Rebecca’s soft voice penetrated Bella’s thoughts. “Don’t you think Philip deserves love?”
She stood. “Rebecca, we’ve talked about this. He is in no rush to fall in love any more than I am.”
“Everyone wants to fall in love, Bella.” Rebecca stood also. She dusted the back of her skirt before retracing their steps.
Bella felt a harsh laugh bubble up as she fell into step beside her future mother-in-law. “Only those who have never tasted love or who have gotten away unscathed by its cruelty.”
Rebecca stopped and turned to face Bella. “It’s obvious you’ve been hurt, but as far as I know, Philip has never been in love. He’s never been hurt by it. Will you be the first by not returning his love, should he fall in love with you someday? I only want what is best for my son, so please just think about it before you actually get married.” She searched Bella’s eyes, then turned away.
Bella fell behind her. Was it possible Philip would fall in love with her? If he did, would her not returning his affections hurt him? He’d been the one to suggest a marriage of convenience. Was she doing the wrong thing by marrying him?
* * *
The next morning, Bella still didn’t have any answers. She knew she had to consider Caleb and Mark, but she also worried that she’d be doing Philip an injustice by marrying him.
All day, she worried about what to do. Rebecca had said there were always choices, but Bella couldn’t see them.
She felt Philip watching her and looked up. He studied her face as if he was trying to read her mind across the kitchen table. The Young and Armstrong families were eating dinner. They were a noisy bunch and none of them seemed to be paying attention to Bella and Philip.
They’d said less than ten words to each other during the day. Bella had been busy with the women, cooking, cleaning and planning their wedding. Philip had been with his brothers and his stepfather, Seth.
This wasn’t the first time she’d felt his eyes upon her after her talk with Rebecca. Had he known what his mother was going to say to her? Did he read the doubt on her face regarding their upcoming wedding?
She lowered her head and continued eating. Pot roast and potatoes left a dry taste in her mouth. Bella made the decision to talk to Philip again about getting married.
If he had changed his mind, she wanted to give him the option of calling it off. Would he? And if he did, where would that leave her and the boys? Bella silently prayed that God would take control because at this moment she felt as if she had none.
* * *
During the few days that Philip had known Bella, he’d learned that she was quiet. But he sensed there was more to her quietness today than before. She’d seemed upset when she and Rebecca had returned from their walk last night.
Now that tonight’s meal was complete and the dishes were cleaned, he searched out his future bride. Philip found her in the kitchen standing by the stove. He walked to her and laced his fingers around hers. “Bella, I’d like to have a private word with you.”
She nodded and laid the towel in her other hand on the counter.
Philip looked to Fay. She rocked in her rocker by the fireplace. The younger children all played at her feet. “Would you mind keeping an eye on the boys for a few minutes? We won’t be gone long.”
“I’d be happy to watch them,” Fay replied.
He smiled his thanks and then pulled Bella toward the front door. Philip noticed the frown on his mother’s face. She’d been quiet since her and Bella’s walk also. What was wrong with her? Rebecca had always been warm and loving to the strays who crossed her doorway. Why was she acting so different with Bella?
After putting on their coats, they stepped out onto the porch. Philip indicated Bella sit down in one of the chairs that faced the front yard.
Bella did as he indicated.
He leaned against the porch rail and studied her, then asked, “What is bothering you? Is it something Ma said?”
Soft words burst from her lips. “I’m not sure we should get married.”
Philip had half expected her to say just that. “Why not?”
Bella stood to face him. Her blue eyes looked deep into his. “Look, I’ve been in love. You haven’t. I don’t want to be the cause of you not finding true love.”
He took her hand in his once more and pulled her closer to him. “We’ve been through this. I’ve explained that I have no intention of falling in love and why.”
“I know, but...”
Philip pulled her even closer. “No buts. I don’t want to fall in love, you said you don’t want to fall in love. Have you changed your mind about that?”
She shook her head.
“Then there is no problem. We are getting married for the boys’ sake. Just because we aren’t going to fall in love doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and talk about things. Especially when it is of this importance. Agreed?”
She took a step even closer. “Agreed.”
The sweet scent of vanilla wafted toward him and he grinned. Impulsively, Philip bent his head and smelled the side of her neck. He murmured against her neck, “Did you let Joy dab you with vanilla?”
Bella nodded. Her hair tickled his face.
Philip pulled away. What was he doing? He grinned down at her. “I thought so.” His little sister loved the scent of vanilla and used it like perfume.
They were standing so close that Philip felt her shiver. “I suppose we should go back inside.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Do you still want to marry me, Bella?”
“As long as you are sure this is what you want,” she answered.
He kissed her forehead. “I do.”
She shivered again.
A giggle sounded to his right. He looked up and saw four small faces in the window. Then he heard his little sister announce to the room, “They’re kissing.”
Philip groaned. “We’d best get back inside.” As he followed her in, Philip admitted to himself that he’d like to have stayed outside a little longer with Bella. He tried to convince himself that it was to assure her that he wanted to marry her, but the truth was, he enjoyed holding her in his arms and watching her cheeks turn a pretty pink.
Chapter Seven
The next day, he was still thinking about Bella’s pink cheeks when he pulled his horse to a stop in front of the relay station he shared with Thomas and his new wife, Josephine. He dismounted but left the horse tied to the porch.
Josephine and their closest neighbor, Hazel, were sitting at the kitchen table peeling potatoes. They looked up as he came through the door.
His sister-in-law’s mouth pulled into a big smile. “It’s about time you got home. I was beginning to really worry about you.”
Philip shut the door and hung his coat on a peg. “I was delayed by my future bride.” He’d walked halfway across the room when the door opened again and Thomas entered.
Hazel demanded, “What future bride?”
Over the past year, Hazel had become motherly toward the two young men. Then when Josephine had arrived a few months earlier, Hazel had treated her as family, too. Hazel didn’t hesitate to ask her question.
Philip turned and stared at his brother. “It seems I’ve posted a mail-order-bride ad in Colorado and Bella Wilson felt the need to answer it by arriving by stage out at the Turnstone relay station.” He had the satisfaction of watching Thomas’s face pale.
“Um, Bella Wilson?” Thomas ran his hand through his hair and looked over Philip’s shoulder at Josephine.
Philip turned in time to see her shrug her shoulders.
“Don’t look at me. I’ve never heard of her,” Josephine said before studying the wood pattern on the table.
Hazel frowned. “I thought I told you two to answer each and every letter and apologize for misleading those
young ladies.” She looked between Thomas and Josephine.
Thomas walked around Philip. He headed to the coffeepot. “We did.”
Philip followed him. “Well, Bella didn’t write a letter. She simply came, much like Josephine did.”
Shock filled Josephine’s voice. “She’s a Pony Express rider, too?”
Hazel laughed. “Here I thought you were the only woman gutsy enough to pull a stunt like that.” She held out her cup for Thomas to refill.
“No, she arrived by stage but didn’t have enough money to continue on to Dove Creek. John got a kick out of sending me into the house for my special delivery packages.”
The other three people in the room stared at him with open mouths. Finally, Josephine spoke. “Did you say packages? As in more than one?”
Philip took a cup down from the cupboard. “Oh, did I forget to mention that she has two children in her care, too?”
Thomas raked his hand through his hair. His face looked miserable.
Josephine’s eyes grew big in her heart-shaped face.
Hazel whistled low and muttered, “Two children.”
Philip took a sip from his warm coffee. It felt good to make them squirm a little. Josephine’s gaze sought out her husband’s.
Thomas finally found his voice. “How old are they?”
“Four and six,” Philip answered.
Josephine gasped. “I can’t imagine being all alone with a four-year-old and a six-year-old. The trip out here must have been so hard.” Regret filled her voice.
Hazel shook her head. “Boys or girls?”
Philip walked over to the table and sat down. “Boys. Caleb and Mark. They are nice enough little boys. I believe I’ll adopt them after the wedding.”
Thomas pulled out a chair. “So you are going to marry her?”
“She has no other place to go and I can’t let those young’uns go into an orphanage because their aunt can’t take care of them.” Philip palmed the cup in his hand, rolling it back and forth as he looked at each person sitting at the table.
Hazel finally snapped. “Philip Young, you stop feeding us a smidgen at a time and tell the whole story. Is Bella their mother or aunt?” she demanded.
He laughed and then told them everything that he knew about Bella and the boys. He finished with “They are staying out at Ma’s until the wedding day.”
Thomas nodded. “And when is the big day?”
“Day after tomorrow. I’m going to sleep now and head back sometime tomorrow. By now, Bella is overwhelmed with our rather large family.” He pushed back his chair and yawned.
“Can just anybody come to this wedding?” Hazel asked with a grump. “Or do they have to have a special invitation?”
Philip walked around the table and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “It wouldn’t be the perfect wedding without you there, Hazel. I expect you to come with me.”
A flush filled her cheeks. “Well, if you insist.”
Josephine laughed and shook her head. “Go to bed, Philip. Hazel and I have to decide what we’re going to wear.”
“If we all go, who’s going to man the relay station?” Thomas asked.
“Looks like you are going to miss the wedding of the season.” Philip turned toward his bedroom. “Serves you right, too.”
“You don’t like shindigs anyway,” Hazel reminded Thomas, picking up her cup and heading to the washtub with it.
“No, but I love Ma’s cakes.”
Philip laughed. “I’ll eat an extra piece for you. If the boys don’t eat it all up.” He closed the door to his bedroom and leaned against it.
Would this be the wedding of the season like he’d told Thomas? Or was it all just a mockery of what a marriage should be? He walked to the bed and sat down.
His worn Bible lay on the side table. Philip picked it up. Lord, I hope I’m doing the right thing by Bella and the boys. He leaned back on the pillows and opened it up. Maybe he’d find the answer between the pages.
* * *
Bella put her face in her hands. She wasn’t sure how much more pampering she could take. The outhouse probably wasn’t the best place to get her thoughts together, but it was the only place she could be alone, away from all the questions and prying eyes.
Philip had been gone since early yesterday and during that time she’d met most of his brothers and his stepfather, and had been bombarded with wedding plans. Rebecca, Fay and their close friend Emma, who had come to the family as a slave to another couple, thankfully the Young men had made it possible for her to have freedom now. Each lady had their idea of what Bella’s wedding should look like. The barn was decorated with white streamers and wooden planks stretched across barrels for seating. Pine branches hung from the rafters and the scent of their needles filled the barn, covering up the animal smells that normally lingered there. The added greenery and yellow ribbons tied to them gave the barn a fresh look.
What Bella had thought would be a simple wedding with family had turned into a town wedding. People from all over had been invited. Rebecca had sent Seth and Andrew into the general store with an open invitation flyer that was hung by the register. Already neighboring wives had arrived asking what foods they could bring. It was going to be a spectacle.
She raised her head. Well, it was more for show than actually a love commitment. What difference did it make if everyone showed up and had fun? Bella shook her head. To her it meant mingling with folks she didn’t know. She’d never liked large crowds and now here she was stuck with the biggest event of her life.
“Bella? Are you all right?” Emma asked through the door.
She lied. “Fine.” Bella liked Emma, even more so after she heard how Emma had been kept as a slave by an older couple and then the Young family saved her by purchasing her from her masters. They’d given Emma her freedom, but she’d stayed with them and become a part of the family. Bella suspected that the main reason Emma stayed was because she was in love with Andrew.
Emma’s shadow blocked out a little of the sunshine as she leaned against the door. “The Youngs can be a little overwhelming. I guess we all can.” She sighed heavily. “I hope you understand that we are trying to help and that we are excited to have you become a part of the Young family.” The last part was said wistfully.
Bella straightened. “I know. I just needed some fresh air.”
Emma giggled. “So you chose the outhouse?” She moved away from the door. “I think I could have found a better place.”
Bella opened the door with a grin. “Yeah, probably not my best choice of the day.”
“No, maybe not. Come with me.” Emma headed down a small path away from the outhouse.
“Where are we going?”
“To a quiet place where you can think.” Emma stopped in a small grove of trees.
Bella was surprised to see a small wooden bench sitting under one of the trees. “I didn’t expect this,” she said in awe.
Emma smiled. “Have you always been shy?”
She could deny it, but seeing how she already had one lie to repent for, Bella chose to nod. “It’s worse when there are lots of people around.”
Emma smiled. “And you are going to marry the prankster of the family. Not a shy bone in his body.”
“Afraid so.” Bella sat down.
Emma nodded. “I thought so. When we get back, I’ll speak to Rebecca and Fay. Between the three of us, we’ll help you get through this wedding.”
A bird landed on a branch over their heads. He sang for a moment and then took flight once more. Bella wished she could fly away like the little bird, but she knew that she had to get through this. The boys were depending on her. “Thank you. I think I’m better now. We can go back.”
Emma stood. “I’m glad you feel better. This spot always makes me feel good.
” She glanced around with love in her eyes.
“Did Andrew put the bench here for you?” Bella asked, standing also.
“He did.”
Bella smiled. “I thought so.”
Emma looked everywhere but at Bella. “What made you think that? It could have been any of the boys.”
It was Bella’s turn to giggle. “Yes, but Andrew is the one who is sweet on you. So it made sense he would do something special like this for you.”
Emma grinned. “I don’t know that he is sweet on me, but he is very kind and understanding.” She started walking back up the path that led to the house. “We’d better hurry. Fay and Rebecca are waiting to fit your wedding dress.”
Bella groaned. The thought of spending more time being stuck with pins and told to stand up tall made her want to run back to the outhouse.
As if she could read her mind, Emma teased, “Don’t even think about going back to the outhouse.”
Bella discovered that the afternoon hadn’t been so bad after all. The three women worked on her dress while the children played outside. The men went about their chores and things seemed to settle down a bit. Perhaps it was because Emma had pulled the other two ladies aside and explained Bella’s feelings.
As soon as the dress was complete, the four women began to make dinner. The beans had been on the stove most of the day and the roast in the oven, so all they had to do was make the potatoes and other vegetables. Joy loved making cookies. She and Emma had made a fresh batch that morning, so even dessert was prepared.
Bella found herself looking up the road for Philip’s return. He’d gone to tell his brother and sister-in-law that they were getting married. If he didn’t hurry back, he was going to miss his own wedding.
Anxiety hit her like a punch in the stomach. Had he left for good? Was he planning on coming back? Bella told herself she was being ridiculous, but the sudden fear was very real. She hated being this dependent on another person. Maybe she should talk to Philip about getting a job in town, once they were married. Would he go for such a thing? Or would he want his wife to stay home and pretend that theirs was a real marriage?
Pony Express Mail-Order Bride Page 5
