by Lexie Ray
It was during one of these wanderings that I ran into someone completely unexpected.
“The Corn Queen says you should eat some nachos!” a giant corncob bellowed into my face as I walked blearily down the street. “You’re way too skinny, girl! Get in here and chow down — oh! Sol! I didn’t recognize you!”
Jennet, completely ensconced in a corncob costume, threw her head back and laughed riotously.
“I’m so sorry for yelling at you,” she said. “I yell at everyone like that, trying to get them to eat junk food this early in the morning. It’s insanity.”
A passerby eyed Jennet and me suspiciously.
“Junk food is good for you!” Jennet hollered, making the man jump and walk away quickly. “Do you hear me? It’s good for your soul!”
She cackled again as her shout echoed down the street, making the man hunch forward in an effort to hide himself.
“This job has its perks sometimes,” she said. “Come on inside. I’ve been out here for a solid hour. A Corn Queen needs her breaks, you know.”
Still unsure of just what was going on, I followed her into the tiny snack shop. In her costume, Jennet barely fit herself, coming perilously close to upending a vat of nacho cheese warming on a countertop. She squished one young customer against a refrigerator before extricating the kid and shuffling into a corner and plopping down in a folding chair beside a card table. She waved her hand at an empty chair, slightly rusted, and I took a seat, pretty sure that’s what she wanted me to do. Jennet was a strange one.
“What a mess,” she murmured, halfway to herself, before grabbing a bottle of water. “Anyway, what are you doing here? It’s been forever since we’ve seen you, and that’s not fair to our bellies.”
The barbecue at Adam’s house with Faith and everyone seemed like ages ago. I’d been working so hard for so long, focused only on getting the money to ensure Antonio’s safety.
“I’m sorry,” I said, resting my chin on my fist as I watched Jennet gulp down water from the bottle. “I’ve been awfully busy.”
“Well, that’s unacceptable,” she announced, wiping her mouth on her costume. “I hereby relieve you of your busy life and demand you come spend time with people who like you.”
I smiled. “If only it were that easy.”
“Oh, no, it is that easy,” Jennet corrected. “The Corn Queen has decreed it. You’re here now, anyway, and that’s a start. Can I get you something to eat or drink? It’s all crap, but really, you’re skin over bones.”
I looked down at my hands and wondered if that was a true observation. I never really felt hungry. All the dancing and physical labor tempered my appetite. It was hard to justify buying food, too, when Antonio’s life hung in the balance, dependent on me getting the rest of the money together.
“I’m really not hungry,” I said, “but thank you.”
“Sol, I know something has to look good to you,” Jennet said, spreading her hands to indicate the selection of packaged goods. Hot dogs rolled on a greasy little grill, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of Xander. What was he doing? Why hadn’t he been back to see me? I regretted sneaking out of the hotel and away from him, but I’d had to go start my shift at the club. Had he taken offense?
“Really, I’m fine,” I said, smiling and trying to banish all thoughts of Xander from my mind. That wasn’t what I needed to be dwelling on right now.
“How about a water, at least?” she asked, reaching for the refrigerator. “It’s sweltering out there, and I know I’m not the only one feeling it.”
I grinded my teeth a little — why wouldn’t Jennet take no for an answer?
“To tell you the truth, I really can’t afford it right now,” I said, crossing my arms stiffly over my chest.
Jennet burst out into laughter before yanking a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and plunking it down in front of me.
“When the Corn Queen offers you something, you take it,” she said. “Everything’s on the house for friends and family, Sol. Don’t be ridiculous.”
It’d been a long time since someone had called me their friend. Maybe I was just tired, or grateful, or even just that hungry for attention, support, and food. Just as suddenly as Jennet had burst into laughter at my admission of being broke, I burst into tears.
“No, no, no,” Jennet chanted as sobs made my shoulders heave, made me gasp for air. “No crying, no crying. The Corn Queen says no crying.”
She folded me into her arms and yanked me right into the front of her voluminous costume. How did she survive that thing? It had to be made out of a nightmarish blend of felt and polyester. Under the Miami sun, it had to bake whoever was so unlucky to be inside.
“I’m going to mess up your costume,” I said, hiccupping for breath even as the tears kept falling.
“No, you won’t,” Jennet said calmly, not loosening her grip on me one bit. “I once spilled a whole tub of chili down the front of it and it came right off. This costume came from hell itself, and cannot be destroyed.”
I laughed in spite of my confusing woe. Even I couldn’t pinpoint a specific reason for my tears. I was worried about Antonio, stressed about making the money for the ransom, and missing the companionship of that sole date with Xander. I wasn’t meant to go through my life alone. I needed people in it, needed the support of friends and loved ones.
Jennet’s completely natural — if slightly sticky — hug was the most physical contact I’d had since spending the night with Xander, and it had been too long without so much as touching another human being. I was discovering that I was strong enough to stand on my own two feet here, but even the strongest of people needed someone to fall back on every now and then.
“Thanks,” I said, my voice muffled by the costume. “Thanks for letting me cry on you.”
“No thanks needed,” Jennet said placidly. “Are you done crying now?”
“I think so.”
She immediately released me and leaned back, peering into my face.
“Drink that water,” she said. “I’m going to get you some nachos, and you’re going to tell me all about it.”
I barely knew Jennet, but her kindness loosened my tongue. The nachos were cheap fare, but they tasted excellent to me, and as soon as I was done with the water, she poured me an enormous paper cup full of bubbly soda.
I poured out my soul to Jennet, regaling her with my utter loneliness, my attempts at saving money, the grind of working at the club, the hurt when Xander hadn’t contacted me again after our magical day together, the confusion over whether I should be hurt over a man when I had a boyfriend in another country. She sat in rapt attention, saying nothing except to urge me on, to ask a question to prompt me to explain something further.
“I knew that life was going to be difficult after Antonio got deported, but I had no idea it was going to be this impossible,” I said, chasing a bit of cheese around the bowl with a piece of chip.
“Wait, deported?” Jennet’s confused voice made me look up from my junk food feast. “How did that happen?”
I swallowed. I’d made a mistake. I’d gotten too comfortable, and I’d let something slip that I shouldn’t have. Was this what happened to Antonio when the police were questioning him? Had they lulled him into a false sense of security, then pounced?
“It’s just that I thought everyone from Cuba got to stay,” Jennet said quickly. “That’s all. I could be wrong.”
“I don’t understand all of it, myself,” I said carefully. “But that’s what happened.”
“Did he commit a crime?” she asked.
“No!” I exclaimed. “He would never! He’s a good man.”
“Maybe I could introduce you to a lawyer I know,” Jennet said. “We kind of dated — or at least he wanted to, and I turned him down — but there’s no hard feelings. He does some pro bono work sometimes. If there was wrongdoing on the part of the authorities, maybe there’s something he could help with. He loves sticking it to the man. Probably has daddy
issues.”
I shook my head. As much as I would’ve loved having that kind of help offered to me when Antonio was first taken, it was out of my reach now. There were too many secrets, too many lies, and I wasn’t even telling Jennet the whole truth at this moment. I probably didn’t deserve help if I couldn’t even tell the person offering the entire story.
“That’s all right,” I said. “We’re working on it already. That’s the money thing — I’m saving up … for working on this.”
I had to be careful here. I couldn’t reveal more than I already had. I couldn’t put myself in danger, not when Antonio was depending on me to secure the ransom. And I didn’t want to put Jennet in an uncomfortable situation. She was being so kind to me, and I wanted to keep hold of my friends, however tenuous.
“You’re having trouble earning enough money to save after your expenses,” Jennet deduced. “Are you having trouble netting escorting gigs at the club? I know that when Faith was scrambling for cash, that’s how she earned a lot of what she needed.”
I blinked a couple of times, surprised. It was helpful that Jennet knew so much about my job already, and I had Faith to thank for that.
“Well, I had one really good escort this one time …” I said, trailing off.
“Xander,” Jennet supplied for me. “He sounds really hot.”
I shook my head quickly, trying not to latch on to that fact. It was just a distraction I didn’t need.
“He was a good date,” I said. “I had fun with him — maybe too much fun. It paid well, but I felt weird escorting other men after that. I kind of hoped Xander would come back to the club, but when he didn’t … I just sort of gave up on it.”
“You have a thing for Xander,” Jennet said, tapping her fingers quickly on the table.
I gulped. “You must think I’m the worst person in the world,” I said. “I’m trying to save all this money to help my boyfriend and the guy I’ve earned the most money off of, I have feelings for.”
“Sol, love is love,” Jennet said, patting my hand. “You can’t help but hold on for the ride when it finds you.”
“It’s not right,” I said. “I can’t love Xander — I don’t. Antonio is the one I love. He means everything to me. He saved my life. He is my life.”
“Whatever happens, happens,” she said. “Just don’t beat yourself up about it. If Xander makes you happy, I’d say go for it. Damn. Two great loves in one lifetime? Can you spread the wealth, please?”
I heaved a sigh. The idea of love had never popped in to the equation with Xander. It was ludicrous to consider it now. That had been Jennet’s analysis, not mine. I could maybe have a little crush on Xander. That wasn’t as harmful, was it? Crushes happened all the time, not love. I loved Antonio. That wasn’t something I could just forget about, not when he needed me.
“I’d let you take Xander off my hands if I knew where to find him,” I said, wondering why the simple statement made me shudder with dread. I doubted that, given the opportunity, I’d be able to do such a thing — even if I did like Jennet and wanted her to be happy. What did I need with two men? I didn’t. All I needed was Antonio.
“You know, we could kind of use some morning help around here,” Jennet said, her eyes roving over the snack shop. “Granted, I don’t know why the hell people need nachos and shit in the morning, but they buy them in bulk. Right now, I’m the only one working mornings, and I have to come in from outside to fix people’s orders in this freaking suit.”
Several customers browsing the selection of beverages in the refrigerators gave Jennet a baleful look, but she ignored them completely.
I perked up considerably. “You’d talk to the owner about hiring me?”
“Damn straight,” she said, nodding. “Whenever you had the time, you could come in before your shift starts at the club and work here. We get tips sometimes. They’re probably nowhere near what you’re used to making while dancing, but they sweeten the hourly rate here.”
“That would be amazing,” I gushed, grabbing Jennet’s hands. “Would you really do that for me?”
“Sol, honestly, you’d be doing me a personal favor if you came to work here,” she confessed. “I get so bored in the morning. I’d probably relate better to the customers and be a better Corn Queen if I had someone here who motivated me.”
I gulped. “You know, there is one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I really don’t want to wear the corn costume,” I said. “No offense.”
“None taken, and the corn suit shall never be yours.” Jennet grinned. “That offer was never on the table. I will always be the Corn Queen. It’s hot, stinky, and messy, but God, I love it.”
And that was all it took to start spending my mornings at the snack shop with Jennet. It was good to be around a friend, and better to be earning more money toward Antonio’s ransom. I learned very quickly how to prepare the shop’s menu of snacks, and with Jennet’s support, was soon even earning tips for being friendly, fast, and accurate.
“You can sling hot dogs and nachos and snow cones with the best of them, Sol!” Jennet would holler in through the open doorway from time to time. It was also perfectly acceptable — according to Jennet — for the snack shop’s employees to fill their bellies out of the larders. It might not have been all the nutrients I needed, but I was more likely to eat if I didn’t have to pay for it. I put a little bit of weight on, but I’d needed to. The costumes I’d been wearing at the club had been fitting more loosely than I’d liked.
One big relief at the snack shop had been the fact that my tips and pay were done in cash only — under the table, so to speak. I didn’t fill out an application, didn’t show my nonexistent forms of ID, didn’t have to make up a social security number. Jennet vouched for me, and that was apparently good enough for our employer.
I wasn’t making an embarrassment of riches at the snack shop, but it was helping me to save more money, to get past the bumps of my essential expenses in order to pick away at the ransom.
I split my time between the snack shop and the club as best I could. Another unforeseen perk was that all the extra labor was making me sleep at night again. As soon as I would get home from the club at the end of the night, having helped clean tables and sweep and wipe down every surface in preparation for the next day’s business, I would fall on the couch and fall asleep almost immediately. Most of the time, I wouldn’t even get into my pajamas. Slumber came too quickly.
What started out as a grind was swiftly becoming a rhythm — a hectic rhythm, but something I could dance to, nonetheless. I enjoyed being around Jennet’s near-constant exuberance in the morning, and I enjoyed having someplace to go for the afternoon and night. Like it or not, the club had become a community. Seeing Parker each day gave me a small degree of comfort amid everything. She was solid, like a rock, and if she could keep going after all these years, so could I.
But everything was thrown for a loop the night that Xander came back.
I wasn’t sure how he found me. Maybe he asked around inside. Maybe Parker herself had pointed him in the right direction. But I was out back, getting some air in the fenced-in area where the dancers usually took smoke breaks. I’d just finished a long set of private dances for an apparent bachelor party, and I was out there to recoup my strength and energy before I was called back up to the stage. I was feeling good, counting the bills in my head over and over again, adding that to my total, and subtracting that to the ransom. Little by little, I was shuttling away that amount I was sure I’d never earn. It seemed like a miracle — if I hadn’t been doing all of the hard work that was seeing this whole thing to its fruition.
The heavy door back in to the club heaved open, and I turned, smiling, to greet whichever dancer was about to join me in the starry night — well, what you could see of the stars. The orange of the lights from Miami made all but the brightest disappear, but I took comfort in the fact that I knew they were there. In the darkest parts of my journey to Ame
rica with Antonio, the stars had shown so furiously in the night sky that they were vaguely terrifying.
But instead of a fellow dancer to come keep my lonely vigil, it was Xander.
He was looking as fine as ever, as if he’d simply stepped out of my memories and back into my present life. He lacked the suit I’d first seen him in, and he looked good in jeans and a dark polo shirt. His arms bulged with the muscles that had pinned me to the bed, and I shuddered at the sight of them gleaming in the light of the night sky.
“What are you doing here?” I blurted out, unable to wait for him to say whatever piece he’d come to feed me. I was so taken aback that I didn’t know what I should be saying, what would be the right things to say. I was simply shocked. Shocked … and delighted.
“I tried to stay away,” he said, shrugging and shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked down at the pavement briefly, but his eyes dragged his face back upward, back to lock gazes with me. I was fiercely glad to see him, no matter what he had to say.
“Why did you feel like you had to stay away?” I asked, wincing a little at his confession. That hurt, but not badly enough to dim my happiness at seeing him. He licked his lips and I shivered, oblivious to the heavy heat of the humid dark.
“Things are enormously complicated, Sol,” Xander sighed, staring at me. “More complicated than you know.”
I swallowed. “Did you get back with your wife?” If I couldn’t have him, he deserved happiness. I couldn’t just figure to put him on a shelf, away from any possibility of being with another woman. Still, I dreaded the answer to my question.
“No,” he said. “That’s one thing that isn’t complicated. We’re in the middle of a divorce. It’s nasty, predictably, but it’ll be over someday. That’s the only good thing about it. It has to eventually be over.”
“I’m sorry,” I offered, but he shook his head.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” he said. “It was something between me and her. Something that had nothing to do with you. It still doesn’t.”
