by Nikki Duncan
Alone, when no one should be watching, Carmen dropped her shields and allowed herself to be free. Her body swayed with a looseness that said, at least for a few minutes, she’d let every oppressing thought fall away. Her skin had shimmered like the specks floating in the sun’s rays.
It might not have been love the first time he saw her, but in that instance of perfection he’d seen his future with Carmen at his side. The smile that curled his lips then, when he’d realized every decision he’d made in life had led him to her, curled his lips again as he offered her the remote and a magazine from her coffee table.
“Ryan, I’m fine.” Carmen called from the couch, but she didn’t have to raise her voice much since the place wasn’t big. “I can take care of myself.”
“Except you’re not going to. Watch TV or read.” He shook the items he held. “I’m going to get you something to eat, an ice pack and a pain pill.”
“It’s just a sprain.”
“That will heal faster if you stay off your feet.” He shook the remote and magazine again. “Why are you arguing about this?”
“Because I’m not an invalid and I don’t want you waiting on me because you feel guilty somehow and I don’t want to listen to the gossip when people hear you’ve taken care of me.”
Lowering himself to look her in the eyes, he knelt in front of the couch. “I don’t think you’re an invalid, but rest will help you recover faster. I’m not waiting on you out of guilt.” That was driven by another emotion he wasn’t prepared to name at the moment. “As for the gossip, they’re already talking about me carrying you to the doctor and walking you home. If you make me leave this soon they’ll think it just as odd as if I stay.”
“No way.”
“How long have you lived in Whispering Cove?”
“Over a year now.”
“That should be long enough to know how the gossip mill works. It doesn’t matter what you do to protect your privacy, if people think you’re interesting they’re going to find something discussion-worthy in your actions.” He set the remote and magazine in her lap and stood. “You relax. I’ll get you some food.”
In the kitchen, he pulled out the stuff to make sandwiches, choosing peanut butter and jelly over lunchmeat. He pulled out a skillet and grilled the sandwiches, melting the peanut butter and jelly together. He found some chips in the pantry and scooped some onto each plate.
Locating a fifties-style serving tray, not at all surprised she had one, he loaded it up with the plates, drinks, her meds and an ice pack. In the living room, Carmen had stacked some pillows on the coffee table and propped her foot on them. Captain Jack was on the TV, with his boat sinking more the closer he got to shore. The dock served as his life raft, saving him from drowning in failure. Getting to know Carmen, Ryan began to see her as his saving harbor. Knowing her eased the regret that came with leaving the Marines.
Joining her on the couch, sitting carefully so he didn’t jostle her and her ankle, he passed her a pill and drink.
She accepted them with the side of her mouth lightly pinched. “You’re overbearing.”
“You’re injured. Swallow.”
She obeyed and set her drink on the side table. “My problem will go away in a few days.”
He passed her a plate. “If you deal with mine long enough. Eat.”
She chuckled. It was little more than a small shake of her shoulders and a puff of air, but he was taking it as a chuckle. She wasn’t as annoyed with his presence as she pretended to be.
She lifted her sandwich and took a bite. The toasted bread crunched lightly between her teeth. Moving her hands from her mouth, she closed her eyes and chewed. Her mouth curled higher the longer she chewed. After she swallowed, she raised her lids and looked at him.
“Why’d you grill a PB&J?”
“It’s how my mom always made them.” He shrugged. “I guess I missed them while I was gone.”
“I had one once. In Ohio.” She smiled. “I wouldn’t have thought it would be as good as it is. Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” He brushed the back of his finger along her cheek and stared into her eyes until she broke the moment with a blink and returned to her sandwich.
Silence moved in, a completely comfortable one, as they ate and settled in to watch the pirate take on the local government. It was a first for him to sit with a woman and not feel a need to make conversation. It was a first for him to sit in a Whispering Cove living room and not feel like he was missing out on something better.
Ryan took Carmen’s empty plate from her lap and set it on the coffee table with the tray and his plate. He stretched an arm along the cushions behind her, but he didn’t touch her. If he did he wouldn’t stop with a touch. He would want to pull her close and kiss her and feel her curves against him again.
Then she shifted, leaned against him. His breath stalled on its last inhale and his restraint shuddered.
“Do you regret giving up your military career to be here for your family?” Her question was unexpected and aligned closely with his recent thoughts.
“I did at first.” He shrugged. “Now, not so much.”
“Did you love the Corps?”
“I didn’t when I joined, but I quickly realized it was where I was supposed to be.” He’d spent his life looking for a place to belong. He’d thought he found it a few times on sports teams, but after a year or so the feeling would fade and he’d be right back to wanting more. “I never got tired of it or wanted to be out.”
“Why did you think the military would give you something more? And why’d you choose the Marines?”
“The business was struggling when I was in school, so money was too tight to make college a reality. My grades weren’t bad, but they weren’t enough to get me scholarships, either. The military came with an education and gave me the chance to travel, which meant I wouldn’t be getting bored.”
“I wanted a similar escape by the time we aged out of foster care, but travel wore thin quickly.”
“Now that I’m home, I’m starting to realize it was doing the same for me.” More accurately it was Carmen who was making him see the truth. “The Marines gave me what I needed, but it’s time to move on.”
“What did you need?”
“I needed to learn about my biological father.” He’d only ever put it into words for his mom, and though sixteen years had passed for him to come to terms with everything, it was still tough to say it. “I needed to know about the man who knocked up my mother and then turned her away when she reached out to him.”
“Because you were afraid you’d turn out to be as callous?”
“Maybe.” Ryan stroked her hair, smoothing it along her temple and neck. Its softness blended with her skin. Tingles ran through his fingertips. “At the time, I just needed to know who’d made me. I didn’t realize the man who really made me had been here all the time.”
“Mr. Alden.”
“I got to know my real father. Served under him for a while.”
“Did he know who you were?” She moved so she was looking up at him. The caring in her eyes brought a smile to his heart. He was definitely where he belonged.
“Not as far as I knew. He recommended me for a promotion, which took me out of his unit.” Ryan looked down, stared into her eyes, as he talked about the man few people knew existed. “On my last day under his command, I told him who my mother was. It flashed into his eyes that he knew, in that moment, who I was.
“After reporting to him for almost a year, I knew better than to expect any emotion. He didn’t surprise me.”
“How do you mean?”
“He didn’t apologize for never being there. He didn’t offer a single platitude to try and make it better.”
“So what did he do?”
“He said, ‘I hope you don’t expect a relationship of some kind. I released emotional hang-ups long ago.’ Then he turned and walked away as if I didn’t exist.”
“What a jerk.”
“I
had a different name for it,” Ryan said with a smile. “You know what, though?”
“What?”
“Everything I’d gone in looking for, every question, had been answered before that. I should have felt disappointed, but seeing him walk away released, I think now, the first link on the chain holding me to the Corps.”
“Then you got the call that your dad, Mr. Alden, needed you.”
He nodded. “I would have re-upped, but I was needed, and while I still wasn’t sure I belonged in Whispering Cove I didn’t have the driving need to discover myself or where I belonged.”
“You’re talking in past tense. Does that mean you’ve discovered yourself and where you belong?”
“I think I have.” He leaned down and kissed her. His intent was to keep things soft. Carmen, it seemed, had a different idea.
She reached up, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down. Her tongue slipped between his lips and teeth, swept against his. The arousal was instant.
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. Her breasts pressed against his chest. She curled her legs, crawling up onto the couch and practically into his lap.
Arousal shot to the level of heated passion. Ryan’s heart kicked his ribs. “Carmen.”
“Make love to me, Ryan.” She kissed his neck, nibbling a path along his jawbone. “Please.”
He bit his bottom lip and swallowed. She was asking him to do what he’d been dreaming about. His libido did the hell-yeah-let’s-go jig, but he couldn’t rush things. Wouldn’t. A few deep breaths slowed his heart rate, but only a fraction.
Her fingers brushed the hairline at his nape. A thousand sensations seduced him toward surrender. He shifted his hold on her, placed a hand behind her knees and lifted her into his arms as he stood. It was exactly the way he’d carried her in the town square when she’d hurt herself.
Carmen slipped her fingers up the back of his head, threading them through his hair. His knees shook with a force he hadn’t experienced in any military fight, and he’d experienced a lot of reactions in the last sixteen years.
She feathered kisses along his neck, teasing his head with her fingers, and snuggled close. He quickened his pace, eager to reach the bedroom. When he crossed the threshold and looked up, expecting to see the two twin beds with the matching, pink and green checked bedspreads, he stumbled. The two beds were gone, replaced by a giant king that almost filled the room.
“Woman, I think you’re going to be my undoing.”
He’d dreamed up a few things to do with those twin beds, but the new one meant he’d be able to spread out and move. He saw no downside.
“Sounds fun.” Her words slurred and her touches barely made contact.
And she grew heavier, not from holding her too long, but from the completeness of relaxation that was overtaking her. He tilted his body a little to the side. Her head lolled against his shoulder. Her eyes were almost completely closed.
“Carmen.”
“Mmmm. We gonna have sex?” She slurred so bad the x sounded like a long th muttered with a lisp.
Despite the hard-on pressing against his zipper, he laughed. “Not tonight.”
“Awww.”
He leaned over and pulled back the covers as much as he could while holding her securely against him. After laying her down and getting her covered, he sat beside her and smoothed her hair back from her face.
She snuggled her face against the pillow, rubbing her cheek and sighing. “You’re a really nice guy, Ryan.”
“If nice guys finish last I think that puts me behind.”
She smiled a goofy smile as she slipped off to sleep. He couldn’t help but smile at her, though he was already planning for the day he would follow through on the intentions they took into her bedroom.
Chapter Eight
Carmen woke up the morning after spraining her ankle with the headache and regret of a woman who’d gone on a bender. The pain pill had killed the pain, but it was as powerless as time against the memory of falling asleep in Ryan’s arms after asking him to make love with her.
He hadn’t made a move again, and had actually done a great job of dodging hers. Two days of sitting in her apartment had been more than she could handle, despite Ryan’s attempts to keep her entertained. Constant company and DVDs while he was working at the site hadn’t been enough. Even his attentions in the evenings, until he tucked her in each night with a goodnight kiss, weren’t enough.
The man’s picture could have been the cover of Mannerly Gentlemen, if there was such a magazine. The headline would be something like “SuperGunny 911” and they could have written a four-page feature on all the wonderful things he did for her. Cooking dinner, making sure she didn’t miss a round of icing her ankle, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and every other chore she could possibly need done was covered.
He held her hand while they watched TV. He kissed her with tenderness and passion, but never with pressure. He tucked her in and waited for her to fall asleep, but he was back every morning before she woke up so he could cook her breakfast.
He’d brought the rocks she needed for the faces of the grandpas so she could work on them at home, but he’d refused to let her go to the site. Finally she’d nagged enough that he agreed to take her there, though he’d had a list of conditions.
Some of the demands bordered on the edge of over-protective, but when he’d asked her to promise there would be no dancing around the gazebo she’d had to laugh. He’d still made her promise, of course he hadn’t realized she’d have agreed to most anything if it meant getting out of her apartment.
The sun on her face was all the reason she’d needed to agree to his terms. She’d needed the fresh air so badly and the sounds of life outside that she’d even allowed him to carry her to and from his truck, though she was perfectly capable of using her crutches.
She was sitting with her injured leg stretched out and working on the rock picture of a black-capped chickadee when Ryan joined her.
“How you doing?”
It had been five minutes since he’d last asked. His sweetness was beginning to wear thin. “Ryan.”
“Carmen.”
“My ankle is fine, though I am getting a little hungry.”
“I’ll take you for something.” He was up and reaching for her hands. “You could use a break anyway.”
“Yes. Sitting on my ass and placing little rocks and pebbles into a chiseled groove is highly taxing on my ankle.”
“You should elevate it.”
He was being sweet, taking care of her, and she appreciated it. He was also smothering her in tenderness and it wasn’t like him. She missed arguing with him. Missed that he lost his temper and called her Woman with an edge of anger or frustration.
“If you’re looking for something fragile maybe you should visit Sky’s shop. When you do, Gunny—” she put a little more force on his rank and let it linger before continuing, “—notice I’m not on display.”
“You’re not indestructible either, Woman.”
Gah. He’d called her Woman, but not with any edge. She needed him to stop coddling her or she would never have any chance of getting him into bed. And she’d tried every trick she knew, not that any of them worked. Sadly, the last couple nights she’d pretended to be asleep and then had relieved herself after he left. A self-induced orgasm was better than nothing, but it didn’t satisfy the starvation that kept building.
“Ryan.” She leaned away when he would have taken her hands to help her stand. “I’m going to stay here and work. We’re running out of time and still have a few squares to go.”
“If someone hadn’t insisted on staying away for a week…”
“If someone wouldn’t insist on taking me away right now…”
“Are you suggesting I’m part of the delay to this work?” He dropped his hands on his hips and glared down at her. “I don’t think you realize just how much I’ve been doing all month.”
She glared up at him, refusing to be bullied by his height while she was sitting. “On this, or on my last nerve?”
“So I’m irritating you?”
“You’re more smothering than chloroform.”
“Fine. You want some space, I’ll go. I’ll have someone bring you lunch. Don’t go home without me, though.”
She saluted. “Yes, sir.”
He was muttering something about ungrateful, pain-in-the-ass women when he stalked away. Thrilled to be alone, and to have riled him up some, she got back to work. She was whistling a short time later when the gate opened with a creak.
“I have a delivery for Carmen Smith.”
She smiled as she turned to see Hauk heading her way with a bag. “Fish and chips?”
“It’s one of your favorites.” Hauk, her sister’s former boss and pub owner, closed the distance in a few long strides. “You wanna sit in the gazebo or on the ground to eat?”
“That depends.” She narrowed her gaze. “Do you have orders to carry me?”
“If I’d wanted to buy into the military habit of following orders I’d have enlisted. Gazebo or ground?”
“Gazebo,” she said while reaching for her crutches. He skipped the two steps and set the bag on a bench. “Are you also supposed to check my vitals and make sure I don’t run away without supervision?”
Hauk laughed. “I know what he’s doing, you know?”
“Hovering?”
“Adjusting.”
“To what?” Carmen plopped onto the bench with a sigh of satisfaction. She’d barely put any weight on the crutches and there had only been the slightest twinge in her ankle. Feeling victorious, she reached into the bag and pulled out the to-go container.
Hauk smiled. “To the same thing we all have to adjust to when we find ourselves involved with a strong-minded and strong-willed woman.”
“We’re working together on this project. We aren’t involved.” Not that she hadn’t tried each night. The man had a monk’s powers of resistance.
