by C. S. Lakin
Dill, in all his misery, is infatuated with Lydia, a girl who has a funny dentist father and supportive mother, who provide her with a wonderful home life—in sharp contrast to Dill’s pathetic home situation.
All Lydia wants is for senior year to hurry up so she can leave for New York and college. She’s snarky, bossy, sophisticated, and, as a result, a misfit in this close-minded backwater town. She is somewhat famous, having carved out a niche online with her fashion blog. She is as ambitious as Dill is not. While she hangs out with Dill and enjoys his friendship, she’s domineering and pushy, albeit with a snappy wit and measurable affection.
And then we have Travis. If Dill’s home life is bad, Travis’s is downright awful. His brother died fighting in Afghanistan, his drunk father beats and humiliates him (and terrifies him), and his weak mother does nothing to prop Travis up. He immerses himself in online sites all centered on a fantasy book series called Bloodfall. There he chats with others and gets into character, though this escape from his painful reality only partially provides relief. Lydia and Dill hang with Travis—an unlikely threesome, but misfits tend to gravitate together.
And so the story begins.
I’ve put in bold what I believe are the ten key scenes. I hope you’ll see that, while they are not big plot events, they are big, consequential moments in which the characters are faced with choices and potential change. I hope you can see that even a novel that seems to ignore time-tested structure in fact may comply.
I know this is a lot of material, but I believe that by examining the scene breakdowns of novels in your genre, identifying the ten key scenes, then the next layer of ten scenes, you’ll get the hang of this layering method—and you’ll see how logical it is to plot out your story this way. (The POV character is named at the start of each scene summary.)
The Serpent King Scene Summary
Key Scene #1 – Setup. Dill: It’s the day before school starts. He’s playing guitar and thinking about Lydia. Establishes his talent and that his mother works at a motel. Lydia is about to pick Dill up to take him clothes shopping in Nashville for school. Mom pressures Dill to go visit Dad in prison while there. He doesn’t want to go but can’t say no. We meet Lydia and see how pushy and snarky she is as they pick up Travis, who carts his wizard staff with him wherever he goes. Scene ends with Dill feeling dread over the school year.
Lydia: The three go into a store in Nashville. She picks clothes for Dill, but Travis doesn’t want any. She dickers with the shop owner to give them a deal, revealing Lydia is the famous blogger of Dollywould, a top fashion blog. This scene is all about setting up who Lydia is, her sophistication, her drive to be more, her need to go off to college and ditch this town.
Dill: Lydia and Travis wait at the prison while Dill goes in to visit his crazy dad. Dad preaches at him, as usual, pressuring him to sing and play guitar for Jesus. A total downer. Lydia takes him home and gives him a music CD to listen to. He is miserable.
Travis: After he’s dropped off at home, we meet his horrible drunk dad, who is mean and belittling. He pressures Travis to play football and tells him what a loser he is. Travis buries himself online, where he connects in a chat room with Amelia, a girl who loves Bloodfall and is nice to him. A tiny bit of cheer in his very dark world.
Dill: Mom can’t even afford her meds for her back pain, putting pressure on Dill to quit school, work full-time, and make money for the family (since it’s all his fault that Dad is in prison). She attacks his friends because they aren’t church-going perfect kids. Dill sees no future for himself, as he cannot stand up for himself because he has little self-esteem.
Lydia: As she talks to her parents, we see what a wonderful family she has, how lucky she is to have such an easy life. They give her a new laptop, and we watch Lydia, online, connected to very successful and famous people due to her blog. She texts with Dahlia, the girl she hopes to room with at NYU, if she can get in.
Dill: First day of school, and kids tease and torment him over his dad. They insult Lydia too, but she is fast with her wits and cuts them down to size. Dill wants to punch Tyson for his insults, but Lydia prevails. Point of scene: Dill feels like a loser, but Lydia believes in him and champions him.
Travis: works hard at the lumber mill. More texting with Amelia, who has an awful dad too. Travis (and the reader) learn the important story about Dill’s grandfather, who started handling snakes, and Dill’s crazy dad, who is famous for snake-handling in his church. If you are chosen and faithful, you can handle vipers without getting bit, and you can drink poison and you won’t die (something Dill’s dad did often in church). This sets up Dill feeling he has bad blood and can’t escape his family name and reputation.
Key Scene #2 - Inciting Incident. (18% mark) Dill: He’s with Lydia at a coffee shop. She tries to persuade him to go to college. Why is this the Inciting Incident? Because this is the first time Dill hears the suggestion that he go to college, the idea that he could actually leave this dead-end town and make something of himself. Up till now he has resolved that he will never leave. His mother wants him to stay in Forrestville forever and take care of her as penance for his crime. (For Dill to come into his essence by the end of the book, he must be able, ready, and willing to leave the town and the guilt behind, so this is why this scene is the moment his focus starts to shift, to move him toward his goal.)
Lydia: Travis joins them in the coffee shop. Lydia starts writing her college entrance essay, ever focused on leaving, and insisting (to the boys’ hurt) that there is nothing in this town worth staying for.
Dill: runs into a former church member, who attacks and blames Dill for his preacher dad being in jail. Dill goes to Lydia’s house for dinner, sadly comparing his pathetic life with Lydia’s wonderful parents and home life.
Travis: He texts Amelia, feeling happy that someone actually likes him. He and Dill are at Lydia’s watching a documentary with her. They decide to go to the “Column” over at the bridge to write something memorable on it, to leave behind for future generations to read.
Dill: They sit up over the river and write their profound thoughts on the Column.
Lydia: She talks with her dad about what a dumb choice it was to raise her here. Dad reminds her that she has two great friends, and she agrees. He tells her things about Travis’s parents that she didn’t know, inspiring empathy for Travis. She texts Dahlia, and they talk more about their New York plans.
Dill: He’s with Lydia at the bookstore, buying his mom a birthday present. He flashes back to right before his dad got arrested, when he sang and played guitar in church. His dad had almost handed him a snake to handle, then changed his mind, implying Dill was unworthy and lacked faith, and that has plagued Dill ever since, making him doubt his own worthiness and impounding his doubts about his faith.
Travis: Dill asks if Travis’s mom could make his own mom a birthday cake. She agrees, and Travis helps. But his dad comes in and ruins everything, drunk, calling Travis a fag. Travis retreats to his room and texts Amelia, who cheers him up.
Key Scene #3 - First Pinch Point (30%). Dill: gives Mom the cake and floats the idea of college to her. She gets furious and tells him absolutely not. He must stay in town and work full-time to support her until Dad gets out of prison. He redirects his anger at Lydia, who gave him the dumb idea to go to college. He knows he is trapped and can never leave. I ID this as the first pinch point because, related to the goal of college, this is his first attempt to present his case to go to college, and his mom (the strong opposition in the story to this goal) says no. Here, true to the purpose of the pinch point, we see the full force of the opposition.
Lydia: We read a long blog post she writes that shows both her knowledge of fashion and her disgust with her small-town life. She’s at the library and spots Travis, who is texting someone and actually laughing—something she’s never seen. She teases him and wants to know who the girl is.
Key Scene #4 - Twist #1. Dill: working at the market (his part-time job), he
helps a little girl who falls off a mechanical pony. The mother, knowing who he is, screams at him and accuses him of trying to molest the girl (clearly, everyone in town thinks Dill is the pedophile and that his dad was innocent and framed by his lying son). Dill, shook up, goes to the library, reads Lydia’s blog post (in which she complains that she has no friends in this dumpy town), and gets angry at her (hurt that she is embarrassed to have him as a friend). She argues back challenging Dill for his choice to stay in town. She threatens to abandon him, and he feels panic. Lydia dumps him off at his house and drives away. (Lydia, in her persona, can’t admit to having such pathetic friends as Dill and Travis to her thousands of online followers.) I chose this as Twist #1 because suddenly Dill’s only real support is yanked from him. Remember what Twist #1 is about? “Something new happens: a new ally, a friend becomes a foe. New info reveals a serious complication to reaching the goal. The protagonist must adjust in response to this setback.” Dill’s friend becomes a foe, and the incident with the little girl shows just how much Dill’s life in his community is impacted by his decision to testify against his father, and more to come if he sticks around after graduation. In other words, his personal stakes and the weight of his choice is emphasized via this twist.
Travis: texting Amelia, and they are getting close. Dill calls and asks Travis to help fix his mom’s car. As Travis works on the car, he urges Dill to make up with Lydia.
Dill: goes to Lydia’s and apologizes. Shares how his mother went ballistic over the college idea. Lydia tries to reason with him, then gives him her old laptop. Dill is stunned and thrilled. He talks with Lydia’s dentist dad, who also plays guitar. Dill is encouraged by Lydia’s dad taking an interest in him and being kind to him.
Key Scene #5 - Midpoint. Lydia: Dill and she are eating lunch at school, when the football creeps once again harass Dill. Lydia, once more, cuts them down to size. She texts her friends about college, working hard to fit in with the rich and elite. She starts to upload Dill’s music videos that he’s made of him playing and is stunned and impressed with his talent. This shifts her feelings for him. She tries to persuade Dill to enter the school talent contest, and via her online clout, his music videos start going viral. This is the Midpoint even though it is in Lydia’s POV. Here is where Dill realizes he has true talent, which hints at a possible future he never dreamed of—one in which he has self-worth. He steps over a threshold here. He begins his journey, committed to make something of his life beyond working at a market.
Key Scene #6 - Pinch Pont #2. Dill practices for the show, then gets up on stage and performs. Though kids chide him, Lydia’s smile gives him courage to surrender to his music. He wins. (I would include this as part of the Midpoint, as a continuation of the above scene.) Just as he’s wondering how long this euphoria will last, not a week later his mom rails on him, dumping blame on him for Dad being in prison, again. She tells him he must by lying because he never handled the snakes (this motif weaves through the story). Lydia’s dad drives Dill to see Dad in prison, and Dad does his usual berating and blaming of Dill. But this time, as with his mother, Dill stands up and throws the truth at him. His dad, disgusted, storms away. In the car, Dill breaks down, has a wonderful heart-to-heart with Lydia’s dad. Dill is worried he has poisoned blood, but Dr. Blankenship reassures Dill, who says, “I really wish you were my dad.” Doc answers: “I would be proud if you were my son.” Dill is getting more validation that he does have worth—from someone he respects. This is the second pinch point that revisits Dill facing off with his mom, but this time, though the opposition is even stronger and more pressing, Dill stands up to her.
Travis: Lydia is driving Travis and Dill to the airport for a surprise. She won’t say why. Through her various connections, she’s arranged for the author of the Bloodfall series to spend a few hours with her “greatest fan.” Travis is beside himself with excitement. They take Mr. Pennington for ice cream, where Travis plies him with questions. Pennington tells Travis he should start writing, and a spark inside Travis catches fire. “Something began to grow inside him . . . something that might be able to grow through the rocks and dirt that his father piled on him.” Lydia gets Pennington to autograph a hardcover copy of a book for Travis. Exuberant, he goes home, only to face a drunk father who attacks him for missing work. They fight, and Dad grabs the book and starts ripping it. Travis falls to the floor to protect it as his dad beats him with a belt. Finally, something breaks inside Travis. He stands, faces Dad, and threatens him. “You lay a hand on me again, I’ll break it off your arm.” And “if you lay a hand on my mom again, I’ll kill you.” Dad kicks him out, so Travis kisses Mom and leaves.
Dill: Lydia had filled the laptop with music, which Dill loves. He hears a tap on his window and finds Travis. Determined to change his life, Travis asks Dill if he’d room with him after graduation, to which Dill agrees. Travis stays at Dill’s house now. A moving ending when Travis sits alone in the car and weeps, and Dill watches from his house.
Lydia: Travis brings her his first story, wanting her opinion. She warns she will be brutal. She later checks the mail and finds she’s been accepted to NYU!
Dill: After work, Lydia shows up and takes him to the coffee shop. She tells him the news, wanting him to be happy for her. But how can he? His heart is breaking.
Travis: sits by the river texting Amelia. She offers to meet him so they can read the new novel together. He is so happy. But then two meth heads drive up and rob him, then shoot him. Travis dies.
Key Scene #7 - Twist #2. Dill: He and Lydia can’t reach Travis. They drive to where he said he’d be and see emergency vehicles. They go to the hospital, where they learn Travis has died. Dill weeps. When he goes home and his mom questions him, all she says is, “Was he saved?” Clearly the big twist in the plot, which is “usually some reversal, betrayal, unforeseen complication.” This surely meets that definition, right?
Lydia: Two days later Dill is at her house. They talk about the killers who were caught, looking for money to buy drugs. They walk to Travis’s funeral, where they meet Amelia and see Pennington has sent flowers and a very touching card.
Dill: He and Lydia are at Travis’s grave talking about what Travis’s life might have been had he lived. They have a deep talk about life, God, family. He shares his fear that he has the “snake poison” in his blood. (I love this snake motif, because it’s all about being worthy. Dill has been deemed unworthy because he could never hold the snakes, but his life, although deadly and poisonous, is something he courageously grabs with both hands and masters.) Lydia tells him to be strong and promise to tell her if he ever considers suicide. He promises.
Lydia: Home from the funeral, she talks to Dad. He tries to console her. Her friend Dahlia texts about trivial things, and Lydia tells her a good friend just died. She realizes how wrong it was to be embarrassed about her true friends. She makes a step into her essence when she posts on her blog about Travis, her cowardice and shame, and how he was a true friend. She weeps.
Dill: in his room, depressed. Travis’s mom shows up, gives him the staff. He sees her car is packed; she’s leaving the drunk husband. His own mom comes in after, trying to cheer him up with religious platitudes, but it only sends him into deeper darkness.
Lydia: She calls Dill, waiting outside to take him to school, but he doesn’t answer or come out. Frightened, she hurries inside him house and finds him. She urges him to come, but he won’t, assuring her he’ll be okay.
Key Scene #8 – Dark Night. Dill: sinks deeper into depression. Considers suicide. Stares at the river and decides to die. This is a literal “dark night of the soul” time for Dill.
Lydia: Dill shows up at her house because he promised he would tell her when he was about to kill himself. Talking with her, he knows now that, to survive, he must leave town, go to college. He’s decided. Lydia and he pull an all-nighter, filling out college apps and writing essays. Her dad writes Dill a letter of rec.
Dill: strokes her hand (1 para
graph)
Lydia: She enjoys it (1 paragraph)
Dill: kisses her (1 paragraph)
Lydia: Their first kiss interrupted by her mom coming to her room. They laugh; they’re happy and hopeful. Lydia is glad Dill is cheering up and tells him his music videos are getting thousands of views. They kiss more and laugh about how they are really complicating their lives.
Dill: They agree to keep their closeness low-key as school wraps up, aware they are going separate ways. Dill quits working at the market and instead works for Lydia’s dad through summer, and through the dental company gets good counseling and antidepressants. He gets accepted at the state U he’d hoped for, and Lydia, excited for him, drives him to the campus to see where he’ll be attending school. He’s enthralled, and then a student recognizes him from his music video and gushes praise. The future is bright. When he gets home, he plays a song he wrote for her.
Lydia: Has a wonderful, warm exchange with her parents when she gets home, as well as a heart-to-heart with Mom about being in love with Dill. We see how much Lydia has come into her essence through all this.
Key Scene #9 – Big Climax. Dill: Mom gets home. He wasn’t going to tell her about college until the day before leaving, but now he decides to stand up and face her. Instead of lying, he tells the truth (coming into his essence here). She takes her virulent stand, throwing every accusation and pushing every guilt button, but he does not budge on his decision. She walks out. Dill thinks: “If you’re going to live, you might as well do painful, brave, and beautiful things.” This is the climax because the visible goal for the book, however subtle, is Dill going off to college. So this big, final standoff, facing his opposition, shows him reaching his goal. Nothing will stop him now.
