by Jax Hart
I hung my head, wrapping the towel closer around my shivering body. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. It’s too late. We must become gypsy’s again and move.”
“No! I like it here!”
“You should’ve thought of that before you crashed his college party. It was reckless and dumb. We’ll be lucky to lay low and escape. They’ve got all the main roads under constant surveillance.”
“So? We live like hermits as it is. No one knows us. Besides. If we leave, they’ll know. If you pull me out of school…they’ll find out and trace us.”
“I know,” he sighed. “It won’t be easy to run this time.”
“So, what if we stay? What could he possibly want with me? I’m illegal for him to date…surely he won’t want to draw attention?”
“The Salvatore’s pay off more law enforcement people than all the cartels in Mexico. You think he’ll care?”
“Fine. I’ll dye my hair blue, pierce my nose and date someone my own age,” I snap my fingers.
He waved his hand. “No. I’ll take care of it. You get dressed.”
Shame filled me. Zio’s been so much to me and I’ve left him down. I’ve never disobeyed him ever done anything that could put us in jeopardy before. But I knew I’d made a grave mistake. There might not be any option but to run. My shoulders sagged.
On the way home Zio stopped at a drugstore. Pulling my hoodie low, I bought a box of bright blue hair dye and some bright pink lipstick. Using an app on my phone, I bought more colored contacts this time is deep indigo. Blue hair and blue eyes.
Zio grunted when I told him. “Eat. You need to get fat.”
“Are you serious? I trained hard. I burned too many calories.” He grunted, pulling into a fast food drive through. He ordered a loaded a burger and large fries with a super-sized milkshake. “This is child abuse!”
He responded by shoving a handful of warm, salty fries in my mouth.
“Mmm, they are yummy though.”
“Go to your room,” Zio commanded when we got home. I didn’t even talk back. I finished wolfing down the food and opened the blue hair dye. I wished I could call Tati for help, but I knew I needed to keep her at a distance in case she’d already been made. How could tell her to stay away without telling her why?
I tapped my fingers on the counter and waited while my hair was full of blue dye. Taking out my cell, I called her and hoped she believed the lies about to spill from my mouth.
“Girl? Where are you? Casey is having a party at her place. Her older sister is at Chappa Delta at Princeton…I hear she invited some of the frat guys…”
I smacked my head, leaving a blue handprint on my forehead. “I can’t. I’m grounded. Zio found out about the last party.”
“What? How?”
“He has an anti-theft GPS app on his phone. When he checked his cell the next morning I was busted.”
“Damn your old uncle is smart.”
“I know.”
“Fine. Sneak out. I’ll drive.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You owe me.”
“For what?”
“Um, ending my night with Le Blanc. I heard he’s going… looking for a certain high school girl.”
“That means…”
“Yes, it does. They’ll all be there. Johnny, Rafe, and Ralph.”
“His name isn’t Ralph.”
“Oh yean, what is it then?”
“Ass-wipe.”
“Well, ass-wipe has the hots for you. I’ parking down the block. Get your ass out on the roof and jump down. You’ve got two hours.”
“Shit!” I exhaled as she ended the call. Pacing with the blue sudsy dye plastered to my head, I make my way downstairs.
The only venerable part of my heart was pierced at Zio asleep in front of the TV again. I couldn’t do this to him; force him to run again. Not after he saved my ass so many times before. I needed to fix this shit with Roque tonight. I needed to convince him our ten minutes in the closet was just a fluke… that there was nothing special about me—the soon to be blue haired girl just winging it through high school. Now, how to play it? Clingy? Boring? A drunk druggie?
Lost in my thoughts, I tucked the old blanket around Zio.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, gently kissing his cheek as I turned and walked quietly back upstairs then jumped back into the shower to rinse my hair.
But the blue just wasn’t enough. Hiding my eyes was my greatest armor. I texted Tati back asking her to bring whatever goodies she can pack quickly. Her mom does more than just regular haircuts and highlights. On the weekends, she often makes extra money working at an underground drag bar. The shit in her arsenal could make any washed-up girl look like a million bucks.
But I didn’t want to look like a million tonight. I wanted to look fierce in an almost scary sci-fi kind of way. Roque is old world. He might be young but old school values were ingrained on him. He’d never go for a girl so punk and edgy. I was a surprise who looked hot that night. Tonight, I wouldn’t resemble that girl one bit.
I put on a pair of skinny jeans and high-top chucks pairing it with a blue hoodie, soft and faded to the point tiny holes showed through the sleeves.
I snuck back into the kitchen and poured some convection sugar into a sandwich bag with a few aspirin to make it look like crushed up pills. I almost giggled as I pictured the look on his face if I snorted it in front of him. He was going to lose his mind—and not in a good way. His high-school sweetheart is going to be a badass rebel from hell.
I didn’t even need to sneak out via the roof. But I did triple check the alarm and all the deadbolts as I scurried down the block to Tati waiting in her grandfather’s old Toyota.
“How did you snake that again?”
“The same way you did the Explorer. Mom’s out making money at drag night and grandpa fell asleep at six.”
I shook my head. “I so never want to grow old.”
“You look like…?”
“I know. I want it to be this way.”
She paused taking me in. “Why? Are you scared he’ll find out you’re a virgin?”
I swallowed hard. “No. Because I’d never give that to him. I... I need him to just go away for Zio’s sake. Zio… he dumped Johnny Lamatti’s aunt hard. Back in New York, Zio dated her and then dumped her when she wanted more—she went crazy and stalked him. When I was only ten, she tried to have me kidnapped by the Lamatti outfit as payback for her broken ass heart. If Ralph and Johnny find me… they’ll find him.
“What? That’s crazy? That was years, ago right? Surely Johnny won’t give two fucks?”
“Who knows? His aunt’s on her third husband.”
“What happened to the first two?”
“They disappeared. Please Tati, I can’t do this to Zio. He likes it here. I don’t want to move anymore.”
“He’d make you move?”
“He’s already nervous about the Lamatti presence in Princeton over the past week. He barely leaves the house. Maybe he’s just a crazy, old man. But Tati, he’s my old man. You get me? He’s all I got.”
“Yeah, I get that. Okay, here.” She handed me a make-up case, “use the blue lipstick and go heavy on the black eyeliner. He hates street or steampunk.”
“I know.”
“You did your research.”
“You have no idea,” I murmured as I flipped the visor down and got to work. Tati started the engine and pulled out. We arrived at the party in less than fifteen. I had more boring brown lenses in. The twinge of guilt I felt for even faking out my only friend passed, as I asked her to wait for a minute so I could fix my contacts. She didn’t see me take the brown ones out then pop the blue ones in.
I looked electric. I was the blue in flame. I wanted to look ugly but somehow all I did was be pure fire.
“Fuck, D. Your plan might backfire.”
“It could. But it won’t.” I pulled out my baggie.
“D? What the fuck? No. Hell, no.”
“Don’t worry, Tati. Here,” I opened the bag and dipped a finger in the sugar. “It’s baking sugar.”
“Genius.” We high fived. “Are you ready?”
I popped a shoulder. “Never more.”
Just like the last party we were at; we walked past a few groups as we approached the house. Conversations stopped. Eyes gawked. Something was up. They were waiting for us to show, which meant word spread that Tati and I were some fucked-up sort of guests of honor or some shit.
I felt it; his gaze on me. It was hard and hot, pinning me down and yet I walked closer. Finally, my blue gaze collided with dark eyes that were just as on fire.
He stood silent at the top steps, waiting for me. He knew I’d show. Almost commanded it. But as we were about to reach the steps, I banked left, act bored, and stood in line to grab a beer.
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop the smug grin trying to appear. His sharp exhale felt like razor blades slicing across my back. I reached into a plastic bucket filled with ice, taking out the first thing my hand grabbed. I popped the top and turned around.
“Oh, hey.” I acted dumb. “Have you seen my friend?” I moved past as if he was just some guy; not one who leaves a lasting impression.
His eyebrow lifted. He didn’t say one word as he inspected me. It’s a test. Am I playing him or was he already played into thinking, dreaming and hoping I was real last time we met?
I shuffled on my feet, letting my free hand nervously fidget with the metal zipper on my hoodie. “I need to find her.”
He blocked my path. “Dude, I need a hit. Soon. I only came here hoping to find one. Hey, wait—your friend Johnny, he’ll hook me up right?” I leaned back on my heels hoping to give him a wide-eyed blue look of innocence. His face was stone. Hard. Cold. But he was pissed. It was evident in the way his jaw clenched and the muscle in his cheek ticked. The way his balled fist made its way to his front pocket.
“Sure.”
Surprised, I went with him as he grabbed my hand and led me inside. He out maneuvered me again. Called my bluff. My palms sweated. Would I really do this? How far was I willing to take my act? Keeping a clear mind was my number one rule of both offense and defense. We walked past couples grinding, past people playing cups, past all the bullshit. I expected him to go upstairs but instead he opened a basement door. I couldn’t see the bottom step. It was cloaked in muskiness and darkness.
“No.”
“What? How bad do you need your fix?”
I eyed him and the black void below. “Look. I need one okay. But someone fucked me up a while ago and I can’t go down there.”
He processed my words. One hand stroked my cheek. “I’d never let anyone, or anything hurt you.”
Liar.
He tugged me forward, testing me.
I shrunk back. “Never mind. I’ll find some prescription drugs from the bathroom cabinets.”
I moved back only to be tugged forward. “You’re serious, aren’t you.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I challenged.
He shook his head. “Go. Go get your fix.” Disgusted, he dropped my hand only to continue his descent. For a minute, he had me fooled. For seconds, I saw him wanting to protect me from the world. It tempted me. Some small twisted part wanted and wondered still what we could be if our fate wasn’t already written across the pages of some bad fairy tale. The kind where the princesses don’t wake up and the villains always win.
Twisting through the crowd I looked for Tati. She was sitting on a couch next to Le Blanc. He shot me a wink.
“Hey! Don’t let her disappear on me again,” he teased, as he dropped an arm around her shoulders.
The weight of another gaze landed on me. It was Johnny. He assessed me, calculating my risk to him and his boy.
I sat, took out my baggie and snorted sugar up my nose. Closing my eyes, it took everything I had not to sneeze or pee my pants since this was funny as all fuck. I kept my eyes closed and exhaled, as if in relief as I put the baggie back into my hoodie and slowly opened my eyes to his.
I guess he decided to follow me and caught my little performance. I took the glass from his hand and let the alcohol burn my throat.
“Thanks.” I let the empty glass roll from my hand to the floor.
“Tati, I’m out. You coming?” I moved to stand.
“We just got here.”
“Yeah we did and it’s boring as fuck.”
“Why don’t we change that?” Johnny taunted.
“Spin the bottle again?” I rolled my eyes. But I was ignored as Johnny and Roque received texts at the same time. Some silent exchange passed between them. It’s hard pretending to be high and getting drunk while secretly observing his every move.
“You wanna handle this now?” Johnny’s eyebrows lifted as his question hung in the air.
Roque gave a curt nod, his eyes narrowed as he tapped out a text and pocketed his phone. His gaze landed on me before lifting to focus on something or someone above my head.
“Ralf?” A sot voice gasped. Her tiny feet crossed the floor and I tried not to size her up as she halted in front of Roque.
She’s me.
Well the B-rated version. She’s petite, fine-boned with hair a deep shade of auburn like mine would be if it wasn’t disguised. Hers hung in loose waves down her back.
Roque’s accepted her soft touch as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. She gasped as he turned his head meeting her mouth instead. He full out kissed the fuck out of her while I watched. His hands held her close before he spun, shielding her body between him and the wall as he devoured her the way he did me.
Jealousy stabbed deep.
I hated him. Wanted to kill him and yet the thought of him feeling passion for anyone who wasn’t me was unacceptable.
My cheeks heated as Johnny busted me staring. “See something you want?”
“I sure do,” I murmured reaching past him to grab a drink off the low coffee table. He caught my wrist. “Tsk, tsk. No underage drinking on my watch.”
“Please,” I rolled my eyes. “You’ve done more illegal things than any of us could do in one lifetime.”
“Easy.” His fingered tightened on my wrist. Another pair of fingers circled my other wrist, tightening around like a vice. Roque’s eyes burned ice-cold as he stared down. The two of them start pulling me toward the door.
“What the fuck? I came here to party,” I protested.
“Oh, we’re going to party, baby. Party like you’ve never seen,” Roque promised with a sneer. My eyes met the girl he left behind. Her fingers were pressed to her swollen lips and her heart was in her eyes. I knew I wasn’t the only one who was caught up in Roque. She clearly was devastated he loved her than dropped her without a backward glance.
“Le Blanc? You coming’?” Johnny barked.
“Fuck no. I’ve just found my princess.” Tati batted her lashes and curled closer to his side. I shook my head pissed as all fuck that the girl I thought was my BFF was just watching me being carted off by two notorious mafia boys and not doing a damn thing to help. I tried not to feel completely crushed, but old wounds open. I’ve always been alone; left to fend for myself why should anything be different.
“You’re going to come in very handy, Blue. Do what we tell you and we’ll make sure you get your next hit, okay?” Johnny croons in my ear.
“I don’t sell my body for drugs.”
“No?” Roque asked huskily. “Then, you’re not like any addict I’ve ever met. They’d do anything to experience the high.”
I shrugged, lifting my chin. “I’m not like anyone.”
“No, you aren’t. Are you?” he replied, lifting the tips of my blue hair and twirling them between his fingers before he let it fall as we walked down the front steps toward a huge black on black SUV.
“In.” His hand, pressed into the small of my back. I turned, cranking my neck behind me, hoping desperately someone would stop this madness.
But no one did.
Roque slid behind the wheel, Johnny rode shotgun and the doors locked. Despite my attempts to open them they wouldn’t. The bastard laughed, “Child safety locks.”
A sharp rap came from the other side of the heavily tinted window. Roque grinned as Sebastian stood holding Tati tightly in his arms. “Room for two more?” The locks unclicked and I scrambled deftly opening the door to my left, but Roque was just as fast and caught me. “You’re a feisty one for being so coked up and high, eh?”
His azure eyes were sharp and the corners of his mouth lifted as he stared down into my face bathed in moonlight.
“I see right through you,” his whispered words landed on my lips like the barest caress.
In my mind’s eyes I saw him too. The teen who almost took my life, the man who just held another girl who could pass for the real me; the guy who tried to steal my soul once more that night in the closet. So many emotions, twisted and pull inside melting into a kaleidoscope of confusion.
“You don’t see jack shit,” I finally spat once my head slightly cleared. His gaze was full of heat and need as it fell to my lips. It lasted only seconds before his mask was firmly back into place. He pulled me forward and I fell into his embrace, plastered against his lean, muscular frame. My eyes squeezed shut as I fought my own body’s desire for my sworn enemy. Damn hormones. They fucked up my plans to bring this devil to his knees.
The backdoor to the SUV opened from behind nudging my butt closer into his hard thighs. “Stop fighting fate, Blue.”
My chin lifted. “That’s what I’ve done my whole life.”
His eyes the color of the ocean at night searched mine looking for the pieces to my puzzle, trying to solve the push and pull between us. His hands on me felt like shackles my body didn’t want to fight but my soul couldn’t forgive his.
His head dipped, his kiss hovered seconds away. My hands pushed against his chest, but it was of no use as his lips captured mine.
He tasted of another. Her lip gloss was overly sweet. Bile rushed up with anger. I ripped my mouth from his. “I don’t do leftovers. I prefer to be the main meal.”
