She didn’t know how much time had passed before she opened them again and saw someone walking alone in the sand, dwarfed by the industrial equipment around him. Kayla could tell by his relaxed gait that it was Jeremy. She was at the door before she even acknowledged her desire to run out into the night. There, thoughts of Sebastian sobered her, causing her legs to go rigid. He told her that she wasn’t a prisoner, that she’d find no guards keeping her locked away in the room, but the entire world was dangerous, every part of it, down to this place and his Archs, especially…
Kayla shook her head, bolting from the room and hurrying down the corridors, looking for a door that led outside. This part of the stronghold was eerily quiet, and she felt as though her breathing was thunderously loud. Holding her next inhale high in her chest, she spotted a way out and, stumbling into the sand, she found Jeremy sitting against the building she emerged from, looking up at the sky. Kayla walked towards him, and although she was sure he noticed her presence, he didn’t move. She sat down at his side and turned her gaze toward the moon, neither one of them speaking for a long time.
Jeremy was the first to make a sound. “You’re okay.” His whisper was almost carried off by the wind.
“You haven’t come to find out.”
She felt his body stiffen. “What happened with Za’in?”
“Nothing…we’ve just talked,” she said, the volume of her voice dropping at the end of her statement.
A bitter smile flickered over his features, but he didn’t say a thing.
Kayla dug her bare toes into the sand, certain he knew she was lying. “Have you seen Kittie?” she asked loudly, hoping to change the subject.
His head whipped in her direction. “What did he tell you?” Jeremy growled.
“N-nothing! That she’d be gone for a while…but I missed—”
He turned away, his shoulders slumping. “You wouldn’t know anything about it anyways,” he spat. “Don’t start thinking he’s telling you the truth about stuff.” Jeremy paused, taking a shuddering breath, and when he spoke again his voice was soft. “Za’in is preparing her to be my new Ophan. It’s all my fault…”
“Is that bad? Isn’t it a promotion?”
“It’s an excuse.” He dropped his head into his hands.
Her fingers hovered in the air, stopping before they touched his shoulder. “Jeremy, what’s happening?”
In two sudden, violent movements he opened up his armored vest, pulled his undershirt over his head, and faced her bare-chested. His arms and torso were traced with scars, but it was the tattoo on his chest that he was presenting to her. It was a cross with pointed ends; the vertical arms were short, but the horizontal line was long, almost reaching his armpits. The ends of each cross arm were intersected with a perpendicular line. “I took this willingly. I did what I had to. Kit always found a way around it. But he’s not going to stop now… Fuck!” he cried out in frustration.
“Because she’s going to be an Ophan…?”
Jeremy let his head hang. “I said it’s just an excuse. But I let it happen. If I didn’t kill my Ophan, she’d still be here with me. I should have known he’d do this. She’s good enough to have been an officer a long time ago, but he didn’t trust her without the cross.” He looked up at Kayla. “He hasn’t tried to mark her for years. But you’ve renewed him. Finding you…has driven him further.” His irises were hard and translucent.
Kayla tried to ignore his last two sentences. “You’re afraid…because of what it did to you?”
He laughed harshly. “This thing I carry — I’ve been lucky. Each one of us that took this had to make a choice. Lie down and die out in this world, or be a part of something that will win. The answer is simple. And he even sweetened the deal. Let this ink and blood pierce you, and who knows what new power you’ll obtain. It wasn’t a lie. But never mind about your soul, if you have one. You’ll never be free of him…” He stared into the sand, speaking to himself now. “Maybe I can dodge that bullet. Even now, he can’t command me through this mark…”
She tried to piece his words together. “He hasn’t perfected his communication system with you…”
Jeremy looked up at her sharply. “He told you that?”
Kayla didn’t answer him, her mind racing. “He uses these marks…to send orders? He can talk to you through them?”
“That’s one way they’re used. The thing is, that part doesn’t seem to work with me. It almost stopped me from becoming an Arch. But I guess it can be overlooked when you’re some Saros kid…” He must have seen the question flicker across her face because he paused, sighing. “It’s a wonder you’ve survived so long, you know that? I bet you still don’t even know about the Eclipse.”
She shook her head and he moved closer, his eyes still trained on the heavens. “Stars are all fire and pressure, exploding ceaselessly in the abyss,” he whispered. “The world teaches us that violence is natural, but the sky pretends it’s beautiful too. Stars die like we do — victims of their own mechanisms of survival. We don’t notice when it happens; we only see what we can’t avoid.”
“The sun?”
“Yeah, and it went dark once, almost eighteen years ago. It was a simple matter of the moon moving into the sun’s path — it’s happened before and it’ll happen again — but this Eclipse was different. The world noticed. Less than eight minutes of darkness, and it wasn’t the sun that exploded, but everything below. They say mountains sank into the earth and oceans rose over cities…the ground shuddered and split open, and the deserts expanded. The years that followed were worse. If there was ever order before, it was finally gone. People didn’t rebuild, they destroyed. Some acted out of fear, others embraced their primal impulses, while some just seized opportunity. Kids like me didn’t know what the world really was like before, but we were blamed anyways, just for being born at the wrong time. Superstitious bullshit. It was the first total eclipse of this illfated Saros series, so we were branded with that title.” He paused, shaking his head. “What am I saying, ‘we?’ ” he muttered, “it was just me where I came from, and the other Saros kids around the world are probably all dead now…”
Kayla was afraid of the desolation in his eyes. “You said it was going to happen again?” she managed.
“In less than two months, yeah. The next Eclipse in the series will be identical, but fully visible in a different location. West. Little more than a week after my birthday.” His eyes cleared and he looked back at her. “Hey, don’t be scared,” he scoffed. “It’s superstition, remember? Sure, the masses will freak out and cause the destruction they’re afraid of, but you’re here with us now. No one fucks with the Spheres.”
“So it was a coincidence?”
“I dunno. Doesn’t matter.”
Kayla’s brow tightened. “No…it does. Sebastian wanted you to be an Arch because you’re a Saros child. That same thing other people hated you for — he finds it valuable. He was looking for me and I have a relic; you know that. That’s tied to the story of the Angels, inhabitants of Heaven, realm of the sun. He wants to change the world. You said it yourself in Kittie’s room! And there’s a sense of urgency here… I know you can feel it. Something is going to happen during this next Eclipse.”
“Shit happens all the time, Kayla.”
“He didn’t tell you, did he?” she murmured.
“Of course Za’in has something planned,” Jeremy snapped. “He always does. But I don’t care what happens when the sky darkens. I don’t live under its shadow anymore.”
Kayla cringed. She didn’t know how she hoped this would go, but she didn’t mean to keep hitting his sore spots like this. “I’m sorry. I’m talking about things I don’t understand. I’ll ask him about Kittie; I’m sure she’s okay—”
Jeremy roughly grabbed her wrist, stopping her from fleeing. “Hey, relax. This got weird quick. Forget it. And you’re right, even though you don’t know it… Kit always ends up on top. She’s a tough girl. It wouldn’t be the first
time Za’in went for her. He knows she’s different, and he doesn’t like people to keep their own secrets.” There was a trace of a smile on his face. “But he doesn’t know what he’s getting into with her — she always gets her way. I’m the one that’s having a hard time with it. She’ll come back laughing and I’ll just be glad she’s my Ophan.”
Kayla watched him visibly relax. The pain, rage, and fear in him had boiled to the surface, and then sunk beneath his cool exterior again as quickly as it arose. Jeremy seemed cleansed by the rapid-fire release of those emotions. He glanced back at her a few times when her gaze was fixed on the stars, and something about the quality of his attention made her feel as though he recognized her place in that process tonight.
She was moved by a strange sense of belonging. This wasn’t what she expected when she ran away in search of answers, but wasn’t she finally uncovering truth? The feeling first emerged in Sebastian’s studio. Each day under his tutelage she became stronger and more able to express herself through her Intercessor. She was told a few stories about her father, and there was still the promise that Asher Serafin would be here soon. She wasn’t troubled by Jeremy’s ominous statements. Sebastian was a leader, and she knew that required him to make difficult choices. Whatever those actions were, it was the Earth’s welfare he had in mind, so couldn’t his sins be forgiven? Even now, her lingering resentment towards Jeremy was being washed away by her new understanding of his circumstances.
As she watched the clouds moving past the stars, Kayla could feel the vastness of the heavens and the earth, and the pressure of the two of them sitting right in the rift. She thought of the empty spaces she still needed to fill between the past and the present, and she wondered if her father had ever been in this same spot before.
“Jeremy, you’re the Arch of the Second Sphere, right?”
“Mm.”
“Do you know which Sphere my father commanded?”
She could feel the tightness return to his muscles. “I thought you didn’t know anything about that.”
“I don’t. Not really.”
Jeremy wouldn’t meet her eyes. “First Sphere. Now don’t ask me any more of those kinds of questions.”
Kayla let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine, I’ll just ask Sebastian.”
His hand closed over hers instinctively, as if he was going to pull her away from harm. “Don’t. You’re playing a dangerous game with him, Kayla.”
Her voice raised a little, defensively. “What else am I supposed to do? You brought me here and then left me alone with him.” She looked down at their hands, hers almost completely obscured by his long, calloused fingers and heavy knuckles. His touch was gentle again, like it was that night… “How long has it been since I’ve seen you?”
He didn’t let go. “There were things I had to take care of. Besides, I thought it would be better if I stayed away.”
She understood what he meant by that, and she closed her eyes in embarrassment. “Can you blame me for not knowing what I wanted?”
“Look, you’re lonely. Stay with me until Kit comes back.” He kept his face turned from her. “But if you don’t know what you want, then you still won’t be able to tell if I’m trapping you or saving you.”
“Either way, I can see now that you’re lonely too.”
Jeremy’s features were hidden by the shadow of his dark hair. Kayla could only see his smile, both resistant and resigned. He stood up suddenly, pulling her with him. Led by her wrist, she stumbled in the sand, catching her balance against his chest. He looked down at her, grinning. “Even the stars look peaceful from a distance, right?”
He didn’t let go of her hand as they walked silently over the desert floor and through darkened corridors, beneath the shadows cast by the crisscrossing iron bars above.
8
Jeremy had quietly left the room before dawn, careful not to rouse her, but Kayla had noticed him leaving her side. She could hear him slide into his boots, and softly pull his shirt down over his head. The next sound was the gentle tug of his body armor being tied into place. He moved like someone used to taking extra care to be silent, even now in his own room. It was just another sign that pointed to Kittie.
Without her, Jeremy seemed ill at ease. Last night’s display of vulnerability was the proof that a piece of him was missing. Kittie’s constant presence at his side was natural, unobtrusive, and something he had maybe even taken for granted. For the first time, Kayla saw clearly that the energy for each of his relaxed movements was circling around empty space, and his simple consideration for her was routine, as she served as a substitute in the void that Kittie left behind. As he lay beside her in those early morning hours, Kayla noticed how effortlessly he kept to his side of the small bed; it was natural to not disturb a companion beside him.
Now that he was gone, she recalled the image of him stretched out on his back, his eyes closed, one arm lying limp beside him while the other draped across his forehead. With both of them protected by the darkness, he was able to say the words that weighed so heavily on him.
“Kit…we’ve never been apart. Almost twelve years together, more than five of those with Za’in, and she’s never been afraid of anything. Before I met her, I thought I was tough — I didn’t know any better. It’s weird thinking about it now. I was just a little kid, but I can’t remember a moment of innocence. I always felt like me. Even then, I didn’t want to admit that it hurt…everyone in that place calling me ‘Saros’ every god damned day, no one letting me forget what I was or teaching me anything at all. Some of them were too young to even know why they should hate me. Maybe the world is fucked now, but I don’t know if I believe things were ever really better. Not really. Not that I would know. But then Kit came.” There was a smile in his exhalation. “And with her, it was never about escape, and she thought things were beautiful. Sure, when we got outta there things were even harder for a while, but I felt free and clean, no matter what I had to do for us to get by. I never thought it was strange that she didn’t get any older. Kit was Kit. She was right as she was. I knew there were things about her that she hid from me, and that was okay. She had her reasons. I always tried to take care of her, but it was probably the other way around, no matter how much I fought it…
“But it just built up in me. I was sick of being on the short end of the stick. Sick to death. Nothing changes except who’s on top, so I knew I had to be on the winning side of the struggle. I had to be stronger. So I joined Za’in, took my mark, and I got stronger. I was climbing, and Kit was with me. I can’t even say that I did things I wasn’t proud of, it was never a question of that. I was backing the right horse. Nothing else really mattered. Still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy that she couldn’t be marked, that Za’in couldn’t figure her out. It was what he deserved for trying. What did he need to know for anyways? She did as she was told, she made herself useful — she knows how to survive. But I’ve seen what he’s capable of. She’s been gone for too long, and if anything happens to her…” He trailed off, the hand at his side curling into a fist. He didn’t move again until later that morning when he left the room.
Kayla had wanted to reach out for him then, to touch his clenched fingers, but she was afraid of any of the possible consequences she could imagine for that action. Her frozen indecision led to a fitful sleep. Now, as she lay there alone, she felt even further from rest.
Light had started to enter the room through two small windows. She noticed that although his room was larger than Kittie’s, there wasn’t much of a difference between them. Kayla rolled over, her face pressed against the pillow that Jeremy had given up to her last night. She told herself that her stillness in this position had nothing to do with the scent she caught in each deep breath.
She knew she had stayed here long enough daydreaming, and soon it would be time for her lesson with Sebastian. Kayla’s fingers trailed over the creased sheets, wondering if her emotional responses had become twisted in some way, but she knew that it
was useless to feign horror at lying in a killer’s bed or training with a man he feared. Her concern for Kittie was real, but it was hard to connect those feelings with the ones regarding either of these men. She allowed her thoughts to drift a few more moments before straightening her clothes and rushing to meet Sebastian.
By the time she neared his doors, Kayla was already late. Jeremy’s room was not too far removed from Kittie’s, but from this new starting point it was difficult to find her bearings in a place where so much looked the same. Rounding a corner, she stumbled at the unusual sight of Sebastian sitting on the floor of the hallway, right in front of her destination.
She rushed toward him. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she called out, smiling.
He rose slowly, his movements deliberate. Kayla’s steps halted, an inexplicable threat of violence causing her body to tense into stillness, her grin vanishing.
“Was your room uncomfortable?” he asked quietly.
“No!” She stopped, flustered, then tried speaking again more softly. “No.”
Sebastian came closer to her. “I understand the burden of training in isolation, but I suggest that you don’t linger in any of my soldier’s rooms tonight.”
This was the first time since their initial training exercise that she was truly afraid of this man. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t understand why she felt so ashamed.
He rested his hand on her shoulder and spoke with his face close to hers, his voice quiet. “Saros is an excellent Arch, but he’s not the sort of man I thought you would give in to. He doesn’t act on principle and isn’t motivated by morals. You wouldn’t be his first conquest, but you would be convenient, for now. Drawing you in with the romance of a somber face and a clenched fist… Kayla, remember how we spoke about guarding your unique energy against those things of the world that would ensnare you?”
Dominion of the Star (Descendants of the Fallen Book 1) Page 6
