by L. Wilder
“I’m just not one to buy in to all that.”
“What does that mean all that?”
“I’m all for having a good time, enjoying life and everything, but I don’t do love, Tristen. All that ‘love is patient, love is kind’ stuff—it’s all bullshit. It only sets you up for heartache and disappointment. I just don’t see the point.”
I immediately regretted being so candid. Her eyes searched mine as her brow furrowed, and her mouth set into a firm line. I watched as the excitement died from her face, and I knew my words were to blame. I hadn’t realized just how fucked up I was until I saw the way she looked at me. I would give her everything I had to give, but I knew it wouldn’t be enough. She wanted more. She wanted my heart and my soul, but that part of me died years ago. She’d just have to find a way to live without them. I had.
How could I have been so stupid? I’d actually thought there was something between us, that he was actually falling for me, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I tried to play off his comment about not believing in love, but it stuck to me like glue and my brain just wouldn’t let it go. As soon as we got back to the condo, I took the picture I’d bought and locked myself away in my room. I spent the next hour cursing myself as I laid in bed and stared at it. For a minute, I had imagined that the couple was Nathan and me. I had let myself dream, just for a moment, that one day it would be us standing on a bridge in Paris. I felt like such an idiot. I knew better than to believe in fairy tales. The longer I stared at that picture, the more I started to think that maybe he was right. Love just sets us up for disappointment. I tried to shake it off, but by the next morning I was still in a funk, and poor Max caught the brunt of my bad mood.
As usual, he was sitting at the kitchen table when I went to get my coffee. He looked up from his paper and smiled. “Good morning.”
“Um hmm.”
“Rough night?”
“Pfft.”
“That bad, huh?”
I took my cup of coffee over to the table and sat down next to him. “Why do men have to be so damn complicated? Why can’t you just be… ugh. Never mind.”
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Ah, I get it.”
“Oh, do tell,” I scoffed.
“This is about Nitro.”
“Nitro. Nathan. Every man on the planet. They’re all a pain in the ass.”
“Well, thanks for clarifying.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, it’s true. I’m sure you’re an ass, too. I just haven’t had the luxury of witnessing it yet.”
“I am.” He cleared his throat as he laid down his paper and crossed his arms in irritation. “So, you don’t think it’s the same with women? You don’t think they can be a pain in the ass, too? That they don’t send mixed signals? Or lead you to think one thing, and then end up meaning something else entirely?”
“Yes, but that’s different,” I said sulkily.
“How?” he scoffed.
“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.”
He paused for a minute. “We all have our moments, Tristen. Good and bad.”
“Maybe so. I just thought things were different from what they actually are. I was hoping for something that’s just not going to happen, and that’s on me.”
“Wow, he must have really screwed up.”
“No. He didn’t. He has a right to have his own feelings.”
He let out a deep breath and almost growled, “Fuck.”
“What? Do you know something about Nathan that you aren’t telling me?”
His eyes skirted to the side. “No.”
“Oh, my god. You do! You have to tell me.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything, Tristen. Besides, it’s not my place to talk about it.” He looked down at his watch. “Don’t you have to get to work?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. Please tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“I’m stuck here, Max. I care about Nathan… I’m falling for him, and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s a mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake.” He ran his fingers through his hair with a frustrated sigh. “It’s complicated. Something happened when he was younger. Something that no one should ever have to go through. He’s never really gotten over it. Just try to be patient. In time, hopefully he will come around.”
“What happened to him, Max?”
“Right now, that’s all I can tell you. Besides, you’re going to be late if you don’t get a move on.”
I gave him a pleading look as I stood up from the table. “Everyone has a past… and just so you know, some pretty crappy stuff has happened to me, too, Max. But I haven’t given up. I’m still here, and I’m still trying.”
“So is he, but he is doing it his way… on his own terms.”
“Well, his terms suck.”
“I never said they didn’t,” he chuckled as he watched me turn and leave. Before I closed my bedroom door, I heard him shout, “Patience, Tristen. Patience.”
I’d like to say that my mood got better when I got to work, but it didn’t. We were busier than ever, and some guy kept hitting on me every time I went to put an order in at the bar. He was cute with his boyish charm and goofy grin. He kind of reminded me of Brad Pitt in that Meet Joe Black movie. Any other day, I might’ve been flattered that he was flirting with me, but at that moment, it was getting on my nerves. I tried to let him know that I wasn’t interested, but he wasn’t taking the hint. Thankfully, the lunch crowd was dying down, and it was almost time for my break. I was just about to go to the back when another group walked in. I almost kept going, but something stopped me. After a closer look, I realized why I’d hesitated. Nathan.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him as Brooklyn led his group over to one of the corner booths. He was with two men, both young, maybe in their late twenties, and they were wearing casual jeans and t-shirts. There wasn’t anything particularly bothersome about either of them. The two women at his side were a different story altogether. Seeing them made my stomach twist into knots, especially the particularly slutty one with her tight black tank top and scandalously short miniskirt. Just looking at her made my blood boil. As soon as Nathan sat down, she tossed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder and slid in next to him. She looked at him like she could screw him right there on the spot, and I wanted nothing more than to yank her right out of that seat. I should’ve just left, taken my break and let it be, but like a train wreck waiting to happen, I couldn’t pull my eyes away.
After Jada took their drink order, she walked over to the bar and said something to Tony. I was waiting for his reaction when Ava came up behind me. “What’s with the look? Is that guy still bugging you?”
“It’s nothing. I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Want something to drink? Maybe a sweet tea or…?”
“No. Really. I’m fine.” I glanced back over at Nathan’s table. That was a mistake. The green-eyed monster reared its ugly head as I saw the blonde bombshell whisper something in his ear. My chest tightened, and my entire body roiled with anger. I hated that feeling, but it was even worse when my insecurities started to wash over me. I couldn’t help it. Every time I looked at her I saw another reason why he’d be interested in her. It wasn’t just that she was attractive. She was definitely beautiful, in a trailer-park trash kind of way, but it was more than that. She was confident and carried herself like she was the hottest thing since sliced bread. Any man would’ve found her appealing, which only made me second guess things between Nathan and me even more.
I was about to turn back to Ava when I noticed Nathan looking right at me. His face was completely devoid of expression. He didn’t scoot away from the blonde with the undeniably fake boobs. He didn’t try to push her away when she placed her hand on his arm and laughed an annoying slut-faced laugh. He did nothing but sit there and stare right back at me. “Shit.”
<
br /> “What?” Ava quickly turned to see who I was staring at. “Damn, girl. Don’t even think about it. That’s Nathan James.”
“And?”
“I know he’s hot and all that, but consider him off-limits. Trust me.” She looked back at me sternly. “He’s dangerous… like Bond-villain dangerous, and nobody messes with him --nobody.”
“Okay,” I said exasperatedly and held my hands up in an exaggerated surrender.
“I’m just sayin’. He’s trouble. Don’t go getting yourself killed over a piece of ass, girl,” she laughed.
Before I had a chance to ask her how she knew he was trouble, she looked over to the bar. “Now, that guy… he’s just plain adorable. You should definitely go for that.”
I turned to look at him. He was still working on his gin and tonic, and that’s when it hit me. I knew it was a bad idea from the minute the thought came into my head, but I just didn’t care. I ignored the little warning voice as I walked over to him. Wearing my brightest smile, I placed my hand on his shoulder and asked, “Ready for another?”
His lips curled into a sexy grin. “Thanks, but I think one will do me.”
“You sure? The next one’s on me… as a way of saying sorry for being so distracted.”
“Well, I’ve never been one to turn down a drink from a beautiful lady.”
“Great.” I called out to Tony, letting him know to bring over another round. I leaned my hip against the bar as I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Do you work around here?”
“Yeah, just around the corner at Miller and Tate.”
“The lawyers’ office?”
“That’d be the one. I just started there a couple of days ago.”
“And they’ve already driven you to drinking?” I laughed.
“Not exactly.” He reached for his glass and took a quick sip. “I just got my results in from the bar exam.”
“So, are you here to drown your sorrows or to celebrate?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t opened them yet.”
“You haven’t opened them?”
His shaggy hair fell over his eyes as he reached into his side pocket for the envelope. “I haven’t worked up the nerve to look.”
“Seriously?” I’d gotten so wrapped up in our conversation that I’d almost forgotten about Nathan and his little hooker friend in the back corner. “I couldn’t do it. I’d have to open it the minute I got my hands on it.”
I looked over my shoulder and was surprised to see that Nathan was no longer sitting with his group. An uneasy feeling crept over me as I took a quick look around, and he was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, Joe Black’s phone rang. He answered it, and after a few seconds of listening to the person on the other end, he looked at me with a strange expression on his face. “Thanks for the heads up. I’m heading that way now.”
He looked away as he stood up and said, “Um, I’ve gotta go.”
“What about your drink?”
“Maybe some other time.”
Just like that, he was gone. There was still no sign of Nathan as I turned and headed towards the back. I hadn’t made it far when I was suddenly pulled into a dark corner. My back pressed against the wall as Nathan stood in front of me, his fingers digging into my waist and an enraged look on his face. I was slightly dazed by the smell of his cologne and the intensity of his blue eyes, so it took me a moment to acclimate myself. Once I came to my senses, I tried to pull away from him, but his strong hands held me in place. His voice was low and full of warning as he whispered, “Tristen.”
“What do you want?”
“Why don’t you tell me about your friend at the bar?”
“Why don’t you tell me about yours in the booth?”
“She’s my client’s girl.”
“Then why the hell was she hanging all over you?”
“I can’t answer that for ya. Besides, it’s not my place to correct another man’s woman. There was nothin’ I could do about it.”
“You could have moved seats. You could’ve brushed her off. You could’ve looked at her like she smelled bad… or something, and for your information, I was just talking to a customer, who happens to be a very nice guy.”
He grumbled something under his breath, then took a step forward, pressing me further against the wall. “Let me make this perfectly clear…. I’m not interested in that chick. There’s only one woman who has what I want, and it sure as hell isn’t her.” As he spoke, he slid his hands behind me to the small of my back. My pulse raced as I felt his hands slip down to the hem of my skirt and grab my ass with both palms. He pulled me towards him, grinding his hips into mine, and I could feel him growing hard as he said, “This hot little body of yours is mine.” He placed his mouth close to my ear, and I gasped as the heat of his breath caressed my neck. “And nobody, and I mean nobody fucks with what’s mine.”
It was vulgar. It was crude, and I should’ve hated it, but I didn’t. The longer he kept me pinned against the wall, the more turned on I became. I should’ve told him to go to hell, but I couldn’t form the words. Having his hands on me, claiming me in such a demanding way, had my body reacting against my will. He’d never acted that way before, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I did know one thing with certainty, though. If he really felt like that, he should’ve said something earlier instead of waiting until another guy was in play. Shaking my head, I placed my hand on his chest and gave him a shove. “Just stop. You’re here with another woman for Christ’s sake. I’m not yours. You don’t own me, Nathan.”
“But I do,” he scoffed. He took a step back and let his eyes slowly roam over my body. “And soon… very soon… you’ll be glad that I do.”
With that, he turned and walked away. He gave no further explanation of who he was with or why he’d even come to the restaurant, and I stood there feeling even more frustrated. I took a deep, cleansing breath and tried to collect myself. As I stepped out of the corner, I noticed Brooklyn glaring at me. It was clear that she was pissed, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she thought I was loafing or if she’d seen what had just happened with Nathan. Either way, I wasn’t going to wait around to find out. I went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face, and when I came back out, Nathan and his crew were gone.
My shift seemed to go on forever, and by the time I made it back to the condo, I was utterly exhausted. I laid in the bed and closed my eyes, but knowing Nathan was just a room away made it impossible to sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d touched me. His hands were strong and forceful, and he’d looked at me like he could’ve devoured me right there on the spot. Even though I knew it was wrong, I found myself wanting him more than ever. Everything about him had me losing control, and I’d almost worked myself into a complete frenzy until the blonde slut flashed through my mind. Like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on my head, all those lusty thoughts vanished. I started to think about Ava’s warning and the way Brooklyn had looked at me. There was more to Nathan than I’d realized, and that little voice in my head was screaming for me to get the hell out of there while I still could. But I couldn’t do it. Something was holding me back, telling me that I had to listen to Max and be patient. I just prayed that he was right.
The next day, I woke up with a new resolve. I was determined to carry on with my life, do the things that I’d set out to do. Even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I would stop being distracted by my feelings for Nathan and finish what I’d started. I didn’t have to go in to work until after the lunch rush, so I had Max run me by the college. After I went by the admissions office, I took a quick tour of the campus to familiarize myself with all the different buildings. I was feeling pretty good about things as I headed into work. With a smile on my face, I walked through the front door and was immediately greeted by a not-so-happy Brooklyn. Something about her caught my attention as she stood at the counter with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. The scowl was nothing new, but h
er clothes were a different matter. As I continued walking towards her, I realized she was wearing a new uniform. The short skirt I’d become accustomed to was now replaced with a pair of long, black pants and a much less revealing, black, button-up top.
“What’s with the new outfit?”
“I figured you already knew.” As she looked down at the seating chart, she snarled, “The owner decided to make a change.”
“Why did he do that?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“Me?” Thrown by her attitude, I asked, “Why would I know?”
She crossed her arms and glared at me angrily. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Tristen. We all know there’s something going on with you and Nathan James.”
“Nathan? What are you talking about? He doesn’t have anything to do with our uniforms.”
“Like you don’t know.” She rolled her eyes disgustedly.
“Just tell me what he has to do with the restaurant, Brooklyn!”
“He’s the owner.”
“What?”
“Nathan James is the owner. Hell, he owns all of the good restaurants in town.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing as she continued to drive the knife deeper into my back. “I couldn’t figure out why Tony hired you in the first place. We have a waiting list a mile long with people that have actual experience, but he hired you because you’re the new fling… not that that’s going to last.”
“You’re wrong. He didn’t even know I was coming in for the interview.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course, he did. He knows everything.”
“But how?”
“Haven’t you noticed all the cameras?” She motioned above us. “He knows every move we make. He’s probably watching us right now.”
“Shit. I’m such an idiot,” I mumbled under my breath. Feeling like the rug had been yanked out from under my feet, I rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls. I leaned my back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling as I tried to fight the tears. I thought back to all the different warning signs—Max and his following me everywhere, Nathan’s comment about love, Ava’s warning about him being trouble, and the girl he brought into the restaurant. All the red flags were going up at once, and the little voice in my head was having a field day. It suddenly became hard to breathe, so I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. I looked down at the screen, and as much as I hated to do it, there was only one person I could reach out to. Knowing she’d come through for me, I texted my sister.
