His eyes opened wide, and he fixed her with a look that she definitely recognized. Blue, piercing, and implacable, with just enough mischief to show he understood every irony the situation might have. In that moment, her father seemed very much alive and present. “Sweetheart, I wanted you to stay in Missoula because I raised you to take over the pack someday.”
He’d never said that to her before. Certainly not throughout the many battles they’d had during her adolescence, when he hadn’t accepted a single decision she wanted to make. Juli had thought they’d agreed to disagree when she went to work in Lewistown. Had he really harbored a hope that she would return to Missoula to become pack alpha? Juli licked her lips nervously. Her mouth had gone dry. “What about Neil? Isn’t he expecting...” Surely, Neil had stood by Juli’s father so staunchly because he anticipated being named as a successor.
A strange, beatific smile spread over his face. “You have a lot to teach Neil.”
“Me?” She was stammering. She’d never needed so many deep breaths in her life.
“He needs you. He’s a good beta, but he still doesn’t have an alpha’s heart.”
“Daddy.” Juli kept her voice as gentle as she could. “I love you. I’m glad I came to see you. But I have a job in Lewistown. I can’t stay here with Neil.”
“Not just Neil. The pack.” He released her and lifted shaking hands off the bed. He grabbed the leather ring and tried to work it off his finger.
“Daddy, wait!”
“I did wait for you, Juli. This needs to be done while I’m alive, or Neil gets the leadership automatically. I’m sorry, baby girl, but I can’t wait any longer.” The ring came free. He grabbed her hand. She could not believe the steel in his grip or the determination in his eyes.
“Daddy, no!” Footsteps slapped against the tile floor. The ICU nurse and Neil rushed into the room just in time to see Juli’s father force the leather ring onto her finger. She snatched her hand from his grip, but he continued to struggle, locked in a battle with an invisible force.
“Darrow!” Neil cried.
“Is he okay?” the nurse asked, her voice urgent despite its professional tone.
Before Juli could put together an answer, machines broke into a cacophony of beeping. Her father’s muscles convulsed and his eyes strained open. A glance at the monitor showed his skyrocketing heart rate. “Daddy!”
“Honey, I’m going to need you to move out of the way.” The nurse stepped purposefully toward the machines.
Neil plucked Juli from her seat at her father’s side, sweeping her into his arms. The sight of her father’s face contorted in pain horrified Juli, but she could not take her eyes off him. Neil pushed her face against his jersey. Even with the turmoil coursing through her, his scent made her shiver. He misinterpreted the cause, stroking soothing fingers over her back that only inflamed her further. How could she be so distracted by him, even when her father lay dying?
“I’m taking her out to the waiting room,” Neil told the nurse.
“Good idea.”
Juli struggled with Neil, knowing this could be her last chance to see her father alive. “Daddy!”
He sat up, ignoring the nurse’s protests and efforts to push him down flat. Werewolf strength surely played a role, even with the suppressant, but Juli suspected the feat had more to do with the power of the man’s will. His eyes were wide, his pupils dilated. “You’re a good girl, Juli. You’ll do fine.”
Neil grabbed her arms behind her in a lock and forced her out of the room.
Chapter Two
Neil stayed in the background as long as he could stand it. He helped Juli calm down, then stood at her side while she filled out paperwork and made calls to local funeral homes.
Then he scented another werewolf in the building and knew he couldn’t wait to act. They’d probably called Dr. LaMont in to write up the death certificate. The werewolf doctor would be discreet, but even he couldn’t find Juli wearing the alpha’s ring, or it would be too late to contain the situation.
He pulled the ICU nurse aside. The woman had seemed consistently nice and concerned. “Listen,” Neil said, turning on the charm he used on pretty fans after ball games. “Juli’s obviously having a rough time. Can I take her out for a little while? I know there are a lot of things she needs to take care of, but I think she also needs a break.”
The nurse’s face softened. “She’s a trooper.”
“She is.”
“Take her out. We can’t do anything until we have the death certificate, anyway.”
Neil smiled—no need to mention that he could smell Darrow’s doctor making his way ever closer to the ICU. Returning to Juli in the dingy ICU waiting room, he brushed her arm to get her attention. He couldn’t believe how much he’d been able to do that in the last few hours, after going so long without touching her or even seeing her. The anxious yet tender expression on her face when she glanced up from her papers made him want to take her in his arms then and there and finish what she’d started all those years ago, before she’d left for college.
Of course, after the night she’d offered him everything, she’d forgotten about him completely. Neil couldn’t afford to let that fact slip away from him. He cleared his throat.
“Let’s go get a beer. The nurse says this stuff can wait until you get a break.”
She lifted her head. “One of ours is coming.”
“It’s just the doctor, Juli. He can handle things for us while we get you a little rest.”
Her grateful smile gave him a little twinge of guilt. He told himself he wasn’t manipulating her. As a good beta, he knew how to keep things running smoothly for the pack, taking judicious action where needed. He didn’t want to see her or the pack plunged into unnecessary confusion.
Neil led Juli out, choosing a path that avoided the other werewolf in the building. “I thought you might like to go to The Rhino,” he said, starting up his ancient truck and doing his best to smile through the ominous banging it made as it warmed up. He needed it to keep running for another year, even if he had to tie its engine together with dental floss.
Juli blinked. “You know, I’ve never been there. I left Missoula before I was a legal drinker.”
“Well, then we have to go.”
Their silence on the drive over gave him a good chance to watch her from the corner of his eye. Juli wasn’t a teenager anymore, that was for sure. Even at eighteen, she’d been all woman, driving him to distraction every time she entered a room. She probably had no idea what it had cost him to resist her advances.
She’d gotten even taller if that was possible, big and strong as a man, but still curved in all the right places. The firm set of her jaw made the soft glow of her pale skin even more inviting. It didn’t look like she cared much for what she wore, but the pale blue color she’d always favored for her shirts brought out every complex highlight of her eyes. At some point, she’d gotten a shorter, more grown-up looking haircut. He missed the long, black hair that used to fly wild, but couldn’t deny the way the new look shaped her face and pulled his attention to her plump lips. Just a little glimpse of her skin would have driven him crazy, but her damned hiking shorts showed miles of leg.
He parked on the street outside the bar. Neil couldn’t resist a moment of pride when he went around to her side of the truck to help her out. He might drive a beat-up old ride, but no other man in there would have a girl like this on his arm.
The din of conversation roared over them the moment he swung open The Rhino’s door. Peanut shells crunched under his boots as he stepped onto the worn, wooden flooring. Did Juli cling to him a little as he led her through the crowd? Neil let himself believe she did.
“They’ve got a really awesome selection of craft beer here.”
Juli squinted at him, not lighting up like a person who knew beer. He patted her shoulder. “I’ll get you a Moose Drool. You kind of have to know about it if you live in Montana.”
She nodded, then leaned forw
ard to shout in his ear. “It’s really loud in here.”
He smiled. “You can stay close to me.” She narrowed her eyes, but he didn’t read genuine anger there, or even irritation. “Seriously, a loud place is the best way to get real privacy. I want you to take a break, but we also have some serious things to talk about.”
His lips could have brushed the side of her face, she’d come so near him. The sweet cucumber scent of her hair couldn’t mask the earthier smell of female werewolf. She’d slathered herself in bug spray too, but he wasn’t a bug. That unpleasant scent didn’t repel him in the least. His beast instincts surged to the forefront, very interested. Neil forced the wild part of him back down, wondering if it had been a mistake to bring her here. Having a few beers, then whispering into the ear of a beautiful woman could potentially distract him from the delicate politics of the situation.
He excused himself to the bar, ordered their drinks, then returned and found them a spot in a corner. Even with the students gone for the summer, people crowded The Rhino on Saturday nights. Juli wound up with her long body pressed against his from knee to shoulder. Neil braced one arm behind her to give both of them a little stability, and prayed he wouldn’t offend her with his stirring erection.
She shifted beside him, her breathing irregular. “You okay? If you want to leave, we can,” he offered.
She studied him so long before replying that he had to wonder what hidden meaning she found in his words. “No. It’s sort of a weird switch, but it’s nice to be reminded about life outside the hospital.”
“Yeah.” The heat of her body made him think plenty of thoughts about life outside the hospital. “Do you like the beer?”
She took a considering sip, then made a face. “It tastes like honest-to-God moose drool.”
“I’ve never actually hunted one of those.”
Juli smiled for only a second before her expression turned serious. “Neil, I wasn’t ready for any of this.”
He tightened his arm around her. “Of course not. How could you be?”
“Pack alpha?”
Neil cleared his throat. It was just like her to take him off balance by diving straight into the heaviest part of the conversation. He needed to respond carefully. “Juli, if that’s a burden to you, I may be able to help.”
“I hope so! I don’t know what I’ll do without you staying on as beta. I’ll need you to help me with so many things, Neil. Names, current standing. Everything. It’s been five years. What if people don’t accept me?”
Neil blinked. He’d expected to find her desperate to relieve herself of the responsibility Darrow had dumped on her. She’d left years ago, after all, and had never seemed to spare a backward glance for the pack, or for him. “You mean, you actually want to do this?”
She pulled back a few inches and stared. His body cried out at the loss, and he had to resist the urge to close the distance she had opened between them. “I have to do this. My father used his dying breath to pass this on to me. I have a duty. You of all people ought to understand.”
That came through loud and clear. Neil knew people talked about how much he’d sacrificed for pack duty. His baseball career, for one thing—he’d gotten plenty of chances to move up in the Minor League, if only he’d been willing to leave Missoula. That stung, but not as much as his decision to pass on the opportunity he’d had with Juli.
He spoke before he had a chance to think. “Maybe it’s time to stop worrying so much about duty. Maybe it’s time to think about what’s right for us individually.” He should have kissed her that night years ago. She shouldn’t take this responsibility now, when she clearly didn’t have the resources or the training for it. Both these things could be fixed. He took the little step toward her, wanting to sigh aloud at how perfectly she fit against him.
“What are you doing, Neil?” She looked frightened. Neil reminded himself to slow down, to act like a man and not a wolf.
“Juli. We’re the only pack members who saw your father pass that ring to you.” He paused to allow the significance to sink in. “You have another life in Lewistown. You have a career. You’ve made it clear you’re not interested in this pack. We can say whatever we want about what took place in that room. He could have passed the ring to me as far as anyone else knows. No one would question that.”
He would have kept talking, except that Juli wrenched herself violently out of his grasp at that point. “Not interested in this pack? We can say whatever we want?” He heard her just fine despite the new distance between them. In fact, he worried who else had heard her mention the pack. And who else had seen that furry paw she’d thrust into his face.
They both froze for a second, staring at her latest lapse of control.
“Damn it.” Juli’s curse came out more as a growl than as words.
“We need to get out of here,” Neil said. “You just focus on staying cool.” She knew better than to argue with him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out, leaving their beers behind. They could finish this conversation in his truck.
They ran for the truck like the rest of the world was on fire, and slammed the doors behind them once they got there. Juli writhed in her seat, gasping, her wolf form rippling just on the other side of her skin. Neil panted in response. He didn’t normally have trouble controlling his shift, but with her beside him, so close, too much of him wanted to meet her in a place of complete abandon. He wanted to run with her under the moon, fight her for supremacy until neither cared who wound up on top or on the bottom. Then, with one last vicious pounce, he wanted to surrender to the merging of their bodies. He swallowed hard.
Stats. He ran through the winning World Series teams for the last three decades. He tried to calculate his total career RBIs. The stream of data calmed Neil down. He started the car. “I’m going to drive us somewhere a little more private,” he told Juli. “Just in case.”
“Back to the hospital.”
“You’re in no shape—”
“Back to the hospital.” She showed fangs. Neil didn’t need that so soon after he’d regained his own control. He stopped arguing and pressed the gas. They’d go somewhere. He just needed to be driving so he had something to concentrate on besides the idea of Juli giving herself up to the beast. He needed a really good reason to remain in human form.
The truck’s cab filled with her labored breathing. Neil turned on the radio to distract himself from the sexual images the sound called up for him. He’d always avoided being alone with her, afraid to give even the appearance of impropriety. Right then, Neil wasn’t sure if he was grateful for the trouble he’d saved himself or sorry as hell for what he’d missed. The instinctual attraction he felt for her was off the charts.
He got so caught in his reverie that only Juli tugging at his sleeve alerted him that her struggles had become sobs. “Neil, can you pull over?” Her voice sounded deflated. “I’m sorry I insisted about the hospital. I’m not ready to go back there yet.”
Her obvious misery immediately pierced his sexual fog. Neil pulled the truck into a convenience store parking lot and looked at her. “Do you want a minute? I can go get some water.”
“No, it’s okay.” She hesitated, chewing on her top lip. “Are you about to tell me I need to ask Dr. LaMont for some lycanthropy suppressants? I’m obviously way out of control.”
He hadn’t expected this. Neil sighed. He wished he weren’t in such a land mine of a situation. “Juli, you know better than I do how the Werewolf Council feels about public acts of lycanthropy. The problems you’re having could lead to trouble with them, sure. But your father just died. It can’t be easy to keep a lid on things, and Lord knows the full-moon exemption isn’t coming soon enough. I don’t believe in shoving lycanthropy suppressants down people’s throats the moment a little life happens. You’re feeling very emotional. That seems normal to me. What kind of person would you be if you weren’t having trouble with control right now?”
She gave him a teary smile that threatened to break
his heart. “Thanks for that, Neil. It means a lot to me.”
He watched her face carefully. “About what I said in the bar... I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You just think I don’t care about any of this.”
“Well, do you?”
Her head snapped up and a bit of the wolf flickered behind her eyes again. “How can you ask me that?”
Neil blew out a long breath. She wanted him to make his case? He could do that. “What would you even do for work? You know being pack alpha doesn’t pay.”
She stared at him as if he were a fool. “I’m a registered nurse, Neil. There are two large hospitals here. I think I’ll be fine.”
“What about your fancy job in Lewistown? The one that was so important you couldn’t come back here to visit your dad?”
She rubbed her eyes. “Can you try to keep the venom out of this, Neil? Jeez, you’re so bitter, you’d think I failed to visit you.” Bingo. But Juli continued speaking, oblivious. “Gabriel’s not going to like it if I resign. He talked a lot about developing new talent when he hired me. But it’s not like the Council can’t run without me. This was my father’s last request. Besides, the pack probably needs me more.”
He swallowed, unable to believe she had the nerve to say these things. “Maybe I’m underestimating how good you are at walking away from things. Foolish of me, since I have personal experience.” Neil shook his head, uncertain if the anger surging through him was directed at himself or at Juli. “The pack needs someone really committed, Juli. Not someone who will leave again the next time it’s convenient.”
Not The Leader Of The Pack Page 2
