by Jo Ramsey
“Some form of telekinesis, possibly.” Garrett paused. “Or aerokinesis, since it had to do with the wind.”
“Weather control?” Royce said. “I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never met anyone with that ability.”
“Neither have I, or at least not anyone who admitted to having it.” Garrett paused. “Kellan, you’re sure?”
“If you have another explanation, I’d love to hear it.” Obviously someone had been able to control the wind or catch me with his mind. I might even have done it myself. Someone had said powers were sometimes triggered by extreme trauma. Being thrown over a cliff definitely qualified.
I wasn’t sure I could handle having yet another weird power. Then again, maybe it hadn’t been a person at all. I’d prayed to be safe, after all. I believed in God, and after everything I’d seen and experienced in the past few days, I wasn’t about to rule out any possibilities.
“I don’t have any idea,” Garrett said. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Me too.”
When we arrived at the house, we were mobbed. Everyone was there, and they all wanted to see for themselves that I wasn’t dead. For a while so many people surrounded me with so many questions I almost couldn’t breathe. I didn’t mind. They cared about me, and the warmth flowing around me told me I could trust them. They’d barely started to lose interest in surrounding me when the front door opened.
I held my breath. I think we all did, until Shad walked in.
He pushed past everyone else and grabbed me in a hug so tight it hurt. “You idiot. I thought you were dead. Don’t do that again!”
“I didn’t exactly intend to do anything,” I said, my voice muffled by his shoulder.
“I’m glad you held back.” He let go and looked down at me. “You could have let them have it, and you didn’t.”
“Yeah.”
“Living room,” Garrett said. “Meeting.”
“Food,” Derek said.
“That too.”
Someone ordered pizza. Even though I knew it was coming, I froze when the doorbell rang. I wouldn’t be able to trust the doorbell, or anyone who walked into the house, for a long time.
We didn’t talk while we ate. I needed a break, and so did everyone else. I was sandwiched on the couch between Lauren—who was shaking—and Shad—who glared as if he wanted to clobber anyone who came too close. I felt bad for Lauren, and I wanted to say something comforting but had no clue what.
“Treese and Damian are gone.” Garrett apparently had decided it would be best to plunge right in. “They won’t be allowed back here, and they won’t remember anything.”
“I didn’t think they’d turn against us like that.” Derek, sitting on the floor across the room from me, folded his arms and rocked slightly. “I liked Treese. I thought she was okay.”
“We all did,” Mireille said. “She shielded herself from us.”
I sure didn’t owe Treese any credit, and I didn’t have any good opinion of her, but I didn’t want the rest of them to believe she’d outright betrayed them. “She was afraid. She told me she thought I was a danger to the rest of you. She didn’t turn against you. Just me.”
“That doesn’t excuse what she did,” Royce said. He sounded as angry as Shad looked, and I had the feeling some of their anger was directed toward each other. “You’re one of us.”
“She was here first.” I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want them to hate Treese. Or Damian. Hatred wouldn’t change anything.
“Fear can explain a lot,” Garrett said. “But Royce is right. Nothing excuses this. They didn’t only lead your stepfather to you. They led a threat to all of us.”
He had a point, so I didn’t argue. They’d have to find their own ways to accept what Treese and Damian had done.
“The two men who were with Kellan’s stepfather are in jail.” Garrett paused. “We assume. Clearly one of them can teleport, which is so far out of what we expected that we didn’t see it coming. They won’t be a threat to us again, in any case.”
“Han and Abe already took care of them,” Mireille said. “They don’t remember a thing about coming here. They don’t know what they were arrested for, either, which should be interesting when their cases come to court. They’ll ask to plead guilty, so there won’t be trials.”
“Good,” Shad said. “Kellan shouldn’t have to go through that.”
Garrett narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together. The expression said he didn’t trust Shad a bit around me. In spite of the conversation we’d had at the hospital, he still assumed Shad wanted to get involved with me. I kept my mouth shut, but at some point I would confront him about it.
“None of us should go through it,” Garrett said. “We all witnessed at least part of what happened.”
“I didn’t.” Lauren spoke so softly I almost couldn’t hear her. “I saw Kellan disappear with the other guy, and that’s the last thing I remember.”
She knew what she’d done to Gene. I sensed that. But I believed her when she said she didn’t remember it. She’d blocked her own memories. I didn’t blame her. If I could have forgotten the whole situation that had started this mess, I would have done so gladly. No matter what it cost me.
“I know.” Garrett’s voice was gentle.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I took her hand the way she’d done for me earlier and tried to look her in the eye. She avoided my gaze but relaxed a little. “You were frightened and upset, and stuff happens sometimes. It’s okay.”
“I killed someone.” Her voice was even softer.
“Yeah. So did I, apparently.” I hadn’t even had a chance to figure out how I felt about Yancy dying. I wouldn’t mourn him, that was for sure. I wouldn’t mourn Gene either. Not much, anyway. But not mourning someone didn’t mean not regretting causing his death. Lauren and I were in the same boat now. “It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”
Nothing was actually solved during the meeting. Too much had happened to sort out in one night. Basically Garrett filled us all in on the events and their results and then gave each of us an opportunity to talk about our reactions. Kind of like group therapy.
After a while Garrett dismissed us, but most of us stayed right where we were. The house had been invaded, from our perspective. Someone we’d trusted had helped it happen.
I’d brought a threat I hadn’t had any control over, and I shouldn’t have felt guilty, but I did. If I hadn’t listened to Shad about coming here, Gene would still be alive. Lauren wouldn’t be trying to cope with the fact that she’d killed someone, and Treese and Damian still would have been part of their happy little family.
“Hey, it’s all right,” Shad said. He hadn’t moved from his seat beside me, not even to get any of the leftover pizza. From the way he kept looking across the room, I guessed it had a lot to do with Royce, who was still in the same spot he’d taken at the beginning of the meeting too. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We were watching for you, remember? We wanted you here. Treese… I guess she had issues we hadn’t detected. She came here while I was still here, and she was really young then. This was her family.”
“Sometimes people don’t deal well with change,” Royce said. He took a couple of steps toward us and stopped. “Shad, I’d like to talk to you. Please.”
“I think we finished the discussion years ago.” Shad settled back and crossed his arms and legs. “I’m pretty comfortable here. If you want to say something, go right ahead.”
I didn’t like drama much, but their tension was an almost welcome distraction from the stress of the day. Everyone else leaned forward, as if they all wanted to hear what Royce would say. Garrett and Mireille had left the room, and I didn’t know if anyone else was aware of what had happened between Shad and Royce.
Royce dropped to his knees in front of Shad. “Fine. If this is how you want it, this is how we’ll do it. I miss you.”
“You’re the reason I left. If you miss me so damn bad, why didn’t you t
ry to keep me here?” Shad leaned back farther. “I was a kid. I wasn’t any older than these guys here. I believed I’d found a safe place. Someone who cared about me. And then I lost all of it because you couldn’t own up to your share of responsibility. Why do you think I helped Kellan? He was me.”
His actions made sense now. Why he’d driven all the way to Chicago with me. Why he’d tried to make sure I would be safe. He’d been trying to help himself as much as me.
“I know,” Royce said quietly. “I was an idiot. I don’t have an excuse. I was afraid I would have to leave. To give up my work here. I shouldn’t have been involved with you in the first place, and they could’ve had me arrested if they’d wanted.”
“So you threw me under the bus.” Shad shook his head. “You’re right. You have no excuse except you’re a sorry jerk who can’t admit doing anything wrong.”
“I love you.”
The words dropped like a bomb, and we all stared at Royce. All except Shad. He turned away from me, away from Royce. “If you love me, why did you throw me away?”
“I was an idiot,” Royce said again. “I was afraid. Fear makes people screw up sometimes. I can’t fix what I did, Shad. I wish I could. I wish I could go back to that day and tell them that I love you and wanted to spend my life with you, just like I told you. But I can’t.”
One by one the others got up and left the room. We all knew Royce and Shad needed to be alone to finish this.
Lauren was the last to leave before me. She squeezed my hand before she walked away.
I started to go after her, but Shad put his hand on my leg. “Don’t. You’re the reason I came back here after all this time. I don’t have any secrets from you.”
“What do you have for him?” Royce asked.
I wanted to scream. Why did everyone assume that just because I was trans, I was gay? That didn’t even make sense. Some transgender people might be gay or bi, but it wasn’t automatically true. The fact that Royce would even think Shad would prey on me infuriated me.
“He’s my brother,” Shad said. “He’s the only one who could have gotten me back here.”
Royce nodded. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I loved you then, and I didn’t stop. I hope we can try again someday.”
“I don’t know if I’d trust you enough,” Shad said. “I can try being your friend for now. It’s a start. If I stay.”
“It’s a start,” Royce repeated.
The doorbell rang, and this time I jumped about a mile. We weren’t expecting anyone else. My instincts told me I was safe, but I couldn’t help worrying.
“Hey, fireball, watch it.” Shad put his hand on my leg again and squeezed. “This couch is flammable, dude.”
I hadn’t even realized I was heating up. I pictured the ocean again and breathed and managed to cool down.
Mireille hurried past in the hallway, glancing toward us on the way. I heard the door open and felt some of the fear ease away, which meant my instincts had been correct.
Then I heard my mother’s voice. “My name is Diane Rusk, and I’m here for my son.”
“Come in,” Mireille said.
Royce sat on my other side. Now he and Shad were blocking me, which wasn’t too bad. They weren’t angry with each other anymore, so it wasn’t as hard being around them. I trusted them to keep me right there no matter what my mother said.
Mireille led her into the room. Garrett was right behind them, along with Derek and Lauren, who probably shouldn’t have been there. They sat down on the floor in front of me and ignored Garrett’s gestures to get their attention.
My mother stopped when she realized I’d been pretty much barricaded. “Kellan?”
“It hasn’t been that long since you saw me,” I said. “You can’t have forgotten me already.”
Her sadness pressed against me, and her face seemed to collapse when I spoke. I steeled myself against the urge to run into her arms and sob on her shoulder. Stone surrounded my heart. I couldn’t let myself open to her. She would only hurt me again.
“Of course I haven’t.” She took a couple of steps toward me, pain filling her gaze, and held out her arms. “Kellan, please.”
“Please what? Please be happy to see the woman who threw me out because her husband told her to?”
I spoke harshly, but it was a front. My anger was only a faint flame. If my mother hadn’t made me leave, I wouldn’t have found a family who accepted me. A home where I now knew I would stay.
“I’m not going with you,” I said. “You lost the chance to have me with you when you threw me out.”
“They would have killed you,” she said. “I heard Gene talking to them. An eye for an eye.”
Exactly what Rex had said. Hearing those words from my mother made my stomach roll. I swallowed hard against the sour taste in my throat. “They tried to kill me,” I said. “They threw me off a cliff, Mom. Did you hear about that?”
Her face went white, and she opened and closed her mouth a few times. “You—you’re here. You’re okay?”
Don’t hate, Shad told me again. This time I knew it was him. Since he was right beside me, the voice was louder and easier to identify.
I gave my mother a break. A little one. “I’m okay because these people protected me. They kept me safe. It wasn’t their job, but they did it anyway.”
Mom looked at the floor. “Kellan, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to keep you safe from Gene and the church. I couldn’t just leave with you. I had your sisters to think about. None of us would have been safe if I’d gone with you.”
“I know. And we still won’t be.” Rex and Craig wouldn’t come after me again, but that didn’t mean no one would. Now Gene was dead too. It would be written off as a heart attack as long as no one realized Lauren had done it. She and I would receive no retribution for his death, but the church wouldn’t be pleased. They would still want me to pay for what I’d done to Yancy, and they might pin Gene’s death on me because he’d died right after he found me.
My heart sped up, and I took a couple of deep breaths before I continued. Shad’s hand tightened briefly on my knee before he let go. He knew I was struggling, and just having someone else realize it helped me calm down enough to speak. “I can’t go back with you, Mom. They’re still after an eye, right? If you try to protect me, you and the girls will be in for it too. Leave me here where I’m safe. You can tell them you don’t know where I am.”
Garrett nodded, and I realized Mom actually wouldn’t know my location. She’d come to Boston to tend to Gene’s body, whatever it was she had to do with it, and that was all she would remember. Maybe she’d think Gene had come on a business trip or something. She wouldn’t remember seeing me or this house and the others.
My mother had made her choice, and now I had to make mine. When it had been just her and me, things had been hard, but at least I’d known I belonged with her. Once she’d met Gene, I hadn’t belonged anymore. Between the psychic stuff and being transgender, I’d been the odd one out in so many ways. It had hurt.
Here I wasn’t the odd one out anymore. Everyone in the house had psychic stuff of one kind or another. And no one seemed to care that I was trans. I was Kellan McKee, and for the first time in my life, I was accepted just for that.
“We’re a licensed foster home,” Garrett said.
My mother whirled around. She’d either forgotten or hadn’t known he was behind her.
“There are papers you can sign to allow Kellan to stay here. He told us what happened at home with his stepfather’s friend. We’re, you might say, uniquely qualified to help kids like Kellan.”
Mom shook her head. “He’s my son. I can’t just….” She trailed off. “I already did, didn’t I? I always said nothing would make me turn my back on my kids, but that’s what I did.”
“So make it right,” I said. “They’ll take care of me here, Mom. They know what I did to Yancy, and they’re going to teach me how to control it.”
&n
bsp; “What am I going to tell your sisters?”
If the girls were her only worry, I’d won. I smiled through the gray haze in my mind. I should have been sad, but I’d already left my family once. Now I felt nothing.
“You’ll think of something,” I said.
“Are you sure this is the right place for you?” Mom asked.
She wanted me to say no, but I couldn’t. I would miss her and my sisters, and I’d already forgiven her. But I belonged here.
“Yes,” I said. “I want to be here.”
She took a deep breath, and her thoughts resonated clearly. Maybe I wasn’t the only broadcaster in the family. She and my sisters would be safe, and so would I. She wouldn’t have to keep trying to understand and explain me being transgender, and she wouldn’t have to be afraid I might accidentally hurt them with my fire.
She was afraid of me. Her fear struck my heart like a blow, and my chest ached.
“What do I need to do?” she asked Garrett.
“Follow me.” He nodded to me again and escorted her out of the room.
She wouldn’t come back to say good-bye to me. I would never see my mother again.
I blinked back tears and squared my shoulders. The pang in my heart dulled to a thin ache. My life with my mother and sisters had ended, but I had a whole new life waiting for me.
“You okay?” Shad asked.
“Better than I should be,” I said. “She already threw me out. She was only willing to take me back because Gene’s gone, but if he’d still been around, she wouldn’t have wanted me. She would have kept choosing him first.”
“She chose your safety,” Mireille said. “Not an easy choice for her, I’m sure. She didn’t want to give you up, Kellan. She just believed it would be best.”
“It was,” I said. “I ended up here.”
I forced myself not to glance toward the hall when I heard footsteps. I waited until the front door had closed before I stood, just as Garrett came back.
