“You already did,” I growl impatiently.
“Not because I wanted to!”
“Right. You left because you were forced? Please. You told yourself, us, that it was because the boys deserved better than you. You left because you thought life would be better. That without the burden” —I use finger quotes— “of those two boys weighing you down, you’d be able to have everything you wanted. Guess what, Heather. Life isn’t built on material things. On lonely experiences. It’s built on life. On the lives in your own. On the relationships you build. On the love you show others and receive in return. Life isn’t about having the best car or the most stylish clothes, or having your nails done and your hair blown out all the time. It’s not about the house you live in, so yeah, go ahead. Take the cabin. Our family built memories that stand longer than the building itself.” I pause and make sure she’s looking me in the eye.
“One day, Heather, and listen to me and listen now because I’m not going to be gracious enough to say this again. You’re going to look back on this and wonder what the hell you were thinking. You’re going to miss seeing them play sports and graduate, build friendships and fall in love, go to college and become adults. You’re going to miss their weddings, their children being born. You’re going to miss all of it, and for what? For a few months in the sack with some dillhole who can’t support the fact that you’re a mom? But you know what? I’ll be there for all of it. Because I will always know that they are more important to me than anything else. I don’t need some cabin to understand what family is. I don’t need it to make memories and feel whole.”
By the time I’m finished speaking, Heather’s cheeks are streaked with tears, and my chest is heaving. I pray that I didn’t say enough to make her change her mind, but at the same time, I hope I did. The boys deserve to have their mom in their lives, just not the one they currently have.
“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “Keep the cabin. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I just wanted...”
“To hurt me,” I finish for her.
She nods. “I was upset.”
“I would ask why, but I’m done trying to figure you out.”
“It’s just… when I heard…”
“You heard what?”
“You moved on, and I guess — I don’t know.”
“You thought I would pine for you forever?”
She shrugs her shoulders, and I roll my eyes. Not even going there.
Not worth any of our time, and I want this shit done.
“You got that change in writing?” I nod over to the mediator, making sure that she got it down that Heather’s no longer taking the cabin.
“Yes, Mr. Simpson. I have it down. You will have full custody of Reece and Aidan. Heather also has given up any rights to visitation, and as per her recent change, the cabin is once again yours. Because the cabin change was something she was including late and hadn’t been expressed to the courts, only told you, the original settlement drawn up is accurate.”
I nod my head, feeling the weight of a million elephants lifted off my chest for the first time since I walked in on her with Preston. Also a little annoyed that I hadn’t even realized she was trying to get the cabin without going through our lawyers.
“That’s it?” I ask her.
She looks up from the papers and lifts her pen before signing, nodding her head but not looking directly at me.
“I can’t be what they deserve,” she admits sadly.
“Heather. You need to understand what you’re doing,” her lawyer interrupts in a strange moment of clarity. At least he listened to the words that came out of my mouth.
“He’s right, Heather. Do you fully understand what you’re doing? You’ll never be able to have a relationship with your sons again. If you change your mind, and Andy sticks to this agreement, you have no rights.” Even Lynn can’t believe she’s just signing her rights away. The boys are fourteen. They need their mother.
“I understand,” she sniffles.
“I don’t think you do, honey,” Lynn says, reaching her hand across the table to cover hers, stopping her from signing. The way this meeting started, with Heather being such a conniver, I never anticipated it ending with my lawyer trying to make her see the light of day. But Lynn’s a mother herself. She knows exactly what Heather is giving up.
“I do. I’ve thought about it a lot. Andy, you’ve always been the better parent.”
My control is threatening to snap. I feel like I’m the ball in a terrible game of pinball, my thoughts going back and forth between wanting her to sign the papers and releasing me and not giving up on her boys, on being a mother. “It’s not a competition, Heather!”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “I know that. But I also know that I’ve never been the mother they deserve.” I open my mouth to object, even though it would be a lie, but she stops me by putting her hand up. “You know it’s true. And everything you just said? As sick as it is to admit, the thing that made me sad is that none of it bothers me to miss. They deserve better than me.”
I decide to say nothing and let her continue talking.
I can’t argue with what she just said.
She has tears streaming down her face but still she reaches and picks up the pen, her hand hovering over the papers, poised and ready to sign. I’ve already signed so we’re just waiting on her.
I sit with my mouth gaping, hardly being able to believe that she’s actually signing away her rights.
“Aidan and Reece? They are good boys. They are worth so much more than having me for a mother. They deserve someone who is willing to give up everything for them. I have one request.” She swallows and looks away, setting down the pen. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest I can feel my pulse pounding in my neck. She leans down and pulls two envelopes out of her purse and slides them across the table to me. Each one bears the name of one of the boys. I stare at them for a few beats before reaching out and pulling them to me.
“I want you to give these to the boys, whenever you’re ready or whenever you think they’re ready. I know you’ll read them first, because that’s what a good dad does. But I want you to promise me you’ll give them these letters.”
“I can do that.” I promise this knowing, even though she’s not a great mom, she still loves them. In some weird and twisted way. She would never do something that would hurt them, or say something in a letter that would mess them up any further. Her walking away at this point proves that. But she’s right. I’ll read them before I give them over. Because even though I believe her intentions are good, I still don’t trust her.
“Thank you, Andy.”
She looks down and takes a deep breath, signs the papers, and then stands up and walks out of the room without a backward glance.
22
Christine
“It’s done.” Andy’s voice carries over the phone, and I wish I were next to him, being able to see his face, hold his hand.
“She signed?” I can hardly believe it.
“She did. I thought it was going to be ugly at first.”
“What’d she do?”
“She gave back the cabin.”
“What?” I ask, hardly believing it.
“Yeah. She had a change of heart, I guess. But the boys are officially mine, and she has no legal ties to them, so…” The sound of his voice breaks my heart. I know he’s sad that she couldn’t see what she would be missing out on. Not for himself, for his boys.
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“Me, too. I don’t understand what she’s thinking.”
“Me either. I couldn’t walk away from them,” I admit quietly.
“Just them?”
“Well, you three,” I amend.
“Happy to hear that.”
“Yeah?”
My heart is racing, my nerves kicking up at admitting it, even though I’m sure he knows, but he needs to hear those words at the moment, especially after what he just went through.
>
“Oh, yeah.”
“Best thing that came out of this was you,” his voice is rumbly in my ear and causes my body to tingle.
My smile could be seen from the moon.
I hum in response rather than say something embarrassing, and he chuckles.
It’s low and makes my stomach flutter.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
I smile into the receiver. “No plans, yet.”
“Don’t make any. The boys and I want to take you somewhere. I think they knew they would need a distraction after today.”
“You guys want to take me somewhere?”
“Well, honest moment. It’s not really something I want to do. But the boys want to go.”
“What’s that?”
“They want to take you to this ridiculously dumb haunted house that apparently is so awesome it can’t be contained to just Halloween, so it’s opening for two weeks at the end of spring for people willing to test it out, whatever that means. It’s a new one, and they’re using some new pyrotechnics. The boys found out about it online, of course. The goal is to get people talking about it until it actually opens, or something like that. Apparently, there are some complete freaks out there who actually like this sort of shit and want to be scared. Which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of but…”
“They?” I interrupt, not caring about when the haunted house is but latched onto hearing that the boys were wanting to include me.
“Are you going to just keep asking questions?”
“Well, you’re not exactly giving me much information.”
“I don’t really like getting scared,” he murmurs.
I can’t help it — a bubble of laughter bursts out of me.
“Are you serious?”
“Oh, I’m dead serious.”
“You do know the purpose of haunted houses is to be scared, right?”
“Oh, I know. Trust me. But the boys love it. They can’t get enough. And they begged me to call you so you could come along.”
My heart is so full with that one sentence.
“Really?”
“You mean the world to us, Christine.
Us.
“Ditto.”
“Tomorrow. Be ready. You better wear flats because you could end up carrying me on your back out of there.”
“You’re really that scared?”
“I didn’t say I am scared. I said I hate being scared,” he says like that’s any different.
“I have a feeling this is going to be fun.”
“You like haunted houses?”
“Not like. Love. I love them.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing! They’re so much fun! The unexpected, the constant wondering when someone’s going to jump out at you. The thrill of wondering if you’re going to pee yourself?”
“You’re not selling it,” he chuckles.
“We’re really going? Tomorrow night?”
“Yes.” He sighs. “If we must.”
“We must.”
“I have a feeling you three are always going to gang up on me,” he murmurs.
My entire body warms at his words.
“And then I get you to myself. You promised me another date, remember?”
“How could I forget? Prettiest ugly cake I’ve ever seen in my life got you unlimited date nights.”
He chuckles, but it sounds distant.
“Are you okay?” I ask him, directing us back to his initial reason for calling me.
“I am. I hate it for the boys. She gave me letters for them. I haven’t read them, yet. I’m not ready, and neither are they. I need to tell them.”
“But…”
“How do you tell your boys that their own mother doesn’t want them?”
I choose my words carefully and speak barely above a whisper. “Well, it’s not like they don’t know. They already heard it from her,” I remind him.
“Yes, but this is final, you know?”
“I know. So, you do it like you’ve done everything the last several months. With gentleness, honesty, and love. You make sure they know it’s her loss, that it has nothing to do with them. And at least you get to tell them that she changed her mind about the cabin.”
“Silver lining, yeah?”
“Exactly.”
“I would ask you to be there but…”
“No. You’re right. You need to do this yourself.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“Why would it? It’s not about me, Andy.”
“I’m lucky to have you.”
“Feeling’s mutual.”
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You will.”
“Can’t wait.”
23
Andy
I have a confession to make. When I said, I don’t really like getting scared, what I meant was I’m terrified of being scared. It not only frightens the ever-loving shit out of me, but it pisses me off. But at the same time, I actually enjoy going to haunted houses, mainly because the boys have so much fun. Then again, I did stay with my cheating wife for several years after I suspected she was a cheater. So maybe I’m just a masochist.
Last night, I sat the boys down and told them that the divorce was final and let them know that she gave us back the cabin.
They were ecstatic about the cabin but weren’t bothered by the fact that we were divorced. They simply asked if that meant everything was officially done and she couldn’t take them away from me. When I assured them that we were together for good, they smiled and said that’s all they cared about.
I had expected the worst.
And I got the best.
I zip up my black sweatshirt as I make my way up the steps to Christine’s house. It might be the middle of spring, but Michigan nights can still get chilly. And the cold snap we’re going through right now feels more like early fall. Which is probably appropriate for going into the death trap the boys convinced me was a good idea. My nerves are already kicking in, and I wonder if it’s from seeing her, or knowing that in about thirty minutes, I’ll be screaming like a girl in front of her.
My hand is raised, about to knock on her door, when it suddenly opens. A very excited Christine stands on the other side, bouncing on her toes. I can’t help it. My eyes have a mind of their own, and right now they desperately want to take in every inch of her. She’s wearing another pair of skinny jeans, this time light-washed with holes in the knees and cuffed to show a little bit of her lower leg, same white Chucks she wore on our first date, and a maroon shirt under a thin gray zippered hoodie. Damn. Everything she wears makes her even more adorable.
Her dark hair is pulled into a high pony tail, and her bright green eyes meet mine when they finally make it up there from my completely shameless display of checking her out, shining with happiness. It almost makes me feel excited to go get the piss scared out of me. Almost.
“You ready?” she asks, smiling widely.
“As I’ll ever be,” I tell her honestly.
“You’re this big strong man, but a total wuss. I kinda love it,” she tells me, biting her bottom lip.
“You’re such a brat.”
“Watch it. While you’re rocking in the corner tonight like a whiny little girl, I’ll be the one saving your scared ass.”
“One thing very wrong with that.”
“What’s that?”
“No way in hell will I sit down and rock in the corner. I’ll be the one running so fast you’d think I could walk on water.”
She bursts out laughing, and I find myself a relaxing a tiny bit.
“Gotta pee before we go?”
“Nope. Just did. Do you?”
“Peed before I came. This isn’t my first rodeo, darling.”
“So, no pants peeing tonight, huh?”
“Well, the night is young. I make no promises. House locked?”
She turns around and locks the door then puts her keys in her purse. “Sur
e is!”
“Well then… your chariot awaits.” I throw a hand toward my pickup.
I open the door for her, and she climbs inside. As soon as she’s settled, she immediately turns around to greet the boys. Aidan and Reece invited their friend, Nolan. The three of them have been amped up for hours, ready to get their scare on. My boys, of course, know how much I hate it, so that makes them love it even more.
“Who’s this?” Christine asks as I climb in, obviously already greeting the boys.
“Our friend, Nolan.”
“Hey, Nolan, I’m Christine,” she says with a smile in her voice.
“Hey,” Nolan says with a little low wave. Where my boys are typically pretty outgoing, Nolan can be fairly shy until he gets to know someone. When he’s around just us, he’s crazy, funny, and a goofball. Christine must be making him slightly nervous. “My mom told me to tell you that she loves your coffee shop and your pastries are the best.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet! Tell her thank you for me… and to come in next week for a coffee on the house so I can meet her, okay?”
“’Kay.” He smiles, looking down at his hands.
Aidan stifles laughter and covers his smile with his fist, leaning against the side of the door. If I were in the mood, I would remind him that he was nervous around Christine at first, also. And still has quite the crush on Bri.
“How’d your day go, boys? Get all that yard work done?”
I’m a dad who requires my kids to do chores. I’m mean like that. And Nolan was over all day — they want to be big and strong, so I worked them today. Every time they complained about doing the work, I reminded them how Grady got big. He’ll be playing college ball soon, and he got where he is now from working hard, and not in the gym.
I’m not an awful person, though. I pay them for doing chores, and even Nolan got cash, and of course, tonight I’m taking them to the haunted house then out for supper.
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