by M. S. Parker
“There’s nothing more to be done.”
And there was the voice of the Hunter patriarch. When he said things were finished, they were finished.
I just never imagined that he’d be talking about himself.
Grandfather was sleeping again, and Cai had left, muttering something about coffee. I was certain he was going to try to hunt down Dr. Kassum, or one of the senior staff. Once he got something in his head, he didn’t give up for anything. I wasn’t going to try to talk him out of it though. A small part of me even hoped that he’d prove all of us wrong and come up with a solution that made all this worry and waiting for nothing.
But I didn’t believe it would happen any more than I believed Grandfather would miraculously get better. I saw it in his eyes. He was done fighting.
“How is he?”
I pushed myself out of the chair as Slade and Blake came into the room. Slade had texted me when he arrived, letting me know that Blake was only a few minutes behind him and that the two of them would be coming in together.
Of all of us, Slade was the only one who looked like Mom. He had her dark brown hair, easy smile, and a lot of the same features just morphed into something a bit more masculine. His eyes were the only thing of Dad he had, but his baby blues sparkled the same way Mom’s always had when she laughed.
With a start, I realized that this year, he’d be the same age Mom had been when she died. I wondered if he knew it.
“He’s been awake on and off,” I said quietly. “But when he’s awake, his mind’s clear.”
Slade nodded, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “You know, I think a part of me thought he’d outlive us all.”
“I know what you mean,” I said.
Of all my brothers, Slade was the easiest to get along with. Maybe that was why he’d chosen to move to Texas, so he wouldn’t get caught in the middle like he had so often as a kid. It hadn’t been fair of us to do that to him, especially me. I’d been the oldest, and I should’ve looked out for him more, but this wasn’t the time or place to discuss old grievances and open old wounds.
I gave Slade a half-hug, trying to remember the last person I’d hugged before this, and I couldn’t think of anyone. Blossom had done the sympathetic arm squeeze thing, and that was rare for her. It wasn’t so much a professional thing with her as it was her personality. The women I slept with never hugged me. We kissed, fucked, and sometimes laid next to each other, but we didn’t hug.
When I stepped back, I turned my attention to my youngest brother. We wouldn’t hug. By the time he was ten, he’d declared that he was too old to be ‘hugged like a baby’ and that had been that. Like all of us, he had blue eyes and was tall, but he was muscular too, making him look even bigger. His light brown hair was scruffy, longer than when I’d last seen him, and he had at least three days’ growth of a beard on his face. He looked more like someone we’d dragged from the mountains than part of one of Boston’s most prominent families.
The sullen glower on his face didn’t help matters much.
The circumstances being what they were, however, made me focus on what was important.
“I’m glad you guys made it.”
The in-time part of my sentence hung in the air between us.
I stepped aside and let my brothers walk over to the bed while I hung back. I’d had my time, and it was now their turn.
Slade had been only five when our parents died, but he had a few memories of them. Blake had been four, but he didn’t have any memories of anything before the accident. He’d been in the car, conscious and crying until the paramedics had arrived. We’d all lost our parents and a sister, but Aimee had been his twin, and they’d been inseparable.
This was going to be hard on all of us, but I suspected it would be the worst for Blake. We were losing our grandfather, but Blake was losing the closest thing to a father that he remembered. With our own relationships so…distant, I doubted Grandfather’s death would bring us together. If anything, it would tear us even further apart. I needed to accept the fact that, barring a miracle, this would probably be the last time I saw my brothers, maybe ever.
Sixteen
Syll
Today was all about getting back to normal. Because everything that’d happened in the past week had not been normal. Not at all. Not the part where a gorgeous billionaire kissed me after someone had trashed my bar and threatened me. Not the part where I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
None of it.
But today, for three blissful hours, I was going to do something that had nothing to do with any of that. I would throw out dead flowers and water live ones, talk with those who didn’t have anyone else, and offer assistance to families. I’d pour water and get ice chips, throw away trash. Basically, everything that was the glory of being a volunteer at a hospital, I would do.
This was the hospital where they’d brought my dad after his heart attack. He hadn’t survived to make it to a room, but the doctor who’d told me that they’d done everything they could had found me a couple hours later, after Billy had gone home, and she’d sat with me. When I’d come back a few days later to thank her, she’d suggested that I look, into volunteering. A month later, I showed up, and I’d been doing the same two to three times a month ever since.
I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, grabbed my coat, and headed outside. It was colder today than it had been in a while, and I shivered as I walked down to the bus station. It hadn’t snowed on Christmas, but the weather was calling for it today, and the gray, overcast sky told me it would be here soon.
I used to like the snow, especially when it was so deep that no one would come into the bar except the men who couldn’t live without the booze. Even most of them had chosen to stick close to home rather than slog all the way down to our bar, no matter how much they might like it. That had meant Dad and I had the bar to ourselves, and a whole world of white outside.
Those sorts of days hadn’t happened often, but when they had, we’d stay in and read, or go outside and make snowmen in the street, or maybe watch a movie and drink hot cocoa. I hadn’t understood until I was older that days like that had cost us money, but even that hadn’t been able to make me regret those wonderful memories.
I didn’t like those days now. They meant sitting in an empty bar alone, trying to determine what I’d have to cut so I didn’t lose the heat or electricity. They meant trying to keep things positive as I texted Gilly while also trying not to snap at Billy when he asked for phone sex.
Tonight, wasn’t supposed to be that bad, but Monday nights were the slowest nights anyway, and I’d estimated that I’d spend more money trying to keep the place open than I would lose if I closed it tonight. So, I’d made the executive decision, and for the first time since my father’s funeral, the bar was closed.
I shifted in my seat, earning a dirty look from the old woman sitting next to me. She’d been sniffing and clearing her throat from the moment I’d sat down, clutching her purse like I was going to steal it.
“Is there something I can do for you?” I asked, keeping my tone as sweet as possible.
“You’re that Reeve girl, aren’t you?”
“Do I know you?”
“I used to see you with your father at that bar. Distasteful, I used to say. Having a child at a bar. Won’t come to any good.”
I smiled. “You’re right. I’m twenty-four years old, and I own my own business. No good at all.” I stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll get off here.”
The wind stung my face as soon as I stepped off the bus, but I kept walking. I was three blocks from the hospital, but I preferred the cold to sitting next to that woman for one more minute. She had no business talking about my father that way. I didn’t know who she was, but I’d known plenty of people who’d thought the same way. I’d heard the whispers at school, and then the kids who hadn’t even bothered to try to whisper.
I blamed the weather for the water freezing on my cheeks, and by th
e time I reached the hospital, I was ready to work and forget all about the fact that I’d been crying. I threw myself into every task the nurses set in front of me, desperate to have my mind focused on anything but my life.
I was so focused on not focusing on anything that I was a full foot past him before I recognized his scent.
Because that wasn’t creepy.
I opened my mouth to say hello, but that was when I saw he wasn’t alone. Jax stood just inside a room with three impressive-looking men who had to be related to him. Maybe brothers. He hadn’t said anything about having brothers, but it wasn’t like we’d really spent much time talking about anything other than my bar and my boyfriend.
Right, boyfriend. I needed to remember Billy and forget about Jax. It didn’t matter why he was here unless someone asked me to look in on them. Considering I was essentially done, that wasn’t going to happen. And that was a good thing.
I’d gone another foot or so down the hall when I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Jax disappearing around the corner.
I didn’t even think about what to do. I just went after him, catching up at the elevators.
“Jax?”
He didn’t look at me, but the muscle in his jaw clenched, and I knew he’d heard me. When the elevator doors opened, I followed him inside. His expression was stony, his eyes like ice. I couldn’t feel the arrogance and swagger that I’d recognized in him each other time I’d spoken with him. I couldn’t feel anything.
“Are you okay?”
He didn’t speak, but the fists his hands had made kept opening and closing, like he couldn’t quite stay still. Like there was something inside him filling him with a nervous energy that he needed to get rid of.
I reached out and put my hand on his arm. His muscles tensed under his shirt sleeve, but he didn’t shake me off.
I repeated my question, “Are you okay?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
The pain in those three words twisted my heart. “What can I do?”
The doors opened, and as he walked out, he said, “Nothing.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to let him go that easily. Something was wrong. It didn’t matter that I slapped him the last time we’d seen each other. This was about helping someone in pain.
I caught up with him again just before he made it outside. I caught the sleeve of his coat, and he turned so quickly that I sucked in a breath.
“I said you can’t do anything, Syll.” His voice was low, thrumming with something primal and dark.
“Let me help you.” I reached up and put my hand on his cheek. “What happened?”
“My grandfather died.”
The grief I saw on his face hit close – too close – to what I’d gone through with my dad. All the feelings I’d been trying to work out of my head came rushing back, and all I wanted to do was take that pain from him because no one should have to feel like…
His mouth came down on mine hard and fast, and I could taste the desperation, the need. Not necessarily need for me, but for what I could offer him. Solace. Oblivion.
All the things I understood about wanting. So, I didn’t push him away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and did what I wanted to do the first time.
I kissed him back.
Seventeen
Jax
I couldn’t stay in that room with the machine letting off that long, steady sound that meant he was gone. My brothers were adults. They didn’t need me to stand with them the way I’d needed to when we lost Grandma Olive or our parents and sister. But I couldn’t let them see how much I was hurting either. I needed to be alone.
When I heard her say my name, I’d almost told her to leave me the hell alone. But she’d asked if I was okay, and she’d meant it. Not because she was after my money or wanted something from me, but because she really wanted to know. I was honest when I told her there was nothing she could do, but when she hadn’t let me go, something in me snapped.
And I kissed her.
Again.
But this time, she didn’t push me away. This time, her arms were around my neck and her lips parted under mine. This time, I buried a hand in her hair, put the other on the small of her back, and poured everything I was feeling into her.
And for each one of those blissful seconds, I wasn’t thinking about anything except the way her body felt pressed against mine, the taste of her on my tongue.
I wanted her.
No, more than that. I needed her.
She was the only person I could let see me this way. She wouldn’t hold it against me, wouldn’t think less of me for the pain I was in. She had no preconceived notions of who I was, and she didn’t want anything from me. I didn’t need to worry about us being splashed across the tabloids or her coming to me for money. This could just be about me forgetting.
I heard a sound behind me and realized that we were still standing in front of the doors. I didn’t want to stop kissing Syll though. Once I did, I wasn’t sure she’d let me do it again, and I really needed to keep doing it. I wrapped my arms around her and spun us around, so we were tucked into a small alcove behind a potted palm tree.
She made a surprised sound but didn’t push me away. Her fingers dug into my hair, her teeth nipping at my lips before her tongue slid across mine. I pushed my knee between her thighs, rocking against her until she gasped. That was the spot. She squirmed, but I held her in place.
There were so many parts of my life that I couldn’t control, and today had been the worst in a long time. But this, with her, was something I could control. Unless she told me to stop, I was going to make her come right here.
I pushed my leg against her harder, then bit her bottom lip, my entire body humming with a desperation I didn’t fully understand. All I knew was that I’d never wanted a woman to come so badly before.
Her body tensed, and I knew she was fighting it. That just made me want it more.
“Let go,” I murmured against her mouth before I took it again.
A shudder ran through her, and I swallowed any sounds she would have made. My cock strained against my pants, and a part of me wanted to fuck her right here.
And then I remembered that here was the hospital where my grandfather had just died.
I ended the kiss but didn’t pull away from her. I rested my forehead against hers, our mingled breathing sounding harsh in the relative seclusion of our little corner.
“I don’t want to go home,” I said, raising my head so I could look at her face. Her cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated, and her lips swollen.
Fuck.
“Jax.”
Her voice was low, husky, and a bolt of desire so sharp it was almost painful went through me.
“I don’t want to be alone.”
Her eyes met mine, and I waited for her to make her decision. I probably could have coaxed her, guilted her, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted her to choose to be with me. Tonight. Just tonight.
“I closed the bar tonight,” she said. “The weather’s supposed to be bad.”
I brushed my lips across hers. “Sounds like the perfect night to stay in.” I started to straighten, then stopped as she grabbed my arms. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“My legs need a moment,” she said wryly. Her blush deepened, and my cock throbbed as I imagined that color spreading across the rest of her skin.
“Here.” I helped her over to a chair. “Where’s your coat?”
I was worried that when I came back downstairs with Syll’s coat, the heat between us would’ve cooled enough for her to think twice about her offer, but all that happened was that she’d taken her coat and held out a hand to me.
I called my car service when I’d been going for her coat, so the town car was waiting when we walked outside. That burst of cold and swirl of snow that greeted us when we stepped outside made me grateful I’d thought ahead.
We didn’t talk on the ride over to the bar, and the only place we touched was our
hands. It was strange. The nervous energy that had consumed me for the past day and a half was gone, but it hadn’t left behind the exhaustion that I usually felt after I’d been running on adrenaline for more than a day. Instead, I felt…grounded.
I didn’t understand it, but I wasn’t going to pick it apart either. For once in my life, I was just going to go with it.
“My place isn’t going to be anything like what you’re used to,” she said as we entered the bar and headed for the back.
I could hear the nerves in her voice and squeezed her hand. “Thank you for letting me be here.”
She nodded as she took off her boots and coat. “Do you want something to drink? I have beer, water, and some orange juice.”
I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist. “I’m not thirsty.”
She turned and pushed herself up on her tiptoes to kiss my chin. “Me either.”
I picked her up, cutting the height difference so I could kiss her as I walked her back to a worn overstuffed chair. I sat down, arranging her on my lap until she had a knee on either side of my legs.
Like this, we were the same height, and she looked in my eyes as she ran her fingers through my hair. I could see questions there, but she didn’t ask any. This time, she initiated the kiss, and she didn’t hold back.
I lost myself in her, my brain processing only the sensations of her and me and what we were doing.
She tasted like mint and chocolate – cocoa maybe – and I could catch the scent of it even under the smell of her shampoo. Her mouth was hot, lips soft, and they moved with mine in perfect rhythm.
Her curves fit perfectly against my hands, and I squeezed her ass before moving up under her shirt. Her skin was soft and hot under my palms, and as I moved to pull her shirt over her head, I waited for her to protest. Instead, she let me toss it aside, then moaned as I kissed my way down her chest. Her head fell back, hair brushing against the back of my hands as I nipped and licked the exposed skin just above the black cotton of her bra.
