by Colbie Kay
“I will. Thanks, Sierra.” Jacey smiles.
I mimic her smile. “You’re welcome, and listen to Bear—get some rest.”
I hold my breath, my body rigid as I walk out of the room. Even with Bear next to me, it does nothing to relax my fear of the man I thought I would never see again.
As we walk out of the hall and back into the bar area, I look around. He’s nowhere to be seen; I’m able to breathe freely and my posture slackens. Picking up my pace, I push the sonogram machine back out to my Navigator, not so carefully this time because, let’s face it, I’m ready to get the hell out of here. Bear puts it in the back while I get into the driver’s seat.
He shuts the trunk and comes to the driver’s side door. “Thanks again, Sierra. I’ll compensate you for coming.”
I wave him off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad Jacey and the baby are fine.” He shuts the door for me and heads back into the clubhouse.
I start the Navigator and head home to my empty bed.
Chapter 4
After I first saw that bitch in my club, I didn’t think she would have enough courage to show herself here again. Guess I was wrong, because here we are, and I’m instantly thrown into a rage.
“What the fuck are you doing in my club again?” I’m on guard with my legs spread, arms crossed over my chest as I stare the doctor down.
“I was just leaving.” Her voice is quiet as the fear radiates off her. She should be scared; she has no business here. She doesn’t break eye contact, though, and that shows she doesn’t want others to see her intimidated.
“Hacker?” Hanger questions from my side.
My angry eyes never leave her. “Stay the fuck out of it, Hanger.” She goes to step around me, but I block her. “I said, what the fuck are you doing in my club?”
“Please, just let me go,” she begs.
Hanger steps between us. “Hacker, get the fuck out of the way and let her leave. I won’t tell you again.”
I step back, listening to my Prez, before saying, “You don’t come here again—if you do, you won’t be leaving so easily. Understood?” She bypasses the two of us without a response and hightails it out of the club. I turn my narrowed eyes on Hanger. “If she was here because of Writer, you’ll be lucky if he don’t die.” Writer was just in a bad motorcycle accident because he was too fucked up on the drugs he’s been taking.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? When has it ever been okay to threaten a woman? You get your shit together, brother. This isn’t just your club, and if she can help, then she will. You talk to her like that again, you’ll be dealing with me. Understood?” His brow cocks.
I have no reply because if she shows up here again I’ll make good on my threat. I gotta get the fuck outta here. Why does she keep coming back here? Why do they have to call her for every fucking problem? None of them know what she has done, how she destroyed my life, took everything from me.
I push open the door to go outside, my anger rising inside of me like a raging fire. I need a release and there’s only one place I know where to get it. I walk to my Harley, straddle the beast, and start it up, feeling the power come alive underneath me as I race against myself to the highway.
That night plays in my mind like a fuckin’ nightmare and has for the last twelve years.
The cold.
The ice.
The pain.
The words no one should ever fuckin’ hear.
Thirty minutes later I’m let into the gate, and I park my bike along the others before stomping to the front door.
“Where’s Snake?” I ask Storm, the Cobras’ Vice President.
“I’ll call him for you.” Since my club and the Cobras have an alliance, I have no issue stepping on their territory, just like they have no issue stepping on ours. If it was any other club, it would be a different story and no doubt lives would be lost. Someone puts their hand on my shoulder; I turn to see the scantily-clad whore standing there with a smile, but I’m not in the mood to deal with no fuckin’ bitch.
Laying my hand on top of hers, I squeeze, causing her to wince. “Did I tell you that you could put your hand on me?”
“No.” She shakes her head and tries to pull her hand out of mine.
“Then keep them off me and make sure every other bitch does, too. Understood?” She nods frantically. “Good, now move the fuck on.” I release her hand and watch as she scurries away.
“Hacker, what can I do for you?” Snake, the Cobras’ President, questions as he walks up to me.
“I need a fight.”
“Great!” He smiles. “Let’s go into my office and we’ll set one up.”
“No, I want it now. I need it now.”
“Follow me.” He leads me to his office and shuts the door behind us. “I’m not sure if I can get enough bids for now.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the money. I wanna fight and I need to shed some blood. Find one of your guys willing to go up against me and let’s do it.”
His brow cocks. “You got anyone to wrap your hands?”
“Don’t need ‘em wrapped. I want bare-knuckle.”
“Christ, Hacker, what’s goin’ on with you? You know this isn’t how we do the fights.”
I ignore his question. “You gonna do it or do I need to go find one of your hang-arounds to send to the hospital?”
He shakes his head and lets out a deep breath. “Wait here.” He walks to the door and shuts it behind him.
I help myself to a chair and wait. Finally, the door opens, and I turn my attention to Snake as he stays at the open door. “Ace’ll do it. Come out back.” I nod once, stand, and head through the clubhouse to the back door.
The circle is already beginning to form, a mix of men and women ready to see punches thrown in the bloodbath between me and Ace. Finding Dodger in the audience, I remove my cut, hand it to him, and do the same with my black t-shirt. Removing my rings, I put them in the pocket of my jeans then push between the people in the crowd until I’m in the open center of the circle.
Ace is ready and waiting. Snake joins the circle and starts to go over the rules, but I tune him out. I know the rules; this isn’t my first fuckin’ fight here. Shaking my arms at my sides, I loosen up, roll my neck side to side, and focus on Ace. Once Snake steps back, I have my stance ready and begin to move in, as does Ace. I take the first jab, but he blocks it with his forearms.
Ace punches with his right, connecting with my cheek. My head turns to the side, but it doesn’t deter me any. I move in quickly, throwing a few strikes and landing half of them. He gets a good one in, splitting my lip, and the coppery taste of blood invades my mouth; I spit some onto the ground.
Ace’s eye is starting to swell shut; that’ll be his weakness, so I move into his blind spot and find an opening. My fist flies forward into the bridge of his nose, instantly breaking it, and blood gushes from his nostrils. The crowd goes crazy: clapping, yelling, and cheering.
He drops his guard to cover his nose, but I get him again, knocking him to the ground. Towering over him, I rain fist after fist, landing punch after punch. He’s no longer protecting himself; he’s knocked out, but I can’t stop.
I see the blood covering my hands.
I see the blood pouring from his face.
I see that night.
The cold.
The ice.
The pain.
The words no one should ever fuckin’ hear.
Someone pulls me away. “He’s done.” It’s Snake. “Go home, Hacker. Don’t come back looking for a fight until you got your shit together.” He pulls me out of the circle, and I shake him off without a response.
Dodger hands me my t-shirt and cut. I don’t bother putting them on, instead storming through the clubhouse and out the front door. Stra
ddling my bike, I shove my shirt in one of the saddlebags and put my cut on. I start up my beast and head home to clean my wounds and drown the pain with a bottle of whiskey.
Chapter 5
Here I am, once again sitting in my Navigator and driving to a place I know I shouldn’t. I’m putting myself into a situation that will turn bad, it does every time. But…I’ve gotten close with the women of the Satan’s Sinners, and I can’t say no when one of them needs me.
This time it’s Ever, Zoey’s twin sister. She’s been having pregnancy symptoms, but just had what she thinks is her period. She’s been having some cramping, except it’s more painful than regular menstrual cramps. The girls bought her three pregnancy tests from the drugstore and they all came back inconclusive, so today we are going to find out for sure.
I’ve been through a lot with these women: pregnancies, Writer’s detox and motorcycle accident, and loved ones leaving. I love these ladies, and that might be strange because they know nothing about me, but they are the closest I have to real, true friends. But… I need to tell them that after today I can’t come back to the clubhouse. We can meet somewhere else or at my office, but I can’t take coming here anymore.
I can’t handle the torment Hacker puts me through any longer.
I pull into the gate and park in the lot along with the rest of the vehicles and motorcycles. Grabbing my purse with the test from the clinic inside, I get out of my Navigator and start walking towards everyone outside. When the girls see me they all jump up at once, but it’s at the same moment Hacker and Doc come out the door.
I freeze, not knowing what to do; Hacker strides towards me in long, quick steps. My eyes widen in fear, but Bear, Ghost, and BamBam stop him, holding him back from charging any closer. Thank God! My feet finally begin to move, and the same rage-filled expression is clear on his face as I walk by. My feet are in motion—no way am I stopping until I’m safely inside. I don’t need to look behind me to know the girls are following close behind, straight into the clubhouse.
“I warned you not to come back here! Go and hide now, but you can’t stay in there forever. I’ll make good on my threat, fuckin’ believe that, bitch. You think you belong in my world? You fuckin’ don’t, but maybe you could make a good little whore and get passed around.” His laugh is sinister, then he continues, “Maybe you’d be better at takin’ cock than bein’ a fuckin’ doctor. Keep comin’ back here and one day my brothers won’t be here to protect you.”
I weaken with every hateful word that spews from his mouth. Someone pulls me along with them; my ragged breaths are short and I feel like I’m being deprived of oxygen. Tears sting my eyes; he’s just torn another piece from my soul.
“Hacker, enough!” someone demands loudly—I recognize Hanger’s voice—before silence ensues.
“Jesus Christ, what happened between you two?” Jacey questions from my side.
I shake my head furiously. “It wasn’t my fault.” Tears cascade down my cheeks. “He blames me, but it wasn’t my fault,” I sob, my body shaking uncontrollably as someone helps me sit on a bed.
Memories flash behind my eyes.
That night.
The heartbreak.
The realization.
The first time I broke.
“Honey, what did he blame you for?” Zoey questions, kneeling in front of me.
“Whatever it was, he doesn’t have any right treating her like that!” Jacey sounds pissed off.
A voice I don’t recognize pops in with, “I’ve never seen Hacker like that.”
“I can’t. I can’t talk about it.” I shake my head, try to gain my composure, and wipe my wet cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I look around the room at Zoey, Jacey, Ever, and two women I haven’t met yet. “I hope you understand I can’t come here anymore. I can’t deal with him any longer. Each time his anger, nasty words, and hate rip away another part of me. I can’t let him do this to me again. I’m a good person and I’m a damn good doctor!” My bottom lip quivers; my eyes brim with tears ready to start falling. Each woman in this room has different levels of worry etched on their faces. “I’ll be fine,” I try to reassure them, and now I need to deflect the situation. I slap my thighs, put a smile on my face, and stand up. “Let’s find out if Ever is pregnant.”
Ever is deaf and I don’t know sign language, so I pull the test out of my purse and hand the urine cup to her twin sister, Zoey, who used to be a nurse. “You can explain to her how to do it correctly. When she is done I will go in and perform the test.”
“Thanks, Sierra. I just want you to know we all care about you and you are part of this group of amazing ladies. But...we understand you not wanting to come back. If we would have known it would be that bad or he would have been that disrespectful then we wouldn’t have had you come here in the first place. We’re sorry for ever putting you in the situation to be around Hacker.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “When you’re ready to talk, we’re here for you.”
“Yep, what she said—and we love ya’ girl,” Jacey chimes in, making us laugh.
“Thank you! It means a lot to me—and I love you, too! Now get her in there to take the test!”
Zoey takes Ever into the bathroom, and it takes a few minutes for Zoey to come back out. We all wait patiently for Ever to finish in the bathroom, and when the door opens, I grab the pair of latex gloves, the test strip, and dropper out of my purse and go into the bathroom.
Dropping a few drops of urine from the cup onto the test strip, I watch the two lines immediately start forming: Ever is definitely pregnant. I remove my gloves, wash my hands, and open the bathroom door with a smile on my face. My gaze connects with Ever, and I nod, watching her cover her mouth with her hands, tears forming in her eyes. All of us excitedly hug Ever, but I’m the first to pull back to grab my purse.
Zoey’s right; all of these ladies are amazing with their support for one another. “I’m going to go now.”
Zoey and Jacey come stand in front of me. Zoey says, “Thank you, Sierra.”
“You’re welcome! She will need to make an appointment. Tell Ever I’m so happy for her.”
“We’ll call you so we can have lunch,” Jacey chimes in and pulls me in for a hug.
Zoey joins in, “Before you go; we didn’t get to introduce you to Chatty or Audrey.”
“Nice to meet you, Sierra. I’m Chatty.” The blonde waves with a smile.
“I’m Audrey.” The other smiles as well, and for the first time I notice her crazy hair color, tattoos, and piercings. These two are just as beautiful as Zoey, Ever, and Jacey.
“It’s nice to meet you both.” I mirror their smiles and turn back to Jacey and Zoey. “It’ll be nice to have lunch, so please do call me, but I really need to go now.”
The ladies walk me out of the clubhouse, where I look around outside and don’t see Hacker anywhere, so I think I’m safe to leave. I make it to my Navigator without incident and when I shut the driver’s side door I release a deep, relieved breath. The sun is beginning to set, I’m exhausted from my breakdown, and I just want to get home.
Forty minutes later, I park in my driveway since the garage is currently full of stuff. I need to put it on my to-do list to get the garage cleaned out. I grab my purse and keys from the ignition and climb out of the SUV.
I walk up to the front door, get my key in the lock, and suddenly a hand covers my mouth. My eyes widen in shock and I flail around, trying to break free as I’m dragged from my porch to the side of the house. I try biting the hand that’s covering my mouth, but it does nothing to stop my assailant.
Suddenly, I’m spun around; my back slams into the grey siding of my house. Oh, God, I’m staring into the deathly cold eyes of Hacker. He firmly holds me in place with one of his huge arms across my chest as his other hand pushes against my mouth. How did he find out where I live? I try to scream und
erneath his hand, but it’s muffled, so no one would be able to hear me anyway. My wide eyes pool with tears.
“How you like me bein’ on your territory?” His smirk is evil, and I’m terrified he’s going to hurt me. Every scenario of what he could do runs through my mind. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
He slackens his hold on me just enough to let me nod. Tears spill over and run down my cheeks, I’m so scared. My body trembles against the house.
“Do you know what I could do to you right now? No one would ever know.” He leans in closer, whispers against my ear, “You know why they call me Hacker?” His breath blows against my skin, and not in a good way.
“Sierra?” Shelly yells from the front porch.
“Say one word to anyone about me being here and I’ll pay you another visit. Understood?” I nod again.
He releases me and I run from the side of the house, past Shelly and Cash, not once looking back. “Sierra, are you okay?” Cash calls after me. I can’t answer; I’ll break down once again, and I can’t let them see me like that.
I go straight for my bedroom and into the bathroom. After I turn the shower water on, I strip my clothes from my body, and sit on the shower floor, letting the steaming water run over me. Loud wails rip from my chest as I expel it all.
Long after the water has turned cold, I’m finally calm enough to get out. I wrap a towel around my soaking, shivering body and get under the covers in my bed before falling into a deep sleep.
Chapter 6
Stilettos is a packed house tonight, not much different than any other night, but I’m not into it. I sit behind the oak wooden desk in my closed office, twirling the straw around in my glass of whiskey that Dancer brought me. Condensation beads around the glass from the melting ice because I haven’t taken one pull from it. All I can think about is what I did last night: showing up at Sierra Greene’s house, threatening her the way I did, and scaring the piss outta her.
