by Marie Sexton
The hotel lobby was spacious, with dark wood counters and chairs upholstered in deep green velvet. There was marble everywhere, in every shade imaginable—white, green, gold, brown, and gray—including a huge mosaic on the floor. I could tell as soon as we walked through the door that it was probably unbelievably expensive.
Matt, Jared, and Angelo were still outside dealing with bellboys and our bags. I went to the front desk to check in. It turned out I didnt need to do much but give them my name and pick up my key. “Mr. Davenport is on his way down to greet you,” the girl behind the desk told me. And sure enough, Cole arrived only a moment later.
He reminded me of Angelo in some ways. He was a bit taller, but with the same slim build. His skin was just a shade or two lighter than Angelos. And just like Ang, his hair seemed to hang in his eyes about half the time; although in his case, it seemed to have been cut that way on purpose. “Hello, Zach,” he said, taking my hand between his and looking up at me. “Weve really never met before, have we?”
“Not really, no.”
“Im pleased that you came.”
“Thank you for having us,” I said, although it seemed like an
incredibly weak sentiment considering what hed done for us—flying us all the way to Paris and paying for a hotel that was obviously ridiculously expensive.
His soft hands were still holding mine, and his gaze was cautious but friendly. “I hope things wont be awkward between us.”
“Why would they be?” I asked.
He was taken aback by that, I could tell, and his eyebrows went up in surprise. “My goodness, lovey. I cant tell if youre being sarcastic or if you actually mean that.” I couldnt blame him for being unsure. After all, he was marrying my ex and had screwed around with my current boyfriend.
“It wasnt sarcasm,” I assured him. “I have no hard feelings about Jon, or about Angelo.”
He ducked his head a little, so that his hair blocked his eyes from me. It reminded me of Angelo, although when Ang did it, it was incidental. With Cole, it seemed deliberate. “I hope youre not worried about it happening again?”
I couldnt help but smile. “Youll cross Jons lines long before Angelo crosses mine.”
“You sound pretty sure about that.”
“I am.”
He flipped his hair out of the way again and regarded me appraisingly. “Youre different than I expected. Jonny said you were easygoing, but given how uptight he is, that might have meant nothing more than that you actually know the purpose of a snooze button.”
I should have laughed at that, but I couldnt quite manage it. “I hate to think what Jon must have told you.”
He shook his head. “He never said much. Although, he did imply youd rather drive nails through your eyes than see him again.”
“He wasnt far off.”
“Were things so bad with him?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. The truth was, wed had a lot of good times. But when I looked back, I found they were hard to remember. I could barely see them through the lies and the arguments that had plagued the last few months of our relationship. “It just didnt end well.”
“So much so that you would have preferred to stay home?” “Yes.”
“Then why did you come?” There was no challenge in his question. He genuinely wanted to know.
“For Angelo.” And it seemed like as good a time as any to say what I wanted to say. “I want to thank you for giving him this. I want you to know how much it means to him. Hell never be able to tell you on his own. Hes only been out of Colorado a few times, and now, getting to come here, it means more to him than I can say.”
“You love him very much.”
The statement caught me off guard, but I said, “Of course.”
“Jonny said youd only come for Angelo.” He smiled at me conspiratorially. “I may not tell him, though. I hate it when hes right.”
“I dont blame you. Hes unbearable when he gloats,” I said, and he laughed. “He must have changed more than I thought. He used to hate being called Jonny.”
“I assure you, honey,” he said, winking at me, “he still does.”
That made me laugh, and any tension I might have felt over meeting him melted away. I could see suddenly why he was the perfect match for Jon—unlike me, he was strong enough to be himself, no matter what. He smiled at me, and I felt like we had somehow reached a silent understanding. He squeezed my hand. “I think I like you, Zach,” he said, as he finally let me go. “And that might annoy Jonny enough to make you and I both happy.”
He looked over my shoulder then, and his smile went from genuine to something a bit too bright. “Well hello, buttercup,” he said, and I turned to find Matt standing behind me, looking slightly amused. And slightly annoyed.
“Listen, Vanderbilt—”
“I thought it was Davenport,” I said.
“I prefer Fenton, actually,” Cole said.
Matt grinned wolfishly at him. “Whatever.”
“Oh honey, just call me Cole.”
“As long as you call me „Matt.”
Cole put his hand on his hip. He flipped his hair back out of his eyes, tilting his head back. Matt was at least four inches taller than him, but Cole somehow managed to make it seem that he had to look down to meet Matts eyes. “Anything you want, buttercup.”
Matt rolled his eyes, but otherwise didnt respond at all. He turned to get his key from the woman behind the counter.
Jared and Angelo walked in, and Cole went straight to Jared, pulling him into a tight embrace. Jared hugged him back, laughing. They stayed that way for a second, and then Cole pulled back just enough to look up into Jareds eyes. He had one hand on each side of Jareds face and was looking into his eyes, saying something that seemed to be very serious. Then he kissed him. He put his lips on the corner of Jareds mouth, as if he hadnt been able to decide between his lips and his cheek and had chosen to split the difference. It was soft and friendly, and although he lingered there a bit longer than I expected, the kiss wasnt at all sexual. Nonetheless, I heard Matt, standing next to me, make a low sound suspiciously close to a growl.
“Down, boy,” I said.
He didnt laugh. “I could handle it a lot better if he didnt have to touch him all the time!”
Cole was acting awfully familiar with Jared, but I also knew Jared was one hundred percent devoted to Matt. “What are you worried about?” I asked him. “You cant honestly think Jared would cheat on you.”
He tore his eyes away from his partner, and sighed. He looked at me with obvious embarrassment. “Of course not,” he said grudgingly. “It just drives me nuts knowing theyve been together.”
“Sometimes sex is just sex,” I said, and immediately regretted it. It obviously annoyed him. He might even have been mad.
“Is it supposed to make me feel better knowing that Im the only one who cant seem to see it that way?”
Angelo looked over at us, and he must have been able to tell from Matts face what was going on because he laughed and pulled Jared away from Cole, stepping between them.
Cole wasnt quite as familiar with Ang as he had been with Jared— he didnt kiss him, at least. But he did stand awfully close. He put one arm around Angelos waist and whispered something in his ear that made him laugh.
“How can that not drive you nuts?” Matt asked me through clenched teeth.
But watching Cole and Angelo now was nothing like the first time theyd met, back at Matt and Jareds house, more than two years before. Back then, the sexual tension between them had been strong. Id almost felt like I could see it crackling between them. The entire room felt charged, and everybody around them seemed a bit on edge, although I suspected none of them knew why.
But now, it was completely gone. Yes, Cole was apparently incredibly flirtatious, and Angelo didnt seem to feel inclined to dissuade him. But when I looked at Angelo, I could tell that he felt nothing for Cole beyond a friendly curiosity. I could tell by the look in his eyes and by the way he
responded to Coles flirting by touching him yet never leaning into him. He didnt desire him anymore.
“Come on,” I said, grabbing Matts arm. “Lets go get settled in.”
We rounded up Jared and Ang and headed for our rooms, with Cole calling after us that he knew we were probably starving (and he was right) so to meet back downstairs in an hour, and hed take us all out for an early lunch.
The ride in the elevator was deathly silent. Matt glared at Jared, but didnt say a word, and Jared grinned playfully back at him. There wasnt a doubt in my mind they were either going to be fighting or fucking in five minutes flat. I hoped for their sake it was the latter.
Matt…
I WAS trying not to be absolutely furious, and I was definitely failing. Id made an effort over the last few weeks to overcome my
reservations about the trip. Yes, Id probably miss the Super Bowl. Yes,
Id have to watch a wedding between two people I could barely stand. But it was a free trip to Paris with my partner and my best friend. Cole was no threat to me. I told myself that over and over. I tried to be rational instead of letting my emotions take over.
But seeing Cole and Jared together in the lobby had destroyed any attempt at rationality. It made me livid. It didnt help that Jared was grinning at me like it was all a game. It also didnt help that Zach and Angelo were on the other side of the elevator, not looking at me, doing their best to pretend like they had no idea what was going on.
They all thought I was being a fool, and on some level, I knew they were right. But it didnt change the fact that I could not stand to see Cole with Jared. I hated to think about all of the times theyd been together. And I really hated to see them touching.
Zach and Angelos room was in the opposite direction, so we parted ways after leaving the elevator. I followed Jared to our room. It was a suite. It was overdecorated and ridiculously ornate, and it only seemed to underline the fact that I was horrifically out of place.
The bellboy had already brought our bags up and left them in our room. I felt like Id been wearing the same clothes for ages, and I was dying for a shower. On the other hand, I knew Jared was probably thinking the exact same thing. I figured Id let him go first because I certainly wasnt in the mood to shower together.
“You know,” Jared said to me over his shoulder as he started to undress, “if you glower like that all week, youll give yourself a headache.”
“Im glad you find it so amusing.”
“Come on, Matt,” he chided. “This is supposed to be fun.” “Watching Cole put his hands all over you isnt my definition of fun.”
He was down to only his boxers, and he stepped up close to me and started to unbutton my pants, grinning up at me as he did. “Are you going to be jealous like this all week?”
“Maybe.”
He slid his hand into my pants, and I did my best to ignore him. I didnt completely succeed, but I was still mad, and I was determined to not let him distract me. “Cole and I have known each other a long time—”
“I know.”
“So what makes you think that now, after all these years, were suddenly going to become more than friends? Hes getting married, Matt.” His hand was still moving on me, and although I wanted to stay angry, there were other parts of my body that werent so resolved. “I love you. Not him. Do you really think thats going to suddenly change?”
Did I? No, not really. It wasnt that I thought Jared wanted Cole instead of me. It was the fact that Cole had already had Jared. It was their history together that drove me nuts. I had to force my words out through clenched teeth. “I cant give you anything you havent already had with him.”
That surprised him enough that his hand quit moving. He blinked up at me in confusion. “Is that really what you think?”
“Youre the one who keeps pointing out how long youve known each other! It drives me nuts to think that everything we do, you did with him first!”
He absorbed that for a minute, and then I saw a wicked glint appear in his eyes. A playful grin spread slowly across his face. “Not everything,” he said as he kissed me. He pulled off my shirt and started to push my pants down over my hips. “There are lots of things I never did with him,” he said. “Let me tell you all the things I never did with him. Ive never been mountain biking with him. Ive never shared a sleeping bag with him.” And as he talked, he continued to undress me, his hands moving everywhere, his lips finding mine between sentences. “Ive never been camping with him. Ive never been geo-caching with him.” He nipped at my earlobe, and one of his hands went back to my groin. “Ive never lived with him. We may have had sex, but we were never lovers. I never fell asleep in his arms. I never woke up to him kissing the back of my neck or pulling my hair.”
My resolution to stay mad was fading. Partly it was him; his hard, lean body against mine, and his hands moving exactly right. It was his lips on mine, and the way he used his teeth when he was being aggressive. It was the smell of his coarse curls and the low, soft sounds he made when I finally started to touch him back.
But more than any of that, it was his words. He was reminding me why we were so good together, all the reasons wed been friends long before we were lovers, all the reason his friendship with Cole had never grown into anything like what we had.
“Ive never been to a football game with him,” he said as he pulled me toward the bed. He laughed as he thought about what hed just said. “In fact, Ive never even watched a football game with him. He thinks its „vulgar and brutish and horribly dull, darling.” And even I had to laugh at that as he pushed me back onto the bed. He went to the suitcase and pulled out the lube. He dropped his boxers and climbed on top of me. His hand slid down my length, covering me with lube. We had anal sex a bit more often since the Vegas trip, but I still only topped this way, on my back, with him straddling me. “Topping from the bottom” Jared always called it, and he found it funny.
His blue eyes were piercing as he looked down into mine. “You know what else Ive never done with him?”
“What?”
“This,” he said, and he pushed himself down onto me. He was so tight and so warm, and I moaned as he began to move on me. He leaned over as he did and talked softly into my ear. “Ive never bottomed with him. Not even once.” His tone was teasing, but breathless too. “Does it matter knowing I always topped?”
Whether the argument was rational or not, I certainly couldnt judge at that moment. But his words struck a chord. It did matter.
“He never tops,” he said. “Think about it, Matt. Hes smaller than me. Hes never thrown me down on the bed and really fucked me.” His teeth nipped my neck. His hands were everywhere. His breathless voice was in my ear, his body still moving on top of me. “Does that make a difference? Does it help knowing hes never fucked me like this? Does it help knowing hes never fucked me at all?”
“Yes,” I admitted, as breathless now as he was.
“You want to do something to me hes never done?”
“Yes.”
“Then be aggressive.”
Just the thought of it made me moan.
“Take control.”
“Oh God—”
“Do what he wont.”
I wanted to. I really did want to.
“Fuck me!” he said, and his fingers dug painfully into my shoulders.
“Jared—”
“Fuck me!”
The words flipped a switch deep inside of me. He was right. I didnt want to lie here underneath him, letting him lead. Not this time.
I grabbed him and rolled us over, so I was on top, and he moaned. He closed his eyes and arched toward me as I thrust into him. Id forgotten all of the reasons this position was so good. I could watch his face. I could stroke him with one hand as I fucked him. And as hed said, I really could be aggressive. Why I was normally so reluctant to let him be submissive wasnt even clear in my mind, but suddenly, here and now, it didnt matter. It was a relief to let go. It was a relief to drive into him harder and faster tha
n before.
He pushed my hand away from his cock and began stroking himself, and I let him. I slammed into him. I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled, harder than usual, hard enough that his moan was partly pain, and I attacked his neck with my mouth as I fucked him harder. I wasnt sure whether it was acceptable or not to channel my anger and my jealousy into our sex, but I did it anyway. He said he was mine, and somewhere in the rational part of my brain, I knew it was true. But I wanted to prove it. I wanted to mark him. I wanted to claim him in some way that was purely primal.
I felt his hands digging into my back, his teeth in my shoulder. I heard his hoarse cry in my ear, and felt him climaxing underneath me. It drove me over the edge, and I spent myself in him, holding him tight, driving into him as deep as I could, and as I did, I found myself thinking only one thing: he belonged to me, and nobody was going to take him away.
Afterward, as I held him tight against me and we both worked to catch our breath, he said to me, “Thats what I want you to remember, Matt. Every time you start to get jealous, every time you want to punch him in the face, I want you to think about this. And when we get back to the room, you can throw me down on the bed and do it again if you want. As long as it helps you remember that youre the one I love.”
I sighed and held him tighter. I hated to admit that my anger was gone, but it was. My jealousy was lost and powerless in the afterglow of our pleasure. I kissed his neck. “Youre a manipulative bastard,” I said.
He laughed. “I learned from the best.” He rolled us over again and sat on top of me, straddling my hips, smiling down at me. “Are you still mad?”
“No.”
“Good,” he said, “cause that was fun.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“Yes,” he said, but he was grinning ear to ear as he said it, and I knew it wasnt a complaint.
I reached up and grabbed his hair, and he let me pull him down to kiss me. “Suddenly Im hoping you make me jealous a lot on this trip.”
The smile he gave me was one of the sexiest things Id ever seen. “My thoughts exactly.”
