Primal Impulse (Censored Edition)

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Primal Impulse (Censored Edition) Page 12

by Johnson, James


  * CENSORED *

  Chapter 35

  Jena turned into Steven’s embrace. Their lips came together with a gentle kiss.

  “Hot girl,” whispered Steven. “You’re my hot girl.”

  Steven pulled her tight against him and kissed her deeply. Their hungry tongues wrapped around each other. They could feel each other’s hot breath. They could feel the heat inside.

  “Come on, baby,” said Steven softly. “Let’s go to your bed.”

  Steven reached under her and picked her up. She wrapped herself around his shoulders. She could feel his strong arms. Jena felt like a princess as Steven carried her into the bedroom.

  Steven laid her down on the bed. He slid his shirt off over his head. Jena ran a hand over his muscular chest. It slid down his taunt stomach. A finger slipped beneath his jeans.

  “No, baby,” said Steven. “It’s about you right now. You relax and take your pleasure.”

  Steven unbuttoned her blouse. Jena leaned up as he removed it. She lay back down as Steven loosened her jeans. She arched her back as he slid them off of her.

  * CENSORED *

  Jena’s body was a dream that was his. For five nights they were King and Queen. Once again his queen was all laid out for him. She gave him an open door to come inside. She gave him a permanent ticket to enter the palace. She gave him unlimited access to the pleasures within. She offered herself to make his fantasies come alive. She was the Queen for the King to ride.

  Chapter 36

  * CENSORED *

  Jena exploded one final time. Her xx xx xx. Steven was xx xx xx. He was lost in his orgasm just as she was in hers. They were lost in each other. They were coming together in every sense. They had allowed their free bird to fly and now it was coming back home.

  It was beautiful. It was real. It was Steven and Jena taking off to a whole new level. They had shed the cloak of repressed sexuality. They were flying high. They were free.

  Chapter 37

  Jena opened her eyes. She had to get up to go to work. Then she remembered and felt a sense of relief. It was Saturday. She didn’t have to work today.

  Steven! That’s how she would spend her day. She rolled over to hold him. He wasn’t there. Where could he be?

  Then she heard a noise coming from the living room. It was a subtle tapping sound. He must be in there doing something. Jena got up to investigate.

  Jena put on her robe and walked into the living room. There he was. He was sitting in front of his computer tapping away. Maybe he was writing.

  “Good morning, baby,” she said. “You’re up early.”

  Steven stood and walked over to her. “Good morning, my hot girl.” He kissed her lips.

  Steven smiled. “Actually I’ve been up since 4 a.m.

  “What are doing, baby,” asked Jena. “Are you writing?”

  “No, I wish I were. I’m actually doing something much more important than writing.”

  “Oh yeah,” said Jena. “What’s that?”

  “I’m on a mission,” replied Steven. “I’m trying everything I can think of to market my books. Something’s got to happen. You’re the motivation behind all this.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Jena.

  “Baby, we need a break—a big one. The bottom line is I don’t want to step on that plane Monday morning. The only way I’ll be happy with that is if you’re with me.”

  “I don’t want you to leave either,” said Jena. “But you can always come back, right? Or I can go there.”

  Steven placed a hand on her shoulder. “Jena, I don’t know what it is. I can’t explain it. But I get this sickening feeling every time I think about leaving you behind.”

  “I know, baby. So do I.”

  Steven pulled her close and put his arms around her. “But mine is worse. I guarantee it. It’s this weird sensation that comes over me. It’s a voice that’s screaming at me. It’s telling me not to do it. It’s telling me that it will be the biggest mistake of my life. I know it doesn’t make any sense—none at all.”

  Jena also felt bad about the situation. She too hated the thought of Steven flying away to his life in Texas. But she also saw the emotion that was powering him. It was genuine feelings for her that were killing him. It was a real love for her that was making him crazy.

  That alone must be worth something. At least there was something there to be sick about. The worst possible scenario would be no feelings at all. It could have been just a couple of old friends saying hello and goodbye on that very first day. Or it could have been a couple of days of hot sex and nothing else. That kind of stuff happened every day.

  In a way they should consider themselves lucky. They were blessed just to have reconnected the way they did. Theirs was a real love. Jena also knew Steven didn’t worry about anything unless it was worth worrying about. And this was tearing him apart.

  “Everything will work out, baby,” Jena said softly. “It has to.”

  “I know we’ll both certainly try our absolute best,” said Steven. “Of that I’m sure. What worries me is this feeling that I have. It’s so strong.”

  “So it’s just a feeling, baby. People are wrong about things every day.”

  Steven gazed into her eyes—those big, beautiful, green eyes that shook his soul. “Baby, there’s more to it than a feeling. Over the years I’ve learned to trust my gut. I’ve learned the hard way. Every single time I’ve gone against my gut feeling I’ve lost. Every single time! This one is as strong as one’s ever been.”

  Steven’s eyes remained locked into hers. A special energy flowed between them. Steven continued.

  “Baby, my instincts are telling me to make something happen. Make it happen now. Don’t put this on the back burner. Make a miracle happen. Don’t allow myself to get on that plane unless you’re by my side. Don’t leave you behind. Don’t expect time to wait for us as the days turn to weeks, the weeks into months without seeing each other. Don’t expect those 1400 miles to shrink into inches as we fade away. No way, baby! No way am I going against the grain on this one.”

  Jena was overwhelmed with his determination. He was going through all of this because of her. This was all about his feelings for her. He truly loved her with all of his heart.

  And now he had her worried—very worried. He was correct in what he was saying. Now she knew it. Now she felt it. It was absolutely true. If he left alone on that plane Monday morning it would be the beginning of the end. They had to find a way to stay together. And it had to happen quickly.

  “Oh, baby,” whispered Jena. “What are we going to do? I can’t just leave my job and go to Texas. And I know you can’t leave your job and move here. What can we do? I’m really worried.”

  “It all comes down to money,” said Steven. “That’s the real bottom line. I’ve never really given a shit about making money. Never in my entire life have I let money rule me. I’ve always made it and spent it and never gave a fuck about it. Everything’s changed now. Money will allow us to be together. Money will give us the freedom to be by each other’s side forever. God damn it, for once in my life I’m going to concentrate and make it happen. I’m going to make us happen. It’s gotta happen. It just has to!”

  Jena had seen it before, but never quite like this. This was Steven at his most electric. This was the determination for which he was known. This was the bullheaded stubbornness that was his trademark. He seemed to be able to survive on will alone. His confidence was incredible. Jena hoped and prayed he could pull this one off. Everything was riding on it.

  Jena kissed his cheek. “Baby, how are you going to do it? How can you change our money situation overnight? How will you do that before Monday morning? How can you make it where you don’t have to step on that plane? How can you keep from waving goodbye to me as I stand in a puddle of tears? Tell me how, baby.”

  Steven kissed her on the forehead. “All I can do is throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. I’ve been analyzing this thing for two days. The
best bet is definitely my books. They’re already in place. I’ve got to light a match under them and fire them up.”

  “How can you do it so quickly?” asked Jena.

  “I honestly don’t know,” Steven solemnly answered. “The one thing I do know is I’ve got to try. Right now I’m plugging the books on every internet review site. I’m touching base with every single contact I’ve made in the industry. I’m kissing the asses of some important literary folks. I’m even tossing out some wild longshot possibilities. There’s nothing that’s off the table as far as this is concerned. It’s too damn important.”

  Jena was torn. Yesterday she had swept it under the table. She didn’t want to think about it. She was happy just to hold on to him for a couple more days. Last night they were caught up in making love. Neither of them dared to put a damper on that. Now reality was once again settling in. They had less than two days together unless Steven pulled a magic trick.

  “Oh, Steven,” said Jena. “I can hardly bear the thought of your going. Please, baby, make it happen. I have faith in you. I really do.”

  “I know you do, baby,” said Steven. “Why don’t you do this? Go back and get some more sleep. I know you didn’t sleep much last night. Give me a couple more hours at this. I’ve got to keep trying.”

  “Speaking of sleeping,” said Jena. “Did you sleep at all? You said you were up at four. I know we made love until at least two.”

  Steven laughed. “I might have slept an hour or two at the most. Don’t worry though. I feel good and this has to be done. Something has to be done. I love you, baby.”

  “Alright, baby,” said Jena. “I am tired. Just remember if you need a little nap I’ll be waiting for you.”

  Steven smiled. “Yeah, some chance of us getting a nap in. You know good and well what we’ll end up doing.”

  Jena kissed him and walked towards the bedroom.

  “Oh, Jena,” said Steven. “I almost forgot. What do you want to do tonight?” We can’t let this take away all of our time together.”

  “I don’t care at all as long as I’m with you,” replied Jena. “We could stay here. We could go out somewhere. Going back to James Café is fine with me—whatever you want to do.”

  “Okay, baby. We’ll discuss it later. Sleep well.”

  Chapter 38

  “Here you go,” said a cheerful Melissa. “A Lagunitas and a glass of Chateau Kiss. You guys are so easy to remember.”

  It was late afternoon and they were back at James Café. Once again they had considered going somewhere different. Once again they had opted for the familiar. This really was a place that they loved. They felt so comfortable here.

  Steven had worked all day. For hours on end he had plugged away at the computer. He had sent countless emails and made numerous phone calls. He had touched base with every single contact he knew in the publishing industry. He made sure they knew who he was and what he wrote. He had pushed his books harder than ever before.

  It was the most aggressive marketing he had ever done. He had been relentless in his efforts. Sending out press releases old and new, issuing review requests, posting on writer’s forums—he covered the literary spectrum. He had used the shotgun approach and sprayed the entire industry. He had even sent off some longshots that probably made their way straight into the junk file.

  Everything was game for there was so much at stake. The love of his life was the motivating agent. His baby Jena was the fuel that had energized him. She was the one thing that truly mattered to him. She was now the most important person in his life. She was top priority. Love truly was a powerful force.

  Jena slept most of the morning and tried to stay out of his way the rest of the day. She knew how important this was to him, to her—to them. Maybe this was nothing more than an act of desperation on Steven’s part. Perhaps it was nothing more than begging for a miracle. The one thing she did know was that Steven truly loved her. Whether this worked or not she knew how much he wanted it—how much he wanted her.

  Who knew if this would help or not—maybe it really was a pipe dream and a waste of time. It sure seemed like a last minute Hail Mary pass that offered little chance of success. She would have preferred to spend those precious hours holding her baby. She would rather have been lying in his arms instead of giving him his space. But this was Steven and his bullheaded way. And she learned a long time ago to never underestimate the man.

  Steven looked up at the television above the bar. Even though the sound was off it was obvious what was on. It was the day before the Super Bowl. Tomorrow was one of the biggest party days in the country. It seemed everyone gathered in front of a TV to watch the big game. The American football championship was at stake. Two teams would clash for the title and one would be crowned Super.

  The hype and the interviews saturated the airwaves. It was the prelude to the big event. They were predicting tomorrow’s game would draw the largest audience in television history. Part of the allure was the halftime show. It had become as big of an event as the game itself.

  Tomorrow’s halftime entertainment included a performance by the international superstar Katherine the Great—KG they called her. She was as famous for her outlandish personality as much as her singing. The Russian-born American could always be counted on to spice things up. Usually it was some sexually suggestive comment that had to be censored. The world was always waiting to hear what racy quip she would issue next. When would she grant another X-rated slip of the tongue? What risqué anecdote would next pop out of the mouth of Her Greatness?

  “I’m guessing they’re having some sort of Super Bowl party here tomorrow,” said Steven. “How about you, baby? Are you interested in watching it?”

  “Yeah, sure” replied Jena. “I’m not really a football fan but the Super Bowl’s always fun. We could watch it here if you like.”

  “Alright,” said Steven. “Maybe we could catch part of it here and the rest of it at your place. Whatever you decide, baby. I don’t care.”

  “You know how I feel,” said Jena. “As long as I’m with you I’m happy. I’m a simple girl.”

  Steven smiled. “Yeah, in some ways you are simple, but in the areas that count you’re the most interesting girl in the world. I know one thing. You are a very special person.”

  Jena was quiet for a moment. Steven was right. In some ways she was special. She knew she had a spirit within that could be contagious. People seemed to gravitate towards her at social occasions. They sensed her genuineness, her unassuming air of confidence.

  She was one to whom others could turn. She was one who offered to help and would back it up with actions. She was no moral messenger, but she did know the difference between right and wrong. She believed in treating people fairly.

  Jena could thank her parents for that. They had instilled her with practical values. They didn’t preach to her from the pulpits of hypocrisy. They didn’t say one thing and do another. They didn’t try to hide the skeletons in the closet. They shined a light upon their mistakes and said this is where we went wrong. They let the old bones fall to the floor. Then they would sweep them up and discard them. They admitted their wrongdoings and tried to improve.

  Jena learned early on that the world was a complex mix. She learned that life wasn’t as simple as it was made out to be. It was more than growing up, going to school and getting a job. It was more than falling in love, getting married and having children. It was more than gracefully ageing and waiting for your time.

  No, it wasn’t anything like that at all. The world was in constant motion. If you didn’t cling tight it would spin you off like a bucking bronco. It would break you into a thousand pieces and not give a damn. It would grind your face in the concrete until the blood began to flow. It would laugh at you and spit on you and walk away in victory. It would leave you lying in the wreckage of your hundred year span.

  And there was the good side. The world is full of compassion and love, but it’s not always visible. It lurks under the surf
ace and strikes without warning. Just when you least expect it you’re hit with an act of kindness that brings you back. You regain your faith in humanity until someone shoots it down again. It’s a tightrope of emotions that you walk until the end.

  Yeah, that’s the way Jena saw it. That’s the way she looked at this mysterious journey that we call life. It was a sheet of thin ice that you had to walk over whether you liked it or not.

  Jena let her mind run free. She reflected on her past. It had been a jumbled mess of good and bad. It had its runs of happy and sad. It was a jagged collection of years that seemed to run together. The ups and the downs leveled each other out. They smoothed out the rocky edges of one woman’s life.

  Jena looked back at her relationships. She had experienced two long term relationships. One of them was a marriage and the other was just as intense. Both of them had her head in the clouds until the storm rained down. Then it became a breakdown of her emotions. It tested her strength and even her will to live. It was Hell on Earth.

  Jena had no regrets about either one. You live and learn. No one was to blame. It was just a man and a woman trying to figure it all out. All of humanity was in the same boat. We were all children when it came to affairs of the heart. Whether they admit to it or not most people are running blind when it comes to love. It could be the greatest mystery of them all.

  At the time she thought it was the real thing. Both men touched her heart. There was real emotion and sensuality in both cases. Both of them set her ablaze. They shared their hopes and dreams with each other as well as their bodies. It was as good as it got. They just didn’t work out. That’s all.

  At least that’s what she thought until five days ago. That’s when the bar was raised to the heavens. That’s when she discovered how high the ladder went. That’s when Steven dropped from the sky and into her lap. That’s when the old reality shattered like glass and fell to the ground. Then the dream blew in on the breeze and carried her away. It lifted her to heights she never knew existed.

 

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