by Jo Ramsey
“Stopping.”
“Staying at the motel?”
I nodded. “I didn’t see anywhere else.”
“It’s the only place in town. Watch out for Len. The guy at the desk? He can be kind of….” She trailed off and glanced around, then lowered her voice. “A few kids around here have said things about him, you know? He got grabby with me once until I stabbed his hand with my earring. He didn’t appreciate it much. He’s left me alone since then.”
She said it all in a perfectly neutral voice, as if it weren’t any big deal, even though it should have been. The guy worked at a motel where people probably stayed with their kids. Someone should have locked him up before he actually hurt anyone. “Why isn’t he in jail?”
“No one’s ever officially reported anything. I don’t know if he’s actually done anything. He’s tried, but everyone who’s talked to me either fought him off or threatened to tell on him and he gave up, so I don’t think he’s actually hurt anyone yet. He only works nights over there, so avoid him tonight and you’ll be all right. You’d probably be fine anyway.” She glanced around again.
I recognized her expression. I’d seen it in the mirror a few times. Except for the part about the creep groping her, she wasn’t telling me anything she knew for sure. It was all premonitions and “just knowing,” and she worried about how people would react if they realized it.
“I’ll be all right. Thanks for the heads-up.” I opened the menu and read some of it, even though I already knew what to order. Her fast talking and the way she looked at everything except me implied I’d kind of freaked her out. I wanted to give her a break from talking to me for a couple of minutes. “Burger with onions, please. Fries and a cola.”
“You got it.” She took the menu from me, and her face relaxed into an almost-smile. “You can go sit back down. I’ll bring the food over to you. You going to have dessert? You look pretty hungry.”
I doubted I looked hungry. I’d learned not to, since denying me food was one of Gene’s typical punishments when I broke the rules. She “just knew” how hungry I was, the same way she “just knew” the other stuff she’d said. I let it go, deliberately choosing not to answer her question, thanked her, and went back to my booth.
Outside, cars went by with their headlights on, since the sun was almost down. People on their way home from work, heading back to their happy little families and happy little lives. Some of them probably loved their kids and would never dream of kicking them out for something they couldn’t help. Some of them would even fight for their kids if anyone tried to mess with them.
My eyes watered, and I pressed my hands against them. I wasn’t going to cry about being kicked out. Not ever. My mother didn’t deserve to be cried over. But when I remembered all the fun times we’d had before Gene had shown up in our lives when I was nine, and the times she’d told me she loved me and accepted me no matter who I was, I couldn’t help a couple of tears.
“You okay?”
I hadn’t even heard the waitress walk over to me. Or sensed her. If I was going to take care of myself, I had to pay more attention. I forced a smile and turned away from the window. “Yeah. Just really hungry. And thinking too much.”
“It happens.” She set down a huge glass of cola and a wrapped straw. “I figured you’d probably want this while you’re waiting for your food. So you’re stopping off the bus. Where are you heading to?”
“East.” The word popped out without me even thinking about it, and right away I knew it was the right answer. I’d already come east from home to this place. West would either take me home or to California. I couldn’t go to the first and had no interest in the second.
“You have family back east?” she asked.
“Hey, Sadie, more coffee,” one of the guys at the counter called.
I bristled a little. He could have at least been polite to her.
Sadie didn’t seem to mind. “Be right there, Jimmy. Hold your grapefruit.”
The guy laughed, and so did most of the other people at the counter. Sadie shrugged at me. “Sorry. Have to go to work. God forbid these guys don’t get their caffeine. I’ll be back in a few with your food.”
“No problem.” I was glad she’d been distracted. It saved me from figuring out how to avoid answering her question.
My stomach growled so loudly everyone else must have heard it. The little packets of jam on the table looked pretty darn good, and I picked one up. It would have been better than no food at all.
Before I could open it, Sadie set a plate in front of me and smiled, then walked away. The burger smelled way better than jam, and I had to force myself not to wolf the whole thing down.
I took my time eating, partly because I didn’t want to make myself sick by chowing down too fast and partly because the sooner I finished, the sooner I’d have to go back to the motel. My stuff was there. I’d barely been able to get it out of my mother’s house, and I wasn’t about to lose it now because of some creep with grabby hands. Before I went back, though, I had to make sure I was calm enough not to burn the place to the ground.
Sadie started toward my table a couple of times. Each time, someone at the counter or one of the other booths called to her to bring them something before she had a chance to say anything to me. The constant interruptions would have been funny if I hadn’t wondered whether I made them happen somehow. I’d done it before. Wanted someone to do something, or not to do something, so bad I could almost taste it, and then it occurred. I hoped I hadn’t really made them do anything. I didn’t want to have power over anyone. Too many people with power abused it.
I finally finished eating. When I stood up, Sadie came over. “I’ll take care of the plates and stuff, hon. You should get out of here. Your food’s covered.”
“I have money.”
“You need to go.”
I looked into her eyes to argue again, and an invisible force shoved me into her head. Suddenly I saw what she saw. Someone was hunting for me. More than one person. They weren’t close yet, but the longer I stayed in town, the more likely they’d find me. And the longer I stayed in the diner, the more likely someone would remember me and be able to tell my pursuers where I was.
My heart pounded. The people’s faces weren’t visible in the image I picked up from Sadie. I had a pretty good idea, though. Gene and his buddies must have decided on the eye-for-an-eye option after all.
They wouldn’t give up until they found me. Which meant I wouldn’t be safe anywhere. The farther I went from home, the less chance they’d succeed, but I would never be completely safe.
I didn’t want to think about that. Right now the only thing I could do was leave the diner and hope they didn’t show up before I hopped on a bus.
“Thanks,” I said again.
“Good luck.”
She didn’t have to tell me not to come back to the diner. Her wide eyes said it perfectly. The town was small, and people noticed strangers. Too many people had already seen me. If anyone asked about me, they would answer.
I walked back to the motel. I wanted to run, but people might have noticed.
Mr. Creepy was still at the desk, of course. He was playing another game on his phone. Maybe I could sneak past him.
No such luck. “How was your meal?” he asked without looking at me.
“You were right. The food there was good.” I kept moving toward the stairs. Why couldn’t this have been one of those motels with the outside stairs? “Thanks for the tip. Have a good night.”
“Hang on a minute.”
He came out from behind the counter, leering. Every bit of my brain screamed “danger,” and my hands heated up again. Just his twisted mouth and the gleam in his eyes was enough to tell me what he had on his mind. I saw more with my mind. The disgusting images that jumped into my brain, of him making me do things I would never do in real life, turned my stomach. A nasty taste rose into my throat. I kept my gaze on him and backed toward the stairs.
“You�
�re pretty young to be traveling on your own,” he said. “You should have someone watching out for you. A friend.”
“I’m all set, thanks.” My foot hit the bottom step, and my heart raced. I stepped up. I still wasn’t far enough away from him. If I tried going up the stairs, he might try to grab me. “Look, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m going up to my room for the night. I need some sleep so I can leave first thing in the morning. So I’d really appreciate it if you left me alone.”
“There are only two other guests in the motel tonight,” he said.
I would have assumed he was changing the subject if I hadn’t sensed the warning behind the words.
“What are you so afraid of?”
His dead-fish breath filled my nose, and I could count the zits on his too-pale face. Only a few inches separated us. My heart beat so fast a doctor wouldn’t have been able to count my pulse, and my hands were hot as hell. If I touched this guy, he’d be ash in half a minute.
If he touched me, I might not be able to help it.
“Back off.” My voice shook. “I’m not interested, okay? Just go back to your game and leave me alone.”
I stepped up onto the next stair, still facing him. He grinned. “You realize I have access to all the rooms, don’t you? Why play games? You’re a runaway, right? I know what they do to keep themselves going. It won’t be your first time, right?”
“Yeah, actually it would be, and I’m holding out for someone who isn’t a complete… stranger.” Calling him a creep wouldn’t have helped. “I’m going upstairs now.”
I narrowed my eyes. I got people to do what I wanted when I didn’t try. I had to make it work now. Unless it actually had been all coincidences, in which case I was screwed. “Go back to the desk and forget I’m even here.”
He grabbed my wrist.
Smoke poured from where he touched me. The smell of burning flesh filled the air.
He screamed and let go to stare at his red blistering hand. “What the fu—”
“Watch your language.” This time my voice didn’t shake a bit. “I’m too young to hear those words. I’m going up to my room now.”
“Yeah. Yeah.” He stared at me, wide-eyed and even paler than he’d been moments earlier.
“Put some cool water on your hand. It might help.”
It wouldn’t. He would need medical attention, if he managed to figure out a believable explanation for how he’d been burned. He couldn’t be stupid enough to tell the truth. No one would believe him.
I backed slowly up the stairs. I’d scared the crap out of him, but it didn’t mean he’d given up. I didn’t dare turn my back on him.
He stared at me until I’d gone high enough on the stairs I couldn’t see him anymore. Probably even after that.
I didn’t feel good about scaring him. I’d scared myself too. If he hadn’t backed off, and if I hadn’t been trying so hard to keep control, things would have been a lot worse. Another second or two and I would have lost it.
I couldn’t take this kind of chance again. Even if it meant I spent the rest of my life on buses, I had to stay away from people.
Chapter Two
IN MY room, taking deep breaths and trying to slow my heart, I stripped off the clothes I’d worn since the day before and put on shorts and a T-shirt to sleep in. I considered showering and decided to wait until morning in case Creepy Guy changed his mind about leaving me alone and barged into the room while I couldn’t hear.
I slid under the musty-smelling covers on the bed. I figured falling asleep would take a while after the incident with the creep, but it didn’t. I was too exhausted to stay awake no matter how freaked out I was.
I woke up the next morning before daylight and took my time in the shower. The water was a little unpredictable, sputtering and wavering between hot and cold, and the tub was cracked. But I wasn’t sure when I’d have another chance for a real shower. After the incident here, I didn’t dare stay in another motel, even if I’d wanted to spend the money.
By the time I’d washed, wrapped my bandages tightly around my chest to hold my stupid breasts in, and dressed, the sun had started to rise. I gathered my stuff and checked three times to be sure I wasn’t leaving anything behind before going down to the desk to turn in my key card. To my relief a young-looking Hispanic woman had replaced the creep. She took the card, thanked me, and then ignored me.
I went outside, and my breath steamed around me. My jacket warmed me a little, but I still shivered as I crossed the street to the bus station.
Inside, my breath was no longer visible, but I shrank into my jacket to try to keep warm. Before the door even shut behind me, the woman at the ticket window yelled, “Where are you going?”
My heart beat a little faster. I breathed deeply and convinced myself she wasn’t threatening me or angry with me. She just didn’t want some random kid hanging out in the station. All I had to do was figure out where to go and pay for my ticket, and she would leave me alone. “Give me a minute, please.”
I took my stuff over to one of the benches and set it down. I knew I was supposed to go east. That was the only thing I was sure of.
I studied the board beside the ticket window, which had a list of buses that would be arriving soon. I needed to be on one of them. Which one didn’t matter as long as it left soon.
You weren’t really paranoid if someone was after you.
The next bus was due in half an hour and would take me to Denver, Colorado, with a few stops along the way. Denver was north, not east, but at least it was better than here.
It wasn’t where I should go. I was supposed to go east. The thought kept hammering into my brain as if I didn’t already know. I ignored it. My options were pretty limited if I didn’t take that bus, because the one after it wouldn’t leave for another two hours. I wouldn’t have to stay in Denver. From there I would be able to take a bus almost anywhere. Other places east of where I stood now. The important thing right then was to get on a bus before something happened.
I didn’t have any clue what might happen. I just knew something would.
The door opened, and footsteps clacked toward me. I didn’t sense any threat, so I didn’t turn around until someone said, “Hey. I thought you’d be long gone.”
Sadie.
I turned to her. She’d let her hair hang down today, and it looked better than if she’d styled it. She wore a tight sweater and those sweatpants things girls liked with the name of a clothing store stenciled down one leg. I kind of wanted to hug her, except we didn’t know each other well enough. And she didn’t know I was trans. Close physical contact might give it away. The bandages didn’t do such a great job of holding things in.
“I’m trying to decide which bus to catch,” I said. “Too many choices, you know?”
As soon as I said it, I realized I’d screwed up. At the diner I’d made it sound like I had a plan in mind. Now I’d given away the fact that I had no clue where I was going.
“Where are you heading?” she asked.
“East.” I didn’t have any other answer. I didn’t know which of the tons of places east of here would be the right one.
“You’re taking the Denver bus.” She studied the board. “That isn’t a bad idea. Go north first, then east. I know you saw what I saw last night. Someone’s searching for you, and I don’t think it’s just a parent trying to find a runaway kid. You don’t want them to find you.”
“I’m not a runaway.” I didn’t plan to go into the whole story with her, but the words started falling out of my mouth. “My stepfather didn’t like something I did. Something I couldn’t even help. I don’t know what he said to my mother, but it scared her enough to make me leave.”
“She threw you out?” Her eyes widened. “Your own mother?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. Pretending to be casual was the only way to stop the ache in my chest when I thought about Mom. “Stuff happens. I left home the night before last. Slept in the bus station and then came he
re yesterday. Now I have no idea where I’m going. I just know I have to keep traveling until I’m there, if that makes sense.”
“It does.” She hesitated, shifting from one foot to another. “I’d kind of like to go with you. We can watch out for each other. It isn’t as if there’s a lot going on here, and I have money.”
Stunned, I didn’t know what to say. This was the last thing I’d expected. Her life must have been tougher than I realized if she was willing to abandon it to take off with a guy she’d just met. Probably her powers told her I was safe to be around, but still. Most people didn’t just leave when they had the option to stay.
She was a little older than me, and she probably wouldn’t have much trouble finding a job since she’d already had one. Then we’d have money coming in instead of having to live off what we brought with us. We might even be able to pretend she had guardianship of me until I figured out a way to legally be on my own. Or until I turned eighteen.
On the other hand, if she went with me, I would be responsible for her. I would have to keep her safe. Right now I wasn’t sure I could do such a great job for myself, let alone anyone else. If Gene or someone else from church found me, it wouldn’t be a good thing. I didn’t want Sadie caught up in that.
Not to mention the whole transgender thing. Maybe she’d figured out I was trans. She’d talked to me for quite a while the night before, had even touched me, so her powers might have told her something. If so, she would probably only think of me as a little brother. Or worse, a little sister. I doubted she’d be attracted to a transgender guy, so my interest in her would make things kind of awkward.
“You have family here,” I said. I didn’t know if it was true, but it seemed like a pretty safe bet. Someone like her wouldn’t have settled in this dinky little town on her own.
“Yeah, my mom and my brother.”
“They’d miss you.” That one I did know for sure. She would miss them too. Family should stay together, unless they were like mine.
