by C. L. Taylor
The silence that follows is painful. Not one person says a word and when I sneak a glimpse to my right, Meg and Milo are both staring down at the sand while Jeffers determinedly whittles away at a piece of wood with his pocket knife. No good can come of getting involved with Danny and Honor’s argument. It’s a lovers’ tiff and there’s no point taking sides. They’ll have made up and be all lovey-dovey again by the morning.
‘Sod this!’ Honor shouts. ‘I’m not staying here. Anuman, first thing tomorrow I want you to take me back in the boat.’
Our guide looks up impassively. He doesn’t want to get involved either. Honor doesn’t wait for a response. She stalks off down the beach with Danny running after her, shouting that there’s no way he’s letting her go anywhere alone.
The others are asleep, lying side by side in the shelter; a row of multicoloured worms in their waterproof sleeping bags. Meg and Milo went to bed first, shortly followed by Jeffers. Anuman tried to convince me that I should go to bed too. When I said no, that I wanted to stay up for a bit longer, he shrugged, retired to the food prep shelter and crawled into his own sleeping bag. A few minutes later I saw the shapes of Danny and Honor wandering back towards camp. You could have driven a truck between them they were standing so far apart. As they drew closer the fire illuminated Honor’s puffy eyes, her eye make-up striped down her cheeks. Danny was still raging; his eyes narrow, his jaw tight. Neither of them so much as looked at me as they rounded the fire and scrabbled around in the gloom, trying to find their stuff. Danny lay down first, taking a spot on the ground next to Jeffers. Honor stood with her back to me, clutching her sleeping bag, for the longest time. She looked like she was trying to decide where to sleep – next to Danny or next to Meg, on the other end of the row. Finally, she made her choice and lay down next to Danny, rolling onto her side so she had her back to him.
It’s after midnight and the sweltering heat of the day can’t have dropped more than a few degrees. When Danny started the fire earlier Anuman explained that, in a survival experience, it’s vital to keep it burning all the time; that it’s our only source of heat, cooking and water purification. He sent us all into the forest to collect wood, and there’s a huge pile stacked up behind me. But that’s not the reason I’m still awake. I’m not worried the fire will go out. I’m terrified it will get out of control. And if the whole island goes up in flames, so will we.
Chapter 6
DANNY
Danny groans and stretches as he wakes up. Every bone in his body aches, as though he ran a marathon the night before. Honor, beside him, is still asleep, her back curled away from him. He woke in the night and, forgetting their argument, snuggled up beside her and threw an arm around her waist. They haven’t had sex all holiday. Back at the hotel he tried knocking on Honor’s door when he was sure Thea was asleep, but Honor refused to let him in, claiming the walls were thin and her mum would hear. Last night, as he pressed up against his girlfriend on the cold, hard shelter floor, she curled into a tight ball. She didn’t want him to touch her.
Danny looks down at her as she sleeps, his heart twisting in his chest. Honor has always made him feel so loved and safe, but she’s losing interest, slipping away, growing more and more distant with every day. He crawls out of the low shelter and reaches for the empty bottle of vodka, half buried in the sand. He glances at Jessie, curled up on the sand beside the gently flickering fire. Like Honor, she’s still fast asleep. No sign of Anuman, though. His sleeping bag, in the food prep shelter, is empty. He’s not on the beach either. He’s probably in the jungle, foraging for food.
Danny pulls the empty bottle out of the sand and throws it onto a haphazard pile of rubbish near the fire. As it strikes another bottle Jessie jolts awake, her eyes wide and fearful, one cheek smothered with sand and her hair sticking up at all angles. She props herself up on her elbow and stares at him. ‘What… who—’
‘Morning,’ he says. ‘We’re on the island. Remember?’
Jessie stares blearily around, taking in the long stretch of beach and the sea lapping at the shore.
‘Did you sleep out here all night?’ He gestures at the small patch of skin between the hem of her trousers and her ankle bone. It’s pricked with angry red dots. ‘Looks like the sand flies had a feast.’
Jessie groans in despair and rubs at her leg. ‘Great.’
‘Someone’s busy.’ He points further down the beach where Jefferson is sitting cross-legged on the sand with a large green net spread out around him.
Jessie shields her eyes with her hand and blinks into the distance. ‘That’s the net I found yesterday. I think he’s trying to fix it. Do you know if there’s anything to eat? We finished all my Pringles last night and I’m starving.’
‘I don’t know. I think we ate all the fish yesterday. Anyway, look, Jess, I um… I need your opinion on something. Was I out of order last night? With Honor. Because, if so—’
He’s interrupted by a rustling from the jungle. Anuman appears between the trees, his arms loaded with bananas, mangos and coconuts.
‘Oh my God!’ Jessie leaps to her feet and charges over to their host. ‘Talk about heaven!’
Danny trudges after her, stomach rumbling. An idea forms in his mind as he reaches out and takes a bunch of bananas, a mango and a coconut from Anuman’s towering pile. Maybe he could prepare a fresh fruit cocktail for Honor. If he borrowed Jeffers’ knife he could chop it all up and serve it to her in half a coconut shell. It would be worth it for a smile. She might even look at him the way she used to. He reaches for another piece of fruit but, as he does, Jessie lets out a little shriek of surprise.
‘Jess?’ He looks from her to their guide and immediately spots what’s wrong. The whole right side of Anuman’s face has suddenly sagged, as though his skin has melted, pulling down the side of his mouth and eye. Their guide’s arms go slack and he drops the fruit. Danny jumps back as a coconut lands beside his foot.
‘Anuman! Are you OK?’ he asks as another coconut falls to the sand, then several bunches of bananas and half a dozen mangos. Anuman stumbles towards him, lips moving. Nothing he’s saying makes sense. It’s a series of nonsensical sounds.
‘Anuman?’ Jessie says, her voice high and tight. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
She leaps forward, grabbing the older man as he tips to the side. ‘Help me!’ she shouts but Danny can’t move. He feels as though someone has screwed his feet through the sand and deep into the earth.
‘Danny!’ Jessie cries as she awkwardly lowers Anuman onto the sand. His eyes are closed and he’s not moving. ‘We need to get him back to the mainland. Now! I think he’s having a stroke.’
Danny doesn’t reply. He feels as though he’s watching the scene before him play out on a movie screen.
‘Danny!’ Jessie shouts again. ‘You need to help me carry him down to the boat. Now!’
Danny takes a step backwards. He can’t do it. He can’t even look at Anuman.
‘Jeffers!’ Jessie shouts. ‘Jeffers, help!’
But Jefferson is already speeding down the beach towards them, his green fishing net abandoned and flapping and twisting in the breeze.
Chapter 7
JESSIE
Anuman is small and light but it takes for ever to carry him across the sand to the boat, tethered at the shore. The sand is dry and my feet keep slipping as I walk sideways, crab-like, bearing the weight of his legs while Jeffers holds him under the armpits. Meg speeds past us shouting something about looking for a medical kit. Honor and Milo are back in the shelter, arguing about what we should do. Milo thinks we should abandon our stuff and just leave, while Honor thinks we should pack it up and take it with us. Danny seems completely oblivious to their argument. He’s still standing by the spot where Anuman fell, staring into space. Meg reaches the boat and clambers inside. It rocks back and forth as she slithers into it then she’s up on her knees, scrabbling around looking under the wooden seats. As we draw closer she shouts something but I can’t make out what she’s
saying. I’m worried about Anuman. He hasn’t moved or opened his eyes since he collapsed and now his mouth is hanging open. We need to get him in the boat and back to the mainland as quickly as we can. There’ll be a hospital there, and people who can help him.
‘Is he still alive?’ I ask Jeffers as we wade into the sea.
I’m too scared to look at Anuman’s chest in case it’s not moving.
‘I don’t know,’ Jeffers says. And there it is, my worst fear, reflected back in his eyes.
Somehow, we manage to lift Anuman’s limp body into the long, narrow boat, then Meg scoots over to the diesel engine at one end as Jeffers shouts instructions at her. I remain in the sea, watching. When Milo shouts my name I turn to see him and Honor sprinting down the beach towards us, waving their arms frantically. Back at the shelter Danny still hasn’t moved.
Jeffers is watching him too. ‘He needs to get a move on or we’ll have to leave him behind. We need to get going now.’
I want to tell him that I’ll go and get him but I’m shaking so much that when I open my mouth to speak, my teeth chatter together. Even my heart seems to be vibrating in my chest. And I can’t breathe. I can’t get enough air in my lungs. I feel hot and faint and like I’m going to die.
‘Oh God,’ Jeffers says under his breath then, louder. ‘Jessie! Jessie, it’s OK. Take deep breaths. You’re having a panic attack. Meg, just pull the starter cord.’
‘I can’t find it!’
‘Oh for God’s sake. I’ll do it. You look after Jessie.’
I hear a splash as Meg jumps out of the boat and then she and Honor peer into my face asking me if I’m OK and Milo’s got his arm around my shoulder and I just want them all to go away. There’s not enough air. I can’t breathe. And I’m so hot. I’m so hot I feel faint.
‘Um… guys.’ Jefferson’s shout cuts the incessant pounding of my blood in my ears. ‘It doesn’t look like we’re going—’
He doesn’t finish his sentence. Instead he drops to his knees and disappears from view.
‘Jeffers?’ Meg says. She takes a step away from me, heading back towards the boat.
‘What’s going on?’ Honor breathes.
Milo, still holding me close, looks conflicted. He wants to stay with me but a bigger part of him wants to find out what Jeffers is doing in the boat.
‘Try the pulse in his neck,’ Meg says as she leans over the side of the boat.
‘I’ve tried that.’ Jefferson’s disembodied voice floats back towards us. ‘I’ve tried both his wrists too. I can’t… I can’t find a pulse.’
‘Let me try.’
‘I’m telling you, there’s no pulse!’
‘So we do CPR. We… we…’ Meg’s voice cracks. ‘Jeffers, stop staring at me like that! We’ve got to do something. We’ve got to try.’
‘It’s too late.’
‘No it’s not. It’s not. Do CPR! For God’s sake, Jeffers. We can’t let him die.’
There’s a pause that seems to last a lifetime then Jefferson says, ‘It’s too late, Meg. Anuman is dead.’
‘No,’ I murmur. ‘No. No. No. No.’
‘Jessie?’ Milo says as I pull away from him. ‘Jessie, wait!’
My bare feet pound the sand and my lungs burn as I speed down the beach. I don’t stop when I reach the rocks at the far end. I clamber up them, the sharp planes scratching my palms and the soles of my feet. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. The chant plays out in my head as I continue to climb. I reach the edge of the rocks and stare down at the sea, crashing and splashing below me. There’s nowhere left to run. My chest’s burning with the scream that’s been building since Anuman’s face drooped on one side but, when I open my lips, nothing comes out.
I sit on the rocks, staring out to sea until my breathing slows and my hands stop shaking then I scrabble to my feet and walk back along the sand to the boat. Someone’s put a tarpaulin over Anuman but it’s not big enough to completely cover him. The sight of his brown, worn boots, sticking out of the bottom, almost makes me turn back but I force myself to keep walking closer. Honor is sitting on the sand, her knees gathered to her chest, her head in her hands, sobbing quietly. Danny is beside her, his arm around her shoulders, his face chalky. Our eyes meet as he turns to look at me and something passes between us – shock, pain, disbelief – before he turns back and nestles his head against Honor’s.
‘Honor,’ I say softly. ‘Are you OK?’
She shakes her head mutely.
My gaze drifts back to the boat and the boots sticking out from the tarpaulin. I want to believe that Jefferson was wrong, that Anuman is just unconscious and in a second, a minute, an hour, he’ll throw back his waterproof covering and ask us why we’ve abandoned the fire. But that’s not going to happen. We’re never going to hear his soft lilting voice again.
‘It must. It must be so hard…’ Honor looks up at me, her face streaked with tears. ‘For you, Jessie. To see… to see what happened to Anuman, I mean… because…’ she tails off, unsure how to finish her sentence. I’m grateful for her awkwardness. The last thing I want to talk about right now is Tom.
‘I liked him,’ Danny says and for a second I don’t know if he’s talking about our guide or my brother. ‘He was really patient with me yesterday, when I was trying to start the fire. And he… he put up with all Jefferson’s know-it-all shit too.’
The smallest of smiles creeps onto Honor’s face. ‘He was so nice. He was telling me yesterday about his wife Boonsri and how her name means beautiful and how, even at sixty-three years old, she’s still the most beautiful woman he’s ever met and—’ her voice breaks and she presses her face into Danny’s shoulder again, her body shaking as she sobs. I press a hand to my chest. I feel as though someone just slid a piece of glass into my heart.
As Danny hugs her close I wander over to Meg, Milo and Jefferson, huddled together beside the boat, up to their knees in seawater, talking softly. Jefferson turns as I approach.
‘Are you OK, Jessie?’
‘Yeah,’ I lie.
‘We think it was a stroke,’ Meg says. The sun is beating down on us but she’s got her arms wrapped around her body like we’re in the Arctic.
‘It happened so quickly,’ Milo says. ‘He seemed fine yesterday. He was whacking down trees and hoisting them onto his shoulder; he was fitter than all of us put together. It just… it doesn’t make sense. How can someone like that just… just die?’ He swallows and turns away, lightly shaking his head. He can’t believe what’s happened. None of us can.
‘A man his age shouldn’t have been chopping down trees and sleeping on the ground with a bunch of teenagers,’ I say. ‘He should have been at home, with his family, he should have been retired, enjoying life—’ The word catches in my throat and I take a steadying breath.
Meg rests her hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. ‘You know there was nothing we could have done. Don’t you, Jessie?’
She means well but her words send a shiver through me. I’ve heard that phrase before.
‘Wasn’t there?’ I ask.
‘If anyone should feel guilty it should be me,’ Jefferson says. ‘This was my birthday present. It was—’
‘Stop it,’ Meg says. ‘Guys, please. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was a stroke. It could have happened anywhere, at any time.’
‘We should bury him,’ Jefferson says. ‘It’s the respectful thing to do.’
‘No.’ Meg shakes her head firmly. ‘His family… they’ll want to pay their respects.’
‘Meg’s right,’ I say. ‘He’s got a big family – a wife, three children and seven grandchildren. We can’t bury him, that’s not our decision to make. We need to take him back with us.’
‘My dad will help,’ Jefferson says. ‘He’ll make sure his family are well looked after.’
‘We’ll all ask our parents to contribute,’ Milo says.
Everyone nods and then we lapse into silence, lost in our own thoughts.
&nbs
p; ‘Can we go then?’ Meg asks.
‘Go?’ Jefferson looks confused.
‘Back to the mainland. You can drive the boat, can’t you?’
He shakes his head.
‘’Course you can,’ Milo says. ‘You just pull the starter cord and steer with the handle thing.’
‘It’s called a…’ Jeffers shakes his head sharply. ‘Doesn’t matter. We’re not taking the boat anywhere.’
‘But why not?’ I say. ‘Do you think it’s too dangerous? Or—’
‘Jessie,’ Jeffers says. ‘We can’t start the engine because the starter cord is gone.’
We’ve all been sitting around the fire for a good hour or so now: Danny and Honor locked together as they stare listlessly into the flames, Milo and Meg talking softly and Jefferson and I discussing what we do now. With no starter cord the boat’s as good as useless. There are no paddles and, even if there were, this island is so remote it could take hours and hours for us to get back to the mainland, and that’s assuming we didn’t drift off course.
‘Are you sure it was cut?’ I ask Jeffers. ‘It didn’t just snap off?’
‘There’s no way. It wasn’t worn or fraying. Someone cut it, probably with a knife.’
‘What was that?’ Milo breaks off from his conversation with Meg and leans round me to look at Jeffers. ‘You think someone deliberately cut the starter cord?’
‘Seriously?’ Meg says. ‘Who would do that and leave us stranded here?’
Jeffers shrugs. ‘I’ve got no idea.’
Honor, sitting on the other side of the fire, pulls away from Danny and turns to look towards the jungle. She runs her hands over her arms then hugs herself tightly. ‘Do you think there’s someone else here? Other people on the island?’
Jefferson shakes his head. ‘Unlikely. It’s a private island. My dad rented it for the week on the proviso that we’re the only ones staying here. The owner’s security firm will have checked it out before we arrived.’
‘But there’s a chance we’re not alone,’ I say. ‘If someone turned up after the security guys left and we arrived? We don’t even know what the other side of the island looks like, never mind whether there are other people on it.’
