by Ayer, T. G.
What in Ailuros’s name is wrong with me?
I stared at Justin for a long moment, my heart thudding against my ribs. Then I shook my head and walked straight out of the room without looking back.
I’m not sure what the hell he expected from me. I knew he was manipulating my attraction to him, but for what purpose? Was it purely emotional or did he have an ulterior motive? A heavy iciness settled in my gut. And all the while I kept asking myself why I’d responded to that kiss.
But I didn’t really feel as if I’d betrayed Logan in any way. Justin and I went way back. I’d been in love with him since my teens. Only falling out of love with him when I realized the true reality of being an alpha. Not that the reality had caused any of the attraction to disappear. From the heat of that kiss, we were both still pretty much into each other. But that wasn’t a reason to pursue anything with Justin Lake.
My heart belonged to Logan.
***
Chapter 3
My feet took me to the kitchen, which was bright and empty. I pulled up a stool, sat at the counter, and stared at the gleaming red-and-chrome galley. I’d always loved our kitchen, the way the sun would stream inside and stay in the room for the better part of the day. We had a huge range and a center island big enough for a professional chef.
Elbows on the counter, I rested my chin on my hand and surveyed the silent space. Heaviness weighed me down, despite accepting what my friends had to say. I knew what it was. Now that the funeral was over, I could get on with my next mission. We’d held Greer’s ceremony and burial within days of her death only because Dad and Iain knew I’d need to get myself to Wrythiin as soon as possible.
Mom and Anjelo waited. And as far as I was concerned, they’d done enough of that.
I looked up to the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen. Grams reached out for my hand, and when I took it, she gave it a little squeeze. Dad followed close behind her. From their expressions I could tell they’d had some sort of disagreement. They covered it well. The old Odel strength when facing the outside world.
But not well enough so I’d be unable to see. “What’s wrong?”
They looked at each other, a brief glance filled with worry. Then Grams turned to me. “It’s just an old disagreement, dear. Nothing to be worried about?” She gave me a lukewarm smile. Then her gaze flitted away.
“Is it about Mom?” I asked as she hovered, unsure what to do with herself.
“What makes you say that?” she asked, her eyes still evasive. She rounded the marble counter for want of something to do, but our friends had done such a masterful job at cleaning up that not a speck of dust was left behind for her to attend to.
I snorted. “Because it’s obviously going to be on everyone’s mind. Greer is buried and now I leave for Wrythiin.”
“When?” Just that one word from Dad.
“As soon as I can get my things together. I just need to make sure I have the right ammo, and I’m good to go.”
He was shaking his head. “Grams wants to go with you.”
My mouth dropped open, but when I looked over at Grams, she was shaking her head. She clicked her tongue and said, “What your father is trying to say is he doesn’t think it’s safe for you to go alone.” She glared at him before she continued. “He thinks Iain should go with you.”
I scoffed. “Even if Iain wanted to come with me, he doesn’t have a portal key,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
Dad shrugged. “We do work for Sentinel. A portal key is a small matter.”
“At what cost?” I asked, the memory of the blood promise filling my thoughts. It would dog me until the day she asked for payment.
“Cost? What do you mean?” asked Dad, his forehead scrunched.
“If she extracts a blood promise, what then?”
His lips curled as he gave his head a slight shake. “If that’s what she wants, it’s a small price to pay.” Then he frowned. “Is that what it cost you?”
No point in evading the question. I nodded and didn’t miss the disapproval in Grams’ eyes. “I did what I had to do,” I said, a little too defensively.
“You still have your mother’s key to the Wraith world?”
I nodded, then got to my feet. “I should get a move on. I need to stop at Tara’s and then get some sleep. I’m going to leave in the morning.”
Dad’s forehead creased and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to. Then he sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Of course you know I don’t want you to go.”
I smiled softly, feeling a little sorry for him. “I know. But I’m still going.” I knew he would be struggling with it. As Mom’s husband, he would want to be the one to save her, but his hands were tied. So many restrictions and rules.
“Always your mother’s daughter, aren’t you?” he said, and I grinned.
“Look, if Iain wants to come, I won’t stop him. Mom’s his mother too.” I offered the option and really meant it.
Dad glanced over at Grams in a triumphant way that made me smile. Then he looked back at me. “I’ll let him know.”
I nodded. “Don’t forget I’m leaving in the morning.”
“I’ll be sure to let him know.”
I frowned, a thought just jumping into my head, one filled with sadden suspicion. “Does Sentinel want to have something to do with this mission?”
Dad’s jaw tightened. “They don’t approve, of course, but no, they don’t want to get involved. The Wraith kingdom is in enough turmoil without Sentinel meddling in their affairs. Just be careful, though. Get in and get back home as fast as you can.”
“That’s the plan.”
Dad rose and drew me into a hug. A strange action coming from a man who’d shown me such coldness for most of my life. And in that moment, I knew I no longer held it against him.
I sighed as he let go. “I have to get going before it gets too late.” I snuck a glance out the window at the deep blue of the night as it snuffed out the light. I considered running home, but heels and a skirt weren’t conducive to speeding through the forest and brush all the way back to the city. I gave my feet a wry glance and peeked up at Grams. Hopefully she was going my way, considering we both lived in the same apartment.
“You need a ride?” she asked, her blue eyes twinkling.
“Since these shoes weren’t made for runnin’, I certainly accept.” I grinned as she got to her feet and rounded the counter. She patted her son on his arm, giving him a look that failed to hide her concern. He’d lost his daughter. Good enough reason for him to fall apart. But the man seemed to be hanging in there.
My gut twisted. I’d been so focused on my own feelings I’d lost sight of the fact that my father had just lost his child. I couldn’t imagine a more horrible thing. Grams hesitated in front of him as if she wanted to give him a hug, but he held himself a little too stiffly. Enough for her to know he wasn’t ready for more comfort. It made me more certain that Mom needed to get her ass home. And soon.
When Grams moved away, I followed her out of the kitchen, leaving my father alone, surrounded by strangely shadowed chrome and red that looked more like dried blood. I paused in the doorway and glanced back at him. The tilt of his head, the weary bow of his shoulders, even the elegant splash of grey at his temples all made me more aware that he wasn’t getting any younger.
I’ll bring her home soon. I promise.
Following Grams out the door, I frowned as I saw her shadowed form disappear into the garage. I followed her inside and almost jumped when the automatic door grumbled loudly. A quick glance around and I couldn’t hide my smile. Grams stood beside a gleaming Ducati, the motorcycle seeming far too mean for the likes of my grandmother. She grabbed her hair in her hands and knotted it at the back of her head.
Then she picked up two helmets, holding one out to me with a cheeky smile. “I’m not exactly dressed for a bike ride, but I think I need to feel the wind on my face.”
I snorted. “How will you do
that when the helmet is jammed on your head?” I’d always disliked helmets, and whenever I rode, I’d find some reason to conveniently forget to put it on.
She shook her head at me and tutted. “Kai, you’re a Walker, not an immortal. Smashing your head into the ground will kill you, just like it would any human.”
I stiffened.
“I take it you haven’t gotten over that yet?” Grams’ lips twisted wryly.
“Oh, you mean the fact that after eighteen years of existence, I find out I’m a mongrel? Yeah, I’ve gotten over that.” My voice was cold despite the fact that I wasn’t so angry anymore.
“Kai,” Grams said, reproach dulling the usual sparkling bright blue of her eyes.
“I’m sorry, but that’s the way I feel. It’s got nothing to do with Mom. It’s not like I hate her for being human. For Ailuros’s sake, I’m kinda falling for a human myself, so I can’t be judging. The thing is I lived almost my whole life and I never knew the truth, so you can’t expect me to switch off my feelings just like that.” I came to an abrupt stop and took a deep, shuddering breath, wishing the shadows in the dark garage would swallow me up. “Sorry, Grams. You didn’t deserve that.” I sighed.
Grams, hit my arm with a pair of elegant black leather gloves. “Don’t apologize for feeling emotions, Kai. Sometimes you’re too much like your father.” My gaze snapped to her face, my forehead wrinkled. “He’s always kept his emotions bottled up inside. The deeper he feels, the harder it is for him to reveal his feelings. It’s not healthy.”
I nodded. I’d felt the ice of his emotional detachment after Mom left us. I knew I should learn from his actions and deal better with my feelings. Tossing the shiny black helmet from one hand to the other, I said, “I know. It’s just hard.”
“How hard is it, dear?” Grams tilted her head up at me. “Have you thought about your own children? What if sometime in the future you marry Logan, or a man of another species? What would you think of your own little mongrels then?”
I stared at Grams. Trust her to force me to think about something that hadn’t even occurred to me. Marriage. The last thing that had ever been on my mind. Even with my relationship with Logan. Although, if I had to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t the sort of girl to waste time on a guy who I didn’t consider long-term material. I’d grown up with the belief that Walkers and humans could not have children, but finding out about my mother had certainly put that fable to dust. Here I was half human, half Walker, fully capable of watering down the gene pool further. I wasn’t sure how my family would feel about that.
“But wouldn’t that be frowned upon? I’m already only half Walker. Wouldn’t I obliterate the Odel genes if I had children with a non-Walker?”
Grams frowned, then looked up at the dusty ceiling. She thought for a few moments, then said, “I don’t think the Walker bloodline is at all dilutable. Look how strong you are. You’re still an alpha even though you’re half Walker. Sometimes I wonder if the Walker gene simply just takes over. I’ve never seen a human-Walker pairing that produced non-Walker children.”
I frowned. “Then what about Greer?”
“Greer was Pariah. Just like Niko. And your uncle was full-blooded Walker. Unless I’d had a incubus visitation without my knowledge.” She winked.
“Grams!” I scolded but couldn’t help laughing. “Okay, I see your point. Half Walker but full strength. And still alpha.” I sighed and grabbed my hair in one hand, twisting it into an ugly bun before jamming the helmet on my head. Grams did the same and threw a long, lean leg over the motorcycle.
I eyed Ivy Odel as she moved with lithe grace. Grams was pretty sexy for an older woman. Sometimes I had to force such thoughts out of my mind. Poor Gramps would be turning in his coffin if he knew how hot she still was. As she thumbed the starter switch and the engine revved, I grabbed her around the waist and tried to stop thinking of everything but the ride.
***
Chapter 4
I sighed as I unlocked our apartment door and fell inside with relief. Grams kicked the door shut behind me and headed to her room. The day had sucked out all my energy, leaving behind an empty hole in my chest. Not to mention my run-in of the personal kind with Justin. I just couldn’t figure him out. He’d never behaved like that before, so interested, so passionate, so forward. Not that I would have considered his proposal if he had. Justin was pretty much off-limits by my own stipulation.
I sank onto my bed and was about to remove my shoes when remembered I’d intended to see my favorite weapons expert as soon as possible.
I sighed and got back to my feet. At Grams’ door, I paused and knocked lightly before opening it.
I frowned at her as she hovered over her travel bag. She always carried a change of clothes in her rucksack along with her weapons. “Another job already?” I asked, frowning.
“Not much I can do about having work to do.” She shrugged as she folded a pair of black jeans.
“They could give you a personal break, especially now,” I said, raising my eyebrows in annoyance. Sentinel seemed to control her life.
She just smiled at me. “Like you’re giving yourself a break?” She was watching me, her head tilted, her hands stilled.
I shook my head as if the mere action negated her argument. “You know I’m going for Mom and Anjelo. I can’t stand the thought that they’ll have to be there one more night. I’d go now if I could. I would have gone after Greer died if you had let me.” I didn’t care that my words came out tinged with accusation. They’d forced me to wait until after the funeral. Even when I’d tried to convince them I may be able to bring Mom back to say good-bye to her daughter.
But nobody had listened, and I’d begun to wonder if there was something they hadn’t wanted me to know. Some big secret they were keeping from me. Now I could see all they wanted was for me to take care of myself.
Grams’ eyes hardened and she returned to folding a black turtleneck. “Kai, jumping from plane to plane can have a huge impact on the health of your body. You went from Wrythiin to Earth, filled with obsidian blade poison, then you went to the Greylands still weakened by the poison. Then you came home and went back again, all while still healing. The last thing we needed was for you to die from too much cross-veil travel.”
I didn’t say anything because she had a point. Having finally fully recovered, I knew now how much the poison had affected me. And no matter what I tried to tell myself, it was more important for me to be healthy because that meant I’d be more capable of completing my mission.
I sighed, then paused. I had another thing to ask before she disappeared on me. “So… Any news from Sentinel on the prophecy?”
Grams’ face darkened and she shoved the top into her bag. There was a moment of silence in which I let her fold and stack while I waited, leaning against the threshold. Growing impatient, I opened my mouth to urge her to answer, when she said, “There is something, although nobody is sure what to make of it.”
Ominous. “What is it?” I asked, burning with curiosity.
Grams looked up and her eyes were dark and filled with worry. She cleared her throat, her fingers trailing the edge of the bag’s zipper. “The scholars studying the manuscripts have come across a translation problem. They think they were wrong about the specifics of what or who the Niamh is.”
“Wrong how?” I asked, my heart thudding. All along, the idea of being this special being, the potential savior of the world, had intimidated me. And now Grams was saying they were wrong? Suddenly, I wasn’t sure how I felt about possibly being free of the responsibility. I cleared my throat. “They’ve found I’m not the Niamh?” I asked her far too eagerly.
Grams grinned, although the smile failed to hit its usual brightness. She shook her head, her blond waves brushing her cheeks. “Sorry, my dear. You’re not off the hook that easily. The scholars believe there was some confusion in the wording. They now believe the Niamh is not a singular description.”
“What? So they think there’s
more than one Niamh?” To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I’d welcomed the thought of being off the hook from the whole saving the world business.
“They aren’t sure yet, but they do suspect the Niamh refers to a group of women. They are delving deeper into the semantics and also looking back at what they’ve already translated, since a change in the meaning now could have an impact on older translations.”
I nodded, my stomach lying heavy in my gut. “So there’s more than one of us?” When she nodded, I said, “Well, I suppose that’s better than carrying the burden all on my own.”
Grams zipped up her bag, then walked toward me, placing her hands on my upper arms. “Even if you’re sharing it, it’s still a huge responsibility, so don’t kid yourself.”
A shaft of ice scraped down my back. I had enough to think about without this hanging over my head. Not that I was about to disappoint Grams by whining. I nodded, then gave her a quick hug. “I know. And I guess I will carry that responsibility until I know what I’m supposed to do with it.” For a moment, the skin at her eyes tightened. But I wasn’t going to apologize for that. Up to now, nobody had been able to give me better information on what exactly it was I was supposed to do to fulfill that responsibility. Not even the Titan Jess. I sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not your fault.”
But Grams was shaking her head. “No. You have every right to be frustrated. It’s not easy when all you have is a hazy idea of what you’re meant to do.” Grams sighed. “How about we all deal with this one day at a time? Okay?”
I nodded, feeling slightly better. “Okay. Now I’d better get going. Tara has some orders ready for me.”
Grams smiled and waved me off, and I hurried out of the apartment. Once outside, I gave the street a quick check. When I was certain I was alone, I took off at Walker speed and got to Tara’s in less than two minutes.
