny believes he is not a house cat, but a mighty lion.”
“You do?”
Love Birds: The Complete Collection Page 24
