by Linda Mooney
“Trust me. Things are a lot more complicated from where I’m sitting,” he told her.
She could hear his frustration. And something more. Loneliness. Sadness. Bitterness.
They remained quiet the rest of the way to the station. Kiel removed his arm, to her disappointment. Then, to her shock, he took one of her hands and laced his fingers through hers, leaving their hands to rest on the seat between them. Somehow she managed to hide the smile.
When the car finally slowed, turning and dipping into the station’s parking lot, Kiel spoke up again. “Miss Laurent, if I might ask a favor of you?”
She tilted her face to let him know she was listening.
“My, uhh, circumstances are not known by anyone other than Sam. Please, I’m asking if you would keep it to yourself about what you’ve learned about me.”
“How long have you been like this?”
“A month. It’s a long story.”
“And one I am eager to hear,” she told him. “Your full story for my silence. That’s my price.” She could hear his smile.
“It’s a deal.”
When Sam stopped the car, J allowed Kiel to help her out of the back. He released her hand, taking her elbow instead to lead the way.
“Watch your step up.”
“You’ve done this before?” she murmured in his direction. “Escorted the blind?”
“No, ma’am. You’re my first.”
“I appreciate the help.”
Sam led the way until they reached the inner offices. From there they went straight to the captain’s office.
“Sir? This is Miss Laurent,” Sam introduced her.
Captain Redd got to his feet and stuck out a hand. “Glad to have you come down to the station, Miss uhh…”
J paused, tilting her head in his direction. “You stuck out your hand, didn’t you?” she asked him. The man was tall. She could tell from where his voice emanated above her head. “Forgive the awkwardness, Captain.” Holding out her hand, she waited for the man to take it.
“Oh, Jesus. You’re…”
“Blind. Yes, sir. All my life.” Quickly she shook her head, hoping to get over this patch as smoothly as possible. “Detective Stark, is there a chair nearby?”
Instead of answering, Kiel brought a chair over to her, gently bumping the seat against the back of her legs to let her know it was there. J carefully sat down, noting that the two detectives remained standing.
The captain cleared his throat. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, Captain. I’m here to help, so let’s get on with it.”
“We picked up Miss Laurent and took her over to the crime scene,” Sam told the man. He continued to explain what had happened as J half-listened to the retelling.
In the background she could sense another person. His aura was calm and reserved. Nonthreatening. Kiel was to her left, letting his brother go over the details. She knew that if she turned her head in his direction he would be glowing like an immense bonfire. The man was throwing off heat and light more strongly than anything she had ever encountered before in her life.
But there was something else. Something she couldn’t define or explain. Because for some incredible reason he had managed to awaken a part of her that had been lying dormant for over a decade. And that realization terrified her.
When Sam got to the part where she had blacked out, Captain Redd turned to face her. “Are you all right now, Miss Laurent?”
“I’m fine. Is there someone you can bring in to take notes while I debrief?”
It didn’t take long for an assistant to bring them a tape recorder. J knew that once she was finished, everything would be transcribed and copies faxed to the other station houses in the city. J licked her lips and tried to calm herself, when she felt a paper cup being pressed against the fingers of one hand. Flashing Kiel a grateful smile, she took a sip of the cool water.
Slowly she explained in detail what she had seen. What she had witnessed as a sort of third entity, watching from a distance, unable to do anything to help except to see the horror as it occurred. Only what she had seen hadn’t been everything. She wasn’t able to tell them all they needed know, as though she had been sitting through a movie or listening to an opera. What she saw was very disjointed, as if someone had taken a mirror and shattered it, then performed those atrocities in front of it. She couldn’t see it all, but she had viewed enough in the broken pieces to burn the images in her mind. They were enough to make her feel unclean. Enough to give her nightmares for the next week.
This was one case where J knew she would be glad when her part was over. That way she could take a deep, cleansing mental breath, and hope it wouldn’t take too long for her to forget the worst of it.
After she was done, she drained the paper cup and sat back in the chair. All grew quiet. The tape recorder whirred softly.
Captain Redd moved in his seat, making the leather upholstery squeak. “All right. So at least we have some idea what kind of weapon we’re looking for, which is more than we had in the first place. We also know it was done by one assailant.”
J waited to hear either Sam or Kiel make a comment about the fact that she had claimed the killer was dead, but they remained silent. Apparently they were willing to keep mum for her sake, to prove that trust ran both ways.
“What next, Miss Laurent?”
“I need to see the other crime scene where the first two bodies were killed,” she announced. “I also want to see the victims, or what’s left of them.”
“Any particular reason why?” the captain inquired.
J shrugged. “I can’t explain how my gift works. But I’ve discovered that the closer I get, and the longer I’m around things pertaining to a case, the more I seem to glean.” She shrugged again. “Sorry I can’t be more explicit.”
“Very well. I understand, I think. Reese, you and Stark take Miss Laurent where she needs to go, and keep me posted.”
“Yes, sir,” Sam replied.
Before she knew it, they were back outside in the parking lot and heading for the car. Abruptly she stopped, holding out her arms to steady herself. Kiel was instantly there, taking both her hands in his. The contact poured a symphony of sound into her soul, the music resounding and full of promise. There was no way she could stop the tears from filling her eyes. Had her life always been this empty? Oh, dearest heavens, what was this man doing to her?
“What’s wrong?” a voice beside her demanded.
She opened her mouth and tried to respond, when Kiel replied, “She needs to rest a bit more. Isn’t that right, Miss Laurent?”
“It’s after noon. What do you say we have a bite to eat before going any further?” Sam suggested.
Eat? With all this putrid garbage floating around inside her subconscious? But J knew he was right. She needed to feed her body, then will the food to stay down. Giving a slight nod, she got into the backseat. Disappointment shrouded her when Kiel took the passenger seat in front.
Digging her nails into her palms, she tried to calm herself. Reason with herself. Once she got home she would take one of those little pills Dr. Milester prescribed for her, and then she would be able to sort out this whole mental and emotional mess she was starting to drown in. Otherwise, there was no telling what kind of wreck she would be tomorrow morning.
“What does the J stand for?”
J grinned into her glass of water. They were at a small diner she had never visited, but whatever was cooking in the kitchen had made her stomach rumble the moment they’d come through the door. Kiel led her to a booth, but had taken his seat opposite, next to his brother. Not knowing the menu, she’d asked for a simple BLT with water when the waitress came to take their order.
“Why do you ask? Lots of people use an initial as part of their name. Like TJ or GW.”
Sitting in front of the men, and able to see them both side-by-side, she was surprised to see the difference in their auras. Dead people didn’t have
an aura. They had an emptiness devoid of color or light surrounding them. An emptiness that was still detectable, like a gaping hole waiting to swallow them. That was how she knew they were dead. She knew that from experience. But Kiel was a totally different entity. Sam’s aura was strong, literally flaring in huge, dark purple arcs over his head. Yet the man next to him made him seem pale in comparison.
There was a glass of water in front of him. He hadn’t ordered anything to eat, which hadn’t surprised her. Occasionally he would lift the glass to his mouth as if to take a drink, in an attempt to keep up appearances.
“Let me guess. If I guess correctly, will you admit it?”
“Go ahead, Rumplestiltskin. Do your worst.”
“Janet. Jane. Julie. JoBeth. Janice.” He grinned to where she could hear the chuckle in his voice. “Janine? Juliet? Oh, I know! Jezebel!”
Giggling, J leaned back against the cool seat back. “Enough, Detective. Let’s call a halt for now.”
“For now,” Sam wryly commented over his cup of coffee. “You don’t know how persistent my brother can be when he sets his mind to something.” There was a slight pause, then he continued in a more cautious tone. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“What’s a girl like me doing the kind of stuff I do?”
“Well, if you want to put it that way, yeah. Have you always had the ability to see this kind of stuff before?”
“Kinda, I think.” She took another sip of water to calm herself. “My mother quit teaching after my parents discovered I was blind. They were in their forties when I was born. They had pretty much accepted the fact that they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own, so they adopted a little boy. He was two when they got him. And then, boom. Mommy found out she was pregnant with me.” She smiled. “Like they say, a sure way to make it rain is to wash your car. And a sure way to have kids is to adopt one. Anyway, from as early as I can remember I saw things. Not always unpleasant stuff, but most of it was. Like the time our cat darted out into the road and got hit by a car. I remember screaming and crying, and Douggie trying to get me to hush.”
“Douggie?” Kiel asked.
“My brother. My parents named him Douglas. Anyway, my mother came running out of the house to see why I was making such a fuss. They tried to tell me Snickers was okay. The next day Snickers ran into the street and was hit by a car, exactly as I had told them. After that, I didn’t see things often, but when I did, I always told Mommy.” She sipped at her water again. During the lull their food arrived. She wasn’t prepared to be as hungry as she was when she took her first bite.
They quietly ate for a few minutes, until Kiel gently asked, “Where are your parents now?”
“They’re dead. So is Douggie.” Wiping her mouth, she laid her sandwich back on the plate. It still hurt to talk about the accident, even twenty years later. “We were taking Douggie to summer camp. I didn’t want to go. I kept telling them there was a big truck that was going to hurt us if we went, but Mommy and Daddy told me everything was going to be all right. They made me go with them, even when I kicked and screamed and begged for them not to go. Not to take me. After they buckled me into my seat, I still fought them. Once we were on our way, I undid my seat belt and got down on the floorboard, and huddled up into a little ball.” She stopped to take a shaky breath.
“J, if you don’t want—” Kiel began.
“No. It’s okay.” She took another deep breath. “It was a cement mixer. It ran a red light and struck Mommy’s side of the car, where Mommy and Douggie were sitting. All of my family died that day. I got banged up pretty badly, but I survived because I’d hidden on the floorboard behind Daddy’s seat.”
“How old were you?” Sam asked.
“Six. Grandmama was in her late sixties, but she was my only living relative. She took me in to raise me.” A soft snort. “Of course, the last ten years of her life I took care of her more than she did me.”
“Is that old house your grandmother’s?”
“Yeah. It’s mine now. Between the settlement I got from the cement company, which she put in a trust for me until I turned twenty-one, and both inheritances, I’ve been very lucky not to have to find work to support myself. I’m not rich, by any means. I still have to watch every penny. But I don’t need a lot of frivolous extras like big-screen televisions or designer clothes.” She gave them a small smile at the joke.
“When did your grandmother die?” It was Sam again. Kiel was being unusually quiet, unless that was normal for him.
“Five years ago. Taking care of her in her last years was like a full-time job.”
“And this gift of yours?”
She gave a half-hearted shrug. “It grew. It got stronger and clearer. Either that, or I learned how to interpret it better. Anyway, after Grandmama died, I grew more aware of things. Of the world. I listen to the news almost constantly. Every now and then Miss Cassie brings me a movie to listen to.”
“You listen to movies?” It was Kiel, finally breaking his long silence.
She flashed him a smile. “Yeah. The school for the blind has a library where I can check out books and tapes. They have a special selection of movies that the studios put out especially for the blind. There’s a narration in the soundtrack that tells you what’s going on on the screen, to keep you posted.”
“Who’s Miss Cassie?”
“She’s the lady I hired when Grandmama got sick. She comes by the house every day and does a little cleaning. Sometimes she’ll cook me lunch. Do a bit of straightening. Some laundry. She reads me my mail. Helps me pay the bills.”
“Geez, and you trust her not to rob you blind?” Sam exclaimed.
J gave him a hard stare. “Yes, I trust her,” she told him coolly. “But I also call the bank on occasion to check my accounts. Everything she tells me is the truth. When you’re in my position, Detective, sometimes you can’t help but trust, and pray it works out.”
“What got you started working with the authorities?” Kiel softly asked.
She picked up a french fry to nibble. “Sometimes I’d hear something on the news about a killing, and I’d get a flash on it. Grandmama wouldn’t let me call anyone about it. She told me a lot of people would ridicule me, if not downright disbelieve me. But after she died, I kept wanting to go to the phone and call the police. I felt like I had to, like I was obligated to, but I held back.” J took a sip of water. “I finally broke down and called the tip line after the news told about that little boy who was found over in Ammiston.”
“You mean the Tillot case?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. That one.”
“It was you who gave the police what they were needing to convict Maguire?”
“Yeah. I told them where they could find the gloves and stuff he’d hidden after he’d dumped that child’s body.” A cold shudder ran through her. She’d thought she’d purged herself of that mess. She was wrong. But at least it wasn’t as strong as it had been back then, back when the news was all over the papers and television, and the images were as stark as fresh blood.
“What made you stop using the tip line and come out in the open?”
It was honest concern she heard in Kiel’s voice. The sound of it touched her. “The Milkman murders. I was getting flashes I couldn’t connect together. I finally realized I had to get closer to the evidence before anything made sense to me. That’s when I called the police and told them who I was and what I could do.” She laughed softly, pausing as the waitress came up to give them their bill.
“Bet that went over like a limp rag,” Sam remarked drily.
She giggled. “Oh, yeah, until I started giving them some solid facts they could chase down. Twenty-four hours later, they had their man. Since then I’ve helped whenever they’ve called on me, but on my terms. You’re only the third set of detectives I’ve worked with. There’s a pair assigned to me from each division, and they’re exclusively for me. If anything ever comes up where Captain Redd needs my help again, it’ll be you t
wo who I’ll work with.”
“That may soon change.”
She looked to Kiel. Suddenly she understood what he was saying. “When are you going to tell me your story?”
“When I’m ready,” he promised.
She had the nagging feeling it may not be as soon as she’d like.
“Are you done?”
“Yeah.”
Sam paid their bill as Kiel walked her to the car parked outside. Opening the door for her, he stepped to the side, giving her the chance to pause for a moment. “Kiel?”
She sensed his startle.
“What?”
“I can see a lot of things about you. You’re not like other dead people I’ve seen in the past.”
He chuckled, truly amused. “No kidding.”
“No,” she persisted, wanting him to understand what she was trying to say. “You’re in a holding pattern of sorts. I can’t figure it out right now, but when I do, do you want me to let you know?”
“Yeah, I do. Maybe it’ll make some sense of this whole ordeal. But if it doesn’t, it won’t be your fault. Watch your feet.”
She climbed into the backseat, letting him close the door after her. This time, however, she sat directly behind him so she could see his glow rising above the headrest like a dawning sun. The warmth of his spirit was already seeping into her, cupping her heart and soul with careful hands. Without him saying the words, she knew she would be seeing more of Detective Kiel Stark even after this case was over.
That knowledge alone would help her through the ordeal of the next few hours.
By four o’clock she was ready to call it a day. Not only was she mentally wrung out, but her emotional stability had suffered enough spikes in it to keep her running on adrenalin alone for a month.
When the detectives had taken her to the site where the first two victims had been found, she roughly informed them that the site was bogus.
“But lividity was set here,” Sam had argued. “There’s blood. Scuff marks. All the signs that the killings took place here.”
