by L. Wilder
I watched as he slowly made his way to my SUV. It’d been several weeks since I’d come face to face with him at the clubhouse, and I wasn’t sure how things would play out as I opened my door and stepped out. “How’s it going?”
“Good. You know how it is. Never a dull moment.”
I motioned my head towards the flowers on the front steps. “Looks like Josie is settling in.”
“She is.” He turned back towards the house as he said, “Tristen looks better. Much better.”
“That was the plan all along.”
“Guess things worked out after all. See ya around, Nitro,” he clipped as he started towards his bike.
“Hey, Big.”
“Yeah?” He stopped and glared at me.
“I’m not a man who likes to admit when he’s wrong.”
Big scoffed, “No news flash there, brother.”
“I should’ve handled things differently. I owed you more than that.”
“Yeah, well the club…” he started.
“I’m not talking about the club, brother. Just you.” Big was a good man. He may not have agreed with the way I handled things with the club, but I knew in time he’d see that I’d done it for Tristen.
“Appreciate that.” He looked over his shoulder towards the house. “You know… Josie is going to wanna see Tristen. A lot. You know how sisters can be.”
“I do.”
“Guess I’ll be seeing you around.”
I smiled. “I guess you will.”
He didn’t have to say the words. I knew what he was saying. I gave him a quick nod as I slipped back inside my SUV and pulled out of the driveway. When I got to the office, Murray and Ryder were there waiting for me. Ryder was leaned back in the chair smoking a cigarette, while Murray was talking on the phone. He was just hanging up when I sat down at my desk. “What’s the latest?”
Ryder sat up in his seat as he explained, “The load was dropped. Thirty-two thousand tons of timber and the shipment were lost at sea, but no issues with the Coast Guard.”
“Good to hear.”
Murray looked over to me and said, “We’re going to have to move some things around to get these orders out on time.”
“I talked to Tate. He’s bringing his delivery in early.”
“I’ll put a call into Reedy and see if he can do the same.” I turned to Ryder and told him, “Gonna need you tomorrow. I’ve got a meet in California, and I’m going to need you to tag along.”
“You got it, boss,” Ryder answered as he stood up to leave.
Just as he walked out, my phone chimed with a text message.
Tristen:
Hey
Me:
Everything okay?
Tristen:
Yeah. Just wanted to say hi.
Me:
Missing me already?
Tristen:
Maybe a little.
Me:
A little?
Tristen:
Okay. More than a little.
Me:
Good to hear. See you soon, Angel.
“What the hell was that all about?” Murray mocked.
“What?”
“You’re fucking smiling.”
“And?”
“It’s good to see it. Just wondering why.”
“I guess you could say that things are looking up.”
“Well, it’s about fucking time.”
Things were looking up. For the first time in years, I felt lighter, like the world wasn’t weighing down on my shoulders. Without even realizing she was doing it, Tristen had taken some of the load off, and I found myself wanting to do something special for her. I remembered Max telling me that Tristen had asked him to take her to the mall. I’d cut the trip short when I told him to bring her over to Mom’s. I sent Max a message, telling him to get in touch with a lady friend of his. Tristen deserved the very best, and I was going to make damn well sure she got it.
“This place is really something,” I told Josie as I followed her into the kitchen. We all knew Big had a place of his own, but he spent most of his time at the club, mainly because he was always working on something. Since I was just one of the girls working at the club, I never really knew what was going on. None of the girls had, not even the ol’ ladies. Club business was never something we talked about, but we all knew Big played an important role. With his special set of skills, he was able to find things out that no one else could. “Are you liking it here?”
“I love it. I thought I’d get lonely being all the way out here, but between finishing up school and spending time at the club, we’re always on the go.”
“I’ll have to admit, I never thought I’d see the day when my big sister would hook up with a biker.”
“You and me both.” She laughed. “But he makes me really happy.”
“I can tell.” I sat down at the counter and took a drink of my sweet tea. “Not to freak you out or anything, but Big has always reminded me a little of Dad.”
“What? Do not put a thought like that in my head!”
“Seriously, he does. It’s not his looks or anything. I mean, come on. Big is hot, but with all that computer stuff, he’s really smart, and he’s good at what he does.”
“He’s got the gift.”
“But you do, too. I heard about you hacking the club.”
“Yeah, well, that’s probably not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Maybe not, but it all turned out really good. Look at you. You’ve got the man of your dreams, a beautiful home, and you’re about to graduate college. Mom and Dad would’ve been so proud.”
She walked over and gave me a tight hug. “They would be proud of you, too. I hope you know that.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“You’ve come a long way, Tris. You’ve got a great job, you’ve already been promoted, and you’re starting college in a few weeks.”
“I haven’t exactly done it all on my own.”
“And neither did I. We all need some help from time to time.” She gave me a look as she asked, “So, how are things with you and Nitro?”
“It’s complicated.” I spent the next few minutes telling her about what had happened to Nathan. I didn’t go into all the sordid details. I just told her enough for her to understand why things weren’t exactly easy. I immediately regretted telling her, though, when I saw the expression on her face. “It’s fine, Josie.”
“I don’t know. Something like that messes you up in ways that no one really understands.”
“Maybe, but if you can find your way through it, then you come back stronger.”
“But if you don’t, then you’re screwed up for life.”
“I never thought of you as the negative type. Here you are with a biker who’s a freaking computer hacker. If you can put a positive spin on that, then you can put it on anything.”
“That’s different. Big loves me. He really loves me. I’d just hate to see you fall for someone who won’t be able to love you the way you deserve.”
“Well, it’s too late for that. I’m already falling for him.”
She sighed as she replied, “I know. I could tell the minute you walked through the door. Just don’t lose yourself in this guy. If he can’t be the man you need him to be, and I mean in every way, then walk away.”
“It wouldn’t be easy to walk away from Nathan.”
“No, I imagine it wouldn’t be. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.” She walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside. “On a different note, how about a sandwich? We could eat it out on the porch.”
“That sounds great. Need some help?”
“I’ve got it. I know how you tend to overdo it with the mayonnaise.”
“The more mayo the better.”
“Ugh,” she laughed. “Why don’t you just refill our drinks?”
“I can do that.”
Josie started making our sandwiches while I grabbed the pitcher of tea. I’d just finished refil
ling our glasses when she asked, “You didn’t tell me which classes you signed up for.”
“I’m just starting with the basics for now. With work, I’ll only be able to take a few at a time.”
“Why don’t you just use the money that Mom and Dad.…”
“I don’t want to do that,” I interrupted. “I know it may sound crazy to you, but I need to do this on my own.”
“It does sound crazy, Tristen. They left us that money so they could secure our future.”
“I’m sure that money will come in handy at some point, but for now, I need to do this my way, Josie.”
“You’ve always been so stubborn.”
“And you haven’t?” I teased.
“I guess that’s one trait we got from Mom. Stubborn as the day is long.”
“I think you have a lot of Mom in you.”
“Oh, really? Like what?”
“Her smile for one… and her heart. You’ve always had a way of seeing the best in people.”
“That’s not always a good thing.”
“It is a good thing. A very good thing.” She finished up the sandwiches and said, “You ready to eat?”
“Absolutely.”
We spent the next hour out on the porch, talking and catching up. She told me all about Lauren and how well she was doing with Cass and Cotton. Lauren was a special young girl, and it did my heart good to know that she was truly doing well. When it came time for Josie to go to school, I sent Max a message letting him know I was ready for him to come get me. Once I’d finished helping her take our dishes back into the kitchen, I turned to her and asked, “Do you think there will ever come a time when we can all have dinner together or something?”
“What do you mean?”
“With everything that happened with Nathan and the club… do you think they’ll ever be able to move past it?”
“I’d like to think so, but you never know. Sometimes men can be bullheaded. Let’s just give it some time and see how things play out.”
As much as I enjoyed my visit with my sister, I left there feeling a little out of sorts. She had me thinking about the future, especially my future with Nathan, and I found myself wondering if maybe she was right. Maybe a past like Nathan’s was just too hard to overcome. Maybe he wouldn’t ever be able to love me the way I wanted him to, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to give him a chance. I wanted a future with him, a chance to find a place in his heart, and I just had to hold on to the hope that I might actually have it one day.
“You okay over there? Looks like you have something on your mind,” Max asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Oh, sorry. I was just in my own world there for a minute. Everything’s fine.”
“Good. You had me worried for a minute.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you have someone special in your life? You know, like a girlfriend or something?”
“No. I can’t say that I do.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have time for it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I have my fun, but when it comes down to it, something real just isn’t in the cards for me.”
“I’m sure if the right girl came along, you’d see things differently.”
“I already found the right girl, but like I said, something real just isn’t in the cards for me.”
“But, how do….”
“I’m good, Tristen. I like the way things are. No need in complicating things.”
“Okay, I’ll leave it, but you should think about it. Sometimes the complications are what makes life worthwhile.”
After Max dropped me off, I decided to take a hot bath and change my clothes, so I would be ready when Nathan got home. Before I started the water, I went to the closet to find something to wear. When I opened the door, I was surprised to find that it was filled with extravagant dresses, shirts, and pants. I was taken aback as I took out one of the long, black dresses. I held it up to my chest as I looked in the mirror. I loved how the A-line flowed at the hips. It was absolutely stunning. Excitement surged through me as I rushed over to the closet and reached for another dress, and then another and another. Each one of them was simply amazing. When I came across a little black dress with a low cut back, I quickly undressed and slipped it on. The fabric hung perfectly against my body, like it was made for me, and I’d never felt so beautiful.
Deciding that it would be the perfect outfit for my night with Nathan, I took it off and laid it across the bed. I went over to my dresser and found each drawer filled to the brim with new jeans, t-shirts, bras, and panties. I was sifting through the new clothes when it hit me. An awful feeling crept over me as I realized my things weren’t there—none of them. Panic rushed through me as I frantically pulled everything out of the drawers, piling the t-shirts, jeans, and undergarments onto the floor. I searched for something-- anything-- that was mine. I checked and checked again, but they were gone. What had started out as every girl’s fantasy had turned into an absolute nightmare. I got up and searched the closet, and again found nothing of mine. I raced around the room as I checked every drawer and every cabinet. Finding no sign of them, I checked the other rooms. Nothing.
I was devastated. It was one thing to buy a girl a few new things, to try to make her feel special, but this was something else altogether. He’d taken what was mine and tossed it out like last week’s trash. I stood there staring at the new clothes piled on the floor, and I felt absolutely heartbroken. I couldn’t understand why he’d done it. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, so I slipped on my bathrobe and went into the living room. As I sat on the sofa, my anger continued to boil inside of me. By the time Nathan walked through the door, I was beyond furious with him. I turned and glared at him as he tossed his keys on the counter and started over to me. “What have you done?”
He cocked his head in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“The clothes, Nathan.”
“Ah, that’s right. The new clothes.” He smiled as he sat down next to me. “Do you like them?”
I was trying to stay calm, but it wasn’t easy, especially with that damn smile on his face. “Where are my things?”
“What are you so upset about? You have new things. Everything you could possibly need.”
“Maybe I didn’t want all new things, Nathan. Did you ever think of that? No, of course you didn’t.” I stood up and started to pace. “You are so damn frustrating!”
“I didn’t…” he started.
“You just do whatever you think is best, and go with it, to hell with what anyone else wants! You can’t do that. It’s not right!”
“I was trying to do something good here.”
“There is nothing good about taking someone’s things without telling them. It’s intrusive and just… stupid!” I stopped and crossed my arms as I turned to face him. “Just tell me what you’ve done with my things.”
“I thought you’d like…” he began.
“You thought I’d like to have my things thrown out and replaced with all new stuff? Well, you couldn’t have been more wrong! They are my things, not yours!”
“Hold on a minute.” He stood up and walked over to me, placing his hands on my hips as he tried to calm me down. “I was trying to do something good here, Angel.”
“This goes back to you thinking that I’m a possession, that you can just go into my room and take my things without even talking to me about it. It’s scary that you think you have that kind of control over me, Nathan. I know you were trying to do a good thing, but that only makes it more frightening.” I placed my hand on his chest as I continued, “What if the tables were turned, and I’d gone into your room, taken your things, and replaced them all with things I liked? How would you feel?”
“I get that I messed up, but you have to give me a chance to fix it.”
Seeing that he was genuinely concerned, I let out a deep breath. “My dad’s t-shirt. It’s the only thing I have
of his. I wear it whenever I’m feeling homesick or out of place. It means a lot to me.”
“I’ll get it back. No matter what it takes, I’ll get it all back, Angel.” He pulled me close, hugging me tightly as he kissed me on the temple. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“I really love the clothes, Nathan. It’s just….”
“I know. I fucked up.” He pulled his phone out of his side pocket and sent a message to someone. When they answered back, he turned and started for the door. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?”
“Just sit tight. I won’t be long.”
I tried to be patient, but after thirty minutes had passed, I began to wonder if something was wrong, or if my things would be lost forever. Just as I was about to go look for him, the door opened, and he stepped inside carrying two large bags. “I think this is all of it.”
I rushed over to him and took one of the bags from his hand. I quickly opened it and was relieved to see my things were inside. “Oh, thank god. They’re all here!”
He didn’t respond as I continued to rifle through the bag. When I finally stood up and actually looked at him, I saw that his shirt and pants were filthy and stained, and he smelled bad, really bad. “Wait a minute. What happened to you?”
“Let’s not talk about it.” He smiled and started walking down the hall. “I’m going to take a shower. When I get out, I’ll help you get your things back where they belong.”
“That’s not necessary. I can do it.”
He stopped, and when he turned to look at me, I immediately regretted being so angry with him. “As far as the new stuff goes, keep what you want, and toss the rest. I didn’t mean….”
I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I said, “I really do love the new clothes, but… Nathan, you have to be willing to take the risk to love and know that you might lose. You can’t control every little thing that happens to the people you care about, no matter how much you love them or want to keep them safe.”
