Wait. She thinks Charles trying to take Daddy’s place is the problem? And what did she fear Olivia would take too far?
“Have you considered getting her counseling?”
“I mentioned it about a year ago, but Charles had a fit.” Mom shook her head. “He hated the idea and forbade me to pursue it.” She smacked her pointer finger against her open palm.
I’ll bet he did. No way he’d let someone go digging around in Olivia’s head, unearthing dirty memories and dark secrets, revealing him as a monster. She’d heard enough. Olivia pulled her shirt down to cover her belly, squared her shoulders, and breezed into the kitchen like nothing was amiss. “What’s up?” she signed to Jake and then went right to the fridge and grabbed a Coke. “I’m thirsty.” She drew a line down her throat with her pointer finger.
Mom sighed and rubbed her temples—not too hard though. Of course she wouldn’t want to bring back the wrinkles she’d recently had removed. “Care to tell me what happened tonight?”
“Oh, the party?” Olivia gave a sheepish grin as she signed her words toward Jake. “I just did something stupid. It’s no big deal. It was my first time—you could even ask Jordyn. I probably looked like a complete dummy. She could have taught me a thing or two.”
“Oh?” Mom raised an eyebrow. “So maybe you’re spending too much time with Jordyn, then?”
Oops. Backtrack. “No. No. It’s not her fault. I know I’m responsible for my own choices. I made a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
“Okay. I’m counting on that.” Mom smiled and took a sip from Olivia’s can.
Phew. That wasn’t so bad. Would Mom really let it go that easily? Olivia took a long drink and waited for more.
“So I was thinking.” Mom’s eyes shifted from Olivia to Jake. “How about we go to church on Sunday?”
Olivia sputtered and almost spit out her Coke. “Church?” Where’d that come from?
“I ran into Jodie Swinley at the mall today. She said that she and Pastor Tom were doing great, and the church has grown a lot since we were there a few years ago.”
“I don’t know, Mom.” Jake shook his head. “What’s the point? I’m going to be leaving in a few days. I plan to find a church when I get to Michigan.”
“Yeah, I’m with Jake.” Olivia grimaced. “I don’t think it’s a great idea.” Church was the last place she wanted to go. And what if Charles went with them and she was forced to act like they were a happy family? Eww. “Who wants to get up that early anyway?”
“Well, it was only a thought.” Mom pulled them both into a hug. “I just want you guys to stay on the right path. Maybe church would help. Promise me you’ll think about it.”
Jake nodded; then his eyes darted to Olivia. “On second thought, maybe we should go. Not like it would kill us.”
“I promise I’ll think about it.” Sorry, not happening.
“I’m packed up and ready to go.” Jake stood in Olivia’s doorway with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He looked so tall and grown-up standing there—like a man.
“You’re headed out, huh?” Olivia tried to sound lighthearted, even though her heart was breaking.
“Yeah, Coach wants us there for a meeting today, so I have to leave now.” His eyes traveled to the floor. “I’m going to miss you, Liv.”
Olivia nodded but couldn’t look at him for fear of crying again. What would she do without him? How could he leave her? Didn’t he know how scary every day of her life was? Then again, how could he know if she didn’t tell him?
Jake loved her. Olivia had no doubt about that. Maybe she should tell him. Right now. Before he left and it was too late. No way he’d leave if he knew the truth about Charles and what had been going on the past few years.
She lifted her face and turned to her brother with every intention of blurting out the horrible truth. But there he stood, looking every bit like a panting golden retriever in his Michigan sweatshirt with a basketball tucked under his lanky arm. He couldn’t wait to get to school and play college ball. He was so excited, and he deserved it. She couldn’t selfishly ruin it for him, no matter what it meant for her. Olivia loved her brother more than life itself. He needed this, and her pride for him was far stronger than her fear for herself.
“Play for me?” Jake gestured to the oboe near the music stand in the center of the room and made the sign for song.
Olivia laughed. “I’ve never understood why you like to watch me play. You can’t even hear the music.” She went to the chair and sat down on the edge, her back straight and her oboe poised.
Jake shook his head. “No. But I can feel it.” He had tried to explain many times how he felt the strains of the melody floating through the air and rising up from the floorboards. “Mostly, though, it’s the look you get on your face that speaks to me. It’s when you’re the happiest, and that’s the sight I want to take with me.”
Olivia placed the reed between her lips and closed her eyes as she began to play the piece she’d been working on: “Adagio for Oboe Concerto in D Minor.” She swayed lightly to the swells of the song—felt every note in her soul. As the last melodic breath faded away, she opened her eyes.
Jake was gone.
Chapter 4
Only hundred-dollar bills? There had to be a dozen in Mom’s wallet. Would she notice if one disappeared? Olivia thumbed through the cash, hoping to find a twenty. Her gaze darted toward the bathroom door. Once that shower stopped, her decision time would be over. Mom had given Olivia her fifty-dollar weekly allowance earlier that day, but it needed to cover lunch at school plus extras for the whole week. Jordyn said a case of beer cost close to twenty dollars. Her friends would probably want a couple of those.
Mom would never miss a mere hundred bucks. If she did, she’d just assume she’d spent it somewhere and forgotten about it. She could drop that much over lunch and not even blink an eye.
Olivia shifted from one foot to the other. Her friends waited in the driveway, and Olivia really wanted to be gone before Mom got out of the shower and before Chuck got home. The thought of seeing Charles made her shudder—plus he’d probably embarrass her in front of her friends by saying something stupid or acting really nice to them.
Just do it!
Olivia plucked a bill from her mom’s wallet and shoved the money into the front pocket of her jeans. Snap. Wallet closed, she put it back in Mom’s bag, tightened the turquoise leather drawstring, and draped the strap across the purse exactly like it had been before she opened it. Hurrying from the room, she let the door softly close behind her and waited until it clicked before she finally gasped for air. Amateur! Hardened criminals didn’t forget to breathe.
Oh boy. She’d just stolen money from her own mother. She’d really crossed a line this time. What if she got caught? Not like it mattered. Mom couldn’t really do anything to her. Could she? Visions of her laptop, her car privileges, and her recent freedom all flashed before Olivia’s eyes. Okay, so Mom could do something. But Olivia wouldn’t get caught—she’d make sure of it.
The rush of running water turned to a trickle then slowed to drips. Time to get out of here.
Olivia hurried down the stairs, an overnight bag hanging from her shoulder. She’d be sleeping at Jordyn’s again. Or so she’d told Mom. If it turned out to be anything like the last party a few weeks ago, there’d be no sleeping. And at least with Jake away at college, there’d be no chance of an unpleasant encounter, like when he caught her drinking at that very first kegger.
Olivia stepped onto the front porch and grinned at her friends as she pulled the towering front door closed behind her. She could already hear the bass thundering from the cloth-top Jeep. Jordyn, in the driver’s seat, danced and bobbed her head to the beat. Tara’s red hair fanned out across the backseat next to Bailey’s shiny black hair. Who was that scrunched next to Bailey?
Olivia settled into the passenger seat and turned around. “Hi, I’m Olivia.”
“Hey. I’m Emma, Bailey’s sister.”
“Hurry. Go. Go. Go.” Olivia turned and put her hand on the seat behind her, pretending to talk to the girls so Charles wouldn’t expect her to wave. “What’s he doing?”
“He never even glanced at us.” Jordyn sounded confused. “What’s your problem?”
Olivia waited until they rounded the curve that took them out of sight of the house. Phew. “No problem. At least not now.” She unrolled her window a little and let the fresh air flow across her face.
“Um”—Emma turned backward in her seat and peered out the back window—”I just have to say, your dad is gorgeous.”
Olivia shuddered. “He’s my stepdad, and he’s disgusting.”
“I don’t know, Liv. He really is cute.” Bailey winked. “That spiky brown hair. Those dark eyes and huge muscles.”
Gross. Were they serious? “Trust me. You want to stay as far away from him as you can.” Olivia looked each girl in the eye. “Promise me?”
“Okay. Okay.” Bailey laughed. “Someone’s sensitive about her stepdaddy.”
Tara grinned. “He’s not my type anyway.”
“Yeah, me neither.” Jordyn flipped down the visor and checked her teeth in the mirror.
Olivia couldn’t help but notice that Emma eyed her a little longer than the rest. Did she suspect? Surely not. But it would be a good time to change the subject. “Can we take the top off the Jeep?”
“Yeah.” Emma leaned forward between the front seats. “It is kind of stuffy back here. My little sister’s big rear end is taking up so much room.”
“Ha. Nice try! You couldn’t fit into my jeans if your life depended on it.” Bailey crossed her arms in mock protest.
“Settle down, you two. Don’t make me come back there.” Jordyn peered into the rearview mirror. “We could take the top off, but October nights get really cold and it’s hard to put back on in the dark. I’ll just kick on the AC a little bit.”
“Yeah,” Tara piped up. “Can you see us five, totally buzzed, trying to get this top on at two in the morning?”
“Speaking of buzzed”—Jordyn peeked at Olivia—”we’re good for an ID.” She gestured her thumb at Emma. “But we’re counting on you for the funds. How did that go?”
“Well …” Olivia plastered on a sad face and reached into her pocket. “I could only get this.” She pulled out one crumpled bill and smoothed it on her leg before waving it in the air with a grin.
“A hundred bucks?” Bailey bounced on her seat.
“That will buy some great stuff. How much of it can we use?” Emma fished out a cigarette and tipped the pack toward Olivia.
“As much as you want. Use it up. Let’s have fun.” Might as well go all the way. If she got caught, Olivia wouldn’t be in any less trouble if they spent only half of it. She took a cigarette from Emma’s pack and pressed in the car lighter.
“Yeah, don’t forget we’re buying for Aaron and Brett, too.” Jordyn turned into the parking lot of Discount Liquors. The Jeep bounced as she ran one tire over the curb before pulling into a spot. Olivia scooted out and flipped the seat forward and held it while Emma unfolded her long legs from the backseat.
“You’d think you guys would show a little more respect to the one with the ID and let me sit in front.” Emma climbed over Bailey’s legs and wedged herself between the front seat and the door.
“Well, it’s my car. I have to drive.” Jordyn put up her hands. Olivia waved the money. “And I have the cash.”
“Point taken.” Emma snatched it from Olivia and straightened her clothes then set off toward the store.
“Don’t forget smokes!” Jordyn shouted.
“I hope they don’t give her any trouble.” Olivia shielded her eyes from the setting sun and watched Emma enter the store.
“She’ll be fine. Emma totally looks older than nineteen. Plus her ID is perfect.” Jordyn got back in her seat and took out a nail file.
Olivia nipped at a hangnail and tapped her feet on the floor mat. She turned down the radio—then Jordyn turned it up. The wait dragged on forever. “It’s been like fifteen minutes, you guys. Should we go in there?” Olivia didn’t understand how they could be so calm. She expected a police car to careen into the lot with lights blazing and sirens blaring any minute.
“No way! Are you nuts? They’ll definitely question her if we’re hanging around.” Bailey shook her head. “Besides, she’s never had any trouble before.”
“Here she comes.” Tara pointed at the front of the store, where Emma pushed a full shopping cart through the automatic doors.
“Phew. I was getting worried.” Olivia pretended to wipe sweat from above her eyebrow.
Jordyn chuckled. “You need to lighten up, girlie.”
The four girls scampered from the car. Jordyn yanked open the back hatch while they waited for Emma to navigate the heavy basket up the sloped parking lot.
With the shopping cart pressed against the Jeep’s bumper, they loaded the car. The four cases of beer barely fit in the tiny space behind the backseat. “We’ll never drink all of this.” Olivia shook her head at their stash. They’d bought way too much alcohol. What if someone got sick—or worse—like in those videos they showed at school?
Olivia bit her lower lip. What if she did something stupid? Maybe she should just back out now—before she did something she’d regret … before it was too late.
“Sure we will, or we’ll share. Best way to get reinvited to a party is to show up with extra booze.” Emma tossed a pack of cigarettes to each girl.
Olivia stared at the little box in her hand. It seemed much more serious to have her own pack rather than to bum a single cig off a friend now and then. Having her own sort of meant she’d crossed a line and become a real smoker. Did she want to be one? Money wasn’t really her concern. She got a nice allowance, and there seemed to be an endless supply of money in Mom’s purse—Olivia simply needed to help herself when her allowance ran out. Was it the health aspect? No. She didn’t care about that—having fun was all that mattered. Did she find smoking fun? Not exactly. It tasted gross and smelled horrible. So why did she do it? Olivia tapped the cigarette on the dashboard then raised it to her lips along with the lighter. She flicked the flame to life and drew a smoky breath into her lungs.
Because it felt good—that’s why. It felt good to go against the stream, do bad things—at least these days it did. Plus it calmed her down and gave her confidence. She felt cool with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. Leaning her head back on the seat, she let the wind from the half-open window blow onto her face and whip her hair around in swirls. She blew the smoke out into the wind and watched it disappear, wishing she could follow.
The security monitor beeped as it came out of hibernation mode, signaling a car had approached the front gate. Mom and Charles were gone for the day, so Olivia would have to get it. She groaned and leaned out from her bed to peek at the tiny display on her nightstand. She couldn’t quite make out the driver, so she squinted harder at the screen. She grabbed her head, hoping to quell the throbbing as the nausea rose in her stomach—a clear reminder of the party the night before.
Jodie Swinley? No mistaking her long brown 1980s permed hair with the poodle pouf on top. What was her former pastor’s wife doing here? Olivia hadn’t spoken to Jodie since the last time she attended youth group around Christmas three years ago. Mom said she’d run into her a week or so ago but hadn’t said anything about her coming by.
Ugh. Perfect timing. Olivia pulled her pillow over her head. She could just ignore the beep.
But Jodie pressed the buzzer again. Then again. It appeared she wasn’t planning to go away.
Olivia groaned as she leaned from her bed to press the button to open the gate. She only had a minute or two while Jodie waited for the iron doors to creak open so she could squeeze her car throug
h and then make the drive up the long, winding driveway.
What could Olivia do to make herself presentable in a couple of minutes? She slid from her bed and hurried to the bathroom. While she brushed her teeth, she ran a comb through her messy and most likely smoky hair. She fumbled in the medicine cabinet for aspirin, which she popped into her mouth and guzzled down with a full glass of water. Her skin looked ghostly, but that couldn’t be helped. She’d run out of time. A quick spritz of lavender body spray, and then Olivia slunk down the stairs just in time to hear Jodie’s knock.
“Hi, Olivia.” She reached out and pulled Olivia into a tight embrace.
Did Jodie actually stiffen at the sight and smell of her, or was that only Olivia’s imagination? “Hey, Jodie.” Olivia hugged her back, hoping it was still okay to call her Jodie. “I haven’t seen you in, like, forever. What brings you by Chez Whitford?” She stifled a yawn, which only made her head throb harder. Come on, aspirin; do your trick.
“Oh, I saw your mom out shopping the other day, and then we spoke on the phone yesterday. Didn’t she tell you? I thought I’d come by to visit with you for a little bit.” She raised her eyebrows. “Judging by the eye roll, it looks like things might not be going so well?”
Olivia stepped back to let her into the foyer. “Mom told you stuff about me, huh?” Her voice echoed across the marble floors and up the spiral staircase to the three-story ceiling.
“She’s a little concerned about you.” Jodie followed Olivia into the den and perched on the edge of a sofa.
“Trust me. She’s not worried about me.” Olivia whipped her head side to side. Her brain felt like it bounced inside her skull like a pinball. She fought the urge to rub her temples. “Mom just doesn’t know how to keep me from messing up her perfect world.”
Wishing Pearl Page 4
