by Kirsty Ferry
‘We have been organising Ella’s wedding outfit,’ said Lydia. ‘So exciting!’
‘I see,’ said Jacob. ‘Well, I do hope the seamstress does her justice.’
‘She will,’ said Lydia, smiling at Ella.
Ella was quite grateful for the pause in the exchange; she was getting dizzy looking from one to the other and had maybe fully understood half of the subsequent conversation. ‘I myself have some other business to attend to while we are here,’ said Lydia.
She turned her back on Ella and said something to Jacob. Ella saw him repeat the word present and she tried to suppress a smile.
Lydia turned back to Ella. ‘Please, would you amuse my cousin for a little while, Ella? I will meet you at the carriage at two o’clock. Is that reasonable? Then we shall be able to get back to the Park for tea. Jacob, will you be able to squeeze us in?’
‘Unfortunately not,’ said Jacob. ‘As I say, I must leave later this afternoon.’ He offered Ella his arm. ‘But are you to come with me, Miss Dunbar, for a short while at least?’
‘Apparently so,’ said Ella, looking at them both, slightly confused.
‘I would appreciate your company,’ said Jacob. ‘Shall we take a walk up the cliff path, along past St Mary’s?’
‘If you wish,’ she said. She took his arm, not entirely comfortable with the proposition, if she was honest, and they headed off, away from the town and up to the cliff path.
JACOB
The sea was glassy and calm, reflecting the azure of the sky. One or two fishing boats were bobbing around and the gulls dipped and dived around them, hoping for some scraps.
‘It is peaceful up here today,’ said Jacob, leading Ella to the wall where they could look out over the coast.
‘There were quite a few people in the town. It was rather crowded,’ replied Ella.
‘I would not have gone there today had I not needed to speak to my contacts urgently,’ replied Jacob, ‘but I am pleased I ventured out.’ He smiled at Ella. The girl was half-turned, facing him, her hands neatly and primly crossed in front of her. ‘Not only did I unexpectedly see you and my cousin, but I also get to take advantage of the view with such a delightful companion.’
‘Have you heard from Miss Warner?’ asked Ella.
Jacob felt a sharp stab of annoyance that Helena Warner should weave her way into his precious time with Ella. It wasn’t as if he would get many more moments like this with her, not since Adam had claimed her as his own. A little like Carrick Park, really.
‘No. I have heard nothing from her,’ he said. ‘Not even a letter. It is most strange. She was in a terrible mood that night. She must have been angrier than we imagined.’
‘Angry?’ repeated Ella. ‘But Adam said she had news from home. I thought that was why she left?’ She looked sweetly confused, a little frown deepening in her forehead. ‘Oh dear, I did not mean to cause a rift between you all, but I must confess that I had my suspicions.’ Ella blushed, obviously reliving the evening. She lifted her hands and crossed them the other way, pressing them back into her skirt.
‘It is not our concern,’ said Jacob. ‘So, your wedding plans are progressing well?’ he asked her, not really wanting to hear the answer, but he thought it would at least draw her into conversation with him.
He was rewarded when Ella’s eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, the little ornaments in her hat bobbing up and down. ‘Oh, yes. Lydia has done so much for us, we are very grateful.’
An idea began to worm its way into his head and he rocked back on his heels. He simply had to take the chance with it. ‘And has Adam been by your side constantly during this last month?’ he asked. He could hear the slight, nervous raise in pitch in his voice as he asked such a loaded question and was pleased that Ella couldn’t. For sure, that would scupper his plans all together.
The light in the girl’s eyes flickered a little and her smile wavered. ‘He has been busy,’ she said, ‘but I understand that. He has the estate to run after all.’
‘If I were lucky enough to be marrying someone like you,’ said Jacob, deciding to push his point home a little more, ‘I would never dare let them out of my sight.’
Ella dropped her gaze. ‘Oh, I am nobody special,’ she said, staring at the ground by their feet, as if she were embarrassed. Then she lifted her gaze and stared resolutely out at the sea, clearly uncomfortable with the praise.
‘I only ask because I realise how busy Adam is,’ said Jacob, waiting until he had her attention again. ‘Has he spoken to you about the Park’s history?’
‘No, I know very little about it,’ said Ella. She appeared to relax a little, more comfortable with the subject.
‘It was our great-grandfather’s property,’ said Jacob. ‘He entailed it to his daughter, rather than any of his sons. Adam is descended from the daughter whereas I am descended from the eldest son.’
‘Oh!’ Ella looked surprised. ‘Lydia might have mentioned something a while ago …’ She shook her head. ‘No. I apologise – I speak out of turn. I doubt I heard it correctly.’ She blushed again. ‘But I just assumed it was the usual sort of inheritance. I suppose that must have made things difficult for the families.’
‘It did,’ agreed Jacob. ‘Fortunately it does not affect my relationship with Lydia and Adam.’ He knew he was lying through his teeth. He hated the pair of them. Then he forced a smile onto his face. ‘We almost grew up together at the Park, you know.’
Ella smiled. ‘You were often there when I visited, especially, I recall, when we were younger.’
‘Once we boys were sent away to school, it was never practical to spend as much time there,’ said Jacob. ‘Lydia is four years younger than me, Adam is two years older. I was like the middle child. I always enjoyed it more when you were there.’
‘It must have been wonderful to be part of such a large family,’ said Ella smiling. ‘My parents moved abroad when I was very small, but they thought it best to leave me in England. They did not want to confuse me with foreign languages. They died within days of each other shortly after they moved there, apparently of a fever. I cannot miss them, because I never really knew them.’ She spoke without bitterness.
‘Who did you remain in England with?’ asked Jacob.
‘A terribly old aunt, who died last year. Since then, I think I have spent more time at the Park than I have at my family home. Lydia has been a wonderful friend to me.’
‘I see.’ Jacob moved to face her and took her hands in his. He looked at her, marvelling, and not for the first time, at the clear sapphire-blue of her eyes. ‘Ella, pray forgive me for saying this, but are you sure you are marrying Adam for the correct reasons?’ He continued, speaking slowly so she fully understood him. ‘You are not simply lonely? And you do know what a responsibility it is for anybody to be connected to the head of that family? They own property all over the country and the business is expanding abroad. Adam suggested he may need to spend a considerable time in Italy shortly, and then more than likely he will need to move to Paris and Switzerland. I do not mean to scare you, but he will expect you to go with him.’
‘I know, and I am happy to go,’ said Ella. ‘I have nothing to stay in England for except Lydia, and she will most likely come as well.’
‘Lydia will have to stay here, Ella,’ said Jacob. ‘Somebody will need to be here to look after the interests of the Park and the business at home. The agents cannot do it all. I have offered to assist, knowing this day would come, but they will not hear of it.’
‘What are you trying to tell me?’ asked Ella. ‘You have lost me.’
She did look bewildered. It was maybe time, Jacob thought, to drive his point truly home. And if Adam got hurt in the process, he really did not care.
‘You will be on your own in a foreign country with foreign staff and nobody around who will speak rea
sonable English,’ Jacob said. ‘I say this because I care about you. How will you manage? Have you really thought about it? It is natural to be concerned about your future, Ella. Sometimes, even angels fear to fly. It is often safer for them to stay on familiar territory.’
Ella flushed scarlet and stared at him. She did not answer immediately. Then eventually she said in a funny, stilted little way: ‘Thank you, Jacob. You are being honest and I appreciate it. But I have no wish to discuss it further.’
Jacob nodded and let go of her hands. She shifted position and stared out to sea again. Jacob stood back and did the same. He had planted the seed, anyway. She would be far better off here, in England, with him. He knew that, but she just needed to understand that herself.
CARRICK PARK
Lydia had been at the carriage waiting for them at two o’clock as specified and they said their goodbyes. Jacob held Ella’s hand a little too long when he kissed it to bid her farewell, and he promised to see her again soon, which did not make her particularly overjoyed.
Lydia chattered all the way back, and Ella smiled and nodded at what she hoped were appropriate intervals, but she wasn’t paying attention. Instead, she was thinking about Adam’s absences and the conversation she had just had with Jacob. She guessed, correctly, that she would be expected to officially be the hostess at any events they held both at the Park, and abroad. If Lydia was there to help her, that was truly marvellous and she had never given any thought to the fact that Lydia would not be there. Yet if Lydia was not there, where did that leave her? She was completely unschooled in anything like that. Her foreign language skills were non-existent – she knew a little basic French which she had learned due to pure stubbornness, but that was it. The more she thought about it, the worse it became. She might be expected to entertain a room full of – God forbid – foreign Helena Warners.
‘I cannot do this,’ she said suddenly. The carriage was bumping over the gravel of the estate drive on its way to the house. ‘I cannot marry Adam. It’s just wrong.’
‘Ella!’ cried Lydia. Her face was horrified.
Ella held up her hand and closed her eyes, shaking her head. ‘Please. Don’t ask “why”. I just cannot do it.’
The carriage pulled up and Ella flung open the door, not waiting for anyone to assist her out. She ran up the steps and burst through the main doors. Not looking in either direction, she hurried up the grand staircase and into her room.
Elizabeth, the maid, had been passing through the hallway when the door flew open and Miss Ella had run past her. She squashed herself into the wall as Miss Lydia followed her. Miss Lydia was shouting after her, which was a bit silly of her, seeing as Miss Ella wouldn’t ever hear her shouting; but she did seem upset.
Elizabeth waited for a moment, then moved to the bottom of the stairs. She listened carefully and could hear the doors slamming and lots of shouting going on. It didn’t sound good and she pulled a face. She hurried upstairs and went along the corridor towards Miss Ella’s room and she pressed her ear against the door.
‘It was a ridiculous idea!’ Miss Ella was shouting. ‘Cancel everything. I will leave as soon as I can. I will not waste any more of your time.’
‘Don’t be so stupid!’ That was Miss Lydia, screaming at the top of her lungs. ‘I cannot understand what brought this on. Ella!’ A momentary pause. ‘Look at me, Ella. Ella! Stop it! Just stop that immediately.’
Elizabeth tried to peer through the keyhole of the door, but all she could see was a dark blur. One of them must have been standing in front of the door.
‘Ella!’
‘Get off me!’
‘Ella, why will you not look at me? Ella! Oh, I give up!’
The shadow moved and the door handle turned. Elizabeth jumped out of the way and Miss Lydia stormed out. She slammed the door behind her with all of her might and it bounced back off the hinges, swinging ever so slightly open. Elizabeth waited until the corridor was clear and then she peered through the crack. Miss Ella had the wardrobe door open and was flinging clothes onto the bed.
Elizabeth thought quickly. She would have to hope that everyone forgave her, but it was too important to let it go. She just had to wait and watch, then act as she needed to.
Ella stared at the pile of clothes on the bed, wondering how she was going to get everything back to the town house in York. The thought of the imposing, stone-built house was unappealing, stuffed full as it was of her aunt’s possessions. If she could ever bear to empty it, it would be better. The only saving grace was the piano in the room at the back of the house which overlooked the garden. Other than that, it had nothing to recommend it at this present moment in time. Much as she loved York, once she had spent time with the Carricks, she always felt unsettled. There was something freeing about being so close to the sea, feeling the breeze on her face and breathing in the salty scent of the ocean.
She turned her back on the pile of clothes and headed towards the door. If she was leaving the Park, she had to visit one particular place one last time. She hoped that they would forgive her eventually – she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing them again. What else, really, was there in her life except Adam and Lydia? Fortunately, she would never have to earn a living, but the thought of spending her days rattling around her aunt’s house on her own was intolerable.
Ella slipped out of the door and hurried along the corridor. Instead of turning left, however, to descend the main staircase, she headed right and made her way to the servants’ staircase. When they had been younger, she and Lydia had enjoyed playing hide-and-seek. One of the favourite places to hide had been in the servants’ hall. Inevitably, whichever small girl had taken refuge there would have received little treats and a considerable amount of petting from the cook. Soon, it was no longer “let us play hide-and-seek”, but “let us play at being servants” and the two of them would sit there wearing ridiculous little white hats for as long as they were not missed upstairs.
It was difficult to recall now, but Ella could vaguely remember a muted buzzing around them. It must have been the sounds of conversation and pots boiling and the fire crackling and it had been comforting in a way, but gradually that had slipped away as well until all she was left with was the warmth on her skin from the fire and the delicious smells of baking instead.
Now, the adult Ella felt around the panelling in the wall and managed to prise the door open. It opened smoothly without it jarring or scraping under her fingertips, and she exhaled with some relief, hoping that nobody would have actually heard her breaking into such forbidden territory. The last thing she wanted was to find Lydia pursuing her, trying to make her change her mind again about marrying Adam. Pulling the door gently shut behind her, Ella rushed thankfully down the stairs and into the servants’ corridor.
It was only a little way along until she found the doorway that led out into the courtyard. Nobody seemed to use the courtyard. In all the years she had been coming to the Park, it had been her thinking space and nobody had ever come out to bother her. It was probably something to do with it being at the back of the house and the fact that it faced north. The courtyard was also surrounded on three sides by huge walls. None of the main rooms looked onto it, but a previous resident had built a small fountain there and Ella had been disappointed to realise that the fountain was long since disused. Still, there was a bench there, and it was enough for her to simply sit on it and close her eyes. She would feel the peace around her and wish with all her heart that she belonged properly at the Park. Up until a few hours ago, that dream had been a reality.
Now, thinking about what Jacob had said to her, it seemed ridiculous even to contemplate the thought that she could marry Adam and be part of his life. She knew she had expressed those feelings in July and Adam had assured her she was being foolish. The cold, hard reality, though, was not that simple.
Not many things about her life upse
t her, but that did.
The bench was in the corner of the courtyard, quite close to the fountain. Ella sat down and took in the worn stone angel that reached up to the skies and she imagined the water shooting up from the angel’s hands and falling down into the pool, breaking the surface into ripple after ripple. She wondered if there had been fish in the pond at one point, and who else had sat here, looking at the very same fountain over the years.
Beyond the fountain was a pathway that led straight through a gate in a wall and she knew that beyond that were the moors. She could see, in her mind’s eye, the worn tracks across the grass which took the rider down to the cliff path and towards Whitby. It was a route that she had followed whenever she had been forced to ride the little black pony that was kept especially for her. The family joked that it was the fattest, least-exercised pony in the entire stables and Ella could not dispute that.
She closed her eyes and tried to let the place work its magic on her, but it wasn’t happening. Adam’s face kept interrupting her thoughts, and she wondered how she could possibly tell him of her decision. He had disappeared four days ago, full of remorse for leaving her again and she remembered him as he had been then.
He had taken her face in his hands and kissed her. ‘I will not be long. I promise that I shall return as soon as possible. Stay out of trouble,’ he had told her.
It was painfully obvious to her that her desertion would destroy him, but she had no option. What Jacob had said rang true. Without Lydia she could not hope to settle abroad and Adam would have to realise that.
Ella felt a few spots of rain against her upturned face and brushed them away angrily. The sun was still warm on her skin and she guessed that a summer shower had blown in from the coast. A few more spots hit her face and she frowned. Unless this was a real storm, she was determined to stay there. It might be the last opportunity she would ever have. She opened her eyes, hoping to judge by the clouds whether she needed to return indoors or not.
