by Janet Dailey
'And three plates for yourself as well?’ the girl retorted wickedly.
Coley laughed with the others and John joined in very faintly himself. The three walked off towards the long table of food, still arguing over who was going to bring back Coley's plate.
Coley turned to the auburn-haired girl and smiled ruefully, ‘They'll probably still be arguing on the way back and none of them will have my plate.'
'I doubt that,’ the girl laughed. ‘There's too many very willing hands around to take their place. Just you stay away from John. I try very hard to make everyone believe he's wearing my brand.'
'I hope I didn't do anything that...’ Coley began, rather embarrassed.
'Of course not. All the guys are interested in any new girl that comes this way,’ the girl replied with a bright smile, ‘Especially the ones that look as great as you do. By the way, my name is Jill Saunders.'
'Mine's Coley—to my friends,’ Coley replied, accepting the freckled hand that reached out for hers.
'Freckles, the curse of red hair,’ the girl named Jill grumbled. ‘But it makes me different from most of you golden girls.'
At that moment the dark-haired girl who had earlier eyed Coley so oddly walked by again. She glanced at the two girls coldly. Unable to conceal her curiosity, Coley asked, ‘Who is that?'
'That's Tanya Ford. I can't exactly figure out what she's doing here. There isn't really anyone here her age, except ... but there I go again, letting my catty tongue run away with me,’ Jill said, shrugging lightly, but Coley noticed the hint of red in the girl's cheeks. As she saw the questioning look in Coley's eyes, she added reluctantly, ‘You probably don't know it, but she dated Jason quite regularly before the accident. At least that's the way the gossip goes. I heard she dropped him when the scandal started flying, but I really don't know. It was before my time. Oh, here come the boys. Looks like Dick won out. Come and sit with us, Coley,’ Jill invited as the two boys minus Tony walked up to them, their arms laden with plates and drinks.
Coley nodded agreement. She even managed to smile and laugh as they walked towards the tables, but her mind was racing back to finish one of Jill's earlier sentences—'There isn't anyone here her age except Jase.’ And she used to date him, maybe she wanted to again. For some reason, Coley's heart took a nose dive at the thought. She was glad for the food, because as long as they were eating she didn't have to talk. Of course, the food rather stuck in her throat as it went down, but it was better than trying to hide the tremor she felt sure her voice would hold.
She began searching the faces at the various tables. Now she almost hoped that Jase hadn't come. Then she saw him, seated just a couple of tables from them. He was frowning and it looked as if it was at her. The next moment he was nodding and smiling as if he had just seen her. A warm glow flooded over Coley as she smiled in return before turning back to her own little group.
Shortly after everyone finished eating, the young group began massing together again. Coley noted that her brother had attached himself to a rather quiet girl with long brown hair. She gazed at him so adoringly that Coley immediately admired the girl's taste. There was talk of games and movies and finally someone suggested dancing. Tony followed up the suggestion by going into the house for the stereo and records.
'What do you say we go and freshen up while the boys move the tables?’ Jill suggested, already moving towards the house.
Several other girls joined them. Coley walked quietly beside Jill who was busy chatting with the other girls. She suddenly felt apart from them, a feeling of aloneness settling in on her. When they reached the house, she excused herself, saying her lipstick was in her room. She tripped lightly up the steps, waving brightly to the girls that she would be right down as they paraded into her aunt's bedroom which was serving as the ladies’ boudoir for the evening. Reaching her room, she quickly touched up her lips with a dusty pink gloss before wandering idly over to her window to gaze into the darkening evening shadows at the gay party below.
A sudden flare of light drew her attention to the arbour. Jase was there. At first she thought he was alone. Then she saw another figure step out of the shadows. It was too dark to identify the other person, but the voluptuous silhouette very clearly outlined a female figure. Coley knew instinctively that it had to be Tanya Ford. There was a sickening sensation at the pit of her stomach as she watched the woman move seductively closer to Jase.
When his arms moved to close around Tanya, Coley turned swiftly from the window. Her lips trembled as she inhaled with a deep sobbing breath. She couldn't go back to the party, not yet. In a few minutes, the girls downstairs would be looking for her. She couldn't stay here. With a sudden decision, she dashed from her room and down the steps, pausing at the bottom to glance towards Willy's room where their gay laughter penetrated the walls. She started to hurry by, but was halted by Jason's name being spoken by one of the girls inside.
'I think he's handsome. Well, not really handsome, I suppose,’ one girl was saying. ‘More masculine. He positively oozes male.'
'What about his scar?’ another exclaimed breathlessly.
'It gives me a rather primitive feeling,’ the girl boasted airily.
'Not me,’ another gift said. ‘It makes me feel spooky. I keep thinking about his brother and how everybody said he killed him. He's always so aloof, looking at you the way he does with those eyes of his. He just freezes me.'
'I think it's rather exciting, and dangerous, too,’ the first girl replied.
'Shush, girls, Coley will be coming down any minute. She'll hear you,’ Jill interrupted quickly.
With that Coley hurried out the side door. Tanya wasn't the only one who found Jase attractive. She skirted the more travelled routes, going towards the silent and unlit patio under the oak trees.
'On your way to a rendezvous already?’ Jason's voice mocked out to her from the shadows.
'Of course not.’ Startled by his sudden appearance, Coley couldn't keep the anger and hurt out of her voice. ‘At least, not the way you mean.'
Her heart was beating rapidly now as he joined her in the shadows of the tree.
'I saw you from my window,’ she added tautly as he failed to speak. ‘You were over by the arbour then.'
'Uhuh,’ he agreed. His gaze narrowed on her tense face. ‘Enjoying your party? It's another first for you, isn't it?'
'Yes. Everyone is so nice. They don't make me feel like a stranger at all,’ she replied, cursing inwardly her spasm of jealousy as she forced herself to look into his face as she leaned against a tree trunk.
'I'm glad—for you,’ said Jase, standing silently before her for a moment before reaching his hand out towards her. ‘I imagine that Aunt Willy will have my throat for this, but I'm afraid I stole one of her roses.'
Coley reached out and felt the velvety softness of rose petals in her hand. She moved it out to where the light filtered through the tree limbs to shine on the rose in her hand. It was a deep yellow rose in full bloom.
'A yellow rose for a yellow rose,’ he said quietly.
'It's beautiful, Jase,’ Coley whispered, blinking at the tears that were misting her eyes. She tried to banish the thought that Tanya had probably received an exotic red rose. ‘Thank you.'
'Here,’ he removed the flower from her trembling hands. ‘I'll put it on for you.'
Gently he pulled the rose's stem through the rhinestone circlet pin that adorned her dress until the bloom rested firmly against her chest. When his task was done, he smiled down at her and moved away to light another cigar. He puffed briefly on it before turning back to her.
'You seemed to be having such a good time that I really didn't think you remembered I was around.’ His voice was light. ‘You seemed to have no end of admirers.'
'Neither do you,’ Coley remarked flippantly, and at the quizzical raise of his eyebrow, she added, ‘I overheard one of the girls talking about you just before I came out. She really thought you were something.'
'Really
?’ said Jase with a cynical twist to his question.
'Yes, really,’ Coley said tartly. ‘Now let me see, how was it she put it? Oh, yes, she said you were very masculine and made her feel rather primitive. She said you were dangerously exciting or something quite close to that.'
Jase laughed without mirth. ‘Everyone's bound to be attractive to someone. I'd hate to have you consider me to be repulsive—which I already knew you didn't,’ he added quickly before Coley could interrupt. ‘I believe the dancing's started. I'm sure there are some young men over there who are anxious to partner you. You'd better run along.'
He looked down at the impish grin on her face and smiled ruefully.
'Don't tell me, I know,’ he said with an amused resignation in his voice. ‘You can't dance, right?’ At the short negative shake of her head, he added, ‘You want me to teach you. What if I told you I couldn't dance either?'
'Oh, but you must be able to, Jase, otherwise who will teach me?’ Coley cried. At his sudden smile, she added, ‘Besides, I want you to teach me.'
The faint strains of a ballad came lilting to them through the night air as Coley looked up at him expectantly. Jase moved slightly, a beam of light shining on to the troubled expression on his face, highlighting the jagged scar on his cheek.
'You're better off having Tony teach you,’ he finally said sarcastically.
Coley didn't speak. She just stood in front of him, her round eyes blinking pleadingly up at him.
'Tell me what to do,’ she begged when it looked as if it was going to turn into a staring contest.
Blithely she put her left hand on his shoulder and stepped close to him. Instinctively his right arm encircled her waist as the left took her other hand. His steps were simple and easy to follow and his hand on her back guided her movements until Coley felt as light as thistledown in his arms. Soon she ceased to concentrate on her feet as she realized fascinatedly that her head could rest quite snugly under his chin. Gradually there was no gap between them and their steps were mere shufflings of their feet as she finally laid her head against his chest and felt the gentle stirring of his breath on her hair. She no longer listened to the music, if it indeed was still playing. The rapid beating of her heart had long since dosed out any melody the wind carried. His cheek brushed her hair as his arm tightened its hold around her waist.
His steps came to a stop while Coley swayed ever so slightly in his arms, her head lifting inquiringly up at him.
'I really don't think you need any more lessons,’ Jase said. His voice was husky but firm as he looked down at her.
Coley wanted to protest when his hands gripped her shoulders to move her away, but the thorns on her rose had caught on his coat, preventing them from separating without doing damage. Jase swore softly before reaching down to extricate himself. Coley took the time to study his bent head bathed in the light filtering through the trees. His straight black hair glimmered brightly in the light and his brews were dark furrows above cobwebby lashes resting against the tanned, square lines of his cheek. His aquiline nose shadowed the other side of his face, but she saw the slight distension of his nostrils that always marked a loss of control of his emotions. The green flecks in her hazel eyes sparkled brightly as she next studied the soft curve of his lips, so masculine and yet so desirable. From the corner of her eye she was half conscious that the flower was no longer entangled with his coat. His head raised and his mouth opened to speak, but no words came out as he stared down at her face, her eyes now raised to meet his.
Her hands slipped to his chest and then up around his neck as she moved ever nearer to his face, until the initiative was taken from her and Jase was pulling her to him, his head bending to meet hers. Their lips met, hesitantly at first, Coley's innocent and yet following her instinct and his restrained and exploring. A shiver quaked through her body, releasing a long-held torrent of emotion that soon engulfed her as Jase crushed her trembling frame against his. His kiss was no longer seeking, but taking and consuming. His mouth left hers for a moment, remaining suspended above hers until with a groan, he recaptured it, demandingly and hungrily aroused by her response. Then he was pushing her away from him, his arms trembling but his grip like steel.
Coley looked up at him, her rapture mirrored in her eyes. She loved him. She must have been in love with him all along. That was why she had instinctively trusted him. Why the slightest word could depress or delight her. She loved him.
'Stop it!’ His brows constricted momentarily as he looked down at her.
Coley remained standing where he had placed her, just out of his arms, the fire he had started still glowing in her eyes. Jase turned away from her pleading expression, removed a cigar from his coat pocket and placed it between his lips, where he impatiently snapped a match to it.
'Dammit, Coley!’ Jase swore angrily, staring out into the night's darkness.
'Jase, I...’ she whispered.
'Don't say anything,’ he interrupted, his voice sharp and hitter. ‘Just go on back to the party.'
'I don't want to.'
'You forget, you're not my type.'
Coley inhaled sharply at his wounding words. Her face twisted briefly with pain before she retorted sharply, ‘That's right, you like them more amply endowed—with a thick skin. Like Tanya's.'
'Yes, like Tanya's,’ he asserted, gazing at her speculatively before the mask slipped into place. ‘You know how to dance now and do a few other things,’ he added cynically. ‘Go on. You don't need to comfort the family's black sheep any more.'
'No, I don't suppose there's any reason to hang around here, is there?’ Coley agreed bitterly, with the barest hint of pleading hope in the last two words.
'Not unless you're the kind that gets a thrill our of being with someone whose name is just a little bit blackened, who's been accused of doing some evil deed. Perhaps you like to dance with danger. Is that it?’ Jase asked scathingly. ‘Tell me, that conversation you overheard tonight about me. You didn't say what they said about my brother, I don't suppose they mentioned his death at all, did they?’ Coley blanched at his words, but didn't answer. Suddenly her face was caught by his hand and twisted fiercely up towards him. ‘Did they?'
'Yes, they did,’ she answered. The words were barely audible because of his tight grip. Tears began damming up her vision. ‘It doesn't matter.'
'Ha!’ Jase snorted a cynical laugh as he released his hold. ‘It doesn't matter! You've got to be the most optimistic Pollyanna I've ever met. What do you think would happen if the two of us walked back to that party together?’ When Coley managed a negative sideways movement of her head, he inhaled briefly on his cheroot before continuing bitterly, ‘Well, let me tell you. The first thing that you would notice would be the silence. The second thing would be the eyes, all staring at us, shocked and condemning. Your brother would probably take me aside and demand to know my intentions and Aunt Willy would draw you aside to tut-tut to you about getting mixed up with me. If we were lucky, Ben wouldn't see us. Otherwise he'd probably raise out of his wheelchair to beat you personally for being so immoral, and he'd probably file a restraining order forbidding me to set foot on Savage land.'
The dam had burst and the tears were streaming down Coley's face now at the unbearable pain inside caused by the mocking contempt in his voice. Then anger seared through her as she trembled with rage.
'Savage land! Savage land!’ Although her voice was low it vibrated loudly with her anger. ‘That's the only part you'd care about. Savage land!’ Contempt now laced her voice as she fairly spat out the words. ‘I've never known anyone who could care about a bunch of dirt as much as you and your grandfather. You'd kill for this land!'
Jase towered over her, the blue icicles in his eyes freezing her with their intensity. His head was turned at just the right angle for the scar to be the only part of his face illuminated by the light. Coley cringed as the full horror of her words and their unspeakable cruelty dawned on her.
'I didn't mean it, Jase, I s
wear I di...’ she began, but he interrupted.
'You were absolutely right. Good night, Colleen.’ Finality was so clear in his words that Coley knew he might as well have said ‘Good-bye.'
She stood silent, as immobile as the oak tree beside her, while Jase walked off into the darkness. A dry, hacking grief tore at her, knowing that nothing she could do or say would bring him back to her. There were no words she could call out to him that could erase the wretched words she had uttered.
Finally she picked up the rose that had fallen from his hand. The delicate petals were as torn and bruised as her own heart. He had once compared her with a yellow rose. He had even laughed about her thorns, but what did he think of them now? she wondered as a brief but hysterical laugh escaped her lips before she buried her head in her arms and leaned against the tree to cry. What had she done to him now?
Chapter Eight
A MONTH, a whole month since the party, Coley thought, staring at herself in the mirror. But it was as fresh in her mind as if it were last night. Somehow she had pulled herself together that night and returned to the party. There had been nowhere else to go and her absence would have been too noticeable.
Punishment for her hasty words had begun that night. The gay festivities and laughing voices had taken on a nightmarish quality as she endured it all in a stupor. None of it had seemed to touch her. She couldn't even summon an objection to Tony's persistent attention. Perhaps because she couldn't take her eyes off Jase and the dark-haired Tanya who clung to his arm, never taking her eyes off him either.
And now, a month later, Coley's torpor remained. But her reflection showed that this apathy had taken its toll in the dullness of her eyes, the drawnness around her mouth and the gradual loss of weight. Her appearance hadn't gone unnoticed. Aunt Willy clucked over her, trying to find out what was troubling her. Tony had become affronted by her continued lack of response to his attentions. Ben had been the most understanding, filling her days with busy but undemanding tasks. The hours spent with him had been the most rewarding for Coley. She felt in some unmeasurable way she was giving something back to him for the comfort he gave her.
