by Olivia Gates
A tall, slender man with an eternally boyish face, Paolo looked younger than his thirty-one years. Until you looked into his eyes. There you could see the toll of being a father four times over, with the fifth—or only Julia knew how many more—on the way.
Paolo had kept in touch with Leandro over the years. Not that they’d been close before, but he’d become a better friend after the breach than before it. Leandro had appreciated that. Even if he didn’t appreciate Paolo’s choice of wife. When that choice had led to Leandro’s meeting Phoebe, he couldn’t have endorsed it enough. Not anymore.
“Leandro! So good to see you back in Castaldini.” Leandro let himself be pulled into Paolo’s hug and kissed on both cheeks. Paolo pulled back but kept both hands on his arms as he beamed at him. “I hope this time you’re here to stay.”
Leandro smiled as he extracted himself, trying to make it seem a natural move. He was bursting with impatience to get this visit over with.
He got right to the point. “That’s still up in the air. And it’s why we’re here.” He explained his plan and Phoebe’s role in it.
As he finished his explanations, a sense of oppression came over him. Her eyes were on him. Had she wanted to do the explaining? Had he made amends only to commit a worse offense?
He tried to gauge her reaction as she stood there, covered in kids, and the sense of oppression deepened. They looked as if they were extensions of her life force, made of her flesh. As they were. Partially. So many of the desires he’d repressed since she’d walked out on him besieged him, forced him to look, acknowledge. Things he thought he’d never have, because she’d left his life. Now, seeing her this way, the thought of her growing bigger with…
Paolo moved into his line of vision, interrupting his fevered musings. “I really hope you come to the right decision. You know what I think that is. You’ll make a helluva king, Leandro.”
“No need to kiss up to him yet, Paolo. We don’t know if he’s going to be crown prince this time or if he’ll blow it again.”
Silence fell like acid rain in the wake of Julia’s vindictive comment.
Then Paolo’s laugh boomed. “Mia moglie cara—my darling wife, the consummate diplomat. Guess Phoebe sucked that trait right out of your family’s gene pool and left you with none.”
“Yeah, and I don’t envy her the job it landed her with.”
Julia didn’t even try to disguise the glare she impaled Leandro with. To his delight. It gave him license to glare back.
But instead of teaching his nemesis that Phoebe wasn’t an extra in the play starring her, he just wanted to snatch Phoebe away. And never let her return.
“Say, caro, how about you and the kids show Leandro around?”
Leandro bared his teeth at Julia in a parody of a smile. “Thanks, but no thanks. We have to get going.”
Julia’s full lips thinned. “Okay, since you won’t take a hint. I want to talk to my sister. Alone. Do you mind?”
Phoebe couldn’t believe that Leandro had submitted to Paolo’s cajoling and left her and Julia alone. She’d thought there’d be an explosion. A belated one between the two most important people in her life who’d detested each other on sight. Probably more proof that she and Leandro weren’t meant to be.
Now accusation simmered in Julia’s eyes as she stopped her chair a couple of feet away. Then she stood up.
Phoebe winced. The effort it took Julia to stand always left her feeling traumatized. The two steps she took to come nose to nose with her were even harder. Julia really wanted to lay into her. And she could guess why.
“So that’s your secret,” Julia hissed, her voice rough with anger and hurt. “The reason you’ve been frozen ever since we came here, the reason you do anything you can to avoid having a personal life.”
“I have a personal life, Julia. I’m a person, and I’m alive—”
“Don’t. Just don’t, Phoebe.”
“Uh-oh. If I’m Phoebe now, things must be dire indeed.”
“Phoebe, shut up. I’m so angry I could kick your stubborn ass. You still think I’m just an invalid, don’t you? You still think you have to protect me from even a moment’s discomfort? What can I do to make you realize I’m not the clingy, needy mess I once was? That I can support the people I love? Support you? When will you stop giving and accept that I have something to give back?”
“Darling, of course you have…”
“Don’t you dare placate me, Phoebe. This isn’t about me, dammit. I’m not the center of the universe, so for God’s sake stop putting me in the center of yours. This is about you.”
“What about me, Jules? I have a wonderful, ever-growing family, you rabbit, an incredible job, a palace to call my home, and the fact that I haven’t yet found the man for me—”
“But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You think you found him ten years ago, and that’s why you never gave anyone else a chance. Even Armando, that droolicious hunk of a human being. You blew it with him, big time. And it’s all over that ex-royal pain in the rear, isn’t it?”
Phoebe’s lips twitched with distress and amusement. “He’s royal again as of this afternoon, by the way.”
“You’re not glossing over this, do you hear me?”
“I think the whole capital can hear you, sweetie.”
“Don’t sweetie me or I swear…ooh. And all this time you kept me in the dark, you overprotective, suffering-in-silence…rat.”
“Who said anything about suffering—”
“I say. I felt it. And I should have known what it was about. At my wedding when that hunk of rock almost made love to you on the dance floor and then dragged you out to the terrace and you came back looking turned inside out, I was sure he’d kissed you senseless. And that you, Ms. No Man Ever Gets Past the Inspection Stage, let him, worried me sick. I spent half my wedding night interrogating Paolo about him. He said he respected Leandro as a prince and a businessman, but that as a man, he thought there was no colder fish in the known universe. I laid into you the moment I returned from my honeymoon, but you were all, ‘I haven’t seen him again and nothing happened that night.’ But you were seeing him all the time, weren’t you?”
“I wasn’t exactly seeing him all the time, Jules. He didn’t live on Castaldini, remember?”
Julia staggered around, threw herself back into her chair with a furious screech. “You threw me off the scent so well, and I believed that not even that Roman god could fool you! I was in a bad way at the time, and I just dismissed the whole thing. Whenever your tranquil act cracked, I’d say, nah, not that, not Phoebes. Paolo did wonder how Leandro could afford to come to Castaldini so frequently during his campaign. But he was coming back for you, keeping you like a dirty little secret, forcing you to lie to me and to everyone, wasn’t he? And now he’s back and he wants to play some more, that…that…bastard.”
So she hadn’t been a good enough actress. Oh, well. Time to come clean. She sighed. “You’re talking as if I was a minor who was seduced by a dirty old man, Jules. He didn’t coerce me into anything.”
“But he’s coercing you now, isn’t he? Tell me he is. You can’t be that stupid twice in a lifetime with the same man.”
“He’s not as bad as you think, Jules. In fact, I’m discovering that he’s very, very good.”
“Oh, no, he’s messed with your mind again already.”
“Maybe. But as totally moronic as it may sound to you, I’m excited about this. I get to be his bridge back to Castaldini, and I believe I can do both him and the kingdom a serious service.”
“That’s not the kind of service he’s looking for from you!”
She laughed at Julia’s venom. “Oh, that, too. But one thing you don’t have to worry about is him forcing me into anything.”
“I get the feeling it would take force to pry you off him.”
Phoebe laughed again. Leave it to Julia to hit her over the head with the truth. Half the truth here, though. When it was time to let go, she’d walk away.
She already had that routine down pat.
“What’s so wrong in being with the one man who ever got—and as it turns out, who’ll ever get—my motor running?”
“You want me to point out all the mistakes in this picture? One, you’re not on a level playing field. He wants entertainment, you want serious, and commitment, and forever—”
Phoebe snorted. “You make me sound like so much fun, Jules.”
“Okay, Phoebes.” Julia’s tone switched from exasperated to coaxing. “I understand, honest. I mean, I’m deliriously in love with Paolo and I still got the wind knocked out of me when Leandro walked in with you. Then he came closer, spoke…and whew. What I’m saying is, he has some serious brain-shutdown powers, even in completely committed women’s cases. So I totally sympathize. But you must resist the pull of the dark side!”
“So now I’m facing the return of the Jedi?” Phoebe hooted. “Oh, Jules, I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you. But this is my choice now as it was then. I want this. And when I’m gone, don’t you dare take your frustration out on Paolo, hear? Don’t go around being discontented, not over me this time. Or I’m sending Stella to scare you back to your best behavior.”
Julia’s gaze turned hot at the mention of the woman who’d once tried to wreck her marriage, the woman Phoebe had most minded seeing Leandro escort in public during his and Phoebe’s affair. “You’re a master at subterfuge, aren’t you? And to think I never suspected it.”
“I have many hidden talents.”
“So when are you going to stop hiding them?”
All temper evaporated from Julia’s eyes, all feigned lightness from Phoebe’s. This was it, then. Moment of truth.
And the truth was, she’d overstayed…maybe not her welcome, but her usefulness in Castaldini. One of the reasons she’d ended her ill-advised engagement to Armando had been that she’d recognized it as an attempt to revive the need for her to stay there. Julia had adapted to her condition, hadn’t needed Phoebe’s support for years now. It had been her who’d stuck around, avoided facing the facts that her purpose had dwindled to nonexistent and she was going nowhere staying in Castaldini. King Benedetto had created a job for her where she was needed. But she wasn’t indispensable. Not to Castaldini, not to Julia or the children. Not to…anyone.
The one thing that had been keeping her there was being at a loss as to what to do next, where to go. She’d always put everyone else first, let their needs dictate her course and choices. First her mother, then Julia, then Leandro, then Castaldini. And her use had expired for each, one way or the other. Now she had to get a life of her own.
And Julia was calling her on putting a time limit on getting one.
Phoebe looked her sister square in the eyes. “How about now? And I’ll start by going west with Leandro, taking every day as it comes.”
“You’re not fooling me. You did that once before with him.”
“Oh, it was different then.” She’d jumped in blind then, had had her eyes opened the hardest way. Now she saw exactly what she was getting into. “This time I’ll finally get the running start I need to launch into the life I should have started living years ago.”
Before Julia could volley and take the conversation deeper, Phoebe swooped her up in a bear hug, then made her escape through the door where Paolo and the kids had kidnapped Leandro.
And there he was, at the end of the immaculate gardens, the one thing she craved. If she didn’t already know it, the tension radiating from him even from that far, the way his gaze was pinned to the door he knew she’d exit from, would have told her she was on top of his list of must-haves, too…
She blinked, gasped.
Exiting from the massive columned promenade, his formidable frame etched in stark light and deep shadow in the setting sun, was Armando. Her ex-fiancé. Heading toward her on an interceptive course.
Nine
Okay. This was unexpected. Which meant…Julia.
Matchmaking again? This time not to save her from spin-sterhood, but from depravity? But how could she have gotten him here this fast?
She sensed Leandro’s tension rising as his dash toward her was aborted by Paolo and the kids. Armando had already reached her, and Leandro stood there like a volcano about to erupt, letting the kids jump all over him with Paolo evidently talking his ear off.
Armando stopped before her, all male and beautiful with bronze hair, eyes and skin, radiating vitality and steady power. He bent, kissed her cheek, had her asking herself yet again why she couldn’t feel the tiniest twinge of desire for him. A question the answer to which was standing right there in the distance.
“You’re looking beautiful, as always.” The smile didn’t reach his eyes. They were serious, intent. “I asked Julia to let me know the moment you were back. She informed me only half an hour ago, and I’m thankful that I wrapped everything up and ran here, since I was just informed you’re flying out again immediately.”
And Julia hadn’t said where or with whom? Seems she hadn’t. Weird, but thanks anyway, Jules. “Yeah. How’ve you been, Armando?”
“I’ve been thinking about us…” Uh-oh “…regretting that I agreed to end our betrothal. I know you have to go, but just hear me out, think it over while you’re away. I might never love again as I once loved, and I don’t inspire your passion as you feel a husband should, but with your serene and steady temperament, our relationship could be powerful and enduring. Towering emotions—trust me—are distressing and addictive, and they bring little, if any, happiness.”
Yeah, tell her about it. This was heavy. And very untimely. But she respected Armando too much not to give him all due consideration. She exhaled. “You can have that kind of relationship, Armando…with anyone else. I’m not the one to build something powerful and enduring with you. I’m so much the opposite of steady and serene, it’s painfully funny hearing you call me that.”
“How can you underestimate yourself, when you’ve been such a stabilizing influence in so many lives since you first set foot on Castaldini? Without you, Castaldini would have gained many new enemies and wouldn’t have been able to prevent a few old ones from gaining ground. Without you, your sister’s and my cousin’s marriage wouldn’t have lasted one year, let alone ten.”
“Whoa. Don’t go overestimating me to counteract my alleged underestimation of myself. Paolo and Julia love each other.”
“And their love, like mine and Donatella’s, could have been total chaos, until one or both couldn’t bear it anymore.”
“You never told me it was like that with Donatella.”
“It was so intense, it sometimes left us gasping for breath. The good times were heaven, but the bad times were hell, and, regretfully, they lasted longer. Both of us were older and stronger than Paolo and Julia, and we weathered the hellish parts and would have done so forever had she lived. But I fully believe that without your support and counsel, the intensity of Paolo and Julia’s love, muddied by his impetuousness and her insecurity, would have pushed them apart in less than a year. They have a beautiful marriage, and Julia is that giving, nurturing wife and mother now because of you.”
“Oh, no, you’re not handing me all the credit here. Julia struggled long and hard, and Paolo did and still does everything in his power to do his part and more. Even though I may have helped, she would have done the same for me had the situation been reversed.”
“So you think your role isn’t to be admired or thanked?”
“I don’t care one way or another for admiration or thanks. But whatever my role, as you call it, was, it’s over.”
“Exactly. And you’re free now to start a new phase in your life. To live for yourself at last.”
Everyone must be fed up with her. They were all bringing it up. She huffed. “Yeah, now I’ve run out of excuses not to.”
“Causes, Phoebe. And you’ll never run out of those to champion. I ask only for the honor of sharing your life while you find more lives to enrich. You and I, we’re kindred spirit
s.”
“We may be, Armando, but I have nothing to offer you.”
Suddenly he winced, his eyes flashing gold. “Dio—how didn’t I see this before? It’s another man, isn’t it? A man you loved and lost, but not like I lost Donatella? This man hurt you, didn’t he? But you still can’t move on. You are still waiting for him.”
She gave denial a second’s consideration, especially since she wasn’t waiting for Leandro as he intimated. She just nodded.
The flare in his eyes and the step closer he took seethed with urgency. “Don’t let that man claim more of your life.”
She shook her head wryly. “I’m done letting people, or life, do things to me. I’m taking charge, as of now.”
“I’ll hold you to that. And Phoebe…” Her heart dropped a beat at the harshness that suddenly blazed on his face as he cast a look behind him. “It’s Leandro, isn’t it?”
This time she didn’t consider denying it. She even told him how things stood. She was done hiding things.
Armando digested this with a frown. “He might be the power Castaldini needs now, but he always was like a force of nature, unstoppable and indiscriminate on his quest for greatness. Now that he’s fulfilled his potential…” He suddenly caught her by the shoulders. “Stay away from him, Phoebe.”
Her eyes escaped his, clung to Leandro. “I can’t, Armando.”
“If he hurt you before, he will destroy you now.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not a silly twenty-year-old anymore.”
“It’s because you’re a mature and very sensible thirty-year-old that I am worried. What you felt when you were barely an adult will pale in comparison to what you’re capable of feeling now.”
She touched his hard cheek, loving him, but knowing she’d never be in love with him. She had terminal one-man-woman disease. “Here’s another possible outcome to all this. That I’ll put things in perspective, purge them and move on.”
