by Lee Rose
She heard him say a few curses under his breath. “I am an old soldier with good days and bad days. My body and my mind have about a hundred years on you, baby girl. I wanted only the best for you and I figured a broken-down warrior was not it.”
Her throat felt thick with emotion and she couldn’t find her voice.
“I love everything about you. The way you enjoy life. The way you always have something to say. The way you genuinely smile and it reaches your eyes. You’re beautiful, Alicia. You keep me awake at night.” His voice was deep and throaty and it sent shivers all over her body. Holy hell, the man could turn her on just by talking.
“That was beautiful, Tony. I’m touched by your view of me. I don’t see myself that way.” She sighed. “I have been told that I can talk too much and can be too emotional. I have never had luck in the romance department and thought maybe I was lacking something. I’m not sweet as sugar like Alana and Holly. Jasmine is so strong and goes her own way. I act before I think.”
“I like listening to you talk, Alicia. Your impulsiveness brings me joy. Your happiness with life shows, and I am sorry if I took that away from you even for a moment,” he replied seriously. “The sound of your voice holds the loneliness at bay. Some nights I feel so alone, I want to scream. I hate being in crowds and you are like a social butterfly. I felt like I was holding you back. I saw you look at what your friends and sister have, and I wanted that for you. I didn’t want you being alone with a broken-down soldier as your only friend.”
Alicia felt the tears running down her cheek. He cared. He saw her like no one else did, not even her friends. She resisted the urge to break down and cry. “That is true. I envy them. What if I wanted you, Tony? What if I see a strong man who has big shoulders and a bigger heart? A man who took care of his brother even though he was probably scared as shit, too? A man who does what needs to be done for those around him, someone who is loyal and deserves love? Someone with scars because he fought for something bigger then himself. a need to protect and serve his country, no matter the cost to himself?
“That is who I see when I look at you. I see your loneliness and I understand it. I thought we clicked on a deep level. When I saw Dee all over you, all I saw was red. When I saw your hands on her skin, I felt violent and that scared the hell out of me. When I found out John cheated on me, my pride was bruised, but I did not feel the need to kill the girl.”
She heard nothing but silence for a minute. When he spoke, she could hear the tremble in his voice. “Damn, baby, you know how to make a grown man cry.”
She smiled. It would take time, but they would be okay eventually, hopefully as more than friends, but she wasn’t getting her hopes up. Hope was dangerous. After John, she had promised herself she would be cautious. “I think I can sleep now, Tony. I got a lot off my chest. Maybe we can be friends again after all this chaos dies down.”
“I’ve been wanting to come by and see you. I want to start over with a clean slate,” he told her. “We have been working around the clock trying to find out who did this to you and Janice. We have our suspicion, but we need proof.”
“You think it’s Novak?” She’d heard the name all summer, but she had never met him. Why would he want to hurt her? It didn’t make sense, but Alana had already confessed. Noah was sure it was him.
He stayed quiet and that gave her the answer.
“Night, Tony.” She pulled the cover over her neck, wondering if this Novak was the mystery man in her dreams.
“Sweet dreams,” he whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”
Alicia fell asleep dreaming of him. Thinking of her strong soldier kept the nightmares at bay.
Chapter Ten
Alicia sat with Jasmine at Second Hand Treasures. Jasmine’s aunt Kate had opened the store years ago. It was on the main strip, and only a block and a half from her family restaurant. Jasmine had helped her aunt make it popular when she moved to Red Hook.
Alicia sipped on water and sat on a stool. Light instrumental music played over the speakers. She was glad to be around her friends.
“Thanks for letting me hang with you today, Jazz,” Alicia said. “I didn’t want to be at the restaurant yet. I know I will be bombarded with questions I can’t answer. People are going to stare and want to hear the gory details. I know Mrs. Sands wants to know what happened to her daughter, but I just don’t know.”
“No problem. We’re happy to have the company.” Jasmine smiled from the window at the front of the store. She was dusting the objects in the huge display window that people saw when they walked by. It was a nice, cool autumn day. Halloween was around the corner and Jasmine had placed pumpkins and cheerful-looking scarecrows all over the store.
“I am so glad to see you on the mend, Alicia,” Kate added gently. Her gold-colored dress complimented her short brown hair. “What a terrible tragedy for the Sands family. I don’t know them well, but loss is never easy to deal with.”
“I barely knew Janice myself. She was fun to hang with, but we never had any meaningful conversations,” Alicia said sadly. Talking with Mrs. Sands had been hard. Alicia had been at a loss as to what to say for the first time in her life. She couldn’t even tell the grieving woman what happened to her daughter.
“Oh boy, the nerve of some people,” Jasmine muttered angrily.
Alicia looked up to see what was the matter with Jasmine. She spotted John Daniels heading toward the front door. His wavy brown hair was neatly combed back away from his face. He looked serious as he got closer. Her heart stopped for a moment and she waited for the pain or humiliation to come. Instead, she felt nothing looking at him. He was still handsome, but now she knew he had no substance inside. He was immature, despite being older than her, and he was self-centered. She sure had been blinded by his smooth lines. Now, her eyes were wide opened and all that was left was regret. He didn’t notice Jasmine standing in the window. He greeted Kate politely and then looked at Alicia. She saw his eyes check her out but she no longer felt giddy inside. She was tempted to roll her eyes.
“I wanted to see if you were okay.” He put his hands in his pockets as if he was nervous. He usually had a bold, confident manner about himself. “I went to the restaurant but Alana kicked me out. She can be scary.”
Alicia nodded at that statement. Her sister was a pit bull when it came to protecting her. “I’m getting better. Thanks for asking.”
She was proud of herself for sounding polite. The last time they spoke, she had been crying over the pain of finding out he had spent the night with another woman after he promised her he would not cheat on her again. She had felt like such a stupid idiot for giving him her virginity.
Jasmine got out of the front display window. She dusted off the emerald-green dress she was wearing. Her arm tattoo peeked from beneath her sleeve. Alicia loved that Jasmine was so willing to do what she liked, despite people’s opinions. She sported a silver piercing over her eyebrow, too, and wore it proudly.
John turned toward her with surprise. “Hey, Jasmine. I didn’t see you back there.”
Jasmine didn’t smile at him. She went and stood by Alicia with her arms folded across her chest. Alicia wanted to smile. Jasmine would throw his ass out in a heartbeat. She hated John for what he did to Alicia.
John looked at Alicia’s face and her arm sling. She felt slightly self-conscious but schooled her features to remain calm. He didn’t look very sad when he spoke about Janice. “I was sorry to hear you got hurt, and Janice’s death is a tragedy.”
“Did you know her?” Alicia wondered. Janice was exactly his type, wild and free with her favors.
He shrugged. “She came in the bar a few times with dates. Mostly, she hung out in Morehead.”
Alicia nodded. “Yes, that’s where we’ve been going lately.”
“And the billiard hall. We love it there,” Jasmine stated, giving him the evil eye. None of Alicia’s family and friends would go to his place out of loyalty to Alicia. He knew it, too. Ray had been vocal in h
is dislike for John. So had Noah, Adam, and Liam. He had lost a lot of good customers and he knew it.
John looked angry for a moment, but then he wiped it from his face and replaced it with a polite look. “So I’ve heard. I heard you couldn’t remember anything that happened to you. Is that true?”
Alicia nodded. Her bandage on her forehead had been removed, but she had a large cut that was visible. Many people had looked like they didn’t believe she had really lost her memory. Why would she make that up? She wanted to remember, but she always got a headache, like now. “I guess I hit my head too hard. It might come back to me. It might not.”
Jasmine looked out the window and smiled with glee. “Must be the day for visitors. Here comes our good friend Tony.”
Alicia saw Tony crossing the street and heading toward the store. He was in uniform and he looked good. Alicia felt her body heat up as she became excited. She couldn’t help but smile as she remembered their conversation last night. John looked angry again when he noticed her looking at Tony, but she was not going to hide how she felt about Tony. She was in love with Tony and she was not sure it would ever go away. Their talk last night had helped her to let go of a lot of her anger and hurt feelings. She was feeling hopeful again.
“I better go. I’m expecting a delivery. I’ll see you around, Alicia,” John told her awkwardly as the bell above the door jingled. Alicia gave him a polite smile. She didn’t like John at all and he knew it. She had been blunt with him. Why he had come, she had no idea.
The two men passed each other. Alicia saw the hard glare Tony gave John and was happy when John walked faster out the door. Tony knew all about what John had done to her. She had cried on his shoulder many times.
“Tony. What a surprise.” Alicia could hear the genuine affection in Jasmine’s voice. She was close to both brothers and spent a lot of time with them. Alicia envied her closeness to Tony. She’d thought she was finally beginning to make a dent in his armor. Then she spotted him with Dee and it had taken her by surprise. It had devastated her.
Alicia fixed her hair quickly when Tony gave Jasmine a hug, then Kate. Her hair was clean and brushed, at least. She hated wearing loose sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. There was no point in putting on make-up since her cheek was swollen and yellow from the fading bruises.
“So, did you come to visit me? How sweet.” Jasmine teased him.
Kate laughed at her niece. “Quit giving Tony a hard time, darling. I bet he is here to check up on Alicia.”
Tony agreed with Kate and walked up to Alicia. He looked at her fading bruises. He carefully brushed her bangs out of the way. “How are you this morning?”
Alicia smiled gently. She wished they were alone so she could tell him she only dreamed of him after they spoke last night. “I’m good. I slept well.”
He smiled with satisfaction at that statement. He knew what she was saying.
“What are you girls up to?” he asked, looking around the store. It was early and there were no customers yet.
“Looking at bridal magazines. Want to join us?” Jasmine asked with an innocent smile. She loved teasing him because he always looked so serious. “We were about to look at white frilly dresses and tuxedos. You can help us vote.”
Tony groaned. “I’d rather be held over hot coals.”
“You do know you have to wear a tuxedo for my wedding. You are giving me away,” Jasmine reminded him.
“Fine. Pick one out for me and I will wear it,” he mumbled, looking resigned. He turned back to Alicia. “So what was John doing here? Was he bothering you? I’d be glad to have a talk with him.”
“He was just being nosey,” Alicia replied, wishing she could tell if Tony was jealous. Maybe they should set up John and Dee, she thought evilly.
He grunted but dropped the subject. “You feeling okay? No pain?”
“The wonder of pain pills,” Alicia informed him. “I miss working, though. Any idea who shot at me?”
“Lots of guesses and no proof,” Tony said, standing close to her stool. He was tall that so she had to look up at him. She could smell his cologne. It reminded her of fresh soap and rain. “Noah is giving it his all, though. He is working with Green County’s and Morehead’s sheriffs. We’ll figure it out. Your job is to get better.”
“I know you all will find him. I just hope it’s soon.” Alicia sighed. “Janice deserves justice. I dread the thought of facing all of her family at the funeral. Her mom has already grilled me, wanting details. I told her I couldn’t remember. She looked at me as if I was lying.”
Tony patted her shoulder gently. “Just don’t go to the funeral. Your family is going. They can say you are still not well.”
“I agree,” Jasmine said fiercely. “You don’t need to deal with all that emotional trauma while you are so vulnerable. You shouldn’t have to go if it upsets you, Alicia.”
“I’ll think about it. I feel guilty. I was with her last. I should remember something,” she explained sadly. Every time she thought about Janice and that night, her head hurt. She rubbed her forehead. Just when she thought she had a handle on it, pain would shoot through her head.
“Don’t worry about it,” Tony suggested, looking concerned, rubbing her shoulder softly. “I have to get back to work. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to have dinner with us tonight.”
Alicia smiled. All of a sudden, she felt so warm inside. What was the point of pretending she didn’t want to be around him when she did? She was too weak to resist his invitation. Her head was telling her to play hard to get, but she wanted Tony to feel more than friendship for her. Being his friend was a good start. “That sounds nice. I’d love to.”
“Want to join us, Jazz?” he asked.
Jasmine shook her head. “Kate and I are going out with Eva.” Eva was Drake’s only sister. “Have fun, Alicia. Relax and forget about everything for a few hours. Your memories will come back on their own.”
“I will pick you up at five-thirty.” Tony smiled and said his good-byes.
“I think he likes you,” Kate said when he was gone. “I saw that look in his eyes, even though he was trying to play it cool. I have never seen him look so interested in anyone. Usually he is so cool.”
“Really?” Alicia brightened up at the idea. Then she sighed and pouted. “I’m afraid to get my hopes up. Do you know Dee Andrews? He was involved with her just a few weeks ago.”
“He was running scared, Alicia. I don’t know Dee personally, but Drake says she has turned into a nuisance. She showed up at the station a few weeks ago and he had Helen kick her out. That doesn’t sound like he likes her to me,” Jasmine said with confidence. “Those Smith boys have plenty of muscles, but when it comes to emotional stuff they are big babies. Look how Matt ran from Holly for a year.”
“True,” Alicia agreed, thinking of the heartbreak had Holly experienced at the hand of Matt Smith. He made it up to her by being a wonderful and caring husband now. That gave Alicia hope.
Tony stayed on her mind all day. She went home and looked for a loose-fitting dress she could wear. She wanted to look good, even though she felt horrible, physically and emotionally. Boy, she was in big trouble again. If she took the risk of opening her heart, would he trample on it or be gentle?
* * * *
The long dirt road to his house was pretty, despite the cloudy and gray day. Autumn brought slightly cooler temperatures and she had the window rolled down partially. The breeze smelled good and huge trees lined the road.
“You don’t have any neighbors nearby,” she observed, looking out the window. It looked peaceful, but she was so used to living in town with the noise and the traffic. This was a huge change. How did Holly get used to it?
“Yeah. I doubt they’d like all the land mines surrounding our land,” he said seriously, keeping his eyes on the road ahead of him.
Alicia looked at him with a horrified expression. “You can’t just blow up people who wander on your land. That is illegal.”
“S
ure I can.” He shrugged carefully. He grinned when her mouth hung open and she didn’t know what to say. “Relax, Noah advised me against doing that.”
She exhaled loudly. “I believed you for a minute or two. You are bad for teasing me like that.”
He chuckled lightly. “Made you forget about your problems for a few seconds.”
His house was large and the brown color blended into the surrounding wooded area. The porch was as long as the house. A few rocking chairs were placed along one area. It looked so calming.
“Nice. I love that huge porch,” Alicia exclaimed when he parked. Colorful flowered baskets hung from a few hooks and she had the feeling that was Holly’s touch. Holly loved flowers.
“Thanks. Matt and I remodeled when we bought it. We bought a lot of the land around, too. Our closest neighbor is about a mile up the road,” he explained. “It was pretty rundown. We wanted the physical labor to keep us busy until we knew what we wanted to do. Then Noah hired us.”
Alicia waited for him to help her out of his truck. She had to jump, but he put his hands gently at her waist and let her slide down his body until her feet were on the ground. The feel of his hard body against her made certain parts of her tingle with awareness. She felt his bulge beneath his jeans and smiled up at him. She hoped her cheeks were not pink. It was dusk, so the maybe he wouldn’t notice.
The wonderful aroma of dinner hit her as soon as Tony opened the front wooden door. Holly greeted them and gave Alicia a light hug, careful of all her bruises. “I am so glad you came. Join me in the kitchen?”
Alicia helped Holly set the table while Holly talked about work. She thought she would feel awkward being in Tony’s house. She had wondered so many times what his house looked like, but he’d never invited her over before. It was open and light. She liked it a lot.
