Right now, she and the man she loved faced a major obstacle. It involved his parents gifting him their home. What should have been a reason for celebration was instead preventing her wish from materializing.
She’d tried all she could to resolve their dilemma. Unfortunately, there was nothing, really, that anyone could do to make a happy denouement.
Not that she’d thought of, anyway. To her surprise, even Old Sam hadn’t come up with a solution, and he was the wisest person she knew.
Rachel drew in a much-appreciated breath of relief as she sipped the hot tea. Holding the cup in front of her face, she tried to enjoy the spicy-smelling steam. Already, Mamma’s solution for every problem was helping her to relax.
Mamma patted the top of Rachel’s hand before crossing her arms over her lap, and encouragement edged her voice. “I tossed some honey in it. It has all sorts of nutrients, ya know. You’ll feel better soon.”
She cleared her throat. In a soft voice, she added, “But, Rachel, I can read you like a book, honey. And this is about you and Dr. Zimmerman, jah?”
Rachel couldn’t stop the corners of her lips from dropping. She shrugged, hoping to deflect her mother’s interest. “Mom, it’s nothing, really. I’ll work it out. But it’s gonna take time.”
A wistful expression crossed Mamma’s face as she looked off into the distance. “Rachel, I remember what it’s like to be young.”
Rachel eyed her with skepticism. She couldn’t imagine her mother in her position. In fact, it was hard to envision Mamma facing any obstacle she couldn’t overcome.
As if reading her thoughts, her mother drew in a sigh and smiled sympathetically. Tiny creases formed around her eyes. “I’m afraid I might not be able to help you, but would you give me a chance?”
Rachel nodded. Mamma straightened and she ran her hands over a slight fold in her white apron. “Tell me what’s going through that head of yours.” With a swift but subtle motion, she used her pointer finger to move a loose hair back under Rachel’s covering.
After a slight hesitation, Rachel took a deep breath and lifted her head to take in the concerned expression on her mom’s face. With slow, thoughtful sentences, she poured out her situation.
Settling back into the sofa, she crossed her arms over her lap and stretched her legs while she spoke, attempting only the most important details. When she was finished, she said in a tone that was a combination of challenge and inquisitiveness, “Mamma, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Let’s say that you and Daddy were my age and you wanted to live here, but Daddy asked you to go with him to Ohio. I know it’s probably tough to even think of being in this predicament, but please try.”
Rachel watched as her mother squared her shoulders.
“Would you have moved with him?”
Long moments passed while Rachel’s role model gazed down intently at her black shoes. The only sound besides the wall clock ticking was the clucking of chickens that floated in from the outside. A bright ray of sunshine slipped in through the living room windows, and Rachel blinked to adjust to the light.
Several heartbeats later, Mamma smiled a little. “Honey, first of all, what did you tell Jarred?”
Rachel shifted for a more comfortable position. “That I love him, but that living here with my family completes my life.” She lifted her palms in the air. “Taking me out of this environment would be like moving Cinnamon to the city.”
She and her mother laughed before Rachel got serious again. “To be completely honest, I can’t imagine not having the support and love I’ve always counted on. I belong with my roots, just like he does.”
Rachel lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “You would never have moved away, would you?”
Rachel’s mother tapped the toe of her shoe against the floor before meeting Rachel’s gaze. “I don’t know. That’s a tough question.”
“But—”
Mamma lifted a hand to stop Rachel from interrupting. “You’ve got to realize that Jarred’s situation is anything but normal. It’s really his past that’s making your situation complicated. The past, the present, the future … When you think about it, they’re all connected. In fact, you can’t really have one without the others.”
Rachel contemplated this before nodding her agreement.
“But keep your faith, honey. God works miracles. He healed Cinnamon, and if you and Jarred want to be together, I’m sure our Heavenly Father will work out a way that’s good for both of you.”
Rachel pretended to study the floor as she considered her mother’s words. Finally, she shrugged in disappointment. “Mamma, the only way I can see that happening is to move to Ohio. And to be honest, I just can’t leave everyone I love.”
A long silence ensued before Rachel’s mom said in an emotional, yet firm tone, “Marriage is about give and take.”
Rachel straightened her shoulders. Mamma was going to offer something about Rachel’s relationship with Jarred. She listened with interest.
“I’m certainly not an expert in relationships. Fortunately, I love your daddy, he loved me, and there weren’t any complications in our way. But in my opinion, I see some advantages to this offer.”
“You do?”
Mamma nodded. “In fact, I’m glad his parents offered Jarred their house before the two of you joined the church together and got married.”
Rachel stared down at her hands on her thighs as she contemplated Mamma’s take on what had happened. Then she offered a nod of agreement. “You’re right, Mamma. Because if we’d already married—”
Mamma interrupted and wagged a calming hand in front of her. “Everything would have been fine because you would have talked this over and made the right choice.”
Rachel wasn’t sure she agreed.
“Honey, I’ve told you before that when you become one, sometimes you sacrifice what you love most for your spouse. And when that happens, you become even closer as a couple. Marriage …” Mamma smiled gently as she raised her palms for emphasis.
“It’s not just one single thing in a relationship. It’s a continuation of life together, from start to finish, that grows your love and respect for each other. It’s taking care of each other when you’re sick. It’s celebrating the birth of babies. It involves helping your friends when they need you. And the list goes on and on.”
Rachel still couldn’t imagine leaving her family and Old Sam. Right now, they were her security blanket. She couldn’t consider ever giving them up.
“You know that if you moved, Rachel, you’d still have our love and support.”
Rachel’s jaw dropped in surprise. Was Mamma encouraging her to go to Ohio?
“Mamma? You and Daddy never planned on me leaving, I’m sure. Wouldn’t you be disappointed?”
The corners of her mom’s lips lifted into a sympathetic grin. “Of course we’d miss you, but we have plenty of memories that will never disappear. When you marry, you’ll start a brand-new life and new memories with your husband.”
She hesitated, crossing her legs at the ankles and holding Rachel’s gaze. “I’ve no doubt of your love for Jarred.”
“No?”
Mamma shook her head. “When I watch you together, I catch a strong bond that’s a combination of respect and friendship. With those two things, the two of you can work out any problem. Just keep praying, Rachel, for God to guide you.”
A long pause ensued before Rachel replied. “Old Sam told me something the other day that has been bothering me. He’s making a hope chest for a couple that just had a baby.”
“I don’t understand. What’s troubling about that?”
“Nothing with the baby. But they’d been told they couldn’t have children.” She sighed. “Mamma, if a doctor said that to me, I would be devastated.” She gave a gentle lift of her shoulders.
“And according to Old Sam, most of what happens to us is out of our grasp. And the only thing that we have control of is how we react.”
Mamma offered a slow nod. “Old Sam is wise. We’re fortunate to have his expertise.” She went on. “Rachel, your father and I have done our best to raise you to love and trust our Heavenly Father. That’s our most important duty as parents. As far as other things?”
Mamma gave a slight move of her head. “It’s up to you to pray for guidance to do your best. We truly are grateful to your doctor friend for everything he’s done. Not only did he come to Cinnamon’s rescue, but he’s helped Paula get up to date on her vaccines. And d’you know he told your father to forget the bill?”
Rachel was sure her eyes had doubled in size. Because she was fully aware of the countless hours Jarred had invested in their horses.
“We’d love to have him for dinner to personally show our appreciation. Friday, the whole family’s coming. We’ve invited Old Sam, too. Why don’t you ask Jarred to join us?”
*
Talking and laughter filled the Kauffman home. As Jarred stepped into the kitchen, his reception was overwhelming. The home was practically shoulder to shoulder yet, oddly, there seemed to be enough room.
Enticing smells of homemade dishes filled Jarred’s nostrils. He smiled a little. It was no secret that Mrs. Kauffman was a great cook.
Jarred met Rachel’s sisters and their husbands and children. In her cooking apron, Mrs. Kauffman prepared the buffet while Rachel and Jarred chatted. A white cloth covered the big table. Card tables placed throughout the kitchen and the dining and living rooms were set with place mats and silverware rolled in napkins.
As two of Rachel’s sisters laughed at something their children did, Jarred supposed that this many people for dinner wasn’t unusual for this family. He mentally compared the noise and the loving camaraderie to his lonely upbringing. An ache pinched his chest as he wondered what it would be like to be part of such a large, loving clan.
Now he truly had a taste of Rachel’s life, but to his surprise, this full house didn’t leave him feeling out of place. On the contrary, a certain homespun goodness floated through the air, warming Jarred’s heart and helping him to experience a strange, wonderful closeness.
A mixture of emotions filled him. He wasn’t sure what they were; all he knew was that they were happy ones.
While three of Rachel’s sisters talked with him about the Cheese Festival and the petting zoo, Jarred absorbed the comforting, satisfying sensation that filled him.
It had been over two decades since he’d experienced such security, and it didn’t take long for him to decide that being one of the Kauffmans would be a great blessing. Whoever married into this Christian family would be welcomed with open arms.
From the get-go, he’d been most intrigued by Old Sam. Jarred had taken the widower’s hand in a warm greeting. Sam’s grip was firm, yet reassuring. Jarred took note of his long, artistic-looking fingers.
Immediately, he had no doubt why Rachel liked him. The tall man with gray-white hair and a matching beard talked to Jarred about his horse, Ginger. As he spoke, a light halo lingered around his deep brown eyes.
“And your hope chest stories fascinate me.” Jarred went on, “Rachel shares them with me.”
When Old Sam grinned, his eyes sparkled. “I must be the luckiest man in the world with my three to take care of me. Rachel, Annie, and Rebecca.”
As he said their names, his eyes glistened with moisture. “God never ceases to bless me. After my wife passed on, the trio stepped right in to make sure I was okay. By the same token, I feel a responsibility to make sure they’re all right, too.”
When Jarred met his gaze, he noted an especially protective expression in Old Sam’s eyes.
A combination of seriousness and great affection edged his voice. “Rachel has an exceptionally large heart, Dr. Zimmerman. I love her like a granddaughter. And right now, she’s afraid of losing you. You’re a bright young man, and I know that house in Ohio stirs great memories of you and your brother, but your whole life’s ahead of you.”
He hesitated, running his fingers over his beard. “Memories stay in your heart. But if I’ve learned anything throughout my life, it’s that the future’s all about making new ones. Give those words some thought, son.”
Sam offered a slight nod and patted Jarred on the back with affection. As soon as he did so, two of Rachel’s nieces ran into Jarred while they chased each other, nearly knocking him over. The moment that happened, an uncle stepped in to reprimand them, and Jarred found himself talking crops with Rachel’s brothers-in-law.
Mr. Kauffman interrupted to say the prayer. As everyone gathered close, Jarred took in two long tables of food covered with large metal containers with candles burning beneath them, obviously to keep the food warm.
After the blessing, there was a unanimous “amen.”
In the buffet line, Jarred’s heart raced, but he couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong as he kept up with the different conversations around him.
As he plucked a piece of fried chicken with plastic tongs and put it on his cream-colored plate, one of the mothers reminded her children to only take what they could eat.
While Jarred eyed the sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing, chicken and homemade noodles, yeast bread, and meat loaf, he grinned at the realization that cleaning his plate wouldn’t be difficult. The challenge would be fitting everything he wanted onto the regular-sized dinnerware.
He and Rachel sat with her parents, Old Sam, and two sisters and their husbands at the main table. Mostly, the conversation hinged around how Jarred had become interested in healing animals.
As Jarred explained his brother’s love of horses from an early age, he found himself talking about Matt, about how he was committed to start an animal shelter in his name.
As they chitchatted about Cinnamon and Jarred’s success stories, Jarred couldn’t take his eyes off the young boys with suspenders over their narrow shoulders.
As the conversation continued, he found himself wondering what it would be like to have his own sons. With Rachel.
Chapter Seventeen
That evening, Jade closed his eyes as Jarred touched his golden head. “You trust me,” Jarred said with a surprised breath. He squatted and stayed very still while he gently caressed the sensitive area behind Jade’s ears.
As he studied God’s special creature, he considered the huge progress they’d made in their relationship since the start of the summer.
When he was even with the kitchen table, he glanced down at the real estate paperwork and stopped. WE HELP MAKE NEW MEMORIES. Old Sam’s low voice floated through Jarred’s head: “The future is all about making new ones.”
Not sure why the subject kept stealing his attention, Jarred quickly shrugged it off and turned his attention to the box at the side of the couch and the books from veterinary school neatly stacked inside.
He stepped to Matt’s picture, took the frame between his hands, and held it in front of him while he got comfortable on the couch.
He laid the photo on his thighs and reached for the remote. After flipping to the local news, he put the clicker to the side and once again took his brother’s picture in his hands.
While he stared into Matt’s eyes, the newscaster’s voice competed with the evening’s conversations that replayed inside Jarred’s head.
“Memories stay in your heart. But the future’s all about making new ones.” As Jarred could almost hear Sam Beachy speaking those potent words, he muted the television. With great affection, he traced his pointer finger over the smooth glass and considered the old widower’s take on memories.
Jarred smiled a little. He fully understood why Rachel liked Sam. The man was wise, and there was something about the sparkle in his eyes that convinced you he was taking in with interest every word you said.
But his opinion about memories struck a familiar chord. Still holding the photograph, Jarred stared straight ahead. He didn’t pay any attention to the newscaster on the television. He suddenly realized why the statement was so recognizabl
e: because he had heard it before.
Or seen it, anyway. It resembled the slogan at the top of the real estate agent’s letter on his table.
Enjoying the pleasant scent of cut grass that drifted in on the evening breeze, Jarred relaxed against the soft sofa cushions, but Sam’s words reverberated over and over in his mind until he frowned.
Why am I stuck on preserving old memories? Memories have made me who I am. They have everything to do with why I think like I do and how I form my opinions. But Sam does have a point: New experiences will make my future. Don’t I need both?
Heaving a sigh of frustration, he laid Matt’s picture to his right and leaned forward, crossing his arms over his legs while he pondered the value of memories and what role they played in his life.
Jade meandered into the living room and claimed the area on the carpet next to his feet. Jarred spoke in a low tone. “I’ll bet you’ve got memories you’d rather not remember, boy.”
But Jarred didn’t want to forget his. Even the bad ones. For some reason, he yearned to hold on to everything that had contributed to who he was.
But did he really need to move to Ohio to savor the time he’d spent with his brother? As good as those days had been, could they sustain him throughout his life? Or was Sam right?
*
Rachel tried to pay attention at church in the Yoder home, but Jarred’s inevitable move to Ohio filled her thoughts. Conflicting emotions hit her until she drew her eyebrows together with skepticism. It was common knowledge that there were plenty of Amish folk in Ohio.
As Rachel admitted the depth of her feelings for him, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. When you truly love someone, you give up what you love most for them. She’d already given him Cinnamon. Should she also forfeit her roots to be with him?
Mamma had told Rachel that she would always have her family’s love and support, wherever she lived. Moving away would be the biggest sacrifice Rachel had ever made, but it was the only way her dream could come true.
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