Shara
I woke, sobbing.
Rik pulled me toward him, but I jerked free of his arms and sat up. Moonlight shone through the balcony doors, gauzy white curtains dancing in the gentle breeze like ghosts. Or shrouds.
Fuck. Was everything going to remind me of death now? Would I be able to smile and laugh without remembering that I was going to be sobbing over someone’s dead body?
Sensing my mood, he didn’t wrap me in his arms, but sat beside me, silent and comforting, my rock in the worst storm. Which only made me cry more. What if it was him?
“I’m not going anywhere, my queen.”
I choked on another wracking sob. “You don’t know that. I could lose you. I could lose any of you.”
He didn’t press for answers. Maybe he’d seen enough of my dream to know what the goddess had given me. Or maybe he already knew me so well that he didn’t have to ask questions. He read my heart and soul without effort. He always had.
My other Blood drew near, as silent as my alpha, but just as determined to soothe my wounded heart. They knelt around the bed, not reaching for me or making demands on my person. Just present. Steady. Unquestioning in their desire to be near me and do anything I asked.
“Even if I ask one of you to die for me?”
“Yes,” “aye,” “without fail,” they said, one by one.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered, slinging tears aside angrily. “It’s not fair. I love you too much to ask any of you to die.”
“You won’t have to ask,” Rik replied, his voice ringing with surety despite the soft, soothing rumble of his rock troll. “You never have to ask for anything, my queen. We know. We live to serve, even if that means dying.”
“I will die for you, my queen.” Guillaume offered me one of his blades over his arm. “Now. This very moment. Cut my heart out like Itztli’s. I’m yours.”
“I won’t be able to bring you back. This grave will be final.”
He stared back at me unflinchingly. “It doesn’t matter. I’m still yours. Kill me if it will ease your heart. I die gladly for you. I’ve had a very long life. It’s no hardship to leave now, if it makes your choice easier. Your power is great enough to take even the headless knight to the grave.”
“It’s not my choice.” My voice broke, my heart shredded to ribbons. “It could be any of you. I can’t control it or make the choice. It’s in the goddess’s hands.”
“Where it should be.” Rik lightly touched my collarbone. “Any of us will pay the cost for you. Without question.”
I looked down where he touched me. A glittering red snake was embedded in my flesh. From a distance, it might look like a tattoo, but I could feel the tiny snake coiled around my throat, its scales settling into my skin, becoming a part of me.
Death. A part of me. A constant reminder of how much I had to lose.
I looked at them one by one. My fearless knights. My deadly beasts. My protectors. My warriors. My killers. My loves.
Tears splashed on my chest. I couldn’t breathe with the pain stabbing through my heart. Instinctively, I tried to draw away from the pain. I tried to harden my heart so it wouldn’t hurt so badly.
Itztli shook his head and reached out to take my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “Please, my queen, don’t make the same mistakes that I did, or that my mother did. Don’t wall yourself off from everyone. Don’t cut us out of your heart to avoid this pain. I know your pain is great. I know what it costs you to love us, but that love saved me. It saved Tlacel. It saved Xochitl. If you do not love, who will you save? Why save anyone at all?”
“I don’t want to be the darkness,” I whispered, forcing each word out, even though they sliced like razor blades. “Is that not what you said? I don’t want to lose anyone to remind me of how much I love the rest of you. I already know that. I don’t need the reminder.”
“I was wrong. I was lost in darkness and thought your light would only remind me how damaged and unworthy I am. But you came into the darkness with me, not to shine light on all my sins, but to stay with me. To love me, even in that darkness. You weren’t afraid to face what you saw inside me, no matter how hideous. That monstrosity is still there. I’m still dark. You’re still the greatest light of love that I’ve ever been graced by the goddesses to see. But I’m not forgotten and lost in my darkness any longer, because you’re still here with me.”
Tlacel pressed his face against my calf in the same spot where he’d bitten me to pull me out of the portal. “Stay here with us, my queen. Even though it hurts.”
Daire inched onto the mattress and curled around me to put his head in my lap. Guillaume sheathed his blade and held my other hand, his thumb lightly stroking my palm. Nevarre pushed in around Ezra, opposite Daire, so he could put his head on my other thigh, his hair sliding over my skin like silk. Mehen wrapped his hands around my left knee. Xin sat by my dragon and tucked up against my side.
My alpha didn’t move. He didn’t have to, because he was already right beside me. So close that all I had to do was tip my head to the side, and I could rest on his broad chest, his heartbeat loud in my ear.
They stayed with me, touching me, offering solace and comfort while the moon crossed the sky. They said nothing else but held me as I cried.
Even though we hadn’t completed the Fire Ceremony, the sun rose again. Dawn always came. Even if I wished it wouldn’t.
13
Rik
I would give my queen my last breath. Every drop of my blood. I would suffer unimaginable pain to ensure her safety.
But I could not protect her from the vision she’d received from the goddess.
Pale and listless, she refused to feed, even though I felt her hunger gnawing through her bonds. She’d taxed her power mercilessly yesterday, first saving the child, completing the ritual with Itztli, and then throwing up the shield to turn Ra’s attack aside. Any other day, I would have declared this trip an impressive victory.
She’d gained a sib, two old, powerful Blood, a new goddess patron and Her gift, an Isador heir, and, of course, she’d dealt a hefty blow to Ra. He’d lost two powerful avatars and two queens had slipped free of his traps.
Shara was more powerful than ever.
But her heart had taken a serious blow. As dawn broke, she insisted we prepare to leave immediately, and I feared she might need weeks or even longer to recover.
I didn’t know exactly what the goddess had shown her in the vision. But I read the sorrow in her heart, the tears in her eyes, and her dread that one of us would die.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d kill one of her beloved Blood myself if that would ease her suffering.
She hurt, but only because she loved us so well.
For once, we had to wake Gina to ensure the plane was readied and Winston expected us back earlier than planned.
As we were carrying luggage to the waiting car, Mayte came racing down the steps dressed only in a robe. “You’re leaving? So early? What happened?” She took one look at the dark circles under Shara’s eyes, and gripped our queen’s hands in hers, pulling her close. “Shara, what’s wrong?”
“I spoke to Coatlicue last night.” She released one of Mayte’s hands and reached up to pull the neckline of her blouse aside enough to bare the new snake coiled around her throat. “Do you know what this is?”
“No. I’m sorry. Did She give it you?”
“I know that mark,” Tocih, Mayte’s grandmother, said as she joined us, wiping her hands on her apron. “Coatlicue called you last night to Coatepec.”
“If that’s a pyramid carved with the Great Feathered Serpent and a jade throne made of massive snakes, then yes.”
Tocih nodded. “Snake Mountain. Did She tell you of the cost?”
Shara swallowed hard and averted her gaze, nodding. The older woman threw her arms around her, startling her. Wide eyed, she gave Mayte a questioning look, but then patted her grandmother’s back awkwardly.
“The gift of th
e grave is a heavy burden to bear, child. My mother bore Coatlicue’s serpent but failed to use it. In the end, it devoured her, and the one she was destined to kill went on to destroy our people.”
“What?” Mayte exclaimed. “You never told me this story. Who was she supposed to kill?”
“Hernan Cortes himself. In the end, she was afraid of the cost. She couldn’t bring herself to use the grave, and he destroyed us. Tenochtitlan fell. House Zaniyah was decimated. Rather than losing a single beloved, she nearly lost our entire family.” She sighed heavily, shaking her head. “When Citla came home from being fostered at House Tocatl a shell of my bright, beautiful daughter, I prayed and fasted for days, begging Coatlicue to bestow the mark on me.”
Mayte let out a shaking breath. “You hardly ever talk about Mama.”
“Because I failed her. I sent her in good faith and they…” Tocih lifted up the corner of her apron and dabbed her eyes. “They broke her, and they didn’t care. Theresa knew I wasn’t strong enough to punish them. The only way I could have given them the retribution they deserved was if Coatlicue gave me Her grave, but I understand why She did not. I had so few loved ones. If I’d lost you, dear child, Zaniyah would be no more. We wouldn’t have Xochitl now. And if I’d lost either of Citla’s boys, our queen’s Blood would not be complete. At the time, I failed to understand Her reasons, but in the end, She had a purpose. A great purpose indeed.”
Tocih reached out and seized Itztli’s hand, tugging him close enough to pat his cheek. “Instead, She gave me you, Itztli. You claimed retribution for House Zaniyah when I could not.”
I watched as my fellow Blood, the one I’d trusted the least, broke before my very eyes, crumbled against his beloved grandmother, sister, and twin, and then slowly rebuilt himself into a fine, gleaming blade as sharp as the obsidian blade on his waist.
His heart, powered by our queen’s love.
She made this possible. She protected Zaniyah. She’d restored Xochitl to her mother. And she made Itztli whole again, even though it cost her greatly. Surely, she couldn’t regret the pain when she wrought such miracles with her love.
Tocih looked back at my queen and hardened her voice. “Be sad for a time, yes. It’s your right. But don’t let this dread task our goddesses have set in your path destroy you, or you’ll lose everything. You won’t lose one beloved, but all of them. If you fail to love, and deny the light and hope They have in store for you because you’re afraid of losing someone, then you’ve already lost the most important thing in this world.”
Some of the turmoil eased in Shara’s bond, and I breathed easier myself.
Three generations of Zaniyah queens walked outside beside my queen. The child, Xochitl, watched as her great-grandmother, mother, and Shara each cut themselves on Itztli’s obsidian blade and held their hands over the blood circle protecting the nest. With Shara’s additional power added to the blood circle, their defenses anchored deeper than ever in the bedrock, grounded by the massive heart tree she’d grown with Itztli’s sacrifice.
A whole flock of bright green and red birds had taken up residence in the new tree. The black hole remained in the trunk, and the birds swarmed in and out of the tree’s core. Hopefully the tree wouldn’t be susceptible to rot and disease with its heart exposed to the elements.
Mayte hugged her brothers, her cheeks damp with tears, but a smile on her face. She took my queen’s hands in hers and kissed both of Shara’s cheeks. “Thank you, Your Majesty. It’s an honor to serve House Isador. If Zaniyah can be of assistance to you, call on us day or night.”
Shara mustered a smile. “Did you deal with Bianca?”
Mayte’s smiled sharpened, her eyes glittering with malice. “Indeed. Why do you think the birds swarm inside the tree? She’ll feed the heart tree you gave us, and I managed to hide her punishment from innocent eyes at the same time.”
Nodding, Shara drew her queen close in a hug, her face tucked against Mayte’s neck. She stroked Shara’s back, and I felt her hunger rise another notch.
“Yes,” Mayte said immediately, tipping her head aside. “Please. Let me feed you one last time before you leave.”
“I don’t want to make you come in front of everyone,” Shara said with a rueful grin tugging the corner of her mouth. “At least if we’re not going to take full advantage of my bite.”
“I can make the bite for you,” Tlacel offered. “We’ve fed from each other many times.”
I listened to Shara’s bond, but she didn’t feel any jealousy that her Blood would touch another woman, not when they were brother and sister. Though it surprised me when she shook her head.
“No. I want Itztli to make the bite for me.”
It might have seemed like an insignificant gesture, but the light shining in his dark eyes said otherwise. He had denied himself most of his life for fear of hurting others, even his family. With Shara’s bond solid inside him, he felt no hesitation as he sank his fangs into his sister’s throat, and then stepped back so our queen could feed.
She drank until Mayte made a soft, lazy sound of contentment, her hands sliding down Shara’s back, pressing their lower bodies closer. Shara’s hunger still blazed, the small amount she’d taken barely even an appetizer, but she licked the wound and lifted her head. “Thank you, my queen.”
“Your Majesty,” Mayte slurred, her eyes heavy lidded. “Safe journey. If I may be of assistance, call me at any time, and I’ll come to your aid.”
Shara started to pull away, but Mayte tangled her hands in her hair and tugged her down for a soft, lingering kiss.
With a reluctant sigh, Shara lifted her head. “I must go.”
“I know. Will you come again? Soon?”
She met my gaze, her bond still shadowed and cold, not with grief, but determination. “I think we’ll be paying a visit to New York City soon.”
Mayte’s breath rushed out. “Oh, Shara. Be careful. Draw on my power as often as you need to. Everything I have is yours.”
Shara looked over at the dancing little girl, chasing butterflies in a beautiful dress. “No. You must protect her above all else.”
As if she sensed the attention, Xochitl turned and waved at us, her smile bright. “Goodbye, Your Majesty!”
“Goodbye, Princess of Unicorns.”
Shara remained silent in the car, though she dropped her head against my shoulder. We transferred to her jet and she immediately kicked her shoes off and cuddled into my side. I dropped my arm around her and just held her, letting her soak in my warmth and assurance. All would be well. I would make it so.
She finally looked up at me, her eyes dark, but not as haunted. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. I held my hand out and Guillaume slapped a blade against my palm so I could make a cut on my throat for her.
Her mouth tightened for a moment. I felt the war inside her, a flood of rage and tears. Vicious determination to keep us all safe, fighting the hopeless fear that even the last queen of Isis was not all-powerful against the grave.
With a sigh, she settled against my chest and pressed her mouth to the cut. Her hunger rose, and she dug her fingers into my shoulders, pulling me closer like she wanted to crawl inside me and hide from the world forever.
“You will never have to ask, my queen. For anything.”
:That’s what I’m afraid of.:
14
Shara
Coming home to my nest after being away was damned near a religious experience. I’d enjoyed Mayte’s nest and it had felt secure.
But my nest…
Layers of tension and alertness that I hadn’t even been aware of, fell away from my shoulders. My trees whispered a glad greeting, the gentle rustling of their leaves a soothing balm to my nerves.
Surprise. For you. Welcome home.
The whispers drew my gaze to the heart tree, now surrounded by large boulders mixed in with the thorny bushes that ringed the rose tree. I took a step toward the new landscape to explore, but Winston opened the door and cal
led to me.
“Your Majesty, I was going to call you, but then Gina texted of your imminent arrival. A package arrived for you.”
I wasn’t sure why he seemed so anxious, if his voice was quivering with nerves or excitement. Until I realized it was New Year’s Day. No postal service would be delivering packages today. “Who’s it from?”
“Rome,” he replied, his eyes wide. “Marne Ceresa herself.”
Of fucking course. I’d barely even been home a minute, and all the plots came tumbling back to ensnare me again. With a scowl, I stomped back toward the house. Whatever surprise my trees had in store for me must wait.
Winston met me at the driveway and led me down to the guard’s station at the gate that blocked the front public entrance to the property.
Frank McCoy, my head security guard and one of my human servants I carried a blood bond with, gave me a worried nod of welcome. “Sorry, Your Majesty. I didn’t know if I should say anything when you first arrived or not. I thought you might be asleep.”
I did have the annoying habit of sleeping on Rik while traveling. Even the first time I’d seen my home, I hadn’t been able to wake up long enough to look around.
“A sharp black Mercedes drove up about fifteen minutes ago. The rear window rolled down and an older man held the box out and said, ‘A special delivery for Her Majesty, Shara Isador.’ I didn’t know what else to do, so I took it, but I didn’t think you’d want it carried into your nest until you took a look at it.”
Nodding, I studied the box. It looked like an old-fashioned hat box, beautifully decorated with white and black damask paper and a baby-pink bow. “Did you get a good look at the man?”
“I’d know him if I saw him again. White hair, goatee and mustache, neat and trimmed, black suit that looked like a million bucks. He wore black leather gloves, too. That gave me pause. If he had to wear gloves to touch the package, I definitely didn’t want to take it up to the house until you saw it.”
Queen Takes Rook (Their Vampire Queen Book 4) Page 9
