Cecilia tugged her over to sit on the bed. “I know. Believe me.”
Yes, Cecilia knew. She’d been nothing more than the daughter of an injured surgeon-dentist when she met her husband. At her half-brother, the earl’s, insistence, she had taken on the role of his cousin so he could present her to society. Thankfully for Cecilia, it had worked out beautifully, even after Mr. Radcliff had found out her true identity. “I know you understand. Before, when I was at the Loftons, it wasn’t a problem being your friend, because we were…”
“Similar? Yes. You’re right. But I don’t want that to change anything now. While it’s true you are my companion, I still think of you as my friend first. Do you believe me?”
Leah gazed into Cecilia’s blue eyes, so like her own, except Cecilia’s were a lighter shade. The two could have been sisters with their coloring and blond hair. “I believe you.”
“Good. It’s one of the many reasons I pleaded with Amelia to let you come here, you know.”
“Thank you. That warms my heart.”
Surely Cecilia hadn’t called her simply to chat? “Is there something I can assist you with?”
“Actually, yes. Barrington is taking me to Almack’s this evening. I loved the way you dressed my hair last Saturday. Would you mind doing that again?”
“Of course not.” It’s the least I can do in appreciation of all she’s done for me.
Cecilia sat down at her vanity and faced the looking glass. With deft fingers, Leah removed the pins and brushed out her mistress’ long blond locks. What would it be like to have someone wait on her? Dress her hair? Take care of her gowns and rooms? Silly to even give it thought. It would never happen. Yes, it had happened to Cecilia, but what were the chances a wealthy gentleman would ever want Leah?
But it wasn’t even so much for herself. It was about any children she might someday be blessed to have. Leah’s family had been so poor. Fighting for every scrap of food. Handing worn-out clothing from one child to another that by the time the youngest acquired it, the item was little more than a rag.
No, Leah wanted more than that for her own children. Security. Freedom from worry of where their next meal might come from. Spending time with Daniel gave her heart joy, but even if she thought him serious about wanting to marry her, how would that help her fulfill her dream of a better life for her children?
Sadly, it wouldn’t.
“You’re quiet today, Leah.”
She jumped, nearly poking a hair pin in her finger. “Oh, I…”
“If something is weighing on you, you can tell me. Nothing has changed in that regard. We used to share everything, remember?”
“I do. And… I have missed it.”
“Then please, tell me what has you so troubled?”
Leah put the last touches on Cecilia’s hair and set the brush on the vanity. She tilted her head as she studied her friend in the mirror’s reflection. Leah shook her head, not wanting to give voice to her wishes. Saying them out loud would sound like she was ungrateful for everything Cecilia had given her. As if she craved more than what she already had.
Cecilia turned so they were face to face. “You know you can say whatever you wish. Anything, dear heart. Tell me.”
“I… I can’t.”
“Friends don’t judge each other, you know.”
With a nod, Leah let out a breath. “Ever since you met and married Mr. Radcliff, I’ve been feeling…” I can’t say it. I can’t! What would she think of me?”
“Have you been feeling perhaps as if you’d like something as wonderful?”
Leah gasped. “Please don’t think I’m ungrateful. Please. It would break my heart if you believed that. You’ve given me more than I’ve ever had. More than I could have hoped for. I guess… sometimes our hearts long for things that we don’t even give serious thought to. Does that make any sense?”
“Since I had been in the same situation, spending so much time with my brother and his new wife, I understand completely. I watched them fall in love. I never really thought it would happen to me. To find the love of my life.”
“You do understand.”
Cecilia nodded.
“It sounds terrible to actually say it out loud. As if I’m not content here with you. But I am. You must know that.”
“I do. But you want to find love for yourself. Isn’t that every woman’s dream?”
“Yes.” Should she tell Cecilia the rest of it? Surely she of all people would understand her need for her own children to not have to suffer as she had. Still… Leah glanced at her friend again. No. She had no wish to tarnish Cecilia’s happiness in any way. And bringing up her own needs would certainly do that, as Cecilia cared so much for her.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?”
Leah waved her hand in dismissal. “No. It’s nothing.”
“Are you certain?”
“Positive.” Leah smiled, hoping to convey her love and gratitude for Cecilia.
“You are my friend. More like a sister. I won’t rest until we’ve come up with a suitor that you find acceptable. Someone with whom you can find happiness and love.”
Warmth encased Leah’s heart. She wiped tears from her cheek and bent down to hug Cecilia. “You have the kindest heart. I truly love you.”
“And I you.”
Chapter Two
Hyde Park was crowded with those of the ton, and also companions, like Leah, who accompanied them. Cecilia stayed closely beside her, a habit since before she’d married Mr. Radcliff.
The spring air had a nip to it, making the tip of her nose feel chilled. But the day was lovely, with dim sunshine peeking out from behind whitish-grey clouds and then hiding as if daring someone to catch it.
Flowers lined the path on each side, beckoning park guests to stop and admire them, for they wouldn’t last long and would soon give way to those of summer. Leah sighed. As much as she loved living with the Radcliffs, she was often lonely. Not that she couldn’t spend time with maids as they worked or share some laughter with Daniel, but Leah longed for more.
Daniel.
Her heart jumped at the mere thought of his dark eyes, the stubborn lock of hair that often fell over his forehead, the way the left side of his lips rose a tiny bit higher than the right when he smiled.
“—the matter?”
“Pardon?”
Cecilia grinned. “Now what, or should I say who did I catch you thinking about?”
“Nothing. I mean, no one.”
Cecilia took Leah’s arm and led her to a bench that rested beneath a large oak tree. “Let’s sit here for a while.”
Leah sat. And waited. Because once Cecilia got an idea in her mind, she wasn’t able to shake it loose. Leah eyed her reticule, Cecilia’s hand-me-down, as she counted the seconds for Cecilia to ask her questions.
“Leah.”
“Yes?”
“Something is bothering you. Isn’t it?”
“I suppose you could say that.”
“You can talk to me about anything, you know.”
More like anyone. She nodded but couldn’t make the words form.
“Are you going to make me toss you to the ground and sit on you to force you tell me?” Cecilia’s lips quivered as if laughter longed to leap out.
Leah wasn’t as successful and chuckled. “Now wouldn’t that be a sight? I’m sure everyone in the park would carry news of Mrs. Radcliff assaulting her companion in the shade of an oak tree.”
“Don’t make me resort to such measures.” Cecilia gently bumped her shoulder against Leah’s.
“I was thinking about… Well…”
“A man?”
“How did you know that?”
“My dear, I’m recently married. It hasn’t been that long ago that I was exactly where you are now.”
“Sitting on this bench?” Leah smirked.
“You know what I meant.”
Leah giggled. “Yes.”
“Is there someone for whom you’
ve a tendre?”
Leah sighed. Oh my yes. She nodded.
“Someone with whom I’m familiar?”
She nodded again.
“Come now, Leah. I’m still considering tossing you to the grass for information.”
“If you insist.”
“I do.” She crossed her arms and waited.
There would be no escaping telling her friend what she wished to know. But that was for the best. She and Cecilia had indeed confided in each other quite a lot before Cecilia married. “There is someone for whom I… have developed a fondness.”
“And?”
“You have made his acquaintance.”
“Hmm.” Cecilia tapped her chin. The grocer’s son?”
“No.”
“The apothecary’s assistant?”
Leah shook her head, causing a loose curl to bounce against her cheek.
Cecilia’s eyes lit up. “Wait. Someone closer to home, perhaps?”
Leah’s face heated.
“Ah, I’m correct. Then it’s someone of the household, is it not?”
Leah swallowed. Cecilia would have it figured out in no time.
“Presumably someone about our age. Handsome? Friendly? Someone you might see when he performs his duties near my rooms and Barrington’s.” She placed her hand on Leah’s. “Ah…”
Now. She’ll say his name now.
“Daniel.”
Without meaning to, without consciously giving her body permission, Leah let out a breath that sounded half sigh, half frustration.
“Does he feel the same?”
Leah finally looked Cecilia in the eye. “He says… that is, he teases me unmercifully, saying if I would but accept him, he would be mine.”
“Then I don’t understand the problem.”
“I’m not at all sure he means it. The man is never serious. Always joking, trying to make me chuckle.”
“A man who makes you laugh is good, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but if I knew, really knew that he was serious about this one thing when he’s not serious about anything else, then I would gladly accept. I long to find a man who will treasure me, take care of me, and love me above all else. Such as your Mr. Radcliff does you.”
“Perhaps Daniel isn’t the one for that?”
“Oh that he was. That would be a dream come true. Although…” Leah raised her hand as if to finish her sentence, but lowered it again as the right words refused to come.
“There’s something else?” Cecilia leaned closer, lowering her voice even though there was no one else close by.
“I know you’ll understand when I say that…” Leah glanced down at her hands that seemed to have minds of their own as they fidgeted in her lap. “I do have strong feelings for Daniel, but I’d wanted, that is, I’d hoped that the man I married would be able to provide better for me.” Now she sounded greedy. What would Cecilia think?
“Hmm. Then let’s study this in a practical manner, shall we? You’re not at all convinced that Daniel, although you’ve a tendre for him, feels the same, correct?”
“Yes.”
“So you’d rather not set your cap for him if he’s not serious about things. But perhaps there might someone else… someone who would care for you the way you wish as well as have the necessary wealth with which to provide for you in comfort?”
Hearing Cecilia say it out loud made it seem not quite as bad, somehow. “Yes. But I suppose finding a man whom you loved with all your heart and having that man also be somewhat wealthy might not be so easy.”
“But it does happen. I never dreamed I could love someone so much as Barrington.”
“I know. But how often does a miracle like you and Mr. Radcliff occur?”
Cecilia’s lips turned down at the corners. “I’m sorry, Leah. I guess in trying to help, I’m only making things worse.”
The last thing I want to do is upset her. Leah grabbed Cecilia’s hand. “No. Please don’t say that. I appreciate—”
A rustling in the grass caught her attention. A tall man stood a few feet away and gave a slight bow. Cecilia nodded to him.
“Mrs. Radcliff?”
Leah stopped, her mouth still open, ready to speak her next word to Cecilia. Instead, she snapped her lips closed and stared up at the speaker. That man… I’ve seen him somewhere before.
“Ah, Mr... Kensington is it?” asked Cecilia.
“That’s correct. What a wonderful memory you have.” His eyes squinted at the corners as he smiled.
“Thank you.”
He switched his attention to Leah.
Why is he watching me? His blue eyes studied her as if he was deeply curious of some new creature he’d like to study further. Leah squirmed on the seat of the bench, feeling as if she’d like nothing better than to jump up and run the other direction. But she wouldn’t do that. She’d not do that to Cecilia.
Never taking his gaze from Leah, Mr. Kensington took a step forward. “And Miss, Hunter, I believe?”
Why would someone like him, someone of the gentry remember her name? She glanced at Cecilia, who, with raised eyebrows, gave an almost imperceptible nod.
“Y-yes. That’s correct, Mr… Kensington.”
The corners of his lips rose, and he closed his eyes partway against an errant ray of sunshine edging through the tree branches. “How fortuitous to meet you here again.”
That’s it… Now she knew where she’d seen him. Mr. Kensington was an old classmate of Mr. Radcliff’s. He’d come upon the three of them several months ago in Hyde Park when Leah had been Cecilia’s chaperone on an outing before she and Mr. Radcliff were wed. Like today, Mr. Kensington had made a point of wanting an introduction to her.
Cecilia tilted her head to the side. “If I remember correctly, you went to Eton with my husband.”
“That’s right. He and I have known each other for quite a few years.”
“It’s pleasant to renew old acquaintances.”
“That it is. And also make new ones.” He bowed slightly in Cecilia’s direction and then with purpose, did the same to Leah.
He was very handsome. Leah either hadn’t noticed it during their prior meeting or had forgotten. Though how she could have forgotten was a mystery. When he smiled at her, a warm, pleasant sensation flowed through her, as if the sun had come out of hiding just to shine on her.
He took another step closer. “Might I interest you ladies in a stroll around the park? It would be so pleasant to acquaint myself further with my friend’s wife.”
Cecilia glanced quickly at Leah and then back to Mr. Kensington. “Thank you. That would be… lovely. I only wish Mr. Radcliff was here to join us.”
“As do I. Perhaps next time.” He assisted first Cecilia and then Leah to stand. Offering an elbow to each woman, he beamed a smile at each of them.
They made their way from the bench, through the grass, to the path where several couples and groups passed by. Mr. Kensington skillfully directed them into the fray, urging them to increase their steps for a moment until they were at the common speed of the other walkers. It was as if half of London was at the park.
He regarded Leah specifically. “I do so love escorting beautiful women on a wonderful spring day.”
Leah ducked her head and averted her gaze to watch her boots as they stepped in time with Mr. Kensington’s and Cecilia’s. Perhaps it will be a short stroll and the heat from my face can subside. How she longed for her fan right now. Perhaps she could retrieve it from her reticule.
She tried to loosen her grasp on his arm, but with a quick movement, so fast she thought to have imagined it, he pulled his arm closer to his side, bringing her fingers in contact with the side of his coat.
Her fingers burned as if seared. As if she’d done something terribly wrong by touching more than his offered hand from the bench or his sleeve during the walk. Curiosity, soon overcame embarrassment and Leah darted a quick glance up at him. He was handsome, even more so now that she viewed him up close. Tall, thin
but not too thin, blue eyes, darker than she’d first thought, and light hair. Older than she, perhaps about thirty. Why was someone of his age, a man who was handsome and by all appearances wealthy, not married?
Cecilia broke into Leah’s thoughts with her words. “Tell me, Mr. Kensington, what was my husband like as a boy at school? I’m guessing he was one of the smartest?”
Mr. Kensington chortled. “Why yes, he was. And how marvelous that you have such high expectations of him.”
“How could I feel any other way?” Cecilia grinned, eyeing Leah to include her in the conversation.
But I wouldn’t know what to say. Best to keep silent until the stroll is finished.
“Miss Hunter?”
Leah swallowed the startled gasp that lodged in her throat. “Y-yes?”
“What do you do for enjoyment?”
Fix Cecilia’s hair, accompany her on outings, repair her clothing, although Cecilia scolds me when I still perform such duties…
He tilted his head in her direction. “Surely there’s something?”
Oh. She hadn’t answered him yet. “Um… I enjoy…” Think, Leah. Say something or you’ll appear the fool. “Um… cats.”
“Cats?” His face paled. “How… wonderful.”
Did he have an aversion to them? Leah thought they were wonderful. Their purrs, soft fur, and long tails. The way they curled up on a person’s lap as if they had not a care in the world. And that they never, ever judged a person but simply loved them.
She wanted to voice her thoughts out loud to aid the conversation, but the words wouldn’t come. A nod was all she could manage.
“I love them too,” Cecilia quickly added. “Everything about them.”
Thank you, Cecilia. Had she noticed Leah’s discomfort? It must have been obvious with Leah’s lips formed in a thin seam.
Mr. Kensington frowned. “I prefer dogs.”
“Dogs are pleasant too.” Cecilia said. “Have you always had them, Mr. Kensington?”
“Yes. My entire life. My father always had hunting dogs, so I do as well. Marvelous creatures. They can spot a fox hiding in a shrub from a hundred yards away. I love to aim my gun at the fox and shoot at the exact moment it’s flushed out.”
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