by L. Wilder
“The next few hours are critical. He lost a lot of blood, and the doctor is having a hard time regulating his blood pressure. He just got another blood transfusion, and they are hoping that will help.”
“When can we see him?”
“He really needs his rest, but I can take one of you back for a few minutes.”
Tristen turned to me and said, “You go. I’m sure he’d like to see you.”
I nodded and followed the nurse down the corridor. My chest tightened as we headed down the second hallway. I hated hospitals. I’d been in them more times than I could count, and just knowing the rooms were filled with people fighting for their lives gave me an uneasy feeling. I knew Max was bad off, but I didn’t know just how bad, until I followed the nurse into his room. She hadn’t mentioned that he was hooked up to so much shit, and he looked like he was on his death bed. I walked over to the side of the bed, and I almost didn’t recognize him with the respirator over his mouth and the bruising around his face.
I leaned towards him, and as I placed my hand on his forearm, I whispered, “Max, you did good. Real good. I need you to hang in there. Don’t stop fighting.”
After the nurse checked his stats, she looked over to me. “I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes. They say he can hear you, so just keep talking to him, and let me know if you need anything.”
Once she was gone, I looked down at Max and watched the rise and fall of his chest as the respirator filled his lungs with oxygen. It was tough seeing him so messed up, and knowing it should’ve been me lying there, I would’ve done anything to be able to trade places with him. He didn’t deserve any of it, and I needed to tell him I was sorry. I’d never been one for talking. I’d always kept things bottled up, but Max could take one look at me and know what was on my mind. As much as I needed him to do that now, I knew he couldn’t. So, I pulled up a chair next to him and just started talking.
“You know, I could really use some of your unsolicited advice right about now. I’ve made a real mess of things, and I’m not sure I have it in me to fix it. I was too caught up in getting my revenge. I needed them to pay for what they’d done, and I was too focused on them to see that the people I cared about might get caught in the crossfire. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry you’re in here fighting for your life because of the choices I made. I need you to pull through this and tell me how to fix it. I know you’d just tell me that all this comes with the territory, that I needed to toughen up and do what needs to be done, but I don’t even know where to start. Hell, I’ve still got Lenny locked up in that damn warehouse. I’ve gotta deal with that shit before I can deal with the mess I’ve made with Tristen.” I ran my fingers through my hair as I leaned back in my chair. “Hell, I’ve really fucked up there. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was just caught up in making her mine, and I didn’t even realize what was happening until it had already happened. I thought I’d be able to keep my guard up, to protect myself from all those feelings, but she got to me, brother. She found a way through, and now, I’m all messed up in the head.”
When I didn’t get a response, I looked over to him and saw that he was still out cold. It was late. I needed to get Tristen home, and hopefully, by the time we made it back, he’d be awake. I stopped by to let the nurse know I was leaving, then I headed to find Tristen. When I got to the waiting room, she was sound asleep in her chair. She’d been through hell and was beyond exhausted. I walked over and lifted her into my arms, cradling her close to my chest as I carried her out to the car. Once I had her settled inside, she mumbled, “How is he?”
“He’s making it okay. Get some sleep.”
In a matter of seconds, she drifted back off to sleep. She continued to sleep all the way back to the condo, and as soon as we got upstairs, she headed down the hall and went to bed. As much as I hated to leave her, especially alone and upset, I needed to get over to the warehouse and deal with Lenny. I set the alarm and headed down to my car. I was running on fumes as I headed to the warehouse, but the thought of finally getting to Lenny gave me the drive to keep going. When I walked in, Ryder was there waiting for me. When I started towards the room where I’d put Lenny, Ryder said, “Before you go in there, I think you need to have a word with Darla.”
The look on his face made me curious. “Why? What’s going on?”
“She’s got some information you’d be interested in.”
“About?”
“Just talk to her.”
I left him and went straight to the room where I had her bound to the chair. As soon as I walked in, I went over and I released her from the restraints. Relief washed over her as she stood. “Are you letting me go?”
“That’s up to you. Ryder says you have information for me.”
“I’m not sure if it’ll help… or if it even matters.”
“Let me decide that.”
“I told you that Lenny was in trouble with Calhoun.”
“Yeah?”
“Well there’s more. He has this book… like some ledger or somethin’. It has all of his transactions and shows where he’s been skimming off the top. If Calhoun knew, he’d be dead already. Lenny knows it, and he knows Calhoun has become suspicious.”
“So, how much money are we talking about?”
“Thousands and thousands. It started off with just a little, but he got greedy.”
“Any idea where this ledger is?”
“It’s in his car, hidden under the driver’s seat. You have to look for it, but it’s there. I’ve seen it myself.”
“Are you sure it’s still there?”
“I saw him put it there before we went to eat breakfast.”
“Go outside and wait in the black truck. There’s a cooler in the back. Get a drink and get inside. Stay put until Ryder comes out. Understood?”
“Understood.” As she started for the door, she turned to me and asked, “What about Lenny?”
“Get to the truck, Darla.”
As soon as she was gone, I left that room and headed over to Lenny. When I walked in, he was barely conscious. His face was even more swollen than I remembered, and he was struggling to breathe. A calmness settled over me as I walked over to Lenny and placed a black sack over his head. He groaned as I pulled him to his feet. He tried to resist as I tugged him out of the room, but his fight was futile. He was beaten and weak, barely able to walk, and the inability to see only made him more helpless. I continued to lead him forward until we entered another room, a room where his life would soon come to an end. Ryder came up behind Lenny and helped me secure him to the hook with his hands over his head. When I removed the sack, his swollen eyes widened as he looked around the room.
“What is this?” he gasped. Without answering, I walked over to the table full of tools and reached for a sledgehammer. As I headed back over to Lenny, he started to shake his head and pleaded, “Don’t! Just shoot me. Get this shit over with!”
“For ten years I’ve had to live with the fact that you not only killed my father, but you murdered Lainey and my daughter. I’ve had to live with that every minute of every day. Now, it’s your time to feel the pain I felt all those years.”
“It doesn’t have to be like this! I’ll give you anything you want.”
“You’re about to give me the only thing I’ve ever wanted from you. Your life in exchange for theirs.”
Three hours later, I took out my phone and took a picture of Lenny’s remains. Once I’d sent it to Ryder’s phone, I turned to him and said, “We need to clean up this mess, and then, you get Darla and get to Sacramento. I want that ledger and that picture in Calhoun’s hands by tomorrow night.”
“You got it, boss.”
After we’d taken care of Lenny’s body, Ryder got in the truck with Darla and headed towards California. Once they’d gone, I got in my car and started the engine. I sat there for a minute, letting the satisfaction of Lenny’s death wash over me. It was done. He’d finally paid for the hell he’d put me and my family through.
I thought I’d feel differently, that I would find the peace I was looking for, but there was still a storm of emotions raging inside of me. I needed time to clear my head before I headed home. My mind was bombarded with thoughts as I pulled out onto the main road and started to drive. As I thought about everything that had happened, I realized that my life had been broken into two separate worlds— the one before Tristen and the one after. Since Lainey’s death, I hadn’t truly lived. I’d kept myself shut off from others, holding on to my pain and my thirst for revenge alone, but that was over. Tonight, I closed the door on the world before Tristen, and I was ready to take a chance on my future.
It was well after sunrise by the time I made it home. I just wanted to get in the bed next to Tristen and forget everything. I took a hot shower and slipped into the bed next to her. Thankfully she didn’t resist. Instead, she nestled her back against my chest, and as soon as I felt the warmth of her body next to mine, the tension I’d been carrying started to fade. I could feel myself drifting, knowing sleep was coming, but I fought it. I had her next to me, safe in my arms, and I didn’t want to wake up only to find that it had all been just a dream.
It was time for me to decide if I was going to give up and stop fighting for something I may never have or press forward. Either way, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Walking away from him would hurt in ways I could only imagine. I loved him, and I wanted a life with him, but there were no guarantees. A man like him, damaged and stubborn as hell, would be hard to deal with, but I’d seen glimpses of the man he could be—soft and gentle, tender and caring. He was a man worth fighting for. He’d given me so much, things that I didn’t even know I wanted, and yet, I found myself hoping for more. I wanted the part of him that he tried to keep hidden, the part he didn’t allow others to see—his heart. As I looked at him sleeping in the bed next to me, I knew I’d do anything to get it. I wanted to help heal his broken heart, but before I could do that, I needed all the pieces. I needed him to trust me, and it was up to me to prove to him that he could.
With my mind set on what I needed to do, I got out of bed and got dressed. Knowing he’d gotten in late, I headed into the kitchen and got us both a cup of coffee. Hearing me stirring around the room, Nathan rolled over to face me and with sleepy eyes, he gave me a half smile. “Morning, Angel.”
“Morning.” I placed his coffee over on the bedside table and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I called the hospital, and Max hasn’t come around yet. But his blood pressure is doing better, and they’ve taken him off the respirator.”
“That sounds promising.”
“I thought so, and Tony is up and doing much better.”
“Good to hear.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then reached for his coffee. Before he took a drink, he asked, “How about you? Are you doing okay?”
“A little rough around the edges, but I’m fine.” I bit my bottom lip as I tried to work up the courage to say the words. I was wavering and knew if I didn’t just say it, I would lose my nerve. “You know… it isn’t what happened with those men or what is going to happen to them that gets to me. It’s the fact that you shut me out. It hurt me.”
His brow furrowed as he propped himself up on his elbow and studied me apprehensively. “I didn’t shut you out, Tristen. I was trying to protect you. This is my past… it doesn’t concern you.”
His words stung more than he realized, but I continued on. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. If this is going to work, you have to let me in… or you have to let me go.”
He shook his head in frustration and stood up from the bed. He raked his hands through his hair as he paced across the room. Finally, he turned to me and said, “Tristen, I don’t want you to see that part of me.”
“Nathan, don’t you see… I love you regardless of your past, and I want to be a part of your future. If you feel the same about me, then this is how you show me.”
After a long tense pause, he sat down on the edge of the bed. “I do feel the same.”
“Good, because whether you know it or not, I love you, Nathan.” I walked over to him and placed my hands on his chest. “I think I fell in love with you the night you rescued me, and since that day, you’ve made me fall for you over and over again. I want to be with you… not just when it’s easy and everything is fine, but also when it’s hard and gut-wrenchingly complicated. So, let me stand beside you, not put me behind a closed door.”
I could see the wheels turning in his head as I waited for his answer. Tension rolled off him as he considered his next move. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to talk about and I worried he’d just blow me off, but eventually, he said, “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
With that, he started talking. He spent the next half-hour telling me everything that had happened over the past week. It was surreal hearing all the grisly details of how he’d gotten Lenny and his girlfriend to the warehouse, and how Joey had been able to find us using her cellphone. He didn’t go into all the details, but he told me that he’d taken care of Lenny. The news didn’t surprise me, and I couldn’t blame him for killing him.
“I know that Lainey meant the world to you, that you loved her and Lila Grace, and I know they took them from you. Both of those men were cold blooded murderers, and what they did is unforgiveable. Whatever you did to him is better than he deserves.”
“I can’t disagree with you there.” He kissed me on the forehead and said, “Are you ready to go see about our boys?”
It was clear that he was done talking, and I was good with that. He’d done what I needed him to do, so I answered, “Absolutely.”
“I’m going to take a quick shower, and then we can go.”
While he went to get ready, I walked to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. By the time he walked in, I was almost done eating. He peered over my shoulder with a puzzled look. “What the hell is that?”
“Cereal. Duh.”
“You’re seriously eating Cocoa Puffs?”
“What’s wrong with Cocoa Puffs?”
“Nothing… if you’re twelve.”
“Well, it beats that awful fiber stuff of yours. I don’t know how you can stand to eat that crap. It tastes like cardboard.”
“It’s good for you.”
“Maybe if you’re eighty.” I laughed as I got up and put my bowl in the sink. “Now, are you ready to go or what?”
“I’m all set.”
I followed him down to the garage, and I found myself getting nervous as we started for the car. Without realizing it, I’d stopped walking, and I was standing there staring at the blood-stained concrete. Thoughts of Max lying there on the ground fighting for his life came rushing back to me. Seeing that I was upset, Nathan came up behind me and with his mouth close to my ear, he whispered, “It’s going to be okay.”
“You really think so?”
“There’s only one way to find out.” He took my hand and led me over to the car. Once I was inside, he started the car and since Tony was closer, he drove us over to check on him. As I’d hoped, he was doing much better. The bullet hadn’t hit any vital organs, and if he continued to progress, they hoped to release him by the next morning. After a short visit with him, we headed to Regional to see Max. I could feel the anxiousness building inside of me as we got closer to the hospital. I hadn’t gotten a good feeling when I spoke with his nurse earlier that morning, and she said he was unresponsive. By the time we made it to the hospital, I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure what to expect when Nathan opened the door to Max’s room. When I stepped in and saw Max’s bright eyes looking at me, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest.
I turned to Nathan and tried to contain my excitement as I said, “He’s awake!”
“I see that.” He chuckled as he walked over to the edge of the bed. “How ya feeling?”
“I’ve been better,” Max told him with a strained voice, “but I’m doing okay. They seem to think I’m gonna live.”
“Well, th
at’s good to hear. You had us worried there for a minute.”
I walked over next to Nathan and added, “Are you really okay?”
Max gave me a smile and a quick wink. “It’s gonna take more than a couple of bullets to take me down.”
“Seriously, Max. It was really bad. You had us both scared to death.”
Max looked over to Nathan and teased, “You were worried about me? Now, that’s sweet.”
“Don’t be a dick, Max,” Nathan scolded. “You were pretty fucked up when they loaded you into that helicopter.”
“Well, it’s my own damn fault. I should’ve double-checked the van. Hell, I should’ve done a lot of things.”
“None of this was your fault,” Nathan assured him.
“Well, it sure as hell isn’t yours, and if you think it is, you’re wrong.” Max grimaced as he shifted his body in the bed. “Besides, none of that matters right now. We need to be prepared for blowback from Calhoun. Once I get my laptop, I’ll get…”
“No. You’re not doing a goddamn thing but laying in that fucking bed and getting better. Nothing else.” Nathan shook his head. “And you can put your mind at ease over Calhoun. I’ve got him covered.”
“How’s that?”
“I said, I’ve got it covered. Now, you focus on you and leave the rest to me.”
“If you say so.” I could tell by the sound of Max’s voice that he was concerned, but he knew once Nathan set his mind to something, there was no use arguing with him. “Any issues with the cops?”
“Right now they think it was just a random kidnapping attempt. We’ll do what we can to keep them focused in that direction.”
“If you bring my laptop over I can….”
“Max.”
He raised his hands in defense. “What? You can’t blame a guy for trying.”
In an attempt to change the subject, I asked, “Do you need anything?”
“You mean other than my laptop?” he chuckled. “No, I’m good. Anna Kate was my emergency contact, so the hospital called her this morning. She’s on her way here, and I’m sure she’ll take really good care of me… or finish me off. There’s no way to be sure.”
